Communication
and
Conflict Management
in Special Education
DoDEA
Fort Campbell, KY
March 9-10, 2010
Philip Moses, Assistant Director
Anita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist
1
“Creative minds always have been
known to survive any kind of bad
training.”
-- Anna Freud
2
3
Priorities
• Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills
• Implement effective dispute resolution processes
• Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration
• Assist states to implement dispute resolution
provisions of IDEA
• Support improved state system performance
• Compile information and data on state systems
• Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution
4
Major Activities
CADRE Website
Over 900 individual resources
CADRE Continuum of Process & Practices
Over 70 individual state/local ADR examples
RAISE DataBase
Over 240 abstracted research/practice articles
Symposia Gallery ~ All presentations materials from 2005 National
Conference on IEP Facilitation & 2006 National Symposium on
Dispute Resolution in Special Education
Español
9 translated resources, primarily directed at family members
Rich Media
Flash videos on CADRE, Listening Skills, Understanding Interests
5
Major Activities (cont)
Developing Community, Creating Partnerships &
Leveraging Resources
NPTAC/RPTAC/State PTIs/CPRCs
NASDSE/IDEA Partnerships/Project FORUM
NICHCY – National Dissemination Center
RRCs/Dispute Resolution Workgroup
COP Listservs: Mediation/ADR, State Written Complaints, Due
Process Hearings
National Symposia
First National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2000)
Beyond Mediation: The Second National Symposium on Dispute
Resolution (2002)
Moving Upstream: The Third National Symposium on Dispute
Resolution (2004)
National Symposium on IEP Facilitation (2005)
On the Road to Agreement ~ IDEA ’04 & More: The Fourth National
Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2006)
6
Major Activities (cont)
Data
SPP/APR Analysis
"Longitudinal DR Database" - Table 4 and Table 7 summaries
online (5 years of data online)
DAC
State-Specific Work
Dispute Resolution System Integration and Performance
Enhancement (DR SIPE)
Looking To The Future
Exemplar Work
7
CADRE Activities Result in…
• Earlier dispute resolution
• Vibrant communities of practice
• State dispute resolution system improvement
• Compilation of research and evaluative data
• Information on national dispute resolution use and
outcomes
• Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills
• Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution
processes
8
Workshop Objectives
• Participants will gain an awareness of the sources
and dynamics of conflict, the influence of culture
and the impact of power in addressing conflict.
• Participants will gain awareness of different styles
for approaching or managing conflict.
• Participants will gain awareness of ‘listening to
understand’ as an essential relationship and
communication skill.
• Participants will gain awareness of the difference
between ‘positions’ and ‘interests.’
9
Workshop Objectives (cont)
• Participants will become more familiar with the
continuum of special education dispute resolution
options, including innovative approaches to
prevention and early resolution.
• Participants will become more aware of skills
required to promote positive parent-professional
relationships and increase productive
communication in IEP meetings
• Participants will become more familiar with CADRE,
The National Center on Dispute Resolution in Special
Education.
10
Assumptions…
•
Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and
changing society
•
Most parent/school relationships are or can be
positive and mutually respectful
•
Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented
that facilitate productive relationships
•
Different cultures have differing perspectives on
conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached
•
Workshop participants are already skilled at
communicating, negotiating and problem-solving
11
CONFLICT
What does the word
“conflict” bring to mind?
12
Two Definitions of Conflict
Any situation in which people have apparently
incompatible interests, goals, principles, or
feelings . . .
~~~
 Expressed or repressed struggle
 Two or more people
 Interdependent relationship
 Strong emotion
 Perceived blockage of needs and/or values
13
Costs of Conflict
• Financial costs
• Educational costs: takes energy away from
instruction, can interfere with needed
consistency
• Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord
• Relationships: hurts relationships among people
who have to work together
• Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided;
bad press for special education; missed
opportunities
14
Sources of Conflict
Structure
Data
Relationships
Values
Interests
15
Types of Conflict
Relationship Conflicts
•
Occur because of repetitive negative
interactions, misperceptions and
stereotypes or poor communication
•
Often fuel disputes and lead to escalating
spiral of conflict
Types of Conflict
•
•
Data Conflicts
Occur because of lack of information,
misinformation, disagreement on which
data is relevant and how to interpret
competing assessment procedures
Some data conflicts are unnecessary caused by poor communication; others
may be genuine incompatibilities
associated with data collection,
interpretation or communication
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Types of Conflict
Interest Conflicts
Occur when a person believes that in order to
satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of
another must be sacrificed
Interest-based conflicts may occur over
•
substantive issues (such as money, physical
resources, time, etc.)
