Chapter 6
Writing Good- and Neutral-News Messages
Learning Objectives
1. Describe the deductive outline for good news and routine information, and its adaptations for
specific situations and for international audiences.
2. Prepare messages that convey good news, including thank-you and appreciation messages.
3. Write messages presenting claims and requests and favorable responses to them.
4. Write message acknowledging customer orders, providing credit information, and extending credit.
5. Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and consistent application.
Chapter Overview
Good-news and neutral-news messages are included together in this chapter because the outlines for
these communications are both deductive. Strategies and examples are presented for the creation of
positive news messages, appreciation messages, routine claims and requests, routine messages about
orders and credit, and procedural messages. Strategies for the use of form documents and for adapting
messages sent to international audiences are also presented.
Key Terms
Acknowledgment message 97
Adjustment messages 90
Claim 90
Deductive (or direct) sequence 85
Good-news messages 84
Neutral-news messages 84
Persuasive claims 90
Persuasive requests 93
Resale 91
Routine claims 90
Routine requests 93
Sales promotional material 91
PowerPoint Slides

Lecture Slides — Students can review key chapter concepts on the Lecture Slides (found on the
companion website (Student’s Resources)). Slides can be downloaded for convenient printing of
handouts for taking class notes.
Slide Number and Title
1. Chapter 6 Delivering Good- and Neutral- News Messages
2. Learning Objectives
3. Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages
4. Advantages of the Deductive Outline
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages


5. Types of Good-News Messages
6. Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
7. Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
8. Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
9. Extending Credit: Write Deductively
10. Guidelines for Procedural Messages
E-lectures — Slides with engaging narration of key concepts—useful as reinforcement of lectures
and exam reviews—are available through the CourseMate site for BCOM3.
Resource Slides — A larger deck of slides for instructors for displaying in the classroom; these slides
for class enrichment and solutions to activities and applications are also available at the companion
website (Instructor’s Resources) and on the Instructor’s CD.
Slide Number and Title
1. Chapter 6 Delivering Good- and Neutral- News Messages
2. Learning Objectives
3. Learning Objective 1 Describe the deductive outline for good news and routine information,
and its adaptations for specific situations and for international audiences.
4. Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages
5. Advantages of the Deductive Outline
6. Learning Objective 2 Prepare messages that convey good news, including thank-you and
appreciation messages.
7. Types of Good-News Messages
8. Positive News Message: Why It Works
9. Benefits of Written Appreciation Messages
10. Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
11. Using Written Appreciation Messages Appropriately
12. Appreciation Message: Why It Works
13. Handling Apologies
14. Apology Message: Why It Works
15. Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
16. Learning Objective 3 Write messages presenting claims and requests and favorable
responses to them.
17. Routine Claim: What Does Not Work
18. Routine Claim: Why It Works
19. Learning Objective 4 Write message acknowledging customer orders, providing credit
information, and extending credit.
20. Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
21. Extending Credit: Write Deductively
22. Learning Objective 5 Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and consistent
application.
23. Guidelines for Procedural Messages
24. Procedural Message: Why It Works
25. Procedural Message: What Does Not Work
26. Procedural Message: Why It Works
Chapter Outline
DEDUCTIVE ORGANIZATIONAL PATTERN 84
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
GOOD-NEWS MESSAGES 86
Positive News 86
Thank-You and Appreciation Messages 88
ROUTINE CLAIMS 90
Claim Message 90
Favorable Response to a Claim Message 90
ROUTINE REQUESTS 93
Routine Request 93
Favorable Response to a Routine Request 93
Positive Response to a Favor Request 93
Form Messages for Routine Responses 95
ROUTINE MESSAGES ABOUT ORDERS AND CREDIT 95
Acknowledging Customer Orders 97
Providing Credit Information 97
Extending Credit 98
PROCEDURAL MESSAGES 100
Teaching Suggestions
Learning Objective 1
Describe the deductive outline for good news and routine information, and its adaptations for specific
situations and for international audiences.
Introduction
 Project the visual and discuss the wide variety of channels available for business communicators.
 Point out the three main types of channels—written, electronic, and spoken—and options available
in each.
 Remind students of previous discussions of channel choice based on receiver-reaction, the
importance of the message, and the need for permanent record of the message.
Resource slide 8, Ch 1: Communication Channels

Review the concepts from “Adapting the Message to the Audience” from Chapter 3. Ask students to
read the following article as a springboard for discussing why these principles are important:
Heath, J.M., & Lang, E.J. (2005). How to write things people will read. Subiaco, WA: Viacorp.com.
Retrieved from http://www.viacorp.com/how-to-write-things-people-will-read.pdf
DEDUCTIVE ORGANIZATIONAL PATTERN
 Show the visual displaying the four receiver reactions introduced in Chapter 3 as you discuss the
need to assess the receiver’s likely reaction to a message.
Resource slide 26, Ch 3: Step 4—Select an Appropriate Outline

Show the deductive outline used when the reader will be pleased or interested (left) as you discuss
the sequence of the good- or neutral-news messages. Refer students to Figure 6-1, page 86.
Resource slide 4: Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages

Discuss the advantages of the deductive sequence as you display the visual. Use the “Check Your
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Communication” checklist in the Student Review card as a basis for discussion.
Resource slide 5: Advantages of the Deductive Outline

Ask students to complete Activity 1 that require the revision of the openings of several messages so
they are deductive. Project the answers provided on resource slides as you review the principles of
an effective deductive response. Refer to Activities 2 and 3 discuss which opening statement and
closing statement is preferable for a positive response message.

Have students study the ineffective and effective applications of the deductive outline illustrated in
the sample documents. Point out the ineffective icon that appears above the examples of poor
composition. Model documents also appear on the companion website for additional review of
effective message composition.
Learning Objective 2
Prepare messages that convey good news, including thank-you and appreciation messages.
GOOD-NEWS MESSAGES
 Discuss with students the different types of good news messages (shown on the slide). Ask students,
“How can you determine whether a message is good news or routine news?”
