WELCOME BACK TO TDM FACILITATOR TRAINING Preview of Day 2: Role, Skills, Responsibilities of a TDM Facilitator 1 THE ROLE OF THE FACILITATOR Handout 7-1 • FOCUSES THE GROUP’S ENERGY ON A COMMON TASK – REACH A DECISION ABOUT A PLACEMENT ISSUE THAT PROTECTS…PROVIDES SAFETY – LEAST RESTRICTIVE/INTRUSIVE MANNER POSSIBLE • ASSURES THE PURPOSE OF THE MEETING IS UNDERSTOOD • ASSISTS ALL PARTICIPANTS TO BE INVOLVED • WITH THE SOCIAL WORKER, MOVES THE GROUP DISCUSSION TOWARD DETERMINING THE PLACEMENT/CUSTODY RECOMMENDATION FOR THE CHILD • PROTECTS IDEAS AND INDIVIDUALS FROM ATTACK OR BEING IGNORED – PROVIDES A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT TO PERMIT OPEN COMMUNCATION • IS SENSITIVE AND RESPONSIVE TO NON-VERBAL CUES; MANAGES 2 CONFLICT AND EMOTIONS THE TDM FACILITATOR… • PERIODICALLY SUMMARIZES, CLARIFIES, REFRAMES AND INDENTIFIES AREAS OF AGREEMENT TO ASSIST THE GROUP •IS AN INFORMATION RESOURCE FOR THE GROUP – KNOWLEDGEABLE OF LAWS; AGENCY POLICIES & PROCEDURES; SERVICES; BEST PRACTICE; AND MONITORS COMPLIANCE WITH STANDARDS •MOVES THE GROUP THROUGH THE PROBLEM SOLVING AND DECISION MAKING PROCESS – MAINTAINING REASONABLE TIMEFRAMES •MANAGES THE PROCESS AND STRUCTURE OF THE MEETING, RECOGNIZES THE FAMILY AND SW AS THE CONTENT EXPERTS •IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIGH QUALITY DECISIONS, INTERVENING WHEN NECESSARY AS AN EXPERIENCED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE 3 PARTICIPANT THE TDM FACILITATOR… • STRIVES TO DEVELOP CONSENSUS DRIVEN DECISIONS • ACCURATELY RECORDS INFORMATION AND DECISIONS, PROVIDING A COPY OF THE SAFETY/ ACTION STEPS AT THE COMPLETION OF THE STAFFING TO ALL PARTICIPANTS • MODELS SUPPORTIVE, NON-THREATENING, RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR • IS COMMITTED TO ENCOURAGING THE PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF AGENCY STAFF • WHEN STRENGTHS & GROWTH AREAS ARE OBSERVED WITH AGENCY PARTICIPANTS THEY SHARE THEIR PERCEPTIONS WITH WORKER & SUPERVISOR 4 AS YOU READ THROUGH WHAT IS A TDM FACILITATOR (7-1), CODE EACH ROLE WITH YOUR ANTICIPATED LEVEL OF EASE OR DIFFICULTY: • VC = Very Challenging • SC = Somewhat Challenging • NP = No Problem •S = This is one of my Strengths 5 A REALISTIC PREVIEW OF A TDM FACILITATOR POSITION Handout 7-2 • Spokesperson • No Case Load • Experienced & Skilled • The Power Of Group Process • Demonstrate Values • Energizing/ Exhausting • Manage Difficult Behaviors • Monitor & Coach Staff • Prepared & Focused Punctual & Available To Cover Any & All Meetings 6 Personal Awareness It is essential that facilitators are aware of their impact on the group Facilitators should be interested not interesting 7 FACILITATOR LEADERSHIP CHARACTERISTICS Handout 7-3 BELIEF IN GROUP PROCESS ABILITY TO MODEL – BE INVENTIVE & CREATIVE ABLE TO BE OPEN STAMINA TO STICK WITH THE GROUP ABLE TO COPE WITH ATTACKS ABLE TO LEAD W/O NEED TO BE FOCUS OF ATTENTION SELF-AWARENESS CULTURAL RESPONSIVENESS 8 Activity Rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 10 1 – Does Not Describe Me 10 – Describes Me Completely 9 FREQUENT NEEDS OF FACILITATORS NOT GOOD, NOT BAD…UNLESS THEY DRAW FOCUS, GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT FROM THE GROUP. Handout 7-4 LOOK GOOD FEEL CONFIDENT/ SIGNIFICANT BE LIKED…LOVED BE RESPECTED TO BE RIGHT RESCUE AND SAVE PRAISE AND RECOGNITION POWER AND CONTROL 10 EXERCISE What Are The First Things That Come To Your Mind About………? 11 PERSONAL ASSESSMENT OF BEHAVIORS Handout 8-1 Assess yourself for when the meeting is going well. Repeat the assessment (using a different writing implement) for a meeting where you are feeling stressed/ the meeting is in crisis/ you’re feeling threatened / defensive. 12 ACTIVITY! Line up in alphabetical order by your favorite movie or the last movie you saw 13 SOME COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR EFFECTIVE FACILITATION Handout 8-2 • • • • • • • • • • • • ACTIVE LISTENING CLARIFYING COLLABORATING CONFRONTING CREDITING EMPATHIZING ENCOURAGING ESTABLISHING RAPPORT HARMONIZING INTERPRETING VERBAL STATEMENTS INTERPRETING NONVERBAL CUES LINKING • • • • • • • • • NEGOTIATING PARAPHRAZING REALITY TESTING REFLECTINGMIRRORING RELIEVING TENSION SILENCE STRENGTH-BASED INTERVIEWING SUMMARIZING SUPPORTING 14 AS YOU READ THROUGH SOME FACILITATION SKILLS (8-2), CODE EACH ROLE WITH YOUR ANTICIPATED LEVEL OF EASE OR DIFFICULTY: • VC = Very Challenging • SC = Somewhat Challenging • NP = No Problem • S = This is one of my Strengths 15 REFRAMING / CLARIFYING / REFLECTING Handout 8-3 • HE’LL NEVER DO THAT • SHE CAN’T STAND ME • I’M TIRED OF HER LYING TO ME • HE NEVER DOES WHAT HE’S TOLD • I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH HER • SHE NEVER LISTENS • HE’S A LIAR • HE’S A DRUNK • I’M TIRED OF HIS ROTTEN ATTITUDE • HE ALWAYS TALKS BACK • SHE FLIRTS WITH MY HUSBAND 16 SO… HOW DO WE STAY TRUE TO BEST PRACTICE FACILITATION SKILLS WHEN THERE ARE CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS PRESENTING IN THE TDM MEETING? 