Buried kernel
Chat
C: I don't want to say much, er, just very fast. But I felt a bit sad, actually today,
D: Oh!
C: …when I was doing my research, I- and I was talking to er, a lot of students, to
designers and people about processes and all the time these emotions kept coming
up and so I did begin to see the emotions as just, you know, part of practice like your
techniques, like the drawing, like the writing and so on. And this this (the drawing)
was based on a speech that I gave em, at a conference because this, you know, was
based on my practice really. Although I like drawing, I was speaking about writing
and em, I think it was a bit sad actually and I- I keep coming back to this now but this
is my kernel here and it’s got buried because I – partly I was talking to H about
academic conventions and how you find a space in the academic territory – just all
this, you know, ‘I belong to this tribe! I have this status! This kudos! I think like this,
I’m with this department, this discipline’, all these things – you know. And er, it was
part way through my talk and I was, you know, going through all these […] How we
bury ourselves under the
things came up a lot for me today and that small kernel coming out, really.
The kernel was buried. But when I looked again, I thought maybe it was not buried but
supporting.
But actually, the ‘glory labels’ mean little to me.
Writing formed a totally separate exercise on separate A4.
The burial of the more creative?
Writing
…I begin and I try to look at the audience and start to go through the introduction to
my talk but the talk is too long.
The introduction is too long and I cannot get to my main theme because I am going
through the rigmarole of ticking boxes of where I am from and who I am with and
what the influences are, and I keep going even though I begin to see the mistake and
feel it in the pit of my stomach. Then I hear a huge sigh from X sitting in the front and
I know and think to myself, oh no, it’s gone wrong, I’ve done it the wrong way!...