 Discuss with students the need to always consider receiver reaction to determine into which
category a message will fall.
Resource slide 7: Types of Good-News Messages
Positive News Messages
 Emphasize placing the important information, the “good news,” at the beginning of the message
because the receiver wants to know now.
 Discuss the sample good news memo on the visual. Point out the information at the beginning,
middle, and end. Remind students of the need for a forward-looking closing.
Resource slide 8: Positive News Message: Why It Works
Thank-You and Appreciation Messages
 Emphasize that writing these messages is a part of civic responsibility and stress the following
points:
─ The motive of letters that commend should be to encourage and to give deserved recognition.
─ Saying something favorable for the purpose of later gaining a reward from the receiver is not a
legitimate motive.
 Initiate a discussion of the need for thank-you and appreciation messages. Ask students if they have
ever received a thank-you note they did not expect. How did receiving that commendation make
them feel? Would they be more willing to help in the future because of the appreciation? Why or
why not? How might these types of messages help businesses build lasting relationships with
customers or clients?
 Remind students to send thank-you notes and other appreciation messages as soon as possible,
especially after job interviews. Remind them to include in the message something specific that
occurred to personalize for the intended receiver.
 Discuss email as a tool for appreciation messages. How effective is it?
 Show the visual as you lead a discussion of the benefits of sending written appreciation messages.
 Refer students to the visuals and examples of effective thank-you and appreciation messages,
including Figure 6–3 as you lead a discussion of successful goodwill messages.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Resource slide 8: Positive News Message: Why It Works
Resource slide 9: Benefits of Written Appreciation Messages
Resource slide 10: Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
Resource slide 11: Using Written Appreciation Messages Appropriately


Assign Activity 9 that asks students to compose and send a message to someone who has been
especially helpful to them in some way. As responses to those letters are received, ask students to
share them with the class.
As an additional activity, ask students to read about Campbell Soup Co CEO Doug Conant’s strategy
of sending handwritten thank you notes to employees.
Carter, A. (2006, December 4). Lighting a fire under Campbell: How Doug Conant’s quiet,
cerebral style got things bubbling again, BusinessWeek, 4012, 96–101. Available from
Business Source Complete database.
Web Enrichment Content: Handling Apologies
• Ask students to read the Web Enrichment: Handling Apologies at the companion website.
• Discuss the weak apology given by Eliot Spitzer, then New York governor, for alleged repeat visits to
an exclusive call-girl service. You could also mention the famous 2004 Super Bowl “wardrobe
malfunction” of Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. How should have the two stars handled the
situation? For more information, refer students to the entry at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_XXXVIII_halftime_show_controversy.
• Ask students for their opinions on the resolution that passed The U.S. Senate in June 2009 that
apologized for slavery. The resolution of apology was an effort by the federal government to take
responsibility for over two centuries of slavery. Several members of the Congressional Black Caucus
fought the measure when it reached the House.
─ Instruct students to read the article on this resolution at the Washington Post website
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/18/AR2009061803877.html
─ Instruct students to go to the following website to read about the controversy surrounding this
government apology. Discuss other recent examples of apologies governments have offered to
people they have wronged. http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/71194.html
• Discuss communication strategies for handling apologies. Be sure to cover the main points (see
visuals below), including:
─ Ask students for examples of situations they have faced where a company owed them an
apology. How did they feel and react when the company did not honor a request, was late
shipping merchandise, etc.? How did they react if the company apologized for the mistake? If it
did not?
─ Relate apologies to building strong customer satisfaction and loyalty. Remind students that
often the most loyal customer is the one who has experienced a problem with the company and
had it satisfactorily resolved.
─ Stress the need to handle apologies quickly and sincerely. Remind students not to overdo the
“I’m sorry” because this strategy places too much emphasis on the negative action rather than
on the apology.
─ What channels are appropriate for apologies? Why?
Resource slide 13: Handling Apologies
Resource slide 14: Apology Message: Why It Works
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Learning Objective 3
Write messages presenting routine claims and requests and favorable responses to them.
ROUTINE CLAIMS
Claim Message
 Initiate a discussion about the importance of building lasting relationships with customers. Refer
back to the strategies for building goodwill discussed in Chapter 3.
 Tell students “The need for claim letters or requests for adjustment occurs when a business or
consumer asks for something to which they think they are entitled.”
 Ask “How many of you have returned merchandise that you ordered online? What happened?”
 Discuss the difference between routine claims and persuasive claims, emphasizing the need for
different outlines for each—deductive for routine (when the sender expects a positive response,
inductive for persuasive when the sender does not necessarily expect a positive response).
 Refer to Figure 6–4 (poor example) and 6–5 (good example) as you lead in a discussion of successful
claims.
 Remind students that email has become a key channel for both making and responding to claims.
 Assign Activity 6 for classwork/homework. Project the solution provided on resource slides as you
review the claim request.
Resource slide 17: Routine Claim: What Does Not Work
Resource slide 18: Routine Claim: Why It Works
Favorable Response to a Claim Message
 Focus on the three steps involved in the claim letter sequence (request an adjustment, provide an
explanation, and remind of the request).
 Refer to Figure 6–6 (poor example) and 6–7 (good example) as you discuss successful adjustment
letters.
 Emphasize the value of including resale in adjustment letters. Incorporate case assignment 2 (at the
end of this guide) that focuses on the claim process at Zappos.
 Show the visual to help students identify the differences between resale and sales promotion.
Discuss the definitions of each term. Remind students that all responses to claim letters should
include one of these statements.
Resource slide 15: Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
ROUTINE REQUESTS
Favorable Responses to a Routine Request
 Refer to Figure 6–10 (poor example) and 6–11 (good example) as you lead in a discussion of
successful favorable replies to routine requests.
 Remind students again that email is becoming the channel of choice for many routine
communications, including responses routine requests. Emphasize planning and executing messages
via email and not allowing the “informality” of channel to lead to sloppy messages. Tell students to
be careful using casual language that results in their messages lacking emphasis or significance.
