The Disease To Please People (Part 1)
I. Introduction
A. Our congregational theme this year is “Rejoice in the Lord.” Our theme verse is
easy to remember, but it’s command is often ignored; “Rejoice in the Lord always.
Again I will say rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4). The command to rejoice in the Lord is
found literally hundreds of times in Scripture. And yet, one reason it is so difficult
to find our joy in the Lord is because we pursue so many counterfeit sources of joy.
Our world is full of joy thieves! These joy thieves promise instant happiness, but
deliver misery. If we’re going to find our joy in the Lord we must identify and
dismiss these joy thieves—these counterfeit sources of joy.
B. Today we will look at the first joy thief, what we’ll call the disease to please people.
When our desire to please people exceeds our desire to please the Lord we will lose
our joy! I start with this one because it is so prevalent. We tend to find our joy from
how much people like us, and pleasing people has such a strong pull on us. We call
it peer pressure, or keeping up with the Jones, or fitting in, or being accepted, or
being popular, we all crave the applause. We think, “If only he will love me I’ll be
happy. If only they will accept me I’ll be content. If I could only fit into their group
I’d have it made.” We are all tempted to find our joy in the acceptance of others
more than we realize. There is hardly a thing we wear, or say, or watch, or do that
is not influenced by our desire to fit in with someone.
C. Trying to find your joy in the approval of people will lead to disappointment for a
number of reasons.
1. You can’t please everyone. It has been said, “I don’t know the key to success, but
the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” If you find your joy in being
accepted by people your joy will always be drained by those who don’t accept you.
2. People are selfish. Even if someone accepts you it is often just to use you for
their own happiness and not yours.
3. People are limited. Even if someone does have your best interest at heart, what
they think is good, right, and wise is limited, and very often wrong.
4. People are not good forgivers. So, when you do something to displease them, and
you will, finding joy in their acceptance again will be difficult.
5. Ultimately, pleasing people is temporary. When this life is over, and we stand
before the Judge it will not matter how many people thought we were great. The
only thing that will matter is, “Have I pleased the Lord.”
D. The disease to please people can make you sick. That is why today I want us to
learn to rejoice in the Lord by seeking above all else to please Him. There is no
shortage of people who recognize the problems of pleasing people and they will say,
“Don’t please people, please yourself!” But we have the same weaknesses everyone
else has. A much better source of joy is to find it in pleasing the Lord. He is not
selfish, limited, and He’s a great forgiver, whose opinion is the only thing that
ultimately matters! I want this verse from 2 Corinthians 5:9 to find a place in our
minds today, “We make it our aim to be well pleasing to Him.” I want us to be
thinking all week, “What can I do today to make God smile?” “Is this pleasing to
Him?” By the end of the week we will have a joy nobody in this world can touch.
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E. Let’s begin by recognizing what the Bible says about the problem of seeking the
praise of people.
II. Seeking The Praise of People
A. Will Destroy Your Faith. We can’t live to please people and live to please God.
We must choose. Because, when we choose to please people it kills our ability to
believe Jesus. Jesus warned His followers about this choice.
1. In Matthew 10 He sent them out to teach the gospel and told them they would be
rejected and persecuted, and they would have to choose, to fear men or to fear
God. Jesus advised them to shout their faith from the rooftops because man
could only touch the body; it was God who controlled the destiny of the soul.
a. Jesus went on to say this choice of who we will please must be made even
with those who are most dear to us. He said, “He who loves father or mother
more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more
than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matt. 10:37). How many people have rejected
the truth of God’s word about salvation, the church, and life, because it is not
what their family believes or what their friends accept?
b. I know a man who understood what the Bible taught about the role of
baptism in salvation, but he would not obey it because it would offend his
mother whose church believed differently. When we live to please people it
will destroy our ability to believe the truth.
2. Let me show you an example of how this can happen. In John 5 Jesus
miraculously healed a man who had been lame for 38 years. The crowds were
amazed, but some were angry. They could not dismiss the miracles Jesus did,
but they would not accept his message. In John 5:41 Jesus tells us what
destroyed their ability to believe.
“41 “I don’t need praise from people. 42 But I know you—I know
that you don’t have God’s love in you.43 I have come from my
Father and speak for him, but you don’t accept me. But when
another person comes, speaking only for himself, you will accept
him.44 You try to get praise from each other, but you do not try to
get the praise that comes from the only God. So how can you
believe?” (John 5:41-44 NCV)
You can’t believe the truth of the gospel when you are more interested in the
praise of people than the praise of God. You can’t live for both! You must
choose! Because to the extent that we crave the approval of people we will be
deaf to the truth of God.
B. Will Silence Your Confession. This leads us to the next point. Seeking the
praise of people will silence your confession. There are many people who believe in
Jesus and His teachings they are just afraid of what someone might think if they
really knew. And their faith, becomes no faith at all.
