~ Student-Written Introductions with Teacher Comments ~
Required Components of Introduction:
Background information, including three adaptations of barn owl
What a pellet is & how it is formed
Purpose
Hypothesis
Sample Intro 1:
Barn Owls (Tyto alba) have adaptations that allow them to hunt and catch their prey. Razor-sharp talons
are used to catch and kill prey. One ear is above the other to allow the owl to find its prey on sound alone.
Another adaptation is that the Barn Owl has a disk-like head, which allows them to see and hear better. After
eating its prey, the flesh and organs are consumed, while the bones and hair eaten are regurgitated in the shape
of a pellet. We have been dissecting the pellets to try to see what our Barn Owl consumed and then later
regurgitated. It is most likely we will find the remains of voles because that is what they mostly prey on.
Comments: This introduction is okay. It meets all requirements of the project, but it is not very well written.
According to the rubric, it would get 9 points.
Sample Intro 2:
An owl pellet is one of the most fascinating things about an owl. In this adventure we will investigate an
owl pellet. The owl pellet we will be using comes from a barn owl. Barn owls have thick feathers to absorb any
sound for a silent flight. They can turn their head 270° since they can’t move their eyes in their sockets and owls
are nocturnal. Owls are carnivores, they use their keen sense of sight to find prey in the dark. They have an
acute sense of hearing which also helps in finding meals. Owls are stealthy hunters, they can easily sneak up on
their prey with their sharp talons.
Owl pellets are masses of bone, teeth, hair, feathers and exoskeletons of various animals preyed upon by
raptors, or birds of prey. Since owl do not have any teeth, they eat their prey whole. After an owl swallows its
meal, it travels down the esophagus, then through the proventriculus, and finally into the gizzard. In the gizzard,
the meal is separated. The parts that are not digestible go in the pellet. After the pellet is formed, the owl
regurgitates the pellet.
Comments: This introduction is much better written than the first one, but ironically, it would receive a lower
score because it is missing the purpose and the hypothesis. According to the rubric, it would only receive 7
points! Also, it is a little borderline on objectivity. “Fascinating” is really an opinion. Remember, lab reports
should contain “just the facts, Ma’am.”
Sample Intro 3:
Tyto alba, the Barn Owl, is found in open ecosystems, such as deserts, grasslands, marshes, and
agricultural fields. Tyto alba is a raptor, otherwise known as a “bird of prey.” A raptor is a carnivorous bird
that hunts and kills other animals for its food. Tyto alba, like all animals, has adaptations to help it survive in its
environment. One adaptation this owl has is excellent vision to see its prey even if it’s pitch black outside.
Second, it has marvelous hearing so it can sense its prey even if the animal is out of sight. Lastly, the owl’s
sharp and pointy claws, called talons, help it catch and kill its prey. The barn owl swallows its prey whole, then
regurgitates the undigested part of its prey that it cannot digest, because owls cannot chew their food. These
regurgitated items form into balls and are left in the owls’ nests. These balls are called pellets, which can
include fur, feathers, scales, beaks, teeth, and insect exoskeletons.
The purpose of this investigation is to find out what an owl pellet is like and what can be in it.
Comments: This introduction is also very well-written, but since it is missing the hypothesis, it would only
receive 8 points. If it had a hypothesis, it would receive 10 points because it includes some extra information
beyond the requirements.
Sample Intro 4:
One of the most interesting animals to study is the barn owl, or Tyto alba. Tyto means owl and alba
means white. The barn owl is usually considered to have a heart-shaped or monkey-shaped face. The barn
owl’s head can rotate 270 degrees and because it doesn’t have a neck this helps it see its prey. Owl’s ears are
placed asymmetrical on either side of its head. Because of their great hearing, they can detect their prey from
far distances. Barn owls eat voles, shrews, mice, and small birds and use their strong, sharp, deadly talons to
grasp their prey. They are nocturnal and hunt their prey at night.
They fly silently and take prey by surprise because they can’t be heard. The feathers of a barn owl’s
body can be light grey or brown but their face is very white. Barn owls can be between 10 and 18 inches tall
and have a wingspan of 30 to 43 inches. Barn owls don’t call often but when they do, it is more of a shriek than
a “hoot.” They live in almost all habitats but are found mostly in open areas, which are where their prey lives.
