October 20, 2013
THE MYSTERY OF MARRIGE
CLASS #6
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ
SHAME IN THE CHURCH
Shame is often a hindrance to a frank and edifying discussion of sexuality.
Shame can be healthy, and shame can be sinful
Culture is shameless-While the church overreacts with timidity for fear of
Violating Paul’s command that:
“It is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret” (Eph. 5:12)
You See: Proper shame can easily morph into improper embarrassment and an unhealthy
reticence to apply the whole counsel of God to an issue of paramount significance. Dr. Al
Mohler helpfully reminds the church:
“Christians have no right to be embarrassed when it comes to talking about sex and
sexuality. An unhealthy reticence or embarrassment in dealing with these issues is a form of
disrespect to God’s creation. Whatever God made is good, and every good thing God made has
an intended purpose that ultimately reveals His own glory. When conservative Christians
respond to sex with ambivalence or embarrassment, we slander the goodness of God and hide
God’s glory which is intended to be revealed in the right use of creation’s gifts.”
WORLDVIEW NEEDED:
Christians need to cultivate a worldview built around the proposition that God created us to be
sexual beings with the ultimate purpose of demonstrating the dynamic and cosmic love
between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Our calling is to set forth a biblical theology that takes
seriously the gracious prescriptions and the gracious prohibitions of our loving creator when it
comes to sex.
Peter Kreeft said, “Sex is like religion because it is objectively holy in itself but also because it
gives us subjectively a foretaste of heaven, of the self-forgetting, self-transcending self-giving
that is what our deepest hearts are designed for, long for and will not be satisfied until they
have, because we are made in God’s image and this self-giving constitutes the inner life of the
Trinity.”
2.
THE GLORY OF SEX
Sex is glorious- we would know that even if we didn’t have the bible
Sex leads to words of adoration- it literally evokes shouts of ecstasy and praise!
Through the bible, we know why this is true: John 17 tells us…
That from all eternity, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have been adoring and glorifying
each other, living in high devotion to each other, pouring love and joy into one another’s hearts
continually.
Sex between a man and a woman points to the love between the Father and the Son
It is a reflection of the joyous self-giving and pleasure of love within- triune God
Sex is glorious because it points to the eternal delight of soul that we will have in our
loving relationships in heaven, in our loving relationships with God and one another. Romans
7:1 tells us that the best marriages are pointers to the deep, infinitely fulfilling, and final union
we will have with Christ in love.
NO WONDER:
Mike Mason said, “Sex between a man and a woman can be a sort of embodied out-ofbody experience. It’s the most ecstatic, breathtaking, daring, scarcely-to-be-imagined look at
the glory that is our future.” (If God could conjure up the splendor of sex for our pleasure just
think what might be in store for us in heaven!)
SEX AND THE SUPREMACY OF CHRIST
By John Piper
(Recommended Reading!)
John Piper, in his book, explores the relationship of God and sex by suggesting two
simple but weighty points. First, that sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God in
Christ more fully; and secondly that knowing God in Christ more fully is designed as a way of
guarding and guiding our sexuality.
3.
FIRES BELONG IN “FIRE PLACES”!
Fire outside the fireplace will destroy everything
Fireplace specially designed to contain the fire productively
“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?” (Pr.6:27)
Marriage is the only natural condition for the pleasure of sex
God limits sex within monogamous marriage
We must abstain from sexual impurity (1Thes. 4:3) or suffer loss of:
Health- Relationships- Reputations- Eternal Destinies
SONG OF SOLOMAN- The Joy of a Roaring Fire!
There are very few clues in the bible as to whether sex should be fun
Song of Solomon fills this gap: it says that along with having children, sex is for pleasure,
joy, communion, and celebration. Pregnancy is not even mentioned. It paints a very beautiful
picture of what redeemed sex looks like.
Karl Barth said the tone of the book is “Eros without shame.” He described SOS as a poetic
commentary on Genesis2:25: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame”
(NIV). If they didn’t feel shame, what did they feel? The Song of Solomon gives the answer.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THEY FELT:
1:2 “Kiss me again and again, for your love is sweeter than wine.”