17 HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION, DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY Handout 9-1 ♥ ESTABLISH AND REFER TO GROUND RULES ♥ KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE GOAL: TO MAKE THE BEST POSSIBLE DECISION THAT PROTECTS THE CHILD(REN) WHILE BEING LEAST INTRUSIVE/ RESTRICTIVE ♥ LISTEN/ HEAR ♥ ACKNOWLEDGE THE EMOTION AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND ♥ EXPLAIN THE PURPOSE OF THE MEETING 18 HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION, DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY Handout 9-1 ♥ RECOGNIZE THE FAMILY’S EXPERTISE ♥ COMMUNICATE COOPERATIVE INTENTIONS ♥ CLARIFY AREAS OF DISAGREEMENT & DIFFERENCES ♥ IDENTIFY AREAS OF AGREEMENT ♥ ENCOURAGE THE PERSON TO DECRIBE THEIR EMOTION, IF THEY ARE ABLE 19 HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION, DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY Handout 9-1 ♥ ENCOURAGE UNDERSTANDING ♥ STAY FLEXIBLE AND ASSIST THE GROUP TO DO THE SAME ♥ PROVIDE TISSUES, WATER ♥ NEGOTIATE OVER ISSUES 20 ♥ INTERRUPT ♥ TAKE IT PERSONALLY DON’T ♥ BE CRITICAL OF THE PERSON; JUDGE, LABEL, ACCUSE, INSULT ♥ SEE IDEAS AND DECISIONS AS WIN/ LOSE ♥ ACT TOO QUICKLY ♥ GET TOO CONCERNED 21 WHAT CAN I DO WHEN… AN INDIVIDUAL IS EXHIBITING DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR Handout 9-2 When it is a staff member you might want to approach the person in private, point out the problem, discuss and coach them in more desirable behavior. Approach as an ally, not as an authority. 22 WHAT TO DO WHEN AN INDIVIDUAL IS EXHIBITING DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR Handout 9-2 •Try not to judge the behavior as right or wrong •Attempt to maintain the balance between protecting the group from the distracting behavior and protecting the individual from undue attack •Accept the behavior. Describe it. Ask about it •Legitimize their feelings, perceptions or rights •Refer to the ground rules if needed. •Allow the group to self-monitor, if able 23 BE PREPARED FOR…AND OUR IDEAS ON HOW TO RESPOND Handout 9-3 • Workers unprepared • Disorganized, little or incorrect information • Workers not coming with recommendation • Staff not “owning” decision--win-lose mentality 24 BE PREPARED FOR…AND OUR IDEAS ON HOW TO RESPOND Handout 9-3 • Challenges to you personally, usually from supervisors • Conflicting information from agency staff and other professionals • Behaviors from agency staff and other professionals that isn’t “professional” 25 TDM IS A PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Handout 9-4 Believe in the group’s ability to be effective Be respectful and demonstrate courteous behavior to all Watch…Listen…Communicate…Recognize…Build…Support Know your “hot buttons” Stay open and flexible and creative Maintain your energy throughout the meeting 26 DO’s and DON’Ts: TDM & DV Handout 9-5 DO • Examine your personal feelings and awareness about domestic violence • Recognize the reality of domestic violence in many of the families we serve • Ensure you get formal DV training for self, and advocate for all agency staff to receive • Identify behavioral (verbal and nonverbal) and physical cues by meeting participants which could indicate domestic violence • When possible, evaluate who will be present during the TDM meeting and determine your response in advance 27 DO • • • • • • Assess the safety of all participants (especially the survivor) both during and after the TDM meeting Create a climate in which the survivor can speak honestly and safely Be alert and responsive to threats, intimidation and anger from the batterer during meetings, however subtle Remember: the best way to keep children safe is to keep the non-offending parent safe Treat the identified person who batters as a parent and not as a person who batterers Know a range of options for managing the meeting, i.e. breaking, separating, telephone conferencing, written communication etc. 28 DO • • • • • • Be respectful, supportive and empowering of the adult survivor Dialogue around safety planning with adult survivor for self and children Assess and provide for concrete and immediate needs (e.g. rent, transportation) Consider all resources and be creative Ensure planning holds the perpetrator responsible and accountable Develop collaboration with DV experts. Inform DV advocates of the agency’s TDM process and ask for their assistance in training, attendance and identifying resources 29 DO’s and DON’Ts TDM & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Handout 9-5 PLEASE DON’T • • • • Allow blaming and/or shaming Believe the only way to provide safety is to remove victims from the home Violate any protective/ court orders Have preconceived plans or decisions for DV situations 30 SUGGESTED FORMAT FOR PRE- TDM MEETING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHECK IN 31 HAVE A GOOD & RESTFUL EVENING DAY 3 BEGINS AT 9AM SHARP SEE YOU THEN 32