Lesson 5: Introduction to the Writing Process (Editing and Revision Strategies) and Peer Review
Lesson Objectives:
o Reinforce the six steps of the writing process.
o Discuss in detail editing and revision strategies.
o Introduce effective peer review strategies
Texts:
o “Drafting and Revising Process,” LBH 1-46.
Handouts:
o Writing Process III
Pedagogical Rationale: This lesson reinforces the six steps of the writing process
(ideation/brainstorming, outlining, drafting, editing, revision, publication) before focusing more
closely upon editing, revision, and peer review strategies with an eye towards providing cadets
with the tools necessary for publishing HWE 1 at the beginning of Lesson 6.
Scheme of Maneuver:
o Address issues/questions remaining from the previous class and the lesson assignment.
o The six steps of the formal writing process:
o Ideation/Brainstorming
o Outlining
o Drafting (x 3)
o Editing
o Revision
o Publication
o A few notes about paragraphs and arguments.
o A paragraph:
 Is an indented group of sentences set apart from other groups of sentences.
 Helps organize ideas.
 Indicates key changes in the argument.
 Introduces main points of your arguments.
 Develops evidence in support of your main points.
 Form the different elements of your argument.
 Introduction (and thesis).
 Body paragraphs (sequentially address the main points of your
argument).
 Conclusion.
o What are the ELEMENTS of an effective paragraph?
 Effective paragraphs are unified, coherent, and fully developed.
 Unified Paragraphs:
 Explore 1 and only 1 idea.
 Introduce and strictly focus upon a clearly stated topic sentence.
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TIP: Try highlighting the topic sentence in every paragraph you write.
Then check each sentence in the paragraph. Does each sentence
DIRECTLY support the paragraph’s topic sentence? If you cannot
identify your topic sentence – or have added sentences that do not
directly support the topic sentence – then you probably have not
constructed a unified paragraph. (Stated a bit differently. If you cannot
identify your topic sentence, how can you expect a reader to do so?)
o Coherent Paragraphs:
 Are organized precisely and concisely.
 Achieve effective organization in accordance with the following
patterns:
o Spatial: Within a specific space or place.
o Chronological: Within a specific time frame.
o Specific to General: Show how specific instances lead to more
general observations.
o Problem-Solution: Identify a specific problem…and its
solution.
o Climactic: Construct building blocks leading to a climax.
 Employ effective diction:
o Precise.
o Concise.
o Consistent.
o Sophisticated.
 Employ effective transitions.
o Fully developed paragraphs:
 Provide evidentiary support (evidence).
o Quantitative evidence (numbers, statistics, figures, etc.)
o Qualitative evidence (quotes, quotations, facts, etc.)
 Implement a strategy. (Pattern of Development)
o Description.
o Illustration/support.
o Definition.
o Division/analysis of the parts.
o Classification.
o Compare/contrast.
o Analogy.
o Cause and effect.
o Process analysis.
 Paragraph length.
o General rule: Between 5 and 8 sentences.
o Any shorter than 5 sentences  the paragraph usually lacks
development.
o Any longer than 8 sentences  the paragraph usually lacks
unity, precision or concision.

o An argument:
 Is both a process and a product.
 Requires justification of its claims.
 Combines the pursuit of truth and persuasion.
 Is a rational inquiry.
o The essays you will write in this class will rely upon argumentative writing.
 You will propose a thesis. (“This is what I think and this is why I think it.”)
 You will then support that thesis with evidence and analysis.
 AND you will do so in a precise, concise, consistent, and sophisticated
manner.
Drafting:
o Drafting is predicated upon your brainstorming and outline.
o Take your introduction and expand upon it to prepare your opening paragraph.
 Have you grabbed your reader’s attention?
 Have you transitioned from your attention-getter into a clearly defined and
focused thesis statement?
 Have you introduced the main points you will discuss throughout your essay
to support (or “prove”) your thesis?
 Close your introduction with a powerful sentence that allows you to transition
into your body paragraphs.