1. Jesus encountered some spineless believers like this in John 12. Many had seen
Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead. And yet, verse 42 says,
“42 Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of
the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the
synagogue; 43 for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.”
(John 12:42-43)
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They were trying to be “secret disciples.” And that’s a contradiction in terms.
Either the secrecy is going to kill their discipleship, or discipleship, of necessity,
has to kill their secrecy.
2. If the people we work with, go to school with, live around do not know what we
believe and Who we serve above all else, then the disease to please has silenced
our confession. Pleasing people extinguishes our ability to shine like lights in
this world.
3. But let me ask you, what would we do if someone falsely accused our wife, would
we be ashamed to defend her? If someone abused our children, would we be
ashamed to protect them? If someone even downs our favorite sports team are
we ashamed to speak of its virtues? No! Then why are we ashamed to speak
when God’s name and His righteous ways are maligned? Is it not that we have
made an idol out of our own reputation?
C. Will Compromise The Truth. In addition, when we do speak of our faith, a desire
to please people will cause us to compromise the truth in order to fit in. Many
churches and Christians drift along the sea of cultural values. They don’t offer the
distinctive way of holiness and righteousness, because it is offensive and foolish to
the world.
1. So we are so strongly tempted to compromise what the Bible teaches about the
role of women in worship, or homosexuality, or the work and worship of the
church, or materialism because it doesn’t please people. So, the truth of the
gospel is dimmed to the level of cultural tolerances.
2. Our love for the Lord will not allow us to do that. We cannot compromise the
eternal truth of God to fit in with a world that is destined for destruction. When
it comes to our faith we must have the attitude of Paul in 1 Thessalonians 2.
Here Paul describes how he preached the gospel in Thessalonica. Read
beginning in verse 4,
“we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the
gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests
our hearts. 5 You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on
a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. 6 We were not
looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else” (1
Thess. 2:4-6)
Whenever we speak about God and His word our primary thought must be, “Is
what I’m saying pleasing to God, accurate to His word?” Because, if our thought
is, “Will they like it?” We will compromise truth for acceptance.
3. Charles Finney has these power questions for those of us who would be tempted
to compromise the truth to fit in. He writes,
“And now I wish to know how many of you will determine to do your duty, and all
your duty, according to the will of God, let public sentiment be as it may? Who of you
will agree to take the Bible for your rule, Jesus Christ for your pattern, and do what
is right, in all cases, whatever man may say or think? Every one that is not willing to
take this ground must regard himself as a stranger to the grace of God. He is by no
means in a state of justification. If he is not resolved upon doing what he knows to be
right, let public sentiment be as it may, it is proof positive that he loves the praise of
men more than the praise of God.” http://christianbookshelf.org/finney/lectures_to_professing_christians/index.html
Provocative, but right! The disease to please will destroy your ability to believe,
silence your confession, and lead you to compromise the truth.
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D. Will Spoil Your Relationships. Fourthly, the disease to please will destroy your
relationships. Which is strange, because we think, “If I live to please others it will
win me friends” when in actuality it creates cliques; it forms the in crowd, the out
crowd, the popular and the alienated. However, when you seek to please the Lord,
you discover that He loved the world—sinner and saint alike—and you’ll begin to
value all people more highly.
1. Church Relationships. The church in Corinth is an example of what pleasing
people can do to the unity of the church. They were a fractured group because
some said, “I like Paul,” others “I like Apollos,” others said, “I’m a Peter fan.”
And the church divided up under what group was most popular. It is sad beyond
degree when church is more enamored by a man than by the Lord! However, if
my goal is to know and honor the Lord, and that is your goal as well, we know
the joy of unity in the Lord.
2. Family Relationships. In addition, friends and families are often fractured by
playing favorites. There is a tragic example of this in John 9. Jesus healed a
blind man and naturally the former blind man tells everyone what good thing
Jesus had done for him. However, some people didn’t like him speaking well of
Jesus. So, they hauled him before the assembly and asked him to deny Jesus.
He would not. So, they brought in the man’s parents. And this is what they
said,
“20 His parents answered them and said, “We know that this is
our son, and that he was born blind; 21 but by what means he
now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not
know. He is of age; ask him. He will speak for himself.” 22 His
parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for the
Jews had agreed already that if anyone confessed that He was
Christ, he would be put out of the synagogue. 23 Therefore his
parents said, “He is of age; ask him.” (John 9:20-23)
Their desire to please people kept them from standing with their own son! And
how many times have the tables been turned, and a young man or woman
rejected the godly advice of their parents to please their sinful friends! When we
desire to please people we will not stand with those who stand with Christ. It
will spoil the most helpful relationships in our lives.
