Narrative Summary
Interview with Mary Bolan by Abby Price
“‘Religion’ is a bad word for me because religion implies institution, structure, rules, and people are in or out.
And that’s the biggest issue I have with Christianity.”—Mary Bolan
When she was three years old, Mary Bolan told the corner fire hydrant her deep
theological views about “how it did not make sense that God could be a loving God and let a
little girl, just like me, in Africa die and go to hell because she had never heard of Jesus.” Fortyfour years later, Mary is now a Disciples of Christ minister, and she hasn’t lost that passion for
challenging what is taught. She is a remarkable woman with an extensive story to tell about how
she came to where she is now.
Mary was born in Colorado in the 1960s. She’s proud to have been a New Year’s baby—
her mother got free diapers, and newborn Mary got her picture in the paper. Mary’s mom was a
homemaker and Mary’s father supported the family as a Disciples of Christ minister. Mary grew
up in a very religious household, and as she describes it, “I’ve never had a break from church
ever. Ever! I’ve always gone to church and I’ve always been really active in church.” This fact
still remains; Mary is the minister at a First Christian Disciples of Christ Church in Osceola,
Missouri. Compared to the “Jesus freak,” very conservative demeanor Mary held as a girl, her
attitude towards Christianity and what the church stood for has changed.
When Mary was in high school, one of her best friends came to her and confessed he was
gay. Mary reacted in the way she had been raised; she said, “We can pray for that to be
removed.” The two haven’t spoken since. Mary had been raised to believe things a certain way
and some of the teachings she had learned didn’t fit quite right in her mind. She began to heavily
question why things were the way they were, asking, why are gays condemned to hell? Why do
Christians refuse to see truth in any other religion? Mary went to college and worked toward a
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Bachelor of Science Education degree in German and history, and she still hung out with her
conservative, Christian friends, but she felt dissatisfied.
By the 2000s, Mary’s life changed drastically. She had gone through a divorce, had
graduated from then Southwest Missouri State University, and had raised her two children as a
single parent. When politics started heating up about the definition of marriage and whether or
not same-sex couples should be excluded from the right to marry, Mary stood alone in her
opinion. Her conservative friends didn’t understand her argument. Mary took it upon herself to
go to area churches and meet with ministers, asking them, “What does the Bible actually say
about sexuality? Where does this opinion come from [. . .] and how can I work this out?” The
responses she got varied greatly, but one piece of advice she got was from a Disciples minister
who encouraged her to go into seminary school so she could study this question and find her
answer.
Mary enrolled in Phillips Theological Seminary in Oklahoma and began the challenge of
becoming a minister. Her years at seminary were incredibly influential and eye opening. Mary
remembers being treated well in school although she was female. “In fact,” she says, “there’s a
bias towards women.” In one of the New Testament classes she took, she met Professor B. Scott,
a man who mentored her throughout school and into her career. She studied the texts given to her
and started to form her own answers to the questions she sought. Mary also started to really
notice the serious flaws in Christianity, she says, “When I was in seminary, I really just about
decided I was not a Christian but I was a minister of the Christian church [. . .] and I try to adapt
Christianity as best I can.” In the late 2000s, Mary accepted ordination, and began her full-time
job as the minister of First Christian Church.
Mary was no stranger to First Christian. She began supply preaching to pick up extra
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money about the same time she had started seminary. Her congregation stood by her as she
worked through school, and when she was ordained they offered her the permanent preaching
position; however, the offer didn’t come easily. First Christian is an old-school, patriarchal
church. Mary describes getting the job saying, “Well, when they first called me, they told me in
the initial meeting, they said, ‘You know, we met as a congregation to talk about what we
wanted in our minister. We all agreed we could not consider a woman, but we want you.’”
Mary accepted the job, but began to notice the subtle ways her gender impacted her job.
Members of the congregation sometimes mentioned they would have preferred a male minister,
and she was almost completely left out of a funeral for one of her parishioners.
One struggle Mary has encountered in her preaching doesn’t come from her gender, it
stems from her own personal theological beliefs. Her church is in a small town, and though
Mary’s views aren’t radical, she prefers to respect her congregation and preach the things they
need to hear, instead of preaching her own ideas. But recently, things have been changing. “I
decided to ask the congregation to ask me questions,” she said, “and I did a series of sermons
answering their questions. The first sermon I did with their questions was, ‘Do people who
commit suicide go to Hell?’” Mary was blown away by the things people wanted to know about;
topics included Heaven, Hell, suicides, and, of course, the infamous homosexuality question.
Mary was floored, she said:
That’s what got me into seminary in the first place, but I had never wanted to preach that
in that church because I thought that was my agenda throwing it on them [. . . .] But I
didn’t even know that people in that congregation were struggling with [that].
Mary is an ordained Disciples of Christ minister; however, she considerers herself to
have more of a Buddhist approach to life, and less of an evangelical Christian approach. She
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feels that being a good person and working to do good things will get a person into Heaven just
as quickly as saying a prayer for forgiveness will. She sees most of the Buddha’s teachings to be
about kindness and human compassion and, in an anecdote she shared about Buddha, it’s easy to
see why a person such as Mary would find likeness:
And he [Buddha] in fact gave one of his most famous teachings, and his right hand
monk—that one that’s—whose the strongest monk, whatever. He turned to that monk
right after he gave a teaching and he said, “Did you believe what I just said?” He said,
“No ,Master, I don’t.” And he said, “Good.” I mean, you are supposed to question
everything and find it out for yourself, and find out the truth for yourself in meditation.
Not because Buddha tells you this is how it is and you just accept that.
Although Mary says she would never fully become a Buddhist since breaking away from
Christianity would be too big of a blow to her family, she did say that it is something she will
continue to learn about.
Mary Bolan stands as an inspiration for anyone, religious or not, because she has dared to
challenge what she is told and refuses to settle for an answer that doesn’t make sense. In today’s
society it is very rare that someone will admit that they don’t know what to believe, or that they
are unsure if what they were taught is true. Mary cheerfully acknowledges her “rebellion against
Christianity,” and looks forward to what the future holds. She is proud to be the minister of First
Christian Church, but she admits that she doesn’t necessarily belong there. Instead of staying in a
position where she’s unhappy, just because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do, Mary is
choosing to continue to find the answers to the questions she has.
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