Barn owls eat their food whole and can digest the soft materials, but a pellet is formed from the bones
and fur that the owl can’t digest and is regurgitated. The purpose of this project is to determine what a barn owl
eats. My hypothesis is that there will be no more than 2 prey animals in my pellet.
Comments: Even though this introduction has all the requirements plus additional information, I could not in
good conscience give it 10 points because the writing is poor. If you read the yellow highlighted section, you
should notice that it is really just a list of facts in no logical order. It is lacking adequate transitions. I suspect
that this student found a bunch of facts about barn owls on the internet and simply copied and pasted them. That
is plagiarism! Also, the student shouldn’t say the barn owl is interesting. That’s an opinion. I would have to
give this one a 9.5.
Sample Intro. #5:
Barn Owls (Tyto alba) have adaptations that allow them to hunt and catch their prey. Razor talons are
used to catch and kill its prey. One ear is above the other to allow the owl to find its prey on sound alone.
Another adaptation is that the Barn Owl has a disk-like head, which allows it to see and hear better. After
eating its prey, the flesh and organs are consumed, while the bones and hair eaten are regurgitated in the shape
of a pellet. We have been dissecting the pellets to try to see what our Barn Owl consumed and then later
regurgitated. I think my owl pellet will only have one skeleton because it is so small.
Comments: This one has all the required components, but nothing extra. Again, the writing is not good. It would
get 9 points.
Sample Intro #6:
The sixth grade at Brookside School had a unique opportunity. We were able to dissect barn owl pellets.
Pellets are parts of prey that the owl cannot digest. The pellet may consist of bones, fur, and feathers. The owl
must regurgitate the pellet before it can eat again. Dissecting owl pellets is one way we can find out about what
the Barn Owl (Tyto alba) eats. The Barn Owl's favorite habitat consists of an open, low-lying area, but they may
also live in open woodland. Tyto alba may eat such things as voles, pocket gophers, birds, and mice. There are
many adaptations that help the owl capture these small creatures. It has sharp talons that can grasp its prey
quickly and swiftly. Another adaptation is large wings compared to body mass, which enables them to fly very
slowly and low to the ground. Their special wings help them to have silent flight so they can catch their prey by
surprise. In previous years, Brookside students have discovered many voles in their pellets, so that is what I
expected to find in mine.
Comments: This introduction has all required components, plus a teensy little bit of extra information about
the habitat. Since it is not that much extra, I would probably give it a 9.5.
Sample Intro. #7:
The small, furry vole is minding its own business, contentedly munching on some tasty clover plants beneath
the silvery moonlight. Suddenly, a Barn Owl swoops down out of the darkness and clutches the helpless animal
in its sharp talons! The owl was able to hear the tiny rodent with its excellent hearing, enhanced by its
asymmetrically placed ears which enabled it to pinpoint the animal’s exact location. It could fly in perfect
silence because of special feathers on its large wings. This is bad news indeed for the vole, but a happy
occurrence for the Barn Owl’s babies, who are back in the nest, waiting hungrily for their dinner. The Barn Owl
parents will hunt most of the night to provide enough food for their seemingly insatiable offspring. The growing
owlets consume the prey items that Mama and Papa Barn Owl supply greedily, swallowing them whole. Mama
Owl does not scold her children for poor table manners, because owls, like all birds, have no teeth, so are unable
to chew. After dinner, an interesting process occurs. The owls digest the meat, organs, and other soft parts of
their food, just like you do. All the parts they cannot digest, such as bones, teeth, and fur, are formed into a
small, compact mass called a pellet. A few hours after dining, the owl will regurgitate this pellet. After it falls to
the ground, it will be collected, sterilized, wrapped up in foil, and, along with other similarly prepared pellets,
shipped across the country to a school in New Jersey. There, curious sixth graders will break open the pellets
and painstakingly separate the tiny bones from the fur in order to identify the animals consumed.
Comments: Okay, I confess, I wrote that one. I needed one to show you something you have to be sure not to
do. While it does contain most of the requirements (missing the hypothesis), its problem is that it is too creative.
There are opportunities in science to write creatively, but unfortunately, a lab report is not one of them. You
have to maintain a formal, objective style. If you want to get creative, add a separate section at the end. You can
even write a poem about Barn Owls if you want! So this intro would get an 8 because of no hypothesis, and in
addition, the “writing style” section would be knocked down to a 7.