•
procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be
resolved); and/or
•
psychological issues (perceptions of trust,
fairness, desire for participation, respect, etc.)
28
Types of Conflict
Structural Conflicts
Caused by forces external to the people
Forces external to the people:
• limited physical resources
• authority
• geographic constraints
• time
• organizational changes, etc.
29
Types of Conflict
Value Conflicts
•
Value disputes arise when people attempt to
force one set of values on others or lay claim to
exclusive value systems that do not allow for
different beliefs [or the perception of same]
•
Occur around incompatible belief systems
•
Often create the most intractable conflicts
30
Three Kinds of Interests
Procedural
31
Power vs. Rights vs. Interests
Power
Power
Rights
Rights
Interests
Interests
32
Cultural Competence
& Diversity
• Recognize that many people communicate and
process information differently
• Check-in with yourself, monitor behavior
• Allow time for reflection, don’t always fill silent
spaces
• Engage community leaders and cultural liaisons
• Actions and words don’t always have impact we
intend
33
Cultural Awareness
Cultures have different ways of responding to conflict.
Culture shapes status, relationships and social
behaviors with regard to conflict resolution.
Recognize that many people communicate and process
information differently.
34
Cultural Competence

Strategies to address cultural competency range from
the policy to the program to the personal level.

Cultural competency is a process,
 not an outcome.
35
Moving from Cultural Competence
to Cultural Reciprocity
Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
You can only practice cultural reciprocity if you listen
with the heart…for the heart…and share your heart.
36
Power Imbalances
Inherent in Conflict

Actual and perceived power may differ

Participants may not be equipped or supported
to participate effectively

Cultural differences may contribute

Recognize there are formal and informal forms of
power
37
Addressing Power Imbalances
•
Advocacy
Cultural Competence
•
Student Involvement
•
Well-facilitated processes and trained participants
•
Well-built relationships
•
Skilled neutral third party helpers
•
38
The Five Conflict
Handling Modes
Personal Goals
Controlling
Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Relationship Goals
39
Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument
Avoiding
Personal Goals
• What is it:
•What –
is Sidestep,
it:
postpone, or withdraw
Sidestep,
frompostpone,
the issue or
forwithdraw
the present
from the issue for the present
• When
•When
to useto
it?use it?
– When
potential
outweighs
When
potential
harm harm
outweighs
benefits
to resolve
benefits
to resolve
When
time istime
needed
to collect
– When
is needed
to collect
information
or coolordown
information
cool down
Relationship Goals
40
Personal Goals
Accommodating
• What is it?
– Sacrifice your own personal goals to
satisfy the concerns of the other(s)
– Yield to another point of view
• When to use it?
– When relationships are most
important
– Reach a quick, temporary solution
Relationship Goals
41
Personal Goals
Controlling
• What is it?
Pursue own ends without agreement of
others
Achieving one’s goals is paramount
• When to use it?
When unpopular actions must be
implemented
When dire consequences will be the
result of inaction
Relationship Goals
42
Personal Goals
Compromising
• What is it?
– Quick, mutually acceptable
alternatives
– Both parties give up something
• When to use it?
– When two parties of equal power
are strongly committed to mutually
exclusive goals
– To achieve temporary solutions to
complex issues
Relationship Goals
43
Personal Goals
Collaborating
• What is it?
– Identifying concerns of each person and
finding alternatives that meet both sets of
needs
– Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs
and concerns of both people
• When to use it?
– When relationships & issues are both
important
– To gain commitment and acceptance for a
high-quality decision
Relationship Goals
44
The Five Conflict Handling Modes
Collaborating
Controlling
Personal Goals
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Relationship Goals
45
Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument
Listening
46
“Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.”