Form letters for Routine Responses
 Assign Application 5 and ask students to locate examples of form letters and discuss in small groups
their adequacy and possible improvement. Have each group report on their discussion. Make visuals
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

of some of the form letters brought in by students to project to the class, illustrating effective and
ineffective examples.
Ask, “Have you ever received a form letter, especially for sending in a job application? How did you
feel when you received it?”
Learning Objective 4
Write messages acknowledging customer orders, providing credit information, and extending credit.
ROUTINE MESSAGES ABOUT ORDERS AND CREDIT
 Discuss the procedures companies typically use to acknowledge orders and situations when sending
an individualized letter of acknowledgment would be appropriate.
 Refer to Figure 6-12 as you discuss online order confirmation. Ask students to share their
experiences with email order confirmations. What companies use effective messages? What
companies have they experienced difficulties with concerning order confirmations?
Providing Credit Information
 Lead students in a discussion of the legal and ethical responsibilities of providing credit information.
 Ask: What are the long-term consequences of providing incorrect or exaggerated credit
information? What are the consequences of ignoring a credit information request about a
customer?
Extending Credit
 Emphasize the legal aspects involved in writing letters about credit.
 Project the visual and discuss the requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA).
 Refer to Figure 6-13 as you lead a discussion of successful credit extension letters.
 Assign Application 2 that requires writing a message acknowledging a customer order and providing
credit approval. Project the solutions provided on resource slides as you discuss the assignment.
Resource slide 20: Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
Resource slide 21: Extending Credit: Write Deductively
Learning Objective 5
Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and consistent application.
PROCEDURAL MESSAGES
 Project the visual as you discuss the importance of writing effective procedures and instructions.
 Refer students to visuals and Figure 6-14 as you discuss principles related to writing effective
procedures and instructions.
 Ask “What do you think about the statement, ‘Our company does not write letters anymore. We just
email.’”
Resource slide 23: Guidelines for Procedural Messages
Resource slide 24: Procedural Message: Why It Works

Assign Activity 8 for classwork/homework or the following supplementary problem. Show the
solution provided on the resource slide as you review the procedural message.
Resource slide 25: Procedural Message: What Does Not Work
Resource slide 26: Procedural Message: Why It Works
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Case Assignment 1: Snoop Proof Your PC
 Ask students to visit the websites indicated on the companion website concerning computer
security and privacy on the Internet.
 Assign students case assignment 1, Snoop Proof Your PC, which requires students to summarize the
major snoop risks and what actions can be taken to avoid these risks. Discuss the risks and solutions
in class.
 Use this case to prepare students for an analytical writing assignment by having them write an essay
relating the use of computers to the Mark Twain quote presented.
Summary
 Assign Application 1 that requires students to locate an appropriate article and prepare an abstract
for electronic distribution to a group.
 Assign selected activities/applications at the end of chapter. Remind students to study suggestions
in the “Check Your Communication” checklist when planning and revising an assignment.
Chapter Review
1. List the steps in the deductive outline recommended for good- and neutral-news messages. (Obj. 1)
The steps in the deductive outline are (a) state the main idea, (b) provide details or explanation, and (c)
remind the receiver of the good news or main idea and/or include a future-oriented closing thought.
This sequence is also appropriate for oral messages that convey good or neutral news. The same
outlines recommended for written messages are recommended for oral messages, as they are based on
anticipated reaction.
2. Discuss guidelines for communicating with an international audience. (Obj. 1)
Refer to guidelines for writing to an international audience included in the Strategic Forces feature.
3. What suggestions will contribute to a warm, genuine tone in a thank-you or appreciation message?
(Obj. 2)
To provide a warm, genuine tone in appreciation messages, the writer should (a) identify the
circumstances for which he or she is grateful and (b) provide specific reasons why the action is
appreciated. The writer should NOT exaggerate or use language that is unbelievable.
4. Explain how claim messages and responses to requests both use the deductive message pattern.
(Obj. 3)
Because the likely reader reaction to a claim letter and a response request is pleased or interested, both
these letters should be written deductively. The company to whom a routine claim letter is addressed
will extend the claim without persuasion, and a reader will be pleased to receive the response to a
routine request.
5. What is the difference between resale and sales promotional material? Provide an example of each.
Why should resale and sales promotional material be included in an adjustment message? (Obj. 3)
Resale is a favorable remark about a product or service already purchased by the person being
addressed. Sales promotional material is a low-pressure message about products or services not yet
purchased. Students’ responses will vary. As an example, a message reiterating the quality of an MP3
player previously purchased would be using the technique of resale. If the message also mentions
accessories for the MP3 player, such as headphones or a carrying case, it would be including sales
promotional material.
6. Distinguish between the two major types of request messages, and specify the outline preferable
for each type. (Obj. 3)
A claim letter is a request for an adjustment. Persuasive claims assume that a request will be granted
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
only after explanations and persuasive arguments have been presented. Routine claims assume that a
request will be granted quickly and willingly, without persuasion. Use a deductive outline for routine
claims; an inductive outline for persuasive claims.
7. Describe the procedure typically used by companies to acknowledge orders. Provide three
situations when sending an individualized order acknowledgment would be appropriate and explain
why? (Obj. 4)
Most orders can be acknowledged by shipping the order; no letter is necessary. Typically,
acknowledgment letters are preprinted letters or a copy of the sales order. However, for initial orders,
custom orders, and for orders that cannot be filled quickly and precisely, companies send
acknowledgment letters. In these cases, customers appreciate the company’s response and information
as to when the order should arrive.
8. Provide suggestions for writing a legally defensible credit information letter. (Obj. 4)
In writing credit information letters, the writer should comply with requirements of the Equal Credit
Opportunity Act (ECOA). This law requires that the applicant be notified of the credit decision within 30
days of the receipt of the request. In structuring credit information letters, stick to the facts, making
sure that all statements can be documented. Omit statements and opinions that could lead to a
defamation charge.