Sample Intro. #8:
Owl pellets may at first seem disgusting, but they are actually very interesting. Scientists and students can use
them to learn more about what owls eat. In this investigation, we dissected pellets from Barn Owls. Like all
owls, Barn Owls are great hunters, relying on their many adaptations to capture and kill mice, voles, rats,
shrews, and other small animals. Some of these adaptations are excellent sight and hearing to locate prey, silent
flight to sneak up on them, and sharp talons to capture them. After the owl eats its prey, the parts which cannot
be digested are regurgitated in a packet of bones and fur called a pellet. The purpose of this project was to
dissect an owl pellet in order to determine what the owl ate. I predicted I would find at least two voles or mice
in my pellet and maybe a shrew. This project was really fun and even though I thought it was gross in the
beginning, I enjoyed finding the bones inside.
Comments: I wrote this one, too, but I get lots of introductions every year that are very similar to this one. They
are mostly formal and objective, but their problem is they contain opinions, which I have underlined. Opinions
will prevent you from getting a perfect 10 on your introduction and will also knock off points in “writing style.”
Even though they don’t belong in the lab report itself, your opinions are valid and welcome. However, they
must be in a separate section. You can call this section “Reflections.”
Sample Intro #9:
The Barn Owl (Tyto alba), is a raptor, or bird of prey, that is often called “the farmer’s friend,” because it preys
on rodents such as voles and pocket gophers, which can eat the farmer’s crops. One family of barn owls can eat
thousands of rodents in a year! Due to its excellent sight and amazing hearing, this small owl with the
distinctive heart-shaped face is perfectly suited for hunting and killing, even in total darkness. After spotting its
dinner, the owl can sneak up on it since it has special feathers which allow it to fly in complete silence. After
the owl captures the animal with its sharp clawed feet, called talons, it swallows the animal whole. Later, the
owl will cough up the bones and fur and any other undigestible parts of the prey in a small oval-shaped package
called an owl pellet. Scientists are able to dissect the pellets in order to figure out what the Barn Owl eats. The
purpose of this investigation was to determine what kind of and how many prey animals the Barn Owl
consumed. My hypothesis before beginning the project was that my pellet would contain at least two or three
rodents, most likely voles.
Comments: Even though this introduction begins with a run-on sentence, I would give it 10 points. That is
because it contains all the required components plus additional information. Overall, the writing is pretty good
and there are no opinions in it.
Sample Intro #10:
Have you ever wondered what an owl pellet is? Well, an owl pellet is a small object made of fur and hair and
bones that is regurgitated by an owl. Since owls do not have any teeth, they swallow their prey whole. Their
digestive system separates the soft parts and the hard parts and the hard parts get made into a pellet that the owl
vomits up. We dissected owl pellets in science class to find out what the Barn Owl (Tyto alba) eats. Some of the
things that might be in an owl pellet are bones, fur, and maybe even feathers. Also, there could be straw or even
small twigs. The bones could be from a vole, mouse, mole, shrew, or a pocket gopher. The Barn Owl is a very
good predator and can easily catch these small types of animals. It can hear so well that it can hunt in complete
darkness and can fly in complete silence so the prey does not know it is coming. When the Barn Owl hunts, it
kills its prey with sharp claws called talons. Barn Owls are called that because they often live in barns.
Sometimes if there isn’t a barn they make their nests in hollow trees. Also, some people build Barn Owl nest
boxes because they like to have Barn Owls living nearby to keep the rodent population from getting too big.
Gardeners and farmers like Barn Owls a lot. According to last year’s class, they mostly found voles in their
pellets and most people had three prey animals, so my hypothesis is that I will find three voles in my pellet.
Comments: This one has all the required components, plus extra information, but it has a fatal flaw: it starts
with a question! NEVER start your lab report introduction (or your conclusion) with a question!! And NEVER
write “Well,” in any part of your lab report or formal scientific writing. This conversational way of writing is
too casual. Remember, a lab report’s style should be formal, objective, and scientific -- not opinionated, not
casual, not conversational. I would have to give this one a 9.5 and also knock at least one point (maybe two!)
off of the “Writing Style” section on the rubric.