ENC 1102 Hybrid Day 24‹Parts of an Annotated Bibliography [M 4-9]

ENC 1102 Hybrid Day 24—Parts of an Annotated Bibliography [M 4-9]
-Students will understand the parts of the annotated bibliography.
-Students will understand how to rewrite by cutting deadwood, combining and
subordinating sentences, and writing in a natural voice.
What is an AB? Why is it useful?
Annotation Outline
Project A & B 491. Students should jot down a quick outline of James Gardiner’s
annotation of “A Review of the Research on Internet Addiction.” What kinds of
information does the annotation include?
Review Annotation’s Parts
Rhetorical context: doesn’t have to be too exhaustive. Mention genre, mention audience,
make purpose clear. If the authors have a notable angle of vision, mention that. “The
authors approach the problem from a radical feminist perspective.” “The author, Roger
Goodell, is the commissioner of the NFL.” Usually not necessary to mention ethos,
pathos, logos.
Summary: don’t get too detailed. Talk about large scale stuff. An annotated bibliography
isn’t meant to be research notes, it’s meant to orient the reader to your sources and their
Evaluative comment: again, not too detailed. Just mention what makes it valuable or
difficult to use. In this example, Gardiner is probably at the limit of how long your
evaluative statement should be.
Critical Preface Explanation and Outline
The CP serves as an introduction to your bibliography. It tells readers what they can
expect from this list of sources. That way, readers can know if your angle of vision (ie the
sources included) would be useful for their own research.
Jot a quick outline of James Gardiner’s critical preface on page 491. (Project CP)
See notes on 491. Point is simply that they’re all there and they’re all distinguished from
each other. Why include the date? Because readers can tell how recent your research is.
Lecture on Concision Strategies
So, given that you have to fit those three things into 150 words, what are some good
strategies? How do you make something more concise?
-“trim deadwood”. Just look for extra words. This is essentially an imaginative exercise
— imagine if there’s another way to phrase the sentence. Could the object become the
subject with a different verb? Could I turn this into a participial phrase? What if I left this
whole part out? Using strong, active verbs is a good strategy for reducing wordiness.
Also, think about whether you’ve used the same word or phrase over and over. Could you
use a short pronoun instead?
-subordinate. Often one long, complex sentence ends up being shorter than a bunch of
short, simple sentences. You don’t have to repeat so many words. Moreover, a well
subordinated sentence goes a long way towards achieving clarity by explaining how the
different ideas relate to each other. Use subordinating conjunctions like “since”
“therefore” “because” “before” “after”.
-Avoid high-flown, academic style. Sometimes this style is useful, but it takes work to
master it, and if you haven’t got it nailed down it produces long, hard-to-follow
sentences. Pick the word you would use in conversation instead of the word a technical
expert would use. Arrange words in the order of normal speech.
Concision practice in pairs (or individually?)
Do the first two prompts in the “Revising Passages” Exercise.
-Ask what the main problems with each piece were. Too wordy? Not subordinated?
-What were some of the final word counts? Get a few students to read. Did you maintain
all of the original information?
The mayor did settle the issue. But by fostering bitter public debate, he made the
mistake of pitting key subordinates against each other and inflaming many people’s
passions and fears.
Informative writing, like a news story, aims to provide essential information.
Persuasive writing, like an op-ed piece, aims to transform its reader’s behaviors or