9. What information should be included in a letter extending credit? (Obj. 4)
The writer should (a) begin by extending credit, (b) indicate the foundation upon which the credit
extension was made, (c) present and explain the credit policies, and (d) include resale or sales
promotional material and encourage future orders.
10. Provide guidelines for writing instructions that can be understood and followed consistently.
(Obj. 5)
When writing instructions, (a) begin each step with an action statement; (b) itemize each step on a
separate line to add emphasis and to simplify reading; (c) consider preparing a flowchart depicting the
procedures if necessary; (d) complete the procedure by following the instructions step by step, revising
as necessary; and (e) ask a colleague or employee to walk through the procedures to locate ambiguous
statements, omissions, or errors.
Activities
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
1. Deductive Openings (Objs. 1–5)
Revise the following openings so that they are deductive.
a. In last week’s budget meeting, the controller underscored that budgets are lean this quarter.
However, she has approved your request for computer upgrades for your staff.
b. The Marion Club is a service organization that has always been held in high esteem within the
telecommunications industry. Our membership is honored to extend an invitation for you to
join us as we help the industry move forward.
c. It is rare that we receive a claim regarding a defect in our self-service photo kiosks. However,
because of our belief in our product, a sales representative will deliver a replacement.
See Solution slide for suggested answers (also provided below). A Student Handout is available on your
companion web site and at the end of this guide.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
a. The controller has approved your request for computer upgrades for personnel in your department.
b. The membership of the Marion Club cordially invites you to join us in our mission to promote the
telecommunications industry.
c. A replacement self-service photo kiosk will be delivered by a sales representative.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your companion web
site and at the end of this guide.
2. Perfecting Opening Statements (Objs. 1, 2)
Decide which opening statement is preferable for a positive response message and describe why the
others are less effective.
Version 1
Your employee-of-the-month award proposal reflects value for the company and our employees.
So that we can consider the feasibility of the idea, please provide a few more details.
Version 2
I have read your proposal for the employee-of-the-month award and think it is a great idea.
However, before it can be submitted to the board, I need to have a few more details.
Version 3
Enclosed please find my comments regarding your employee-of-the-month award proposal. The
idea appears to be a win-win situation for the company and our employees.
Of the three opening statements, Version 1 is most preferable for a positive response. It is receiver
focused, complimenting the proposal author on the value of the proposed ideas to the company. The
final sentence is forwarding looking and positive and ends with a polite request for more details.
Version 2 is sender-focused, with emphasis on “I.” It implies that the proposal includes major
weaknesses that must be corrected before it can be reviewed by the board. The final request for details
places the sender in a position of superiority. Version 3 uses clichés; “enclosed please find my comments
regarding” and “a win-win situation.” No request for additional details is included.
3. Perfecting Closing Statements (Objs. 1, 3)
Decide which closing statement is preferable for a positive response message and describe why the
others are less effective.
Version 1
I am pleased that you submitted this proposal and I look forward to submitting the revised version
to the board of directors at their next meeting.
Version 2
Thank you for providing a proposal that may enable our company to provide a much-deserved
reward to our employees. Completing your revision by this Friday will ensure the proposal will be
addressed at the upcoming board of directors meeting.
Version 3
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Please submit a more detailed analysis of your proposal as soon as possible. Thank you in advance.
Of the three closing statements, Version 2 is most preferable for a positive response message. The
message begins with a thank you and compliments the writer of the proposal for developing a proposal
that will enable the company to reward deserving employees. The request for revisions is stated
tactfully, encouraging the writer to submit a revised version in time for consideration at the next board
meeting.
Version 1 is sender-focused, with emphasis on “I” rather than the author of the proposal. In this
statement, all action is taken by the sender, not the receiver. Version 3 is unsatisfactory because it is
abrupt and demanding. The closing statement of thanks sounds insincere.
4. Form Letter: Need for Personalization (Objs. 1, 3)
The U.S. Army had to apologize to thousands of families who received letters in late 2008 beginning
“Dear John Doe” after losing a soldier in Afghanistan. The letters that contained information on services
for surviving families were printed by a contracting company and also had improper information in place
of the recipient name and address. In trying to rectify the error, the army chief of staff sent a personal
letter to each family.
[Source: Mount, M. (2009, January 7). Army sorry for ‘John Doe’ letters to relatives of war dead.
CNN.com. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/07/john.doe.letters/index.html?iref=nextin]
Required: Discuss the impact of receiving a non-personalized or improperly addressed form letter. What
are some of the results to an organization that sends such communications?
The form letter sent by the U.S. Army to families who had lost soldiers in Afghanistan would
understandably anger anyone receiving it. It was intended as a personalized message from the Army;
however, the error in the use of “Dear John Doe” was evidence that it was, in fact, a form letter. An
improperly addressed form letter conveys to the recipient that they have no personal value or meaning
to the sender. Such errors destroy the intended message, making it unbelievable. Organizations that
send such communication lose credibility with their audiences and usually have to go to great length to
offset the negative impression created.
5. Document for Analysis: Thank-You (Obj. 2) Downloadable file available at companion website
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Mary Kendall:
We never expected to ever have to implement the disaster contingency plan we established with
you a few years ago. The strange twists of fate that caused the levy to fail plunged our company
into potential chaos. I am pleased to see that your company effectively implemented the recovery
plan as promised.
I would like to thank you and your company for your assistance in getting our office relocated after
the break in the levy flooded our building. We appreciate you and your team arriving so quickly and
working “around the clock” to obtain new furniture and restore our computer systems. Please
communicate our appreciation to your team for their efforts.
One possible solution follows:
Dear Mary Kendall:
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Thanks for coming to our rescue recently when our building was flooded by the levy break.
Your immediate response to our problems made us grateful we had chosen FailSafe Inc. to create and
implement our disaster contingency. We especially appreciate the dedication you and your team
showed working day and night to relocate our office, obtain new furniture, and restore our computer
system.