Stephen Covey, “Habit 5”
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
47
High Risk Responses
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Ordering
Threatening
Moralizing
Advice
Logical Argument
Questions
7. Judging
8. Praising
9. Name-Calling
10. Diagnosing
11. Reassuring
12. Diverting
48
Certain Responses …
•
•
•
•
•
Derail the conversation
Take the focus off the other person
Block the other person from finding a
solution
Distance you from the other person
Diminish the other person’s motivation
and sense of being valued
49
50
Two Types of Stances
TELLING
LEARNING
Judgment
Curiosity
Hubris
Humility
Pretense
Presence
Dismiss
Acknowledge
51
Communication Loop
Sender
Receiver
Message
Filtering Lenses
Reflective Listening
52
EARS
The Chinese characters that make up
the verb “to listen” tell us something
about this skill.
53
Listening to Understand
Following the thoughts and feelings of others
to understand what they are saying from their
perspective, frame of reference, or point of
view.
Dignity and Respect
54
Attending & Following Skills
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Environment
Posture
Contact (distance, eyes, touch)
Acknowledgment Responses
Gestures
Door Opening Questions
Open-Ended Questions
Interested Silence
55
Responding Skills
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Reflecting Feeling
Reflecting Content
Reflecting Meaning (linking feelings and
content)
Validating
Empathizing
Clarifying
Summarizing
56
Listening Video
http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm
57
Listening to Understand
Instruction:
Identify a situation/issue that you
have/had strong thoughts and feelings
about and are comfortable sharing here
today (pick manageable issue).
58
Listening is a disciplined skill
•
•
You can’t do two things at once if one
of them is listening well.
•
You can’t listen if you are trying to
figure out what to say.
•
You can’t listen if you are assuming.
•
59
Listening
Listening for the heart… with the heart…
60
“The most cost-effective component
of a dispute resolution system is
listening.”
Mary Rowe
MIT Ombuds & Scholar
61
Positions & Interests
http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm
62
Positions & Interests
Position
• Specific solution proposed to resolve problem
- the “WHAT”
Interest
• Underlying real need or desire that gives a
position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations,
values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns)
- the “WHY”
63
64
Finding the Interests
Stage 1
Position A
Position B
Stage 2
Issues
Issues
Stage 3
Stage 4
Interests and positive
intentions
Options for
agreement
Interests and positive
intentions
Common
ground
Options for
agreement
Position:
One person’s solution to the problem or situation.
Often a self-serving solution
Issue:
Elements or subject matter of the problem.
Elements at issue between the people that must be negotiated in order to reach agreement.
Interest:
Factors that motivate or drive people to reach agreement and take positions
Interests underlie positions in that a person’s positions are intended to meet and address their
interests (hopes, wants, needs, fears, concerns)
65
Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation,
Finding the Interests
• What need is the person taking this
position attempting to satisfy?
• What is motivating the person?
• What is the person trying to accomplish?
• What is the person afraid will happen if a
demand is not fulfilled?
66
Eliciting Interest Questions
• “What would having that do for you?”
• “What would that mean to you?”
• “What would be different if you had that?”
• "Why is that solution so important for you?“
• “Why are you suggesting…?”
• "What if that did/didn't happen?”
• “How will you be affected by…?”
67
What are the Possible
Underlying Interests?
• “We don’t provide 30 minutes of speech
therapy 5 days a week.”
• “We want an American Sign Language
interpreter in that English Lit class.”
• “I demand an apology now!”
68
Interest-based Negotiation
• Aims not to change the other person, but to change
negotiation behavior.
• Shifts from ”your position versus mine” to “you and I
versus the problem”.
• Involves a mutual exploration of interests to yield
more creative options.
• Uses objective criteria.
Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-bassed negotiation,
CCSEA 2001 Fall Conference and AGM. Surry B.C., Canada. CCSEA;
Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes
69
Structure of Problem Solving
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Sharing Information
Identifying Interests
Generating Options
Evaluating Potential Solutions
Reaching Agreement
70
Responding to High Energy People
Response strategies
• Notice and acknowledge “background noise” and capacity
• Allow self disclosure
• Limit personal attacks
• Listening (matching/mirroring energy, giving space)
Understanding before moving forward
Valuing parents as participants
Authenticity
• Asking Questions (shifting from emotions to cognition)
• Other strategies?
71
72
IDEA Dispute Resolution
Processes Comparison Chart
Mediation
Due Process
Complaint
Resolution Process
State Complaint
Who can initiate the
process?