 Now you are ready to write purposeful body paragraphs that are unified,
coherent, consistent, and well developed.
 As you write your draft…continuously ask yourself – am I providing
EXACTLY the right amount of detail? Remember – you do not want to bore
your audience, but you have to provide enough information to fully convince
your audience that you have constructed a valid argument.
 Ensure that EVERY sentence, EVERY quotation…literally, EVERY WORD
of a paragraph must, in some way, refer to and/or support the paragraph’s
topic sentence.
 Employ precise diction.
 Use pronouns and antecedents where appropriate.
 Repeat key (critical) words/phrases.
 Identify and then use synonyms to avoid repeating the same
words/phrases over and over again throughout your essay.
 Use transitional phrases to link sentences together within a paragraph
(internal transitions) and paragraphs together (external transitions.)
 The handout and your texts both have lists of transitional
words/phrases.
 Consistently remind yourself of your purpose for writing the essay. (What am
I trying to prove? Am I proving it?) Stay on track.
 Beware of the tone of your essay. Just as you have a “voice” when you speak
(and a specific attitude unique to you) – your writing also has a tone. Be
careful that your tone is appropriate for the type of essay you are trying to
construct. Coming across as a blowhard or know-it-all is not usually very
endearing. Conversely, you should not sound as if you are unsure about your
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own argument. Be confident without being cocky or condescending. Most
importantly, be yourself.
Vary your sentence structures. Just as you do not enjoy mind-numbing
repetition (in class, on the radio, on a CD, in a book, on a television show,
etc.) – neither does your audience. You can vary your sentences in two
relatively easy (but effective) ways:
 Length: Do not make every single sentence the same length.
Use short sentences, medium-length sentences…and long
sentences.
 Short sentences work very effectively to introduce longer
sentences…or after a series of longer sentences. Use them for
dramatic effect or to reinforce a main point.
 Use coordinating words (and, but, yet, or nor, for, so) and
subordinating words (after, although, as if, as soon as, because,
even though, if, since, unless, until, when, whenever, etc.) very
carefully. Coordinating and subordinating words are powerful
tools – as long as you do not overuse them.
o Verb Selection: Most beginning (and even intermediate) writers rely
entirely too heavily upon forms of the verb “to be” – is, was, are, to be,
become, etc. I have read essays where virtually every sentence used a
form of “to be”. Simply put – “to be” is not a very sophisticated verb;
it is static and its use often results in passive sentences. (Indeed,
sentences that employ forms like “it is” and “there are”, etc. are weak
and indirect. There is even a name for them – expletive constructions.
Use action verbs.
o If I could pick ONE “thing” to make your writing more
sophisticated…this would be it. Use active, dynamic verbs.
 Forms of the verb “to be” work very well in simple statements
of declarative fact. “The sky is blue.”
Employ precise diction. Use exactly the right word at exactly the right time.
Remember, words have very specific connotative and denotative meanings
(connotation/denotation). Often, a word’s secondary or suggested meanings
(connotation) are extremely powerful.
Avoid biased diction. You do not want to offend your potential audience.
o Avoid stereotypes.
o Avoid sexist language.
o Avoid racist language.
o You need to be especially aware of your pronoun usage.
General drafting advice:
o Try to write your entire draft in one sitting. Doing so will help your
essay flow. If you write your essay over an extended period of time –
one paragraph here, another there – you run the risk of constructing
disjointed paragraphs. As a result, your essay will not flow very well
and will be less effective.
o Every now and then, stop and read your essay aloud. You can often
identify weaknesses in your own writing when you “hear” it – rather
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than simply reading it silently. Often, when we read silently we skip
over words as we read, or add words that are not really there. By
reading your essay slowly and aloud, you will likely catch errors you
never would have found otherwise.
o Some writers like to edit their essays as they write – which is fine.
