Michael Shurtleff A: Hey mom. What is going on? B: Oh… I was just wondering why this garage was still a mess. A. I meant to clean it before practice but I did not have time. B: Well I guess you will have time when I pull you off of the team. A. Really mom…over the garage you would ruin the whole season. B. Over the garage I would ruin your whole life if I have to. Where is the love? Who is the other person in the scene in relation to me. A: Hey mom. What is going on? B: Oh… I was just wondering why this garage was still a mess. A. I meant to clean it before practice but I did not have time. B: Well I guess you will have time when I pull you off of the team. A. Really mom…over the garage you would ruin the whole season. B. Over the garage I would ruin your whole life if I have to. A: Do you know what happened to me last night? B: No idea A. Really? B. Really? A. That is not what Jill said. B. I have NO idea what you are talking about. What am I fighting for ? What is my dream and how can I make it come true in this scene? A: Do you know what happened to me last night? B: No idea A. Really? B. Really? A. That is not what Jill said. B. I have NO idea what you are talking about. A: I cannot believe you just did that? B: I am hungry…starving A: I have been looking forward to that sandwich since 8 am when I got to work. B: It is not like you can’t afford another one. A: That is not the point. That is my sandwich that you just ate. B: Sorry. What just happened? How do you feel about what just happened? Try to physicalize it and start strong. A: I cannot believe you just did that? B: I am hungry…starving A: I have been looking forward to that sandwich since 8 am when I got to work. B: It is not like you can’t afford another one. A: That is not the point. That is my sandwich that you just ate. B: Sorry. A: I hate you…I have decided that I hate you. B: You hate me. Hate is a strong word. A: But on you…it is deserved. B: Just because he is taking me to prom and not you is not a reason to hate me, is it. I mean we have been friend for years and now you hate me? Because of a prom date? A: Yep, I think I do. Humor can exist in almost any situation Find the humor that exists in the scene. Try turning the scene on its ear by finding the humor. Connect with the partner via humor. Don’t try to be funny…just find the humor…there is a difference. A: I hate you…I have decided that I hate you. B: You hate me. Hate is a strong word. A: But on you…it is deserved. B: Just because he is taking me to prom and not you is not a reason to hate me. I mean we have been friend for years and now you hate me? Because of a prom date? A: Yep, I think I do. A: Listen, Jill..I really think it is time we called this whole thing off. B: Jack the wedding is tomorrow. My whole family is waiting to see us walk down that aisle. A: I just think this is a HUGE mistake. B: Think all you want but you are getting married to me tomorrow. Like it or not. A: I can’t. I am losing my mind here. I cannot marry you. We are not right for each other. B: Right or not, we are getting married tomorrow. I don’t care if we get divorced Monday morning, but you are NOT going to humiliate me in front of everyone I know. Play the opposite of what you think should be happening. Play against the text. What ever is happening in the scene, the opposite is happening as well. A: Listen, Jill..I really think it is time we called this whole thing off. B: Jack the wedding is tomorrow. My whole family is waiting to see us walk down that aisle. A: I just think this is a HUGE mistake. B: Think all you want but you are getting married to me tomorrow. Like it or not. A: I can’t. I am losing my mind here. I cannot marry you. We are not right for each other. B: Right or not, we are getting married tomorrow. I don’t care if we get divorced Monday morning, but you are NOT going to humiliate me in front of everyone I know. A: What is your problem? B: What are you talking about? A: I think you know…why all the attitude? B: I’m sorry…I am just…tired. A: Tired? B: Yes A: That’s all? B: Yes…no that’s…I don’t want to have this conversation right now. What is new? Discover moment to moment actions If you miss events, nothing will happen and your scene will die. A: What is your problem? B: What are you talking about? A: I think you know…why all the attitude? B: I’m sorry…I am just…tired. A: Tired? B: Yes A: That’s all? B: Yes…no that’s…I don’t want to have this conversation right now. A. I have a confession. B. Hmmm…that sounds intriguing. A. I just wanted to tell you that I have really enjoyed hanging out with you lately B. Ok…where is this going? A. Nowhere…it’s just I really think I want to be more than friends. B: Oh. Wow A: Wow B: I don’t know what to say. This is NOT what I am thinking about when I am with you. I thought we were just hanging out. Give and take Give and receive Discover your wins and losses in the communication. A. I have a confession. B. Hmmm…that sounds