Parent or LEA/Public
Agency, but must be
voluntary for both
Parent or LEA/Public
Agency
LEA schedules the
resolution meeting
upon receipt of a due
process complaint
unless the parties
agree to waive or use
mediation
Any individual or
organization, including
those from out of state
What is the time limit
for filing?
None specified
2 years of when the
party knew or should
have known of the
problem (or a State
law specified timeline)
with limited exceptions
Triggered by a parent’s
due process complaint
1 year from the date of
the alleged violation
What issues can be
resolved?
Any matter under part
300, including matters
arising prior to the
filing of a due process
complaint (there are
exceptions)
Any matter relating to
the identification,
evaluation or
educational placement
or provision of a free
appropriate public
education (there are
exceptions)
Same as the issues
raised in the parent’s
due process complaint
Alleged violations of
Part B of IDEA of Part
300
73
IDEA Dispute Resolution
Processes Comparison Chart
What is the timeline
for resolving the issues?
Mediation
Due Process Complaint
Resolution Process
State Complaint
None specified
45 days from the end of
the resolution period
unless specific
extensions to the
timeline are granted.
LEA must convene a
resolution meeting
within 15 days of
receipt of the parent’s
due process complaint,
unless the parties agree
in writing to waive the
meeting or agree to use
mediation.
60 days from receipt of
the complaint unless an
extension is permitted.
Resolution period is 30
days from receipt of the
parent’s due process
complaint unless the
parties agree otherwise
or the parent or LEA
fails to participate in
the resolution meeting
or the LEA fails to
convene the resolution
meeting within 15 days
of receipt of the
parent’s due process
complaint
74
IDEA Dispute Resolution
Processes Comparison Chart
Who resolves the issue?
Mediation
Due Process Complaint
Resolution Process
State Complaint
Parent and LEA/Public
Agency with a mediator
Hearing Officer
Parent and LEA/Public
Agency
SEA
The process is voluntary
and both parties must
agree to any resolution
Both parties must agree
to any resolution
75
Purpose of
Facilitated IEP Meetings
To improve the process of the IEP
meeting in order to achieve an IEP
that is in the best interest of the
student.
76
What Is a
Facilitated Meeting?
• A facilitated IEP meeting uses a trained, neutral third
party to guide the meeting. This person is
responsible for the process of the meeting – not the
outcome. “The facilitator encourages full
participation, promotes mutual understanding and
cultivates shared responsibility.”
Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by
Sam Kaner, page 32
77
Role of Facilitator
Guides the group through the process
• Encourages participation by everyone in the group
• Keeps the group focused on the issues - not on
personalities
• Seeks clarity on issues
• Avoids expressing views or solutions
• Facilitates problem solving and completion of the
task
78
You Should Have A
Facilitator When…
• There is a history of difficult meetings, bad
relationships, or unresolved differences.
• You know the group will face difficult
decisions.
• One team member is requesting outside
assistance.
• There will be a great amount of new
information presented or it is an initial IEP
meeting.
79
You Should Not Be
the Facilitator When…
• You have to play a dual role –
Facilitator/Leader or Facilitator/Expert.
• You have a close, personal relationship or a
negative personal history with a key
participant.
• You know you are biased.
• You are uncomfortable dealing with emotions
and you suspect the meeting will be
emotional.
80
Internal vs. External
Facilitators
• Advantages
• Disadvantages
81
Other Roles
Timekeeper: Communicates time frames
Recorder: Documents discussions & decisions
(minutes); collects additional handouts for the
file; submits minutes to appropriate source
IEP Writer: Focuses on capturing the group’s
decisions & recording it on the IEP form
82
IEP Meeting Preparation
Purpose
Plan
Participation
Process
Parking Lot
83
Parent Contact Checklist
• What to anticipate during the IEP meeting.
• Do you have issues outside the scope of the IEP that
you would like to include in the agenda?
• Do you have any information (evaluations, etc.) you
would like the other members of the team to review
before the meeting?
• What is your time allotment for the meeting?
• Explain role of facilitator.
• Is there anyone you would like to bring with you to
the meeting?
• Will the student participate? (as appropriate)
• Do you need special accommodations?
84
Teacher Contact Checklist
•
•
•
•
What to anticipate during the IEP meeting.
Explain role of facilitator.
What is your time allotment for the meeting?
Are there areas you want to emphasize within the
IEP?