But, in the drafting stage, you should focus primarily on getting your
argument down on paper (or the computer screen) in its entirety. We
will go back and edit and revise in the next step.
o Save your essay as “Draft 1” and subsequent revisions as “Draft2”,
“Draft 3”, etc. (You will eventually save your Final Draft as “Final”.)
o Do not be as focused upon grammar during the drafting stage. If you
see an error, fix it. (In other words, do not intentionally skip over
grammar errors….) Your main focus during the drafting stage is
turning your outline into an organized, unified, and sophisticated essay
of sentences.
Revision is (for most writers) often the most important step of the writing process.
Revision can be a difficult and time-consuming process.
o It is MUCH more than simply changing a few spellings, punctuation marks and
correcting a few errors, all of which are really part of the editing stage…which I
examine in more detail below.
o See Chapter 3b in your Little, Brown, Handbook for a more thorough discussion
about revision.
o Revision is a complete rethinking (hence re-vision) of your essay.
o In other words – do not look at revision as a “throw away” step in the writing
process. It most certainly is not.
o Revising focuses on ensuring that everything in the essay addresses its purpose,
audience, thesis, and role.
o Ensuring diction is precise, concise and sophisticated.
o Reordering details.
o Adding/deleting ideas.
o Reshaping sentences.
Revising IS NOT editing, per se, as it does not focus (at this point in the process) on
issues of correctness:
o Grammar.
o Spelling.
o Punctuation.
o Capitalization.
General tips for revising:
o Let your draft sit for at least a day after you have “completed” your first draft.
o Make sure you reserve enough time to revise. Remember it is often quite time
consuming.
o Conduct your revision in stages.
o Read your draft aloud.
o If it sounds wrong…or awkward…it probably is. Trust yourself.
o Give your draft to a peer to review for you.
o Write multiple drafts. (I recommend at least 3 revised drafts.)
o Editing focuses on correctness issues, including:
o Grammar.
o Spelling.
o Punctuation.
o Capitalization.
o General editing tips:
o It is very easy to skip right over errors you have made. Therefore, you have to be
very deliberate in your editing. I highly recommend establishing a specific,
habitual order that you ALWAYS use when you edit.
o You absolutely MUST read your essay aloud when you edit. Do so very slowly
and deliberately. If you read too quickly, you will skip right over the errors.
o Some people like to read their essays from the back to the front. What that means
is…. Read the last sentence of your essay for correctness errors. Then, read the
next to last sentence and so on. Doing this takes the essay out of context; it
allows you to focus on each and every word without worrying about or focusing
upon substance or organization concerns.
o Unlike with revision…it is MUCH more effective to edit a hard copy of your
essay. Print out your essay first. Then, let it sit for a while and come back to it
with a fresh perspective.
o I recommend using at least two different color highlighters and fine, or micro
fine, pens of different colors. Develop a system of meaning for each color. For
example, if you have problems with commas (or any other punctuation marks),
highlight every single one of them in your essay and then go back and make a
conscious assessment of whether or not the punctuation mark has been used
correctly. Once you have “checked” the punctuation mark, put a check mark
above it and move on to the next one.
o I recommend having a second reader read your essay for correctness issues.
There is nothing wrong with this – that is why we have “editors” in the
workplace.
o I recommend maintaining a “writing journal” – which has a list of your recurring
writing problems. For example, whenever an instructor hands back an essay, note
the errors/suggestions the instructor has made. Then, go to your journal and write
down the errors. On a separate sheet (either at the front of the journal or the back)
keep a running total. You might be surprised by how many comma errors or
pronoun errors, etc. you make. Keeping this list will help identify your weakness
as a writer. (And do not forget the most important step of this process – FIXING
your errors. Go online to www.google.com and type in “comma exercises” or
“pronoun exercises” or, if you really stink at grammar (it is okay…many people
do), type in “grammar exercises” and go to the links to work on your deficiencies.
If you do this for every error you make on the next five essays in your life…you
will likely fix your most significant recurring errors.
o Do NOT simply rely upon a computer’s spell checker or grammar checker.
o Review peer review procedures and worksheet.
o Looking Ahead: Lesson 6: Strategies for Improving Correctness and Style
 Publish HWE 1 at the beginning of Lesson 6. Late after Section Marcher
issues the report.