One of the most memorable opening lines in the bible- Compare to Gen/ Jn1:1
Smother me with kisses- strong erotic connotations as in caresses in love making
He leaves her feeling more euphoric, headier, more “buzzed” that wine!
1:9 “I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh.”
In the midst of her deprecating her physical beauty-he strongly disagrees!
No mares in Pharaohs cavalry! Would stir pandemonium of sexual excitement
4.
2:3-7 “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I
delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet
hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins; refresh me with apples for I am
faint with love. His left hand is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. Daughters of
Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken
love until it so desires.”
Apples and raisins are all ancient erotic symbols- but he is the real thing!
Banquet house= house of wine- a symbol of the ecstasy of lovemaking
Banner= military term- the ferocity of love- swept up under passion & protection
Calls for restraint=The exp. of lovemaking too powerful- until one is committed!
He waxes eloquent with a flurry of metaphors and similes to stimulate imagination
Breasts like grape clusters? A navel like a goblet of wine? Thighs as finely shaped as jewels?
His abdomen is like a polished ivory tusk, decorated with sapphires? Is this really in the bible,
the word of God? It really is! How wholesome and richly erotic sex can be when enjoyed in
the ways and within the context God intended.
SOME SCRIPTUAL WISDOM ON SEX AND MARRIGE
1. SEX IS GOOD! SHOULD BE EXPERIENCED FREQUENTLY
1Cor. 7:5 “Do not deprive one another… except perhaps by agreement.”
Pr. 5:19 “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.”
SOS 4:16 “Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its choice fruits.”
2. THE ONLY LASTING PLEASURE IS GIVING PLEASURE
When you reach a point where giving arousal is the most arousing thing- then you are
understanding what gospel reenactment is!
5.
This solves the frequency problem. If one person has a greater need… the less needy can
give the other person a gift.
1Cor. 7:3-5 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her
husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same
way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Therefore, do not
deprive each other except by mutual consent.”
“I’m too tired to participate- please feel free to jump my bones.”
The “garden gate” should always be open- If it is- it relieves the pressure
3. THE CONTEXT FOR SEX DIFFERS WITH MEN & WOMEN
MEN: Context means little= Anytime-Anywhere! (Exceptions)
WOMEN: Context means preparing for sex emotionally
Warmth- Conversation and Patience
4. SEX CAN BE A TEST OF THE RELATIONSHIP’S “TEMP”
Problems can “show up in bed”
Guilt, fear or anger from past relationships
Mistrust, disrespect, or unresolved differences in your present relationship
With sex- you can’t sweep problems under the rug
Unless your marital rel. is in good condition, sex doesn’t work
Sexual incompatibility may be a sign of a deeper problem
LEWIS SMEADS-“you don’t marry one woman or one man but many. Time, children, illness, and
age all bring changes that may require creative, disciplined responses to rebuild a sexual
intimacy that was easier at a earlier time. If you don’t confront and adapt to these changes,
they’ll erode your sex life.”
Sex in a marriage is like oil in an engine- without it, the friction between all the moving parts
will burn out the motor. Without joyful, loving sex, the friction in marriage will bring about
anger, resentment, hardness, and disappointment. Rather than being the commitment glue
that holds you together, it can become a force to divide you. Never give up working on your sex
life!
6.
than being the commitment glue that holds you together, it can become a force to divide you.
Never give up working on your sex life!
6. THE EXPULSIVE POWER OF A HEALTHY SEX LIFE
Sex with your covenantal best friend- there is nothing like it!
Healthy, frequent sex will eliminate the temptation to pornography
Ladies: you can make a huge impact in this area
Pornography is pleasure without context- nothing relational
7. SEX HAS VARIETY!
The marriage bed is undefiled- the sky is the limit
Invite variety into the marriage bed:
Appetizer- Quickie
Main Course- Standard love making
Gourmet- Long wonderful evening building slowly towards great sex