STOCKHOLM SYNDROME - COMPLEX VICTIM SURVIVAL STRATEGY - ABUSE & RAPE, ABDUCTION
Described as a victim’s emotional “bonding” with their abuser, Stockholm Syndrome was given its name
following a hostage situation in Stockholm, Sweden when, following the end of a bank robbery, the
hostages identified with and supported their captor.
Dr. Joseph Carver, a clinical psychologist, describes emotionally bonding with an abuser as a survival
strategy for victims of abuse and intimidation. For example, a victim who was abducted and raped may,
years later, describe the captor as a “great person” with whom he/she formed an emotional bond, may be
showing characteristics of a victim suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.1
It is important to remember that Stockholm Syndrome develops subconsciously and on an involuntary
basis. The strategy is a survival instinct that develops as an attempt to survive in a threatening and
controlling environment.
The Components and Progression of Stockholm Syndrome
Following are the components of Stockholm Syndrome as they relate to abusive and controlling
relationships. Common symptoms include:
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Victim having positive feelings toward the abuser
Victim having negative feelings toward family, friends, or authorities
Abuser having positive feelings toward the victim
Victim supporting or helping the abuser
Following are several stages in the progression of Stockholm Syndrome:
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The victim dissociates from his or her pain, helplessness or terror by subconsciously beginning to
see the situation / world from the abuser’s perspective. The victim begins to agree with the abuser
and certain aspects of his or her own personality, opinions, and views will fade into the background.
By doing this, the victim begins to learn how to appease and please the abuser, which may keep
him or her from being hurt or worse. Similarly this tactic can be used to manipulate the abuser into
being less dangerous, at least for a little while.
After a while the victim begins to realize that his or her abuser portrays the same human
characteristics as anyone else. At this point he or she will begin to see the abuser as less of a
threat. Some abusers may even share personal information in an effort to bond with the victim and
to promote pity rather than anger.
This bonding, in turn, leads to conflicting feelings (e.g., rage and pity) and illogical concern for the
abuser. The victim may even ignore his or her own needs.
Once the traumatic event has ended, however, the victim must again learn not to dissociate from his
or her emotions and not focus on the abuser. This can be a very difficult transition.
Four situations or conditions are present that serve as a foundation for the development of Stockholm
Syndrome:
1. Perceived or real threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and belief that the abuser will
carry out the threat. The abuser may:
o Assure the victim that only cooperation keeps loved ones safe.
o Offer subtle threats or stories of revenge to remind the victim that revenge is possible if they
leave.
o Have a history of violence leading the victim to believe they could be a target.
2. Presence of a small kindness from the abuser to the victim
o In some cases, small gestures such as allowing a bathroom visit or providing food/water are
enough to alter the victim’s perception of the abuser.
o Other times, a birthday card, a gift (usually provided after a period of abuse), or a special
treat can be seen as proof that the abuser is not “all bad.”
3. Victim’s isolation from other perspectives
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o
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Victims have the sense they are always being watched. For their survival they begin to take
on the abuser’s perspective. This survival technique can become so intense that the victim
develops anger toward those trying to help.
In severe cases of Stockholm Syndrome the victim may feel the abusive situation is their
fault.
4. Perceived or real inability to escape from the situation
o The victim may have financial obligations, debt, or instability to the point that they cannot
survive on their own.
o The abuser may use threats including taking the children, public exposure, suicide, or a life
of harassment for the victim.
How to Help: What to do and what not to do
While each situation is different, there are general guidelines to consider if you know or suspect that
someone you love is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome:
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Your loved one has probably been given a choice – the “relationship” or the family. Because the
victim believes that choosing the family will result in adverse consequences, the family always
comes second.
Your loved one is being told the family is trying to ruin their wonderful “relationship.” Remember: the
more you pressure the victim, the more you prove that point.
Your goal is to remain in contact with your loved one during the abusive “relationship.” There are
many channels of communication, including phone calls, letters, cards, emails, etc. Keep contact
brief and consider contacting him or her at “traditional” times such as holidays, birthdays, and
special occasions.
Your loved one may open up communication and provide subtle hints about his or her “relationship”
with the abuser. If so, listen and let them know that you are behind any decision they need to make.