FailSafe Inc.’s promise to provide quick response to problems faced through disasters was affirmed by
you and your team. Thank you again for the excellent service and support.
Sincerely,
Student’s Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses the inductive approach; begins with focus on the sender and irrelevant background information,
which delays thanks until the second paragraph.
Content
 Digresses into background information in the first sentence, which continues through most of the
first paragraph.
 Ends with a weak statement that repeats but doesn’t reinforce the contribution the reader has
made.
Style
 Overuses “We,” and “I” creating a receiver-centered tone.
 Uses wordy clichés and general, superficial statements that could cause the reader to question the
writer’s sincerity.
6. Document for Analysis: Claim Request (Obj. 3) Downloadable file available at companion website
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Mr. Berkin:
When I ordered my Zeratus notebook last month, you assured me that it provided state-of the-artsecurity. After viewing the specifications, I believed in your product and your company and soon
placed my order. I received the notebook on January 12.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint and password security.
However, I often have to reboot the computer several times before I can get the notebook to recognize
my fingerprint and allow me access to my files.
I have read and followed all the instructions, and even rescanned my fingerprint several times; but
each time the notebook rarely recognizes me on the first attempt.
I would like this problem solved, either through a new computer being sent to me free of charge, or a
refund after I return this one.
Please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should resolve this problem.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your companion web site
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
Dear Mr. Berkin:
Please send me a new Zeratus notebook to replace the defective one returned to you via UPS. The
credit card receipt and purchase order for the original purchase and the UPS shipping information are
enclosed.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint and password security.
However, I usually have to reboot the computer several times before it recognizes me. Therefore, I am
convinced this unit is defective.
I am eager to receive a replacement computer quickly so that I can begin enjoying the product’s many
features.
Sincerely,
Student’s Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses an inductive approach rather than deductive outline required for routine claim letters.
Content
 Does not begin with the main idea—request for an adjustment.
 Doesn’t request the adjustment until the last two paragraphs.
 Includes details that are not necessary for a routine claim.
Style
 Presents details in a wordy, unorganized manner.
 Overuses “I,” creating a receiver-centered tone.
 Ends with a weak cliché.
7. Document for Analysis: Routine Request (Obj. 4)
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Ms. Fondren:
I am the Vice President of Operations for Sherman Corporation, a manufacturer of golf ball
components. We have operated plants across the Midwest for thirty years, and we are
contemplating opening a facility in the South within the next two years.
As we evaluate our operational needs and requirements, we are collecting data from various
locations we think may provide a site that will generate the maximum benefit for both
Sherman and the locale under consideration. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you could send
me some information about Knoxville and its surrounding area, including information on
population demographics and major employers, as well as a geographic description of the
area. I’d also like to know about the weather, education, and cultural opportunities in the
area, and, of course, the cost of living.
Thank you for your assistance, and I look forward to your response.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your companion web site
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
Dear Ms. Fondren:
Please send information about Knoxville and its surrounding area. This information will assist us
in selecting the location for a golf ball component manufacturing facility to be opened by 2013.
To complete the analysis, information in the following areas is needed:
• population demographics
• major employers
• geographic description of the area
• weather conditions
• quality of elementary and secondary education
• cultural opportunities
• cost of living
Please send this information as quickly as possible. To learn more about Sherman Corporation,
please visit our company website at www.sherman.com.
As our company wants to complete this analysis by the end of the first quarter, please send this
information by February 28. We appreciate your assistance in helping our company select an
ideal location for our new facility.
Sincerely,
Student’s Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses an inductive approach rather than deductive outline required for routine request letters.
Content
 Does not begin with the main idea—request for an adjustment.
 Doesn’t request the information until the second paragraph.
Style
 Presents details in a wordy, unorganized manner. Needs a bulleted list to enhance visual appeal and
quick access to information.
 Overuses “I,” creating a reader-centered tone.
 Ends with a weak cliché.
8. Document for Analysis: Procedural Message (Objs. 1, 5)
Analyze the following section of a procedures memo intended to communicate procedures for
completing a certification exam. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the memo as
directed by your instructor.
Email from Ladonna Sicilia, sent 1/3/2011 at 1:45 p.m.
TO: Professional Staff
SUBJECT: Certification Preparation
We encourage you to complete the certified interrogator examination before the end of the fiscal
year. Order the review course from the CI Association. Allow approximately two weeks for delivery.
Install the software on your computer and begin taking the 12 interactive sessions. A minimum score
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
of 80 percent is required to advance to the next session. While you are completing the course, submit
your application to the CI Association. Once you have completed the course and your application has
been accepted, you can apply to take the course at a local testing center. For your information, it took
about 8 weeks for me to complete this process.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your companion web site
and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
From: Ladonna Sicilia (lsicilia@garanmfg.com)
To: Professional Staff (psup@garanmfg.com)
Subject: Procedures for Certification Preparation
Sent: 1/3/2011 1:45 p.m.
Professional Staff,
As a professional staff member, you are encouraged to become a certified interrogator by the end
of the fiscal year. All that is necessary is for you to complete the CI Association course and
examination.
We encourage you to order the course from the CI Association this week, as delivery can take up to
two weeks and the course process typically takes about eight weeks to complete. Once the course
arrives, follow these simple directions:
1. Install the software on your computer.
2. Complete each of the 12 interactive sessions.
3. Score a minimum of 80 percent on each session to advance to the next session.
4. Submit your application for certification to the CI Association while you are completing the
course.
5. Complete the course and make sure your application has been accepted.
6. Apply to take the examination at a local testing center.
Later,
Ladonna
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Should include clear opening paragraph, details, and close.
Content
Does not begin each step with an action statement and understood subject “you.”
Style
 Includes unnecessary writer-oriented language in first sentence.
 Should include an introductory statement that leads into a bulleted list that highlights each step in
the procedure for improved readability and clarity.
 Ends with a writer-oriented personal statement that is not part of the procedural message.