• Are there issues that may be “new information” or
“hot topics” to the parent?
• Do you have any personal concerns regarding
the child, parent, or meeting?
85
IEP Meeting Set-Up
Appropriate school records
Paperwork: IEP, blank copies, minutes
Name cards
Food, water, cups, tissues
Extra paper and pens
Someone to greet participants
Flip chart, markers, tape
86
Qualities of an
Effective Facilitator
• Big Ears
To listen to what is being said and what is between the
words, to hear the foundation of consensus being built
even before the group can hear it
• Clear eyes
To read body language and other visual cues the group is
offering
• Small mouth
To keep your opinions about the content to yourself (if
that is your only role)
• Strong Heart
To have concern that each person be treated with
respect, and to have compassion for the challenge of
people working together
87
Building an Agenda
• The agenda specifies the action items the team must
address.
• The parent and school jointly develop the agenda or
facilitator proposes.
• Agenda is reviewed at the start of the meeting.
• Each participant is invited to add to the agenda.
• Discuss and agree upon priorities, time limits.
• Elicit group expectations.
88
Managing the Meeting
• Set and stick with beginning and ending times
• Work through the agenda priorities
– Evaluations, Eligibility, IEP, Placement
• Table issues that cannot be resolved
• Refocus, restate, reflect, redirect
• Return to unresolved issues
• Agree to disagree
89
Decision Making
Groups need decision making processes to
achieve results and create action plans
– Voting
– Straw Polls
– Consensus
90
Consensus
• Define “Consensus.” What is it? How do you get it?
• All people who have a stake in an issue work
together toward common understanding &
agreement that satisfies all their interests.
• Consensus is not compromise.
• Consensus - a decision making process to develop
unanimous acceptance of a proposal
• Acceptance can range from minimal tolerance to
enthusiastic support
• No member finds the decision egregious or
unacceptable
91
Consensus Building Method
 Clearly state a proposal
 Verify that everyone understands proposal
 Determine support for proposal
 Round robin - solicit opinions from members
 Thumbs up, down, or sideways
 Five fingers - 1 finger = unacceptable, 5 fingers =
highly support, fist = veto
 Modify proposal until consensus is reached or
consensus to table and move on
92
Consensus Building Exercise
 Each table is a family
 Select appropriate roles: parents, teens, children,
infants, grandparents, etc.
 As a family, you need to decide where you’ll spend
your vacation.
 You have 7 days for vacation
 The family must travel together and participate in
all activities
 You have a budget of $5,000
93
Difficult Dynamics Found
Within Groups







Domination by a highly verbal member
Low participation by the entire group
Two people locking horns
Someone becomes repetitive
Failure to start and end on time
Distractions and interruptions
The group gets “stuck”
94
Positive Parent-Professional
Relationships
What educators can do:
• Keep promises and ensure confidentiality
• Be hopeful and honest
• Help parents identify strengths and choices
• Model problem-solving skills
• View parents as equal partners
• Support parents as child’s best advocates
• Value point of view and preferences of family
95
Positive Parent-Professional
Relationships
What parents can do:
• Reinforce at home what your child is learning at
school; follow through on your commitments
• Be honest about what you don’t understand and
what you need to know
• Recognize professionals’ commitment and expertise
and thank them when they are helpful
• Recognize that they are often limited by the systems
in which they work
• Commit to working to find solutions to
disagreements
96
Educating Our Children Together:
A Sourcebook for Effective
Family-School-Community Partnerships
Strategy 1:
Strategy 2.
Strategy 3.
Strategy 4.
Strategy 5.
Strategy 6.
Strategy 7.
Strategy 8.
Creating a family -friendly school environment
Building a support infrastructure
Encouraging family involvement
Developing family-friendly communication
Supporting family involvement on the home front
Supporting education opportunities for families
Creating family-school-community partnerships
Preparing educators to work with families
97
What did I hear?
What does it mean to me?
• Things I want to remember
• Questions I have
• What does this mean to students?
98
99
Some material from this
PowerPoint presentation was developed
by CADRE Partners, including:
Greg Abell
Tim Hedeen
Michael Opuda
IDEA Partnership DR Workgroup
DR Institute at Univ. of Delaware
ALLIANCE of Parent Centers
WI Special Ed Mediation System
100