Remember: he or she may be exploring what support is available but may not be ready to ask for
help just yet.
http://www.fairobserver.com/article/stockholm-syndrome-sex-trafficking-why-dont-they-do-something
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, TRAFFICKING, SEX WORKERS, HOSTAGES
21 August 2013 - By Dr. Shirley Jülich
From time to time it is reported that yet another person, usually a young woman, has been held hostage as
a sex slave for a lengthy period. There have been the recent events in Ohio, with Amanda Berry, Gina
DeJesus and Michelle Knight. Before them, the media reported about Jaycee Lee Dugard of
California, Natascha Kampusch of Austria, and Elizabeth Smart of Utah. While we do not know all the facts
of the case in Ohio, it is known that in the other cases, victims had the opportunity to leave or to ask
someone for help in the later stages of their captivity. They did not, and this puzzles the public.
Why do hostages find it so difficult to leave? The answer is simple – Stockholm Syndrome, a survival
technique that enables a hostage to survive. It is also a technique that victims of sex trafficking use to
survive. There is an established body of literature documenting the contradictory relationship that develops
between hostages and hostage-takers. This phenomenon is usually referred to as the Stockholm
Syndrome; although it is sometimes known as the Hostage Identification Syndrome, Survival Identification
Syndrome, or traumatic bonding.
The term, “Stockholm Syndrome,” was initially used in 1973 to describe what was considered as unusual
reactions of four bank employees, three women and one man, who had been held hostage by two exconvicts during a bank raid in Stockholm, Sweden. Over their six days of captivity, the hostages developed
an emotional bond with the hostage-takers to the extent that they not only identified with the hostageRicky Hunter & Assoc PO box 4525 Forest Lake 4078 Qld Australia www.rickyhunter.org M: 0414 436 755
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takers, but came to view the police as the enemy and subsequently attempted to protect the hostage-takers
from the police. The relationship between the hostages and hostage-takers did not stop at the end of the
siege, but carried on for years after the actual event. In their work on Stockholm Syndrome, Dee Graham
and her colleagues investigated the syndrome and argued that bonding between an abuser and a victim
occurred when four pre-cursors were co-existent. Victims of sex trafficking – those who have become
involved in the sex trade voluntarily and those who have been tricked or coerced – are subjected to these
very same conditions.
Perceived Threat to Survival
For most victims of sex trafficking, there is a clear and direct threat to their physical survival and the belief
that the abuser is willing to carry out that threat. For others it might be more subtle. Emotional abuse, or the
threat of harm, is a threat to physical survival. There might not be any threat to survival at the beginning of
the relationship, but once the victim is bonded to the abuser and it is too late to escape, the victim will feel a
very real threat to his or her survival. Victims are dependent on the abuser, no matter what their
circumstances. They are very aware that they cannot survive without the protection and support of the
abuser. Some victims might experience threats to their family and believe they are responsible for the
safety of others around them. Some might not be threatened so explicitly but they might believe that if they
ask for help or attempt to escape, they or their families could be in danger.
Perception of Kindness
People who are threatened understand kindness quite differently to those whose survival is not threatened.
Victims are ashamed they are in these situations and so their self-esteem is very low. They might think they
are responsible. Perceptions of kindness – even in the smallest form — can take on disproportionate
understandings. Many victims believe that the abuser loves them and this is perceived as kindness; as is
often the case between a pimp and the prostitute he or she controls. If victims are subjected to physical or
sexual violence, its cessation is interpreted as kindness. Some victims might minimize what has happened
to them and make such comments as: “At least he didn’t...,” “...hurt my family,” “it wasn’t that bad” or “it
could have been worse.” In some instances, victims are just thankful to be alive. All victims of sexual
trafficking over time are likely to misunderstand many small acts as a demonstration of kindness.
Isolation
When people are held hostage, they are physically isolated from other people and so from perspectives
other than those of the abuser. Victims of sex trafficking are not isolated from others. The isolation they
experience is not so obvious. An outsider, a person who has not been subjected to the same dynamics as
the victim, is likely to be unable to understand why victims just don’t run away or ask for help. From their
perspective, the victim maintains contact with others around them.
