My Search for Phebe Weed’s Parents
by Amy L. Breedlove © 9 Sep 2013
Phebe Crabb nee Weed was my great, great, great grandmother on my father’s maternal side.
She was born in 1797 in Stamford, CT; married in 1830 in Stamford, and died in 1900 in
Norwalk, CT. My great aunt Edna in about 1950 wrote down all she knew about her family.
Her “genealogy” said Phebe’s mom and dad were William and Sally Weed and that Phebe had 6
brothers and sisters. Edna listed their names and birthdays between 1793 and 1805, who they
married and most of the names of their kids and grandkids.
Several years ago I started looking for William Weed marrying a Sally x in the Barbour books starting with the Stamford volume and then moving on to nearby towns - Darien, Norwalk, New
Canaan, etc. Based on Phebe’s and the birthdays for her siblings listed by Edna, I used an initial
marriage date range of 1786-1796. I found no William marrying a Sally/Sarah in an even
remotely appropriate time frame. I also looked at the censuses - no William Weeds were listed at
roughly a right age or with even a close number of family members. I did searches in books and
on the web for wedding, baptism, gravesite, etc info for Phebe and/or William and Sally with
absolutely no luck. I found nothing in newspapers, tax records, wills, probate cases, cemeteries,
or church records that I could find online. Basically I was at a dead end.
Then in 2012, while looking for information about Phebe, I found a reference to her obituary on
ancestry.com. While it was just a short mention of her death, I found a comment from a woman
who is a relative of one of Phebe’s siblings referring to an article done on Phebe’s 100th birthday
quoting Phebe saying her parents were Ebenezer Weed and Elizabeth Curtis. Say what?!
So I went back to Barbour, Huntington, and other marriage records for CT. I found lots of
Ebenezer Weeds and even some of their parents and siblings, and even a few that might have
been mine, but none were married to Elizabeth Curtis (or a Betty, Eliza, or any Curtis). I found
lots of Curtis’ and even an Elizabeth Curtis in the right time frame and her parents and her
grandparents, but none were married to an Ebenezer Weed. I looked at the 1790-1850 censuses.
There were lots of Ebenezer Weeds but nothing close enough to be firm and nothing in the 1850
census. I looked everywhere I could on-line with no luck. Again, I was at a dead end.
Then in Dec 2012 I went to the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. I’d decided to look in
microfilmed sources that weren’t on the web for Stamford and nearby CT and even nearby NY.
Looking through all CT and NY newspapers I saw no marriage for Ebenezer and Elizabeth. I did
find the notice of Phebe marrying her husband David M. Crabb.
I looked at filmed original church records for Stamford, New Canaan, Darien, Norwalk CT, and
Pound Ridge NY. I found records for the North Stamford Congregational Church [founded
1782] and Stamford’s 1st Congregational Church [founded in the 1640’s] as well as other
Methodist, Episcopal and Catholic records. I went through them page by page and found many
references to Ebenezer Weed, Ebenezer and his wife, Ebenezer and his wife Hannah, etc. at
communion, being present, getting dismissed, joining, being buried, as well as baptisms of kids;
unfortunately none of them looked like the proof I needed, but I wrote them down anyway. I
discovered that Ebenezer’s parents had belonged to the First Congregational Church of Stamford
at the same time that Elizabeth’s parents had, and then later his parents switched to the North
Stamford Congregational Church when it opened. So maybe Ebenezer and Elizabeth met at
church?
I did find one reference to an Ebenezer Weed and his wife Elizabeth joining the North Stamford
Congregational Church in 1815 and a baptism record for William, Sally, and Charles Weed the
same day. Hey! Those were 3 of Phebe’s siblings; but, this was in1815 and they were supposed
to be born in the mid 1790’s. Wouldn’t that be kind of late to be baptised? Regardless, I hung
onto that record as being the best thing I had. In 1842 in records for Stamford’s 1st
Congregational Church, I found mention of Phebe Crabb joining the church. Hmmm, that was
Phebe’s married name, but it didn’t mention a husband or parents. Nevertheless, I wrote it down.