9. Thank-You Message: Thanks for a Favor (Objs. 1, 2)
A number of individuals have been especially helpful as you have pursued your degree, and you want to
express your appreciation. Your choices might include writing to an instructor who served as a job
reference or advised you to complete an internship program that has led to a full-time position, a
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
cooperative education supervisor who provided an exceptional experience, or a speaker in a class or
student organization meeting who has become your mentor.
Required: Compose an email message or letter expressing thanks to one of these individuals. Alternately,
your instructor may direct you to prepare an outline of a telephone conversation or the script of a voice
mail message conveying your appreciation.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your companion web site
and at the end of this guide. Content of the message will vary according to the recipient selected but
should include the following
1. Thank the individual for the contribution he/she made to your success.
2. Describe how the contribution made had helped move you toward your specific career goals.
3. Make a commitment to inform the recipient when a job is acquired (or acceptance to graduate school
arrives, etc.) and reinforce the important contribution that person has made to your personally as
well as to others.
Applications
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
Read
1. Assign students to conduct an electronic search to locate an article that deals with successful
communication in a company or organization. Have them prepare an abstract of the article that
includes the following parts: (1) article citation, (2) name of organization/company, (3) brief
description of communication technique/situation, and (4) outcome(s) of the successful
communication. As an alternative to locating an article, students could also write about a successful
communication situation in the organization or company for which they work. (Obj. 1–5)
Discuss Internet search strategies for the assignment. For instance, talk about available full-text
databases that are available online through your library. Discuss key words for searching; for instance,
“communications” will produce many hits, but narrowing it by words such as “public relations” or
“successful” will limit more closely to the desired subset of articles.
Write
2. Give students the following scenario and have them prepare the exercise listed. As the marketing
manager for Pacific Golf Supply Co. (PGS), you have just approved a credit account for Highland Lake
Golf Club, a new golf course in northern California. Send Jordan Martin, the golf pro at the club, a
letter stating that you have approved a $25,000 initial credit line. PGS offers its customers 2/10, n/30
payment terms and charges interest at an 18 percent annual rate on overdue accounts. Each quarter,
PGS reviews its outstanding accounts and offers an increase in its credit line to any customer with a
current account. The letter should confirm that the initial order of golf balls, clubs, and accessories has
been shipped via UPS ground, with an expected delivery time of 10 days. Encourage Kevin to use his
remaining $12,400 credit line to invest in quality display units. Explain that experience demonstrates
that sales increase by 25 percent when the product is displayed using your display units. Exercise
Write the credit approval/order acknowledgement letter to Jordan at 2500 Country Club Drive,
Klamath, CA 95548-1200. (Obj. 1 & 4)
One possible solution follows (see also Solution slide):
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Dear Mr. Martin:
Your order of golf balls, clubs, and accessories has been shipped via UPS ground transportation.
You should expect to receive this order in 10 days.
We are pleased to extend a $25,000 initial credit line to Highland Lake Golf Club. This credit line
offers you 2/10, n/30 payment terms and has an interest charge of 18 percent on overdue accounts.
Each quarter we review our outstanding accounts and offer increased credit lines to our customers
who maintain current accounts.
You may wish to use the remaining $12,400 of your initial credit line to invest in our quality
display units. Our experience demonstrates that your sales will increase by 25 percent when you use
these units to display products. You can choose the one best suited for your store from the models
illustrated in the enclosed catalog.
Mr. Martin, we look forward to providing the products Highland Lake Golf Club will need in the
future. Please call us whenever we may be of service to you.
Sincerely,
Student’s Name
Marketing Manager
Enclosure: Catalog
Think
3. Have students find an example of both a well written and a poorly written good-news or routine
memo, email message, or letter; analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each document; and
prepare to discuss them in class. (Obj. 1–5)
After removing identifying information, make visuals of selected messages contributed by students.
Divide the class into groups of four or five to discuss the messages and to develop a checklist for
effective writing. Initiate a class discussion, calling on each group (or a spokesperson) to share its
analysis with the class.
Speak
4. Assign students to obtain a copy of a business letter written by someone from another culture and
to identify the major differences between this letter and a traditional U.S. letter. Their report should
include information about cultural differences that might be reflected in the message style. Ask
students to create a visual of their letter and share their analysis with the class. (Obj. 1)
After removing identifying information, make visuals of selected letters and memorandums brought in
by students. Differences may be noted in (1) format [placement, use of dates, salutation, titles,
complimentary close, etc.]; (2) writing style [word choices, paragraphing, etc.]; and (3) organizational
pattern [deductive vs. inductive].
Collaborate
5. Many companies naively rely on a file of form letters composed to fit almost any conceivable
situation in order to protect against potentially poor writing and to get messages out as quickly as
possible. While these form letters may form the basis for routine communication, they often miss the
mark. Have students read and discuss the following article about a form letter that Apple sent to
would-be iPhone application developers:
www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03/15/apple_iphone_developer_form_letter/.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
After reading the letter, divide the class into groups of three or four. Each group, serving as a
company’s product development team, will compose a form letter to send to customers who asked
for changes in products or services. Using the team’s experiences and available consumer research,
the group should identify and support an innovative change of their choice (e.g., new features such as
unique ring tones, added features, or new phone design). Ask students to also consider an incentive to
try the new product/service. (Obj. 1–5)
One possible solution follows (see also Solution slide):
Dear Customer
We are pleased to announce that we now of the option of installing reverting software on
your iPhone. Some customers install an app or an operating system, try it, and then want the
option of reverting to the old system. You now have this option with the new iPhone 3.2 OS.
When we first unveiled the new iPhone 3.1 OS, some of our customers asked if they could
revert their iPhone operating systems back to version 3.0. Some customers also wanted the
reverting option for their iPhone applications. Now you can revert to any previous version
instantly with just a simple touch. Although we recommend that iPhone customers stay current
with software updates for the best user experience, you now have the option to switch back to a
previous version of the OS or an app.
