HOW DO YOU HOLD THE OTHER PARTNER ACCOUNTABLE?
INTEGRITY
It would be out of integrity to have an agreement broken by the other partner and not to
speak of it. Period.
NO MAKE-WRONG STATEMENTS
The art is in not making the other partner wrong or in having the partner not believe you
are making him/her wrong.
As in any communication with your partner you do not get to make a you statement other
than one that is accurate and verifiable (i.e. nothing about character, ever, ever, ever).
You describe only “what happened”:
EXAMPLE:
“We agreed that you would do so and so. That didn’t happen. What are your intentions
and promises with regard to that.”1
THE ONLY KIND OF ACCOUNTABILITY ALLOWED IS…
The kind of accountability in this and all situations must be “compassionate
accountability”. The other partner is human and you are human and we all make
mistakes and let the other down, but we need to support each other – and you have the
right to request that support – and you should give it.
AN ALTERNATIVE!: Get from your partner the exact language that will work for
him/her.
Simply get from your partner what would work. “When you break an agreement, what do
you want me to say to communicate that?” and “What response will you give me so that I
know you got it and so that I receive a new promise.”2 And then you get to say “When I
break an agreement, here is how I would like it handled:”
As human beings, we are all infallible and we must realize that there is “no-fault”. See
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com , Psychology, Overall, Compassion And the Human Condition - A Look At Yourself and
NO-BLAME - The Reasoning For . and, under Relationships, Communication, Overall, NO-BLAME COMMUNICATION AND
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THE NO BLAME RELATIONSHIP
In good, clean communication, the partner who broke the agreement simply says “I acknowledge that I
broke the agreement,” which essentially completes the past, so that you can move forward. And then the
partner makes a new promise of what he/she will do.
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© 2005 Keith D. Garrick
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PARTNER BROKEN AGREEMENT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Dear Partner ______________:
This form is provided to simplify and keep clean communication about your breaking an
agreement, to make it easier for any partner to point this fact out. It is just a fact and it
only a fact. I imply no character fault and recognize only that we are human, but that we
need to keep agreements to have things work for all concerned. It simply is about
workability.
The agreement by you to do _____________________
____________________ was not kept.
I request that you acknowledge that you did not keep it and that you make a new promise.
Respectfully requested by: _____________________________
Partner response:
I ____________________ acknowledge that I did not keep my agreement.
I now promise to __________________________________________________.
I acknowledge that it works best if I honor my agreements with my partner
And I promise to do so.
Furthermore, I realize that it is best that I honor my partner by keeping the
agreements I make with him/her.
Signed ______________________________ Date: ____/____/____
© 2005 Keith D. Garrick
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