intriguing. A. I just wanted to tell you that I have really enjoyed hanging out with you lately B. Ok…where is this going? A. Nowhere…it’s just I really think I want to be more than friends. B: Oh. Wow A: Wow B: I don’t know what to say. This is NOT what I am thinking about when I am with you. I thought we were just hanging out. A. I want that cupcake B. It is the last one. Mom did not even get one yet A. I need that cupcake B. I think you are being a bit dramatic. A. Look I will make some more for mom later, but if I don’t get that cupcake…you don’t understand something really bad is going to happen. B: I don’t want that. Take it. Just PROMISE me you will make more. A: Ok…fine…fine. Just hand it ove. Why is it important Make it more important. It has to be important or the scene falls flat. A. I want that cupcake B. It is the last one. Mom did not even get one yet A. I need that cupcake B. I think you are being a bit dramatic. A. Look I will make some more for mom later, but if I don’t get that cupcake…you don’t understand something really bad is going to happen. B: I don’t want that. Take it. Just PROMISE me you will make more. A: Ok…fine…fine. Just hand it over. A: Oh my god. Jimmy is here. B: Where? A: Over there in the food court, talking to Phoebe B: Where I don’t see him A: By the Chic-Fil-A B: Oh there….what the hell is she wearing? A: She does look skanky B: Is he…oh my god…they are kissing! A: Oh no. B: I am going to kill that boy. Where is my phone? I need a photo of this. Events equal changes, especially in the relationship You have to create the events, otherwise, nothing will happen--the scene will be dead A: Oh my god. Jimmy is here. B: Where? A: Over there in the food court, talking to Phoebe B: Where I don’t see him A: By the Chic-Fil-A B: Oh there….what the hell is she wearing? A: She does look skanky B: Is he…oh my god…they are kissing! A: Oh no. B: I am going to kill that boy. Where is my phone? I need a photo of this. A. I don’t know about this B. C’mon this will be hilarious A: You are always getting me into stupid stuff. I don’t know why I go for it. B: Know one is going to know it was us. Would you just relax. A: If we get caught I will be suspended and you will be expelled. B: This is under control ok. Would you take off your diaper and grow up? A: You grow up. This is lame. I am out. Where are you? What tension or emotion does your location create? A. I don’t know about this B. C’mon this will be hilarious A: You are always getting me into stupid stuff. I don’t know why I go for it. B: Know one is going to know it was us. Would you just relax. A: If we get caught I will be suspended and you will be expelled. B: This is under control ok. Would you take off your diaper and grow up? A: You grow up. This is lame. I am out. A: I know what your thinking. B: You do? A: I do B: Really. What am I thinking A: That I am the most beautiful person you have ever seen and that you are lucky to have a girl (boy) friend like me. B: Oh I assure you that is not what I am thinking. A: Shut up. B: I was thinking that we should go to BK for dinner. I really want a bacon double cheeseburger. A: Oh that is romantic. It 's not insincere-it’s very true to life and real. Game Playing and Role Playing is a way dealing with reality, not escaping it. For example, a teacher’s role with students in college classroom setting is different than later if they meet later at a cocktail party. A: I know what your thinking. B: You do? A: I do B: Really. What am I thinking A: That I am the most beautiful person you have ever seen and that you are lucky to have a girl (boy) friend like me. B: Oh I assure you that is not what I am thinking. A: Shut up. B: I was thinking that we should go to BK for dinner. I really want a bacon double cheeseburger. A: Oh that is romantic. A: Do you know what happened to me last night? B: No idea A. Really? B. Really? A. That is not what Jill said. B. I have NO idea what you are talking about what happened? A: I just had a really bad night. B: Bad how? A: I don’t really want to talk about it. B: You brought it up. A: Forget I said anything. Let’s just forget the whole thing. Wonder about your partner and your situation Have a secret - keep it a secret, but let it add drive and intensity to your scene. A: Do you know what happened to me last night? B: No idea A. Really? B. Really? A. That is not what Jill said. B. I have NO idea what you are talking about what happened? A: I just had a really bad night. B: Bad how? A: I don’t really want to talk about it. B: You brought it up. A: Forget I said anything. Let’s just forget the whole thing. 1. Relationship 2. Conflict 3. The moment before 4. Humor 5. Opposites 6. Discoveries 7. Communication and Competition 8. Importance 9. Find the events 10. Place 11. Game playing and Role Playing 12. Mystery and secret So your cold reads are not BORING! So you have tools to help you make a choice. So that you grab the auditors attention