In the church records I also found references to many Ebenezer Weeds dying at various times
(but no other information was provided to tie them to anyone). Again, I wrote it all down.
In the town minutes and other town records, I found mention of various Ebenezers doing various
things - surveys, school board member, Keeper of the Pound, etc. They were called Ebenezer
Weed, Ebenezer Weed Jr, Ebenezer Weed Sr, Ebenezer Weed III, Lt Ebenezer Weed, and even a
Neazer Weed. Only a few had specific dates and since many of these guys lived at the same time
in the same town, it was very hard to tell who was whom. Still, I wrote it all down.
Back home, I started creating tables with all the information I’d gathered. The purpose was to
try and link people I’d found to specific family groups. It helped, a bit, by eliminating a few of
the Ebenezer’s, but in the end, it only showed I still had at least 3 candidates for my Ebenezer. I
did have one North Stamford church record for a Neazer Weed dying in 1845 and there was an
Ebenezer Weed born in 1766 who didn’t seem to be tied to anyone else, so I took those and used
them as a time period to work with. There were a couple of other Ebenezer’s dying in 1843 and
later, but I was able to tie them to other families.
My next step was to go to find-a-grave, again, and see what I could find. Once more I found lots
of Ebenezers; some I already knew about, others I was able to match up to other families. In one
cemetery I found an Ebenezer Weed dying Sep 22, 1845 on one tombstone with no other info
and an Elizabeth Weed dying 1860 with no other info. In the text for yet another Ebenezer Weed
who died in 1845, it said he was the husband of Elizabeth Curtis and listed a few of their kids.
Hmmm, the info wasn’t on the tombstone and there were no sources shown, but it was written by
a woman who lived in the area, so maybe she knew something she just didn’t spell out. Later I
found Phebe Weed Crabbe and David Merritt Crabbe in the same cemetery. This looked a little
more promising since families are sometimes buried together/near each other. So, at least I had
some circumstantial evidence that Ebenezer and Elizabeth were a couple, but I wanted more.
In May 2013 I finally went to Connecticut. I started out at the Stamford Historical Society.
Being in the neighborhood where these folks lived, I hoped I would find something local that
didn’t get forwarded up the government pipeline, or to a larger newspaper. Their website said
they had newspapers (clippings of some marriages and deaths but none of them were my guys),
books, papers, etc. so it seemed like a good place to start. The Society folks were very helpful
and did have the 100th birthday article which I got a copy of. It mentions Ebenezer Weed and
Elizabeth Curtis as her parents, but it also mentions sister Sally is 93 (okay in 1897 that means
born in 1804, NOT the 1795 Edna had said), and it confirmed those 1815 and 1842 church
membership dates for Phebe that I had found while at Salt Lake. It also noted several nieces and
nephews, some sporting the names Great Aunt Edna had mentioned. Hey, maybe I am on the
right track. I also found a hand drawn layout of the North Stamford Cemetery tombstones and it
showed Ebenezer, Elizabeth, Phebe, David M, Jacob and his wife Zetta (Phebe’s brother and his
wife) and a few other close relatives all buried next to/near each other. Yee haw! This is a very
good sign. I also went through Edith Wick’s files held at the Society, which were AMAZING,
but they didn’t have anything specifically on Ebenezer or Elizabeth. But she created wonderful
lists for each individual mentioned in the local land records and where they appeared. She even
described them; i.e., grantor, grantee, bounder, potential relationships, etc. This was GREAT,
but wait, the records were supposed to be in the Town Clerk’s office and I was out of time and
had to leave for Hartford. Rats! Obviously another trip is needed.
While in Hartford I visited cousins and gave them the copy of the 100th birthday article I had
gotten at the Historical Society. They hadn’t seen the article BUT they had seen the silver loving
cup mentioned in the article and knew that another cousin had it. Since then that cousin has sent
me a picture of it and the engraved text on it. Lovely!
After that, it was off to the State Library for several days of reading microfilm, Hale’s card
indexes, and vertical file information. I started with those Wick’s land record lists and, luckily,
the Library had films of the original records. Unfortunately most dealt with other Weeds, not my
Ebenezer and Elizabeth. However, I did find some on Elizabeth’s parents which extended her
Dad’s life from the previously thought 1767 to after 1789 and verified his wife’s name. I ran out
of time before getting to the newspaper room, but after looking in their online catalog at home, I
hadn’t found many early newspapers in their collection that covered my time period. I also
didn’t get to the actual archival material, but again there hadn’t been much listed in the catalog.
But still, another trip to Connecticut is obviously in order.
Once home, I put the information I had found into my tables, filled in more family gaps, found
some online Weed genealogies that don’t have (mostly) my guys and started looking for more
information on Phebe’s brothers and sisters to try and determine if the baptism record in 1815 of
William, Sally and Charles could be correct.
According to Great Aunt Edna, Phebe’s parents married in 1793 and had 7 children: Sally Weed
b. 1795. actually 1804 and really Sarah; Phebe b. 1797, correct; Rebecca b. 1799, correct; Jacob
b. 1801, actually 1795; Hannah b. 1803, well 1802; William b. 1805, actually 1810; and Charles
b. 1807, seems to be correct. So it really went: Jacob 1795; Phebe 1797; Rebecca 1799; Hannah
1802; Sally 1804; Charles 1807; and William 1810. As a result, a few censuses make more
sense and with the 3 youngest now being Sally 11, Charles 8 and William 5, that 1815 baptism
date seems more reasonable. Also, the family switched churches from North Stamford
Congregational to the Stamford First Congregational the same day the 3 kids were baptized.
So, while there’s lots more to look for in my search for more definitive information, I’m pretty
convinced that Ebenezer Weed and Elizabeth Curtis were the parents of Phebe Weed Crabb.
Some of the sources used:
Stamford Advocate, Vol 68, No. 50, Aug 5, 1897, pg 1 “One Hundred Years Old.”
Abstracts of Church Records of Town of Stamford, including North Stamford Congregational
Church and the 1st Congregational Church of Stamford, contained on Family History Library
(FHL) Roll 5591, also FHL roll 899,936, also CT State Lib roll #364; FHL Roll 5561, CT State
Lib Roll #364, and FHL Roll 5589.
Hale Newspaper Marriage and Death Notices, Vol 59. [index card file at CT State Library]
“Marriage Notices in Stamford Advocate”, Oct 26, 1830, pg. 3 (on FHL roll3283) [Phebe and
David Crabb’s marriage]
1800, 1810 and 1830 US Censuses for Stamford, Fairfield Co., CT,
L. B. Barbour Collection of Connecticut Vital Records, Stamford, volume 1and many others.
Genealogical References in Stamford Land Records, Vol A-S, 1666-1800+, and abstracted by
Edith M. Wicks. Edited by Robert Spiers, published by CT Ancestry Society Inc. 1999 [I also
used her original working papers at the Stamford Historical Society]
CT State Library microfilms of Stamford Land Records from will and deed books,
Book/Volumes F, H, I, L and others.
North Stamford Cemetery gravestones for Ebenezer Weed and Elizabeth Weed; Cemetery layout
of North Stamford Cemetery 418-16 “Copied from tombstones by Kenneth Larleum [sp?], on
Nov 9, 1931”, a WPA Project; North Stamford Cemetery 418-15/16 done by Barbara Kaye and
William Eardley; and, Connecticut Death and Burials Index 1650-1934 (from ancestry.com) [for
Elizabeth, mentions spouse Ebenezer Weed]