Loose and Periodic Sentences (Guided Practice)
Adapted from The Lively Art of Writing by Lucile Vaughan Payne
Instruction
Sentences can be divided into three special types: basic, loose, and periodic. A basic sentence is
a simple statement:
(1) Stacy is enrolled in psychology.
(2) The telephone rang.
A loose sentence is a basic statement with a string of details added to it:
(3) Stacy is enrolled in psychology, a complex and challenging discipline.
(4) The telephone rang, filling the office with a mad clanging, startling the sleeping security
guard, who fumbled for the receiver, knocking over his coffee cup in the process.
As you notice in sentence (4), loose sentences can be quite complex. Look at this example from
the novel Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson (the basic sentence is in bold):
He had grown up in the Middle West, in a house dug out of the ground, with windows just at
earth level and just at eye level, so that from without, the house was a mere mound, no more a
human stronghold than a grave, and from within, the perfect horizontality of the world in that
place foreshortened the view so severely that the horizon seemed to circumscribe the sod
house and nothing more.
A periodic sentence is a basic statement interrupted by information set off by a pair of
commas:
(5) Stacy, an ambitious and hardworking sophomore from Trenton, New Jersey, is enrolled in
psychology. (details added to the noun “Stacy”)
(6) Stacy is enrolled, at the insistence of her controlling parents and against her will, in
psychology. (details added to the verb “enrolled”)
(7) The telephone, which had sat in complete tomb-like silence on the desk of the sleeping
security guard for most of Halloween night, rang.
Notice how the interruption in sentence (7) creates a feeling of delayed gratification for effect.
As with loose sentences, periodic sentences can be lengthy and complex as well, though the risk
of losing the reader is greater. Look at this example from Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of
Independence:
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of
the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God
entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare
the causes which impel them to the separation.
Using periodic sentence structure can be rhetorically effective when used in short sentences as
well, as the following passages illustrate:
And it all looked, Mr. Carmichael thought, shutting his book, falling asleep, much as it used to
look. (Virginia Woolf)
But law, although odorless, is no less a metaphor for social relations than blood. Blood, it
happens, congeals into a better social glue than law. Law, it happens, is potentially a more
inclusive principle than blood. (Benjamin Barber)
You can also, if you feel daring, combine the two styles by adding details to the subject (Stacy),
the verb (enrolled), and the object (psychology):
(8) Stacy, an ambitious and hardworking sophomore from Trenton, New Jersey, is enrolled, at
the insistence of her controlling parents and against her will, in psychology, a complex and
challenging discipline.
Our sentence is getting a bit messy, but sentence (8) is much more interesting rhythmically and
conceptually than sentence (1). Remember that whether you use basic, loose, or periodic
sentences, your writing should have a clear emphasis and should sound natural to the ear when
read out loud.
Exercises
1. Discuss with a partner how using basic, loose, or periodic sentences produces different
rhetorical effects in readers. What are the advantages or disadvantages to using each
one?
2. Write a loose sentence at least twenty words long for each of the following basic
statements:
a. The woman was dead.
b. Ben loved to breakdance.
c. The United States has a mixed global reputation.
3. Write two periodic sentences at least fifteen words long by expanding on the verb of the
following basic statements:
a. Lydia ran from the chapel.
b. The old man talked about his war wound.
4. Now write two periodic sentences at least fifteen words long by expanding on the
subject of the following basic statements:
a. The circus was their life.
b. Violent summer movies attract young audiences.
(Independent Practice)
Part
A:
In
the
space
provided
below
each
sentence,
identify
if
the
sentence
is
loose or periodic.
1. Pat,
ever
the
jokester,
always
trying
to
make
people
laugh,
a
true
future
stand
up
comic,
told
the
most
hilarious
joke.
2. Kim
was
terrified,
fearing
that
someone
was
trying
to
break
in
to
her
home
when
her parents
were
out
to
view
a
late
night
movie.
3. With
its
low
cost
health
insurance,
unpolluted
environment,
low
crime
rate,
and
gorgeous
topography,
British
Columbia
is
a
great
place
to
live
and
raise
a
family.
4. Carl,
who
is
always
cheerful
and
never
complains
no
matter
how
impossible
a
situation may
seem,
is
a
positive
person.
5. An
extensive
reading
list,
a
multitude
of
analytical
essays,
tons
of
grammar
worksheets,
a
boring
and
mean-spirited
teacher,
AP
English
is
a
tough
subject.
6. Dan,
shivering
from
the
freezing
waters
and
fighting
hard
to
keep
from
being
swept
away by the
rapid
current,
saved
the
drowning
boy.
7. The
boy,
the
blonde, adorable
six –year-old
who
lives
down
the
street
from
me,
is
a
terror.
8. Because Oliver
and
River
were
laughing
hysterically
and
throwing
food
around
the
theater,
they were kicked
out
of
the
cinema.
9. Not
letting
anything
thwart
her
plans,
knowing
in
her
heart
that
she
could
indeed
do
it,
convincing
her
parents
to
reward
her success with
a
brand
new,
red,
Mustang
convertible, Melissa
earned
all
A’s
for
the
fourth
marking
period.
10. Talon
was
so
considerate, cooking
dinner
for his mother,
cleaning
up
the
dishes,
and
then washing
and
waxing
her
car.
Part
B:
In
the
space
provided
below
each
sentence,completely
rewrite
it
to
make
it
periodic.
Do
not
delete
from
or
add
any
information
to
the
sentence.
1. Spring
is
finally
here,
bright
skies,
warm
temperatures,
budding
trees,
and
emerging
flowers
causing
everyone
to
smile
happily.
2. Mrs.
Miller
went
completely
wild,
crying
and
hyperventilating
when
she
won
the
250 million
dollar
state
lottery.
3. Hillary
was
excited, knowing
that
prom
night
had
finally
arrived.
4. Corey
is
a
romantic
guy,
buying
his
girlfriend
the
most
beautiful
flowers
and
taking
her
out
for
an
expensive
dinner
to
celebrate
her
birthday.
5. Jessica,
ever
persistent,
practiced
for
hours
each
day,
determined
to
learn
how
to
play
the piano.
Part
C:
Rewrite
each
of
the
following
simple
sentences
to
make
them
loose
sentences.
1.Doug
likes
to
cook.
2.Monica
redecorated
her
bedroom.
3.Molly
is
great
at
coordinating
the
perfect
outfit.