Our customers asked for a change in this service and, it’s now available. Check our website at
www.syntech.com for information on how to receive the reverting software absolutely free!
Digging Deeper
1. What criteria should be used in determining whether a good- or neutral-news message would be
best communicated on paper, electronically, or verbally?
In determining channel choice, the sender should consider (a) the receiver’s reaction to the message, (b)
the importance of the message, (c) the need for personal contact, and (d) the need for a written record
of the message.
2. What considerations should be given to a message recipient’s culture when planning a good-news
or neutral-news message?
Senders should consider differences in societal values that influence social behavior, etiquette,
communication styles, and business transactions. For example, U.S. corporations value honesty while
Japanese companies value “saving face” and will say they can do something when they might not be
able to. Senders should also be aware of abbreviations, expressions, and slang that other cultures might
not understand. An indirect outline might be appropriate when writing to some cultural groups, even
when the news is good or routine. For instance, the Japanese tend generally to write in a more indirect
manner than do westerners.
3. What role does goodwill play in composing effective deductive messages?
When composing deductive messages, it is important to convey goodwill to the receiver. Deductive
messages take a direct approach, stating the main point first. Some receivers may view this as too direct
and abrupt. The sender of the message should take precautions to be tactful, avoiding any possibility of
being viewed as abrupt and insensitive. Positive language and effective transitions between points made
in direct messages can help contribute to feelings of goodwill between the sender and receiver.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Cases
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
CASE ASSIGNMENT 1: Snoop Proof Your PC
Protecting the security of data files and computer activities is high priority for individuals and businesses
alike. However, your PC is ready and able to reveal not only your data but what you’ve been doing with
your computer. Within a few hours, a snoop can determine and find the incoming and outgoing mail you
deleted, websites you visited, data you’ve entered on web forms, and even phrases you deleted from
documents. Fortunately, you can take steps to protect yourself.
Using effective password protection is a simple first step. Lock important files by using carefully
chosen passwords. The best passwords aren’t real words or dates; they use a combination of letters,
numbers, and punctuation. Knowing how to truly rid your computer of deleted and trashed files is
another important security step. Regularly clearing temporary menus and files, as well as history listings,
will assure that your recent file activities are not recorded for the would-be snoop to peruse.
An obvious way to protect your information is to encrypt sensitive information. Good encryption and
locking solutions are increasingly user friendly and inexpensive. Numerous products are available, with
the most effective tools encrypting both file contents and passwords used to access them. Encryption
usually defeats casual efforts at intrusion and complicates even advanced snooping attempts.
Cookies can also provide information from your computer to remote third parties. Cookies are short
pieces of data used by web servers to help identify the user and possibly to track a user’s browsing
habits. Cookies can tell a web server that you have been there before and can pass short bits of
information from your computer to the server. If you are concerned about being identified or about
having your activities traced, set your browser to not accept cookies or use one of the new cookie
blocking packages. Remember, though, that blocking all cookies prevents some online services from
working.
Another potential PC leak that is often overlooked is the discarded hard drive. About 150,000 hard
drives are retired each year, but many find their way back onto the market. Stories occasionally surface
about personal and corporate information turning up on used hard drives, raising concerns about
privacy and danger of identity theft. A Nevada woman bought a used computer and discovered it
contained prescription records on 2,000 customers of an Arizona pharmacy.13 In most operating
systems, simply deleting a file and even emptying it from the trash folder does not necessarily make the
information irretrievable. The information can live on until it is overwritten by new files. Even
reformatting a drive may not eradicate all data.
The most common breaches of computer privacy are committed by those who have the most
opportunity: coworkers, friends, and family members. But nameless, faceless hackers can also invade
your computer via your Internet connection. Installing a firewall can help protect you from unauthorized
access, possible file damage, and even identity theft.
Direct your students to complete at least one of the following activities:
1. Locate other articles that discuss ways to protect your computer files and activities. Prepare
an oral presentation about your findings.
Student presentations will vary based on the articles consulted. Ideas might focus on firewall
protection software, disabling cookies for Internet browsers, and encrypting important files.
2. Mark Twain once said, “There is no security in life — only opportunity.” How does this philosophy
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
3.
relate to the use of computers in an environment of inherent security risks? Prepare a one-page
essay that explains your reasoning.
Student responses might focus on the opportunities for job potential in the computer security area.
They might also focus on installing proper software and features to protect a personal computer
while avoiding overtime spent worrying about computer security.
Make a chart that summarizes the major snoop risks on your PC and actions that can be taken to
minimize each risk.
Student responses will vary but ideas might focus on always logging out, emptying the recycle bin,
deleting document and website histories, firewall protection, disabling cookies, and encrypting
important files.
CASE ASSIGNMENT 2: Zappos–Customer Service at the Heart of Attitudes and Action
This case highlights Zappos and the communication techniques used for fostering customer relations;
spotlights Tony Hsieh, Zappos’ CEO; and allows students to consider and apply concepts that have led to
the company’s success.
You just can’t get decent service these days. Companies don’t care about their customers.” Such cynical
observations are widely held today because far too many companies do, in fact, treat customers as
though they were an afterthought. This is not the case, however, at Zappos.
The name is loosely derived from zapatos, the Spanish word for shoes. The company began in 1999 as
the brainchild of Nick Swinmurn whose vision was to create a website offering the best selection in
shoes in terms of brands, styles, colors, sizes, and widths. The Las Vegas company has doubled its sales
every year since and now boasts one fifth of the $3 billion online footwear market. While shoes are
Zappos’ foundation, the company is regularly expanding their product line, which now includes clothing,
handbags, and accessories.
Superior customer service has been a major reason for Zappos’ amazing success. While the company
was not the first dot.com business to offer free shipping, CEO Tony Hsieh’s idea was to also offer free
return shipping. Customers wishing to make a return are given a link to print out a prepaid return
shipping label. The free shipping policy is a long-term retention strategy that seems to be working; on a
given day, 75 percent of Zappos shoppers are repeat customers.
