1 PowerPoint slides prepared by Leonard R. Mendola, PhD Touro College McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 2 Chapter 9: Peers, Romantic Relationships, and Life Styles Outline • EXPLORING PEER RELATIONS – Peer Relations – Friendship – Loneliness • ADOLESCENT GROUPS – Groups in Childhood and Adolescence – Cliques and Crowds – Youth Organizations McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 3 Chapter 9: Peers, Romantic Relationships, and Life Styles Outline • GENDER AND CULTURE – Gender – Socioeconomic Status and Ethnicity – Culture • DATING AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS – – – – – McGraw-Hill Functions of Dating Types of Dating and Developmental Changes Emotion, Adjustment and Romantic Relationships Romantic Love and Its Construction Gender and Culture Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 4 Chapter 9: Peers, Romantic Relationships, and Life Styles Outline • EMERGING ADULT LIFESTYLES – Single Adults – Cohabiting Adults – Married Adults – Divorced Adults – Gay Male and Lesbian Adults McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 5 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Relations – What functions do peer groups serve? – How are family and peer relations linked? – How extensively do adolescents engage in conformity? – What kinds of statuses do peers have? • Peer Group Functions – Adolescents have strong needs to be liked and accepted by friends and the larger peer group. – To many adolescents, how they are seen by peers is the most important aspect of their lives. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 6 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peers – Individuals who are about the same age or maturity level. – Same-age peer interaction serves a unique role in U.S. culture. – Age grading would occur even if schools were not graded and adolescents were left alone to determine the composition of their own societies. – One of the most important functions of the peer group is to provide a source of information about the world outside the family. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 7 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Contexts – Peer interaction is influenced by contexts, which can include the type of peer the adolescent interacts with. • • • • • McGraw-Hill An acquaintance A crowd A clique A friend A romantic partner Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 8 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Contexts (Continued) – Peer interaction is also influenced by the situation or location where they are. • • • • • • • McGraw-Hill School Neighborhood Community center Dance Religious setting Sporting event Culture (Brown & Larson, 2009; Brown & others, 2008) Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 9 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Individual Difference Factors – Among the wide range of individual differences that can affect peer relations are personality traits. – Other individual differences include: • How open the adolescent is to peer influence. • The status/power of the adolescent versus the status/power of the other adolescent or adolescent peer group (Brown & Larson, 2009; Brown & others, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 10 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Developmental Changes in Time Spent with Peers – Boys and girls spend an increasing amount of time in peer interaction during middle and late childhood and adolescence. – By adolescence, peer relations occupy large chunks of an individual’s life. – In one investigation, over the course of one weekend, young adolescent boys and girls spent more than twice as much time with peers than with parents (Condry, Simon, & Bronfenbrenner, 1968). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 11 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Are Peers Necessary for Development? – Good peer relations might be necessary for normal social development in adolescence. – Social isolation is linked with many different forms of problems and disorders, ranging from delinquency and problem drinking to depression (Dishion, Piehler, & Myers, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 12 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Positive and Negative Peer Relations – Through peer interaction children and adolescents learn the symmetrical reciprocity mode of relationships. – Adolescents explore the principles of fairness and justice by working through disagreements with peers. – They also learn to be keen observers of peers’ interests and perspectives in order to smoothly integrate themselves into ongoing peer activities. – Adolescents learn to be skilled and sensitive partners in intimate relationships. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 13 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Positive and Negative Peer Relations (Continued) – Being rejected or overlooked by peers leads some adolescents to feel lonely or hostile. – Rejection and neglect by peers are related to an individual’s subsequent mental health and criminal problems (Bukowski, Brendgen, & Vitaro, 2007). – Time spent hanging out with antisocial peers in adolescence was a stronger predictor of substance abuse than time spent with parents (Nation & Heflinger, 2006). – Deviant peer affiliation was related to adolescents’ depressive symptoms (Connell & Dishion, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 14 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Family-Peer Linkages • Parents have little authority over adolescents’ choices in some areas but more authority of choices in other areas. • Adolescents do show a strong motivation to be with their peers and become independent. • Adolescents live in a connected world with parents and peers, not a disconnected one (Allen & Antonishak, 2008;Doge & others, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 15 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Family-Peer Linkages (Continued) • What are some of the ways the worlds of parents and peers are connected? • Parents’ choices of neighborhoods, churches, schools, and their own friends influence the pool from which their adolescents select possible friends (Cooper & Ayers-Lopez, 1985). • Parents can model or coach their adolescents in ways of relating to peers. • Secure attachment to parents is related to the adolescent’s positive peer relations (Allen & Antonishak, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 16 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Pressure • Young adolescents conform more to peer standards than children do. • Around the 8th and 9th grades, conformity to peers— especially to their antisocial standards—peaks (Berndt, 1979; Brown & Larson, 2009; Brown & others, 2008). • A recent study revealed that 14 to 18 years of age is an especially important time for developing the ability to stand up for what one believes and resist peer pressure to do otherwise (Steinberg & Monahan, 2007). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 17 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Pressure (Continued) • Which adolescents are most likely to conform? • Cohen & Prinstein, 2006; Prinstein, 2007; Prinstein & Dodge, 2008 have concluded the following adolescents are more likely to conform: • Adolescents who are uncertain about their social identity. • Have low self-esteem. • Have high social anxiety. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 18 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Statuses • The term sociometric status is used to describe the extent to which children and adolescents are liked or disliked by their peer group. – Assessed by asking children to rate how much they like or dislike each of their classmates. – Also assessed by asking children and adolescents to nominate the peers they like and those they like the least. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 19 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Statuses (Continued) • Developmentalists have distinguished five types pf peer statuses (Wentzel & Asher, 1995). • Popular children • Are frequently nominated as a best friend and are rarely disliked by their peers. • Average children • Receive an average number of both positive and negative nominations from their peers. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 20 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Peer Statuses (Continued) • Neglected children • Are infrequently nominated as a best friend but are not disliked by their peers. • Rejected children • Are infrequently nominated as someone’s best friend and are actively disliked by their peers. • Controversial children • Are frequently nominated both as someone’s best friend and as being disliked. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 21 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • An analysis by John Coie (2004, pp. 252-253) provided three reasons why aggressive peer-rejected boys have problems in social relationships. 1. Rejected, aggressive boys are more impulsive and have problems sustaining attention. As a result, they are more likely to be disruptive of ongoing activities in the classroom. 2. Rejected, aggressive boys are more emotionally reactive. They are aroused to anger more easily and probably have more difficulty calming down once aroused. Because of this they are more prone to become angry at peers and attack them verbally and physically. 3. Rejected children have fewer social skills in making friends and maintaining positive relationships with peers. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 22 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Not all rejected children are aggressive (Hymel, McDougall, & Renshaw, 2004). • • Approximately 10 to 20 percent of rejected children are shy. Much of the peer status research involves samples from middle and late childhood, and in some cases early adolescence, but not late adolescence. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 23 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Social Cognition and Emotion • Social cognitive skills and social knowledge of adolescents are important aspects of successful peer relations. So is the ability to manage and regulate one’s emotions. • Social cognition involves thoughts about social matters (Smetana & Villalobos, 2009). • A distinction can be made between knowledge and process in social cognition. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 24 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Social Cognition • As children move into adolescence, they acquire more social knowledge. • There is considerable individual variation in how much one adolescent knows about what it takes to make friends. • From a social cognitive perspective, children and adolescents may have difficulty in peer relations because they lack appropriate social cognitive skills (Bibok, Carpendale, & Lewis, 2008: Mueller & others, 2008; Rah & Parke, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 25 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship Generation of Alternative Solutions and Adaptive Planning by Negative- and Positive-Peer-Status Boys Fig. 9.1 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 26 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Emotion • Not only does cognition play an important role in peer relations, so does emotion. • Moody and emotionally negative individuals experience greater rejection by peers. • Emotionally positive individuals are more popular (Saarni & others, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 27 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Strategies for Improving Social Skills • Conglomerate strategies (coaching) – Involves the use of a combination of techniques, rather than a single approach, to improve adolescents’ social skills. – A conglomerate strategy may consist of: • • • • McGraw-Hill Modeling of appropriate social skills. Discussion. Reasoning about the social skills. Reinforcement for enactment in actual social situations. Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 28 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Strategies for Improving Social Skills (Continued) • Social-skills training programs have generally been more successful with children 10 years of age or younger than with adolescents (Malik & Furman, 1993). • Peer reputations become more fixed as cliques and peer groups become more significant in adolescence. • Once an adolescent gains a negative reputation among peers as being “mean,” “weird,” or a “loner,” the peer group’s attitude is often slow to change, even after the adolescent’s problem behavior has been corrected. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 29 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Friendship • Friends are a subset of peers who engage in mutual companionship, support, and intimacy. • Relationships with friends are much closer and more involved than is the case with the peer group. • Some adolescents have several close friends, others one, and yet others none. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 30 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship The Functions of Friendship Companionship Stimulation Physical support Ego support Social Comparison Intimacy/affection Fig. 9.2 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 31 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Harry Stack Sullivan’s (1953) Ideas on Changes in Friendship in Early Adolescence • Sullivan argued that friends are important in shaping the development of children and adolescents. • During adolescence, said Sullivan, friends become increasingly important in meeting social needs. • Sullivan argued that the need for intimacy intensifies during early adolescence, motivating teenagers to seek out close friends. • If adolescents failed to forge such close friendships, they experience loneliness and a reduced sense of self-worth. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 32 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship Developmental Changes in Self-Disclosing Conversations Fig. 9.3 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 33 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Viewed from the developmental constructionist perspective adolescent friendship represents a new mode of relating to others that is best described as a symmetrical intimate mode. • The greater intimacy of adolescent friendships demands requires learning a number of close relationship competencies, including: • Knowing how to self-disclose appropriately. • Being able to provide emotional support to friends. • Managing disagreements in ways that do not undermine the intimacy of the friendship. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 34 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Friendship in Emerging Adulthood • Many aspects of friendship are the same in adolescence as in emerging adulthood. • Close relationships—between friends, family members, and romantic partners—were more integrated and similar than in adolescence. • The number of friendships declined from the end of adolescence through emerging adulthood. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 35 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Intimacy • Defined broadly it includes everything in a relationship that makes the relationship seem close or intense. • Defined narrowly as self-disclosure or sharing of private thoughts. • The most consistent finding in the last two decades of research on adolescent friendships is that intimacy is an important feature of friendship (Selman, 1980). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 36 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Similarity • Friends are generally similar—in terms of age, sex, ethnicity, and other factors. • Similarity is referred to as homophily, the tendency to associate with similar others (Prinstein & Dodge, 2008: Rubin, Fredstorm, & Bowker, 2008). • Friends often have similar attitudes toward school, similar educational aspirations, and closely aligned achievement orientations. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 37 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Mixed-Age Friendships • Some adