St Stephen
Acts 7.51-60
cause so important that the thought of it carrying on, of the change
you wanted to see come into being, was worth the giving of your life?
Today’s reading was the story of St Stephen. St Stephen was the first
Psychologists have studied the greatest of human beings and have
Christian Martyr.
found that they live for and dedicate their lives to the highest of
He was the first of many, many Christians to die for spreading the
human values. For some it is justice, for some it is truth, for some it is
message they believed in. It was a message about the acceptability
love. But those who are described as being at the highest level of
of all people to God - a message of equality and justice.
human development are not motivated by money, by the thought of
The message eventually transformed a violent and brutal ancient
their own personal success, by status or fame or importance or
world into one which, while not perfect, is far more humane than it
power. Those who are among the greatest of human beings, who
was.
make the most significant contributions to the human project serve
It gets me thinking - in our day and age what would anyone be
what are called the ultimate values. They live and die for the
prepared to die for?
goodness of these values - truth, justice, beauty. Just as st Stephen
I am reminded that there have been incredible people who have been
did. St Stephen lived for something bigger than his own life, and it
willing to risk their lives, and certainly to spend them, on behalf of
seems that as he died, he got a glimpse of that which he had been
causes that they believe in. Take, for example Martin Luther King - a
living for - he saw heaven opened and waiting for him. It reminds me
man who was executed for standing up against racism and wanting
of the way my grandfather died. He had been a devoutly religious
equal rights for all people independent of their race.
Catholic all his life. He got cancer and my mother nursed him in his
Or think of Nelson Mandela, who died an old man, but spent almost
last few months. And she said in his final moments, he seemed to
thirty years in prison for standing up for justice in his home country of
stare past them and to be seeing something else. And his final words
South Africa. Or I think of Mahatma Gandhi - a man who similarly
were O joy, joy, joy.
stood for independence in his native India, and paid for it with his life.
While today is the day that the church remember st Stephen, I want
And it makes me wonder - what would it be like to believe in
to talk about a Stephen you may be more familiar with this morning.
something so much, to be so committed to the enduring goodness
and rightness of something, that you would give your life for it? Can
I want to read you part of the Eulogy for Steve Jobs that his half
you imagine it. Can you imagine thinking any cause to be so
sister, who only met him when he was 25, gave at his funeral. I think
important that it is worth spending your life on? Can you imagine a
it shows that Steve Jobs was one of these people who lived for
ultimate values - for beauty and for love - and that when he died, he
I remember when he phoned the day he met Laurene. “There’s this
got to see the source of those values. She wrote this:
beautiful woman and she’s really smart and she has this dog and I’m
going to marry her.”
Steve worked at what he loved. He worked really hard. Every day.
When Reed was born, he began gushing and never stopped. He was
That’s incredibly simple, but true.
a physical dad, with each of his children. He fretted over Lisa’s
He was never embarrassed about working hard, even if the results
boyfriends and Erin’s travel and skirt lengths and Eve’s safety around
were failures. If someone as smart as Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit
the horses she adored.
trying, maybe I didn’t have to be.
None of us who attended Reed’s graduation party will ever forget the
Novelty was not Steve’s highest value. Beauty was.
scene of Reed and Steve slow dancing.
For an innovator, Steve was remarkably loyal. If he loved a shirt, he’d
His abiding love for Laurene sustained him. He believed that love
order 10 or 100 of them. In the Palo Alto house, there are probably
happened all the time, everywhere. In that most important way, Steve
enough black cotton turtlenecks for everyone in this church.
was never ironic, never cynical, never pessimistic. I try to learn from
He didn’t favor trends or gimmicks. He liked people his own age.
that, still.
His philosophy of aesthetics reminds me of a quote that went
When a family member called him at work, his secretary Linetta
something like this: “Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks
answered, “Your dad’s in a meeting. Would you like me to interrupt
ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.”
him?”
Steve always aspired to make beautiful later.
They once embarked on a kitchen remodel; it took years. They
He was willing to be misunderstood.
cooked on a hotplate in the garage. The Pixar building, under
Steve was like a girl in the amount of time he spent talking about
construction during the same period, finished in half the time. And
love. Love was his supreme virtue, his god of gods. He tracked and
that was it for the Palo Alto house. The bathrooms stayed old. But —
worried about the romantic lives of the people working with him.
and this was a crucial distinction — it had been a great house to start
Whenever he saw a man he thought a woman might find dashing, he
with; Steve saw to that.
called out, “Hey are you single? Do you wanna come to dinner with
This is not to say that he didn’t enjoy his success: he enjoyed his
my sister?”
success a lot, just minus a few zeros. He told me how much he loved
going to the Palo Alto bike store and gleefully realizing he could
afford to buy the best bike there.
And he did.
“You can do this, Steve,” she said. His eyes widened. His lips
Steve was humble. Steve liked to keep learning.
pressed into each other.
He had surprises tucked in all his pockets. I’ll venture that Laurene
He tried. He always, always tried, and always with love at the core of
will discover treats — songs he loved, a poem he cut out and put in a
that effort. He was an intensely emotional man.
drawer — even after 20 years of an exceptionally close marriage. I
I realized during that terrifying time that Steve was not enduring the
spoke to him every other day or so, but when I opened The New York
pain for himself. He set destinations: his son Reed’s graduation from
Times and saw a feature on the company’s patents, I was still
high school, his daughter Erin’s trip to Kyoto, the launching of a boat
surprised and delighted to see a sketch for a perfect staircase.
he was building on which he planned to take his family around the
With his four children, with his wife, with all of us, Steve had a lot of
world and where he hoped he and Laurene would someday retire.
fun.
We all — in the end — die in the middle of a story. Of many stories.
He treasured happiness.
What I learned from my brother’s death was that character is
Then, Steve became ill and we watched his life compress into a
essential: What he was, was how he died.
smaller circle. Once, he’d loved walking through Paris. He’d
Tuesday morning, he called me to ask me to hurry up to Palo Alto.
discovered a small handmade soba shop in Kyoto. He downhill skied
His tone was affectionate, dear, loving, but like someone whose
gracefully. He cross-country skied clumsily. No more.
luggage was already strapped onto the vehicle, who was already on
Eventually, even ordinary pleasures, like a good peach, no longer
the beginning of his journey, even as he was sorry, truly deeply sorry,
appealed to him.
to be leaving us.
Yet, what amazed me, and what I learned from his illness, was how
When I arrived, he and his Laurene were joking together like partners
much was still left after so much had been taken away.
who’d lived and worked together every day of their lives. He looked
I remember my brother learning to walk again, with a chair. After his
into his children’s eyes as if he couldn’t unlock his gaze.
liver transplant, once a day he would get up on legs that seemed too
Then, after awhile, it was clear that he would no longer wake to us.
thin to bear him, arms pitched to the chair back. He’d push that chair
His breathing changed. It became severe, deliberate, purposeful. I
down the Memphis hospital corridor towards the nursing station and
could feel him counting his steps again, pushing farther than before.
then he’d sit down on the chair, rest, turn around and walk back
This is what I learned: he was working at this, too. Death didn’t
again. He counted his steps and, each day, pressed a little farther.
happen to Steve, he achieved it.
Laurene got down on her knees and looked into his eyes.
He told me, when he was saying goodbye and telling me he was
sorry, so sorry we wouldn’t be able to be old together as we’d always
planned, that he was going to a better place.
This had to be done. Even now, he had a stern, still handsome
profile, the profile of an absolutist, a romantic. His breath indicated an
arduous journey, some steep path, altitude.
He seemed to be climbing.
But with that will, that work ethic, that strength, there was also sweet
Steve’s capacity for wonderment, the artist’s belief in the ideal, the
still more beautiful later.
Steve’s final words, hours earlier, were monosyllables, repeated three
times.
Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time
at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their
shoulders past them.
Steve’s final words were:
OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW.