Matt Mascarenas
Spring 2011
Holloway
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I’ve been on and off the road with my band for the greater part of the past few years. We’ve been touring full time and to the point where the band can sustain itself, but profits are few and far between, but we are paid something so much more; experience . It’s not in our budget to pay a merch guy, but we rarely have a shortage of friends that are willing to quit their jobs or take a semester off of school to jump in the van and travel the stretched roads of America in exchange for selling t-shirts and cds.
One of the best parts of traveling in a punk / indie band is the communal settings.
Everything is done yourself and the interactions you have with people are much more personal than mainstream concerts. Typically, you’re playing in a small venue, bar, basement, bookstore, coffee shop, etc, and there’s always someone that is willing to make you dinner, give you a place to crash, and show you an all around good time.
What really attracted me to this nature is the importance on politically correctness and generally trying to do something good for the community and planet in general.
Outside of playing six strings in basements across the country, these kids in the “punk

Mascarenas 2 rock scene” take their fight into real life by supporting Food Not Bombs, volunteering, protesting, raising money, and the subject that hits home: promoting equality.
We had three months of touring planned at the start of 2010. We knew that we weren’t up to also dealing with merch sales, so we brought along our friend Steven “Dio”
Corbett to do merch for us. He’s a 20 year old who works full time, lives in Kaysville, and is gay. You would never tell by just looking at him. He doesn’t flaunt the generic flamboyant look like the stereotype sales. He’s 5”7’, band shirt, cut off shorts, and gauged ears and faces no problem fitting in with the social norms of the scene. The

Mascarenas 3 catch is that he is gay and has known since he was a small boy. His family has always been open to it and treated him like all the other kids. The real problems were faced at school with his peers. Some didn’t have such an easy time adjusting to his sexual stance growing up. A lot of it was because they just didn’t understand. It was foreign to them. But as he started getting older and the bonds with his friends got stronger, it wasn’t much of a problem. The problem still lied in the new relationships.
Being from Utah and being gay isn’t easy. Let’s face it; we live in one of the narrowest minded cities this country has to offer. Salt Lake City is based around one basic lifestyle and it has made it a struggle for those who live differently. This difference is what helped push Dio into the punk rock scene. Here he was able to feel at ease with himself, enjoy music and literature, meet like-minded people, and ultimately be himself. Keep in mind; this is a scene that prides themselves on change and revolution for the greater good. This is a scene that is supposed to share a free thinking and open mind to all that come in. This scene is based on hypocrisy.

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It’s taught me to take my life into my own hands, celebrate and embrace who I am,
This scene changed my life and has had a huge impact on which I’ve become. make a positive difference, and do it all with passion. It wasn’t until this tour that I saw the flaws my surroundings.
Having Dio on this tour really made gay / lesbian / transgendered rights really hit home. It wasn’t until then that I noticed how many horrible and offensive things are said daily without any thought put into them. The words gay and faggot stuck out like a knife being pushed in my stomach. I could see the heartbreak on Dio’s face every time he heard it. He wouldn’t say anything. He wouldn’t them know he was gay, he just took it in. You could see that words like that word strike an unsettling vein in him. It linked to all the trials and tribulations he dealt with at home growing up now he had to deal with them on the road as well.

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This random slang that also had the power to ruin someone’s day and make them feel horrible was too much at times. We would say something about gay rights every show and kids were really accepting about it. They would clap and talk to us about it at the show. After all that, the same kids were saying such horrible lines like, “oh you liked that movie? You’re a faggot.” “oh man, you’re gay.” And while those don’t seem like phrases that will end the world, it’s enough to damage someone permanently. There were times on that tour when Dio would come up to me and say, “Listen, I appreciate what you are doing, but you don’t need to feel like you have to say those things about gay rights during your set. I’ll be fine.” and it would blow my mind that he would just take it. I asked him about it and he stated how tired he was of having to defend himself his whole life. “There is no justifiable reason for me to beg people to understand me.
As much as I’d like it, it’s a dead end road and I just don’t have it in me to do it

Mascarenas 6 anymore.” Dio would say. There were also nights in the van when he would tell me about how suicide didn’t seem like a bad idea at a few points of his life. This was absolutely devastating. I couldn’t believe that a problem that is so easily hidden under a rug has such a great impact on people that fall victim. Here I am, making an all night drive to Cleveland and my new friend Dio is telling me that the thought of suicide is no stranger to him.
There’s not a single word that can be said to me to change my mind about how big of a deal these gay rights campaigns are. There is no justifiable reason that anyone should feel less about themselves because they live a lifestyle not of their choosing that isn’t the predominant one. I refuse to stand by as another life is taken because of such ignorance. I will never stand silent after spending three months in a

Mascarenas 7 van with someone that struggled with these problems daily. Even more than that, I won’t stand quiet to an underground community that promotes one idea, but doesn’t follow through with them. This is a humanitarian issue that cannot be overlooked anymore. This is bigger than statistics, bigger than a political stance, bigger than a campaign, and even if it’s just my friend Dio, it’s big enough to give him the respect he deserves. No life should be announced as “not as important” because of a unique way of living.
I become more and more angry that something like this is even an issue.
It’s 2011 and the only steps we seem to be taking are backwards. We are a civilization based on running in circles and progression is few and far between.
The day where we can treat each other equally and move on to fixing bigger issues needs to come quick or I’m afraid we’ll get stuck in our ways of digging ourselves deeper and deeper into the ground.

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Works Cited
George Frey “U.S. gay rights leaders head to Utah, protest Mormon views” – USA
Today October 8 , 2010. Web. March 24, 2011. http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2010-10-09-utah08_ST_N.htm
Walter Hussman “Suicide in Little Rock” Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
GLAADALERT February 6, 1998 Web. March 24, 2011. http://www.soulforce.org/article/653
Brad Harrub, Ph.D. and Bert Thomps on, Ph.D. and Dave Miller, Ph.D. ““This is the
Way God Made Me” - Apologetics Press October, 2010 Web. March 24, 2011 http://www.trueorigin.org/gaygene01.asp