Jane Bond in Goldfinger
Dominic Streames © 2011
Goodies
Baddies
1. Jane Bond: …………………………
9. Goldfinger: ………………………
2. Penelope: ……………………………
10. Dr No: ………………………………
3. Cherry: ………………………………
11. Max: ………………………………
4. Bill: …………………………………..
12. Sam: ……………………………
5. Bob: …………………………………
13. Mary: ……………………………
6. Guard 1: ……………………………
14. Chip: ……………………………
7. Guard 2: ……………………………
15. Wendy: ………………………
8. Guard 3: ……………………………
Scene 1
(enter 2 or 3 children who stand at the front of the stage and say “ Scene 1” then exit)
Sound effect: gunfire – no one on stage
(enter Dr No, Goldfinger, Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip. They enter running, shooting behind them
as if they are being chased)
Sound effect: Gunfire stops.
(Everyone looks around to check no one is coming)
Wendy:
This is terrible.
Sam:
Yes, this is terrible.
Mary,Chip:
What can we do?
Max:
What can we do?
Max, Sam:
Can you see Jane Bond?
Mary, Wendy:
No, I can’t. Can you see Jane Bond?
Chip:
No, I can’t.
Goldfinger, Dr No:
Ha, ha, ha. Jane Bond cannot stop us.
Max,Mary,Wendy,Chip,Sam:
No, Jane Bond cannot stop us!
Dr No:
Hello (speaking to audience) my name is Dr No.
Goldfinger:
My name is Goldfinger.
Dr No:
We are bad.
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Dominic Streames
efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2011
Goldfinger:
We are very bad.
Goldfinger, Dr No:
Ha,ha,ha.
Goldfinger:
Have you got the gold?
Max,Sam,Mary,Wendy:
Goldginger:
Here you are. (Handing over gold bars)
Fantastic. I love gold!
Sound effect: James Bond music.
(James Bond music plays and Jane Bond, Penelope, Cherry, Bill, Bob enter. There is a big fight as
the music continues to play, and Jane Bond and her helpers capture the baddies, rounding them up
and surrounding them)
Sound effect: music stops.
Penelope, Cherry, Bill, Bob : Hands up! Hands up!
Dr No, Goldfinger, Max, Sam Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Jane Bond:
Jane Bond!
Yes, hello everyone. My name is Bond, Jane Bond. And you …are under
arrest!
Dr No, Goldfinger, Max, Sam Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Oh no!
Jane Bond:
You are very bad.
Penelope:
You are going to prison.
Cherry, Bill bob:
Give us the gold!
Dr No:
Here you are (said in a very sulky voice)
Goldfinger:
Look what’s that? (pointing off stage)
(Jane Bond, Penelope, Cherry, Bill and Bob all turn around to see what Goldfinger is pointing at.
The baddies then all jump on Jane Bond and the goodies and there is a big fight. After 15 seconds,
all the baddies escape but Jane Bond manages to capture Goldfinger.
Dr No, Max, Sam Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Come on, let’s go.
(exitDr No, Max, Sam Mary, Wendy, Chip running)
Chip:
Stop! Hands up (Capturing Goldfinger)
Penelope:
Take Goldfinger to prison.
(exit everyone, with Goldfinger going first with hands in the air)
Scene 2 In the prison
(Goldfinger is on stage in a cell with the 3 guards in front walking up and down)
(enter 2 or 3 children who say “ Scene 2 in the prison ” then exit)
Goldfinger:
Audience:
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Hello everyone (speaking to the audience) how are you?
Fine thank you, and you?
Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2011
Goldfinger:
I’m not fine. I am in prison. This is terrible. I must escape.
Guard 1:
Ha, ha, ha! You can’t escape.
Guard 2:
No, you can’t escape.
Guard 3:
This is a super prison.
Guard 1:
We have got big walls.
Guard 2:
We have got big dogs.
Guard 3:
We have got big guns!
Guard 1,2,3:
On one escapes from …….the Super Prison.
(The guards carry on marching up and down)
Sound effect:
Mission impossible music.
