Analysis of a Good Essay
The following points demonstrate why this essay received a 6/6 on the provincial exam.
1.
A great title
First impressions count. Very few students title their work; much less give it creative thought. The title in this case is a pun which plays
upon multiple meanings of “uprooting.”
2.
Balance
The introduction and conclusion are fairly balanced in length—six and five lines of type, respectively. They are also roughly half of the
length of the body paragraphs, which are 9-10 lines of type long. This gives a nice balance to the paper. Each paragraph seems to be well
developed; there is no weak paragraph.
3.
A solid thesis
The final sentence of the introduction mentions the protagonist being parted from “physical heirlooms and beloved friends.” The two body
paragraphs are indeed about these two groupings.
4.
Good hooks
Quotations are used as hooks in the introduction and body paragraphs. Notice the appropriateness of the body paragraph quotations. The
one about leaving behind physical heirlooms reads “These objects had become as inseparable as their own hands,” while the one about
leaving friends reads that Elizabeth “reasoned that you could not take friends with you.” The quotations are appropriate and on target for
the content of the paragraphs.
5.
Well-supported statements
Notice that a pattern emerges in the body paragraphs. A statement is made; evidence from the story is given, in the form of integrated
quotations; those quotations are discussed. This ensures that the essay is neither pure opinion nor a list of quotations; it is a balance of
evidence and argument.
6.
Varied syntax (sentence structures) and vocabulary
Sentence lengths and styles are varied, and sophisticated vocabulary is present throughout the paper (“heirlooms,” “conveyed,”
“alienation,” “remoteness,” “components constitute” …). This is a writer who reads.
7.
Good use of transition
Transitions help the reader see the connections between the points: “Initially,”
“At first,” “…is intensified as,” “Finally,” “Thus,” “On one hand,” “Most importantly,” “In this way,” “Together.”
8.
A quick opening and concluding line
It is effective to begin and end with a short line, and I often recommend that, as much as possible, writers try to do that in 10 words or
fewer. Notice that the opening quotation here is 8 words long, and the final line is nine words long. Again, it adds to the balance of the
paper.
The “Uprooting” of Values
“What she experienced was the sense of separation.” In the short story “The Uprooting,” by Dorothy
Livesay, this emotional and physical separation is represented by the story’s title, which literally refers to the
parting of a plant from the basis of its existence. By describing the emotions of the protagonist as she is parted
from both physical heirlooms and beloved friends, the author creates, in a figurative sense, the feeling of an
“uprooting” of values.
“These objects had become as inseparable as their own hands.” Initially, throughout the scene of the family
packing up to move, the sense of physical “uprooting” is conveyed. At first, as the family returns to their house,
they notice the “changes inside the house,” and realize that “it [can] never be the same.” This sense of alienation
from the home that was a haven to Elizabeth, the protagonist, is intensified as the removal of objects leaves the
house “dismantled,” the packing of books and old toys providing further remoteness from the comfort of
childhood memories. Finally, the dollhouse, considered by Elizabeth and her sister Sue as a symbol of “their life in
the larger house,” is given a ticket marked “Toronto,” signaling the shifting of countless material possessions—so
important to the family—from one place to another.
“Elizabeth, anguished, apprehended rather than reasoned that you could not take people with you.” Thus,
the emotional sense of separation, from parting with friends to becoming independent, is evident. On one hand,
Elizabeth has already begun to feel separate from her friend Peggy, who “[has] changed.” However, Peggy and
Elizabeth’s other friends come to say goodbye, making their initial distance—between youthfulness and maturity—
meaningless, while increasing the significance of the actual parting. Most importantly, Elizabeth, leaving Aunt
Maudie, who “[has] been like a mother,” must finally cope with the notion of becoming independent. Leaving the
roots of her former life, Elizabeth must prepare to grow alone.
In this way, the title, “The Uprooting,” symbolizes Elizabeth’s sense of separation from both physical and
emotional values in life. Elizabeth states that it isn’t “Peggy, nor Rita, nor Aunt Maudie, nor the street itself, nor the
little white clapboard house” that she misses. Together, however, these components constitute the most treasured
part of her life. The loss of values is the seed of her “uprooting.”