E. Will Cause You To Sin. Furthermore, the disease to please will cause you to sin.
When you desire to please people, and people are sinful, you will at some point have
to sin in order to please them!
1. Pilate. In fact, the most monstrous sin ever committed was the result of wanting
to please men. Pilate knew Jesus was innocent. He proclaimed several times, “I
find no fault in Him.” The bible says, “He knew that the chief priests had handed
Him over because of envy” (Mark 15:10). So, why did Pilate participate in
blatant murder? Mark 15:15 says, “Pilate wanted to please the crowd. So he set
Barabbas free. Then he ordered his soldiers to beat Jesus with a whip and nail
him to a cross.” The murder of Jesus triggered by pleasing people above pleasing
God! And friends, we are led into sin for the very same reasons today!
2. King Saul. The very reason King Saul lost his crown, lost his life, and lost his
soul, was because he valued the praise of men above the pleasure of God. He
offered a sacrifice when God told him not to, in order to please the people (1
Sam. 13:7,11). He didn’t offer a sacrifice when God told him to, in order to
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please the people (1 Sam. 15:24 – “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the
commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and
obeyed their voice.”). He was whipped into a murderous rage when he learned
that David was more popular than he was among the people. In the end, his
desire to be loved by people drove him mad. Being more concerned about what
people think than what God says will always lead to sin!
3. Let’s take a little test. Imagine for a moment one of your secret sins were to be
found out and published on the front page of the paper. Would you be upset
because you were found out, or that you were disgraced, or because God was
dishonored? If you find that you’re more concerned about your reputation than
God’s then your desire to please people will lead you into sin. If however, you
are grieved more for how your sin has wounded the Lord, you will be on your
way to recovery! (Psalm 51:4 – “Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done
this evil in Your sight— That You may be found just when You speak, And
blameless when You judge.”)
F. Will Steal Your Reward. The disease to please will destroy your faith, silence
your confession, compromise the truth, soil your relationships, lead you into sin,
and ultimately it will steal your reward. The most extensive discussion of the
problem of pleasing people is found in Matthew 6. Jesus is talking to religious
people who are doing good things like giving, praying and fasting. Yet, their motive
for doing it was wrong. They did those things “to be seen by men” (Matt. 6:1,2,5,16)
You see, even good things can be made sinful by desire to please men. That tells
you how dangerous this way of living can be—it can turn good, godly acts into sin.
1. It is a sin, that in the end, will steal your reward. Jesus says in verse 1, when
your desire is to be seen by people, to be accepted by people, “you have no reward
from your Father in heaven” (Matt. 6:1). That doesn’t mean that the praise of
men is not without a thrill. Jesus says three times in this text, when people do
things to be seen by men “they have their reward” (Matt. 6:2,5,16). The reward
of pleasing people in the momentary applause, the temporary acceptance, but
that is it. There will be no reward from the Father. Ask any athlete, any
politician, and they will tell you the applause of the crowd is exhilarating, but it
is short lived!
2. Heaven is too good and eternal life with God is too precious to throw it away for
the acceptance of some person, whoever they are.
III. Seeking the Praise of God
A. Our Pledge. We’ve seen enough evidence to realize that the disease to please
people is a joy thief! Oh, it offers little flashes of happiness, but it delivers nothing
but sin, compromise, disunity, unbelief and an eternal penalty.
1. If we are to rejoice in the Lord always, then our greatest desire above pleasing
others, and pleasing self, should be to please the Lord. This leads to a life of joy.
2. So, let’s end this lesson with a pledge: “We make it our aim to be well pleasing to
Him” (2 Cor. 5:9). Tonight we’ll discuss what that means. We will discuss some
very practical ways we can seek the praise of God above the praise of men. But
for now, let’s make this promise, “We make it our aim to be well pleasing to Him”
(2 Cor. 5:9).
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3. Of course, the reason why that is the only reasonable approach in life is found in
the very next verse which says,
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that
each one may receive the things done in the body, according to
what he has done, whether good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10)
Not only will He assess our deeds, but the motivation behind those deeds, as 1
Corinthians 4:4-5 reveals,
“He who judges me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before
the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the
hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts.
Then each one’s praise will come from God.” (1 Cor. 4:4-5)
It really doesn’t matter how many people we’ve pleased, how much praise we’ve
received. In the end, it is the judgment seat of Christ alone, and it is His
evaluation that counts. Let’s live each day like his opinion is the only thing that
matters.
B. Who is there today who will say, “I am on the Lord’s side. I will no longer go
with the crowds to do evil, but I am determined to please God in all things and
let the world say or do as they may.” When the gospel was first preached the call
was to come out of the world and pleasing the world, and into Christ. Acts 2:40,
“Be saved from this perverse generation.” 41 Then those who gladly received his
word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to
them.”“ Will you?
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