However, the emotional and psychological isolation that victims experience is profound. Survivors of child
sexual abuse reported that abusers used a variety of strategies to discourage their disclosure, such as
threats of violence against themselves and their families. Victims come to believe that they have no one
else to blame but themselves. They think no one will believe them. They think they deserve what is
happening to them and they are ashamed. So victims of sexual trafficking become psychologically isolated
from the perspectives of those who have not been subjected to these complex dynamics. They only know
the perspective of the abuser. This sense of isolation can be extremely difficult to break down.
Perceived Inability to Escape
If hostages are physically isolated from others, they obviously have limited opportunities, if any, to escape.
Abusers typically use violence to control victims. But in the case of sexual trafficking, victims do not have
access to their personal identification documents – these are held by the abuser. Neither do they have
access to money.
So, if they do escape, they cannot go far. There may be no family members nearby to help them. It might
be that these people, the very ones who should have protected them, failed to do so for whatever reason.
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Some victims will have seen what has happened to others if they try to escape. There will be other people,
bystanders, who know what is happening, but do nothing. They do nothing, perhaps because they are
receiving some sort of positive benefits from sex trafficking, or because they too are subjected to the same
sorts of dynamics to which the victim has been subjected. They might be powerless, and unable to act.
Victims of sex trafficking will interpret this as further proof that they cannot escape. For these victims, it is
not merely a perception that they are unable to escape: it is their reality.
Exposure to these four conditions explains why victims of sexual trafficking cannot escape as easily as
outsiders might expect. Those who understand the phenomenon of Stockholm Syndrome, such as
Graham, would expect the development of a relationship as I described in my research with survivors of
child sexual abuse.
The abuser threatens the victim’s survival, who, unable to escape and isolated from others, turns to the
abuser for protection. The need for protection, combined with the will to survive, drives victims to actively
search for expressions of kindness, empathy or affection by the abuser. The victim suppresses any feelings
of danger, terror or rage and, through this denial, is able to bond to the positive side of the abuse. So that
they can survive, the victim becomes both hyper-vigilant and hypersensitive to the abuser’s needs, feelings
and perspectives, suppressing their own needs. To effectively anticipate the needs of the abuser, the victim
views the world through the perspective of the abuser and this translates into positive feelings for the
abuser. The harder victims must work to meet the needs of the abuser, the stronger their bond is to the
abuser. Victims come to view any would-be rescuers, such as parents, police, therapists or friends, as the
“bad guys,” because that is the abuser’s perspective. The abuser becomes the “good guy” and victims
eventually come to believe that they deserve the abuse or are somehow responsible.
Events identified as “acts of god,” such as natural disasters, earthquakes and the like, provoke sympathy
and empathy for the victim. This response is not always the same for trauma caused by people.
Bystanders, those working in the industry or receiving services from it, tend to benefit from sexual
trafficking; they are unlikely to sympathize or empathize. They will do nothing — they will look the other
way.
Outsiders, on the other hand, have not been subjected to the complex dynamics of Stockholm Syndrome.
Their perception is distorted by a need to believe that they would act differently if they found themselves in
a similar situation. While this can be understood as a coping mechanism, unfortunately it serves to
minimize the realities of victims. This is further encouraged by the actions of the abuser, as he or she
undermines the credibility of the victim by using a range of sophisticated arguments and rationalizations.
The more powerful the abuser, the more influential he or she is, and the more readily he or she can define
reality. Devalued members of society – children and women – will likely learn that their realities occur
outside of socially validated parameters.
Some writers on Stockholm Syndrome support the idea that this syndrome develops over a lengthy period
of time, while others argue that it can develop very quickly. If we took the time to examine our own
reactions in different situations, we might be surprised to discover that we tend to want to develop a bond
with — or accommodate — the person we find the most threatening. We try to personalize ourselves to the
abuser, encourage him or her to see us as human beings with names, lives and families, and we do as we
are told in the hope that we might survive.
Stockholm Syndrome, Hostage Identification Syndrome, Survival Identification Syndrome, traumatic
bonding or any other name it might be given, is a natural survival technique that we all use to enable our
survival. So too do victims of sexual trafficking.
Author - Dr. Shirley Jülich is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Health and Social Services, Massey University, Albany.
Her PhD investigated the complex relationship between the criminal justice system, restorative justice, and child
sexual abuse from the perspective of adult survivors of child sexual abuse.
WUNRN
http://www.wunrn.com
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault/stockholm-syndrome
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