A.
Type of story

These press releases are about… fictional events at the university featuring an increase in minority enrollment and a professor’s new book about the truths of testing. o Key story elements include a news release, a feature release, an email pitch for each release and clever headlines. o Techniques include the GOT-M (goals, objectives, target publics, messages), the FORK method for blocking sources and varying sentence length to keep reader engaged.
B.
Focus/theme of the story

The news release focuses on the growth in minority enrollment at the university and its stance within minority rankings. The feature release focuses on a professor’s new book about the truth of testing.
C.
News values/qualities

These releases have the news value of impact because of their importance to the university community. The news release specifically affects the minority population at the university. The releases also have a news value of timeliness because of their timing. For the news release, an increase in minority is fairly recent. For the feature release, the professor is teasing his soon-to-released book.
D.
Target audiences/publics

Both releases target the academic community – both at Maryland and nationwide.

The news release focuses more on current students, prospective students, faculty, parents and the entire college community.

The feature release focuses more toward students (college and non-college alike), parents, law enforcement officials and people within the psychology field.
###

1.
Compare readability
News First Attempt News Rewrite
180
17.5
1.0
0%
12.0
WCT
WPS
SPP
PV%
GL
167
16.9
1.2
0%
12.0
Feature First Attempt
283
25.4
1.4
0%
12.0
WCT
WPS
SPP
PV%
GL
Feature Rewrite
293
17.0
1.9
0%
12.0
2.
Cut needless words

Cut 43 words, about 10% percent of original word count o Eliminated use “quick facts” sentences and replaced with a table.
o Retooled release titles to better reflect information presented in releases.
o Moved university contact information to correct location.
3.
Contribute better words, phrases, construction, content, detail
 Reinforced my lead (news release) to incorporate “8.7 percent” statistic.

Included a subhead in my feature release to break up information and keep reader engaged.

I added stronger verbs and descriptors to releases.

Incorporated appropriate links at the end of each release.
4.
Clean up

GSPS o I fixed errors in titles of releases.
o Fixed AP style regarding phone numbers.
o I cut down on sentence length and focused on varying sentences to keep reader engaged.
(more)

Simanin (WR# 7), A#5 Five C’s, 2

W/R-ed o I reworded sentence structure to eliminate any awkward sentences.
o Incorporated new details in my email pitches to convince
Diamondback editor.
o I transposed attributions.
5.
Collaborate
 Because of Professor Toth’s and my TA’s feedback, I incorporated a statistic in my news release lead.

Incorporated Professor Toth’s feedback to transpose attributions and fix
AP style for phone numbers.
 With TA’s feedback, I eliminated unnecessary details in email pitches.
 Included Professor Toth’s suggestion to create a table for minority enrollment statistics.
###

Office of University Communications
2101 Turner Hall
College Park, MD, 20742
NEWS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Nov. 14, 2014
CONTACT: Ilan Simanin, isimanin@umd.edu, 240-499-4035
MINORITY ENROLLMENT INCREASES 8.7 PERCENT AT UNIVERSITY OF
MARYLAND
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – A new report from the University of Maryland reveals an 8.7 percent increase in minority enrollment for fall semester.
“The increase in minority students is a gratifying sight for the many students, faculty and administrations who have worked for it,” Chancellor William E. Kirwan said.
The university, now boasting more than 1,700 minority students, is taking significant steps in creating a more diverse student body. Overall campus enrollment, however, fared worse with less than a one percent increase.
“Our many efforts of recent years are beginning to produce the desired results,”
President Wallace Loh said.
Quick Facts: Minority Enrollment Statistics
Race/Ethnicity
African American
Asian American
American Indian
2013-2014 2014-2015 Growth
644
519
158
678
565
204
5%
8%
22%
Hispanic 424 452 6%

Student enrollment for American Indian population showed the largest growth with an increase of 46 students; bringing the total to 204.
More Information
For a full breakdown of student enrollment numbers, visit UMD’s Office of
Diversity and Inclusion website at: http://diversity.umd.edu
.
###

Office of University Communications
2101 Turner Hall
College Park, MD, 20742
NEWS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Nov. 14, 2014
CONTACT: Ilan Simanin, isimanin@umd.edu, 240-499-4035
UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR EXPOSES CONSEQUENCES OF TESTING
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – Television and video games might not be alone in scrambling the minds of youth today.
Testing predicting behavior or aptitude can have unintended and undesirable consequences on American society according to a new book by anthropology Professor
F. Allan Hanson in the University of Maryland College of Behavioral and Social
Sciences.
The book, “Testing Testing: Social Consequences of the Examined Life,” reveals the hidden consequences of tests on American society.
“The American preoccupation with testing has resulted in a panoply of techniques dedicated to scanning, probing, weighing, perusing and recording every last detail of our personal traits and life experiences,” Hanson says. “Decisions are made about people not on the basis of what they have done, or even what they certainly will do, but in terms of what they might do.”
The book, published by University of California Press and available through local bookstores, uncovers a variety of concerns for tests commonly used in business and education. Hanson reveals many employers use drug testing and integrity testing to screen applicants and monitor employees while academic institutions use testing for admissions and student performance.
(more)

Simanin (WR# 7), A#5 Book, 2
How tests can read people
Studies show tests provide valuable information about people. Tests serve as devices of power for agencies – employers, educational administrators, insurances firms, law enforcement agencies – to determine whom to employ, to admit to college to take on as a risk or to arrest.
Hanson’s book examines all forms of testing and concludes, “People are examined and evaluated less for qualifications or knowledge they already possess than for what the test results can predict about future actions or potential behavior.”
For more information, contact the Office of the Dean of the College of Behavioral and Social Sciences: bsos@umd.edu, 301-405-1679 or preview Hanson’s book: http://hansontest.umd.edu
.
###

TO: Laura Blasey – News Editor, The Diamondback, newsumdbk@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Minority Comeback: Here’s How They’re Doing It
Ms. Blasey:
I’m contacting The Diamondback because
I am working with the university in spreading exciting news regarding student enrollment.
According to the University of Maryland’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion, the university’s minority student enrollment increased 8.7 percent for fall semester. I am pleased to inform you that of the 24,500 students at the university, 7.8 percent come from minority backgrounds.
With the University of Maryland’s continued climb in performance, its minority enrollment grew tremendously for fall semester. Though overall university enrollment grew less than one percent, minorities saw enormous growth.
University officials within administration as well as university President Wallace Loh are great contenders for interviews both for video and text. I’d be happy to arrange an interview between the Diamondback and the following university staff to discuss the increase in minority enrollment:

Kumea Shorter-Gooden Ph.D., Chief Diversity Officer and Associate Vice
President, Office of Diversity and Inclusion, 301-405-2841

Wallace Loh, Ph.D. President, University of Maryland, 301-314-8385
Please don’t hesitate to contact me at isimanin@umd.edu for more information and follow up for interviews.
Best,
Ilan Simanin isimanin@umd.edu, 240-499-4035
PRESS RELEASE: http://www.bit.ly/847db
###
[PASTED PRESS RELEASE HERE]

TO: Laura Blasey – News Editor, The Diamondback, newsumdbk@gmail.com
SUBJECT: The Dirty Side to Tests: UMD Prof. Uncovers Truth
Ms. Blasey:
I’m contacting The Diamondback because
I am working with the university in spreading exciting news regarding Professor F. Allan Hanson’s newly released book.
Studies have found testing, once used as performance evaluations, now expose test-takers to humiliating and unnecessary methods. Anthropology Professor F. Allan Hanson, from the College of Behavioral and Social Science, reveals the consequences of testing in newly published book.
As part of a nationwide tour, Professor Hanson is interested in providing the
Diamondback a copy of the book along with an exclusive interview.
University officials within the anthropology department as well as Professor Hanson are great contenders for interviews both for video and text. I’d be happy to arrange an interview between the Diamondback and the following university staff to discuss the increase in minority enrollment:

F. Allan Hanson Ph.D., Anthropology Professor, College of Behavioral and
Social Sciences , 301-405-2841
Please don’t hesitate to contact me at isimanin@umd.edu for more information and follow up for interviews.
Best,
Ilan Simanin isimanin@umd.edu, 240-499-4035
PRESS RELEASE: http://www.bit.ly/847db
###
[PASTED PRESS RELEASE HERE]