The Zappos website is simple and clean. Keeping the site relatively stripped down has made it extremely
fast, even for dial-up customers. The company’s toll-free number is displayed prominently on every page
of their website, which also displays in various places that shipping is free. Many consumer questions
that previously would have necessitated a telephone call to the company are anticipated and answered
through the frequently asked questions (FAQs) section of the website. Zappos uses the Web to save
time for customers and employees, ensuring that each customer interaction is a “wow” experience.
To assure a speedy delivery after purchase, Zappos warehouses everything it sells and will not make an
item available on its website unless it is physically present in the warehouse. However, Zappos knows
that simply stocking a full line of products does not assure customer satisfaction; it’s the service that
builds customer loyalty. One way Zappos attends to customer satisfaction involves employee training.
Every new employee is required to undergo four weeks of Customer Loyalty training before starting
work in any department. “Customer service isn’t just a department—it is the entire company,”
according to the Zappos website. The company’s customer service philosophy appears to be paying off;
in a recent customer service survey conducted by the National Retail Federation, Zappos beat out
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
competitors Amazon, Land’s End, and Nordstrom for customer satisfaction.
Sources: Kane, M. (2008, April 18). New Zappos: Shoes—and gadgets to boot. CNET News. Retrieved from http://news.cnet.com/830110784_3-9921188-7.html; About Zappos.com. (2008). The Zappos story. Retrieved from http://www.zappos.com/about/zhtml; Durst, S. (2007,
March 15). Shoe in. Business 2.0. Retrieved from
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/business2/business2_archive/2006/12/01/8394993/index.htm
Activities
1. Ask students to go online to www.zappos.com and report back on how Zappos uses its
website to simplify the handling of routine claims.
2. Have students visit the Zappos website and find out more about its FAQs. They should
compare the FAQ method for obtaining product information to the traditional text format,
and then write a short, informative paper that compares the overall effect to the customer
and the company that is achieved by the two approaches.
Student responses will vary but might focus on how Zappo’s FAQ section on the site can save
customers a phone call to the company; a toll free numbers allow for easy product exchange and
other types of customer service; and customers can even print out a return request form and free
shipping label.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 1: Deductive Openings
Revise the following openings so that they are deductive.
a. In last week’s budget meeting, the controller underscored that budgets are lean this quarter.
However, she has approved your request for computer upgrades for your staff.
b. The Marion Club is a service organization that has always been held in high esteem within the
telecommunications industry. Our membership is honored to extend an invitation for you to join us as
we help the industry move forward.
c. It is rare that we receive a claim regarding a defect in our self-service photo kiosks. However,
because of our belief in our product, a sales representative will deliver a replacement.
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 5: Document for Analysis: Thank You
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Mary Kendall:
We never expected to ever have to implement the disaster contingency plan we established with
you a few years ago. The strange twists of fate that caused the levy to fail plunged our company into
potential chaos. I am pleased to see that your company effectively implemented the recovery plan as
promised.
I would like to thank you and your company for your assistance in getting our office relocated
after the break in the levy flooded our building. We appreciate you and your team arriving so quickly
and working “around the clock” to obtain new furniture and restore our computer systems. Please
communicate our appreciation to your team for their efforts.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Revision:
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 6: Document for Analysis: Claim Request
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Mr. Berkin:
When I ordered my Zeratus notebook last month, you assured me that it provided state-of the-artsecurity. After viewing the specifications, I believed in your product and your company and soon
placed my order. I received the notebook on January 12.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint and password security.
However, I often have to reboot the computer several times before I can get the notebook to
recognize my fingerprint and allow me access to my files.
I have read and followed all the instructions, and even rescanned my fingerprint several times; but
each time the notebook rarely recognizes me on the first attempt.
I would like this problem solved, either through a new computer being sent to me free of charge, or
a refund after I return this one.
Please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should resolve this problem.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Revision:
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 7: Document for Analysis: Routine Request
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter as directed
by your instructor.
Dear Ms. Fondren:
I am the Vice President of Operations for Sherman Corporation, a manufacturer of golf ball
components. We have operated plants across the Midwest for thirty years, and we are contemplating
opening a facility in the South within the next two years.
As we evaluate our operational needs and requirements, we are collecting data from various
locations we think may provide a site that will generate the maximum benefit for both Sherman and the
locale under consideration. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you could send me some information
about Knoxville and its surrounding area, including information on population demographics and major
employers, as well as a geographic description of the area. I’d also like to know about the weather,
education, and cultural opportunities in the area, and, of course, the cost of living.
Thank you for your assistance, and I look forward to your response.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Revision:
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 8: Document for Analysis: Procedural Message
Analyze the following section of a procedures memo intended to communicate procedures for replacing
a damaged badge. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the memo as directed by your
instructor.
Email from Ladonna Sicilia, sent 1/3/2011 at 1:45 p.m.
TO: Professional Staff
SUBJECT: Certification Preparation
We encourage you to complete the certified interrogator examination before the end of the fiscal
year. Order the review course from the CI Association. Allow approximately two weeks for delivery.
Install the software on your computer and begin taking the 12 interactive sessions. A minimum
score of 80 percent is required to advance to the next session. While you are completing the course,
submit your application to the CI Association. Once you have completed the course and your
application has been accepted, you can apply to take the course at a local testing center. For your
information, it took about 8 weeks for me to complete this process.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Revision:
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages
Student Handout, Chapter 6
Activity 9: Thank-You Message: Thanks for a Favor
A number of individuals have been especially helpful as you have pursued your degree, and you want to
express your appreciation. Your choices might include writing to an instructor who served as a job
reference or advised you to complete an internship program that has now led to a full-time position, a
cooperative education supervisor who provided an exceptional experience, or a speaker in a class or
student organization meeting who has become a mentor.
In pairs, compose an email message or letter expressing thanks to one of these individuals. Alternately,
your instructor may direct you to prepare an outline of a telephone conversation or the script of a voice
mail message conveying your appreciation.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Revision:
© 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.