(Mission impossible music plays and Dr No, Max, Sam Mary, Wendy and Chip enter. They throw
ropes onto the stage or just across the floor and pretend to climb up. They all then hide at the back
of the stage)
Sound effect:
Music stops.
Guard 1:
Did you hear something?
Guard 2:
No, I didn’t.
(The baddies very slowly sneak up behind the guards. Each time the guards say “What was that?”
they freeze.)
Guard 3:
What was that?
Guard 1:
Nothing
(Baddies sneak closer)
Guard 2:
What was that?
Guard 3:
Nothing
(Baddies sneak closer)
Guard 1:
What was that?
Guard 2:
Nothing
(Baddies knock out the guards and open the cell and release Goldfinger. The following song is
optional)
Sound effect:
Goldfinger music
(Goldfinger walks to the front of the stage and everyone sings, including the guards who can get up
to join in)
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Goldfinger
He´s a man
A man with a midas touch
A spider´s touch
Such a cold finger
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don´t go in.
Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2011
Max, Sam:
What are we going to do?
Wendy, Chip, Wendy:
Goldfinger:
Yes, what are we going to do?
We are going to steal ……..some gold! Let’s go
(Exit everyone)
Scene 3 In the bank
(enter 2 or 3 children who say “ Scene 3 in the bank” then exit)
(enter Jane Bond, Penelope, Cherry, Bill, Bob)
Bill:
Where are we?
Bob:
I don’t know. Where are we?
Penelope, Cherry:
I don’t know.
Jane Bond:
We are in the bank.
Bill, Bob, Cherry, Penelope: In the bank?
Penelope:
Why are we in the bank?
Jane Bond:
I have a plan to catch Goldfinger.
Bill, Bob, Cherry, Penelope: Yes?
Jane Bond:
Yes, I have a very clever plan.
Bill, Bob, Cherry, Penelope: What do we do?
Jane Bond:
Goldfinger loves Gold, doesn’t he?
Bill, Bob, Cherry, Penelope: Yes!
Jane Bond:
We put this gold here (Jane Bond puts some gold in the middle of the stage)
and we wait.
Bill, Bob, Cherry, Penelope: Very clever.
Jane Bond:
Yes, I am.
Penelope:
Someone is coming
Bill, Bob, Cherry:
Quick, let’s hide.
(everyone hides)
Sound effect: Music as baddies enter on tip toe
(enter Dr No, Goldfinger, Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip, all sneaking on stage on tip toes)
Sam, max:
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Where are we?
Dominic Streames
efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2011
Mary, Chip:
Where are we?
Dr No:
Shhhhh! This is the bank.
Wendy:
What’s that?
Dr No:
That….is gold. Beautiful gold.
Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Goldfinger:
Wow. What are we going to do?
What are we going to do? We are going to have a picnic.
Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip:
A picnic! Fantastic!
Chip:
I’m hungry
Wendy:
Me too.
Goldfinger:
Shut up! Shut up! We are not going to have a picnic!
Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Dr No:
Oh (disappointed)
We are going to steal the gold!
Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Goldfinger:
Oh! (excited)
Take the gold!
(Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip go and get the gold, treading carefully to avoid the lasers – these
could be red ribbon or string tied between chairs)
Dr No:
Ha, ha, ha! No one can stop us.
(Jane Bond steps out from her hiding place)
Jane Bond:
Wrong again, Goldfinger!
Max, Sam, Mary, Wendy, Chip:
Huh! Oh No!
Goldfinger:
Jane Bond! This time you will die!
Dr No:
Get them!
(There is a big fight and finally the baddies are captured)
Penelope:
Take them all to prison.
(They all leave in single file, with Goldfinger last)
Jane Bond:
Excuse me! (looking cross – Jane bond hands out her hand. Goldfinger
reluctantly takes out a gold bar he had hidden in his coat)
Jane Bond:
Thank you!
Goldfinger:
I shall return. I shall return!
(Dr No, Jane Bond move to the centre of the stage)
Penelope, Jane Bond:
The world is a safer place ……. For today!
(everyone come back on stage and lines up to take a bow)
The end
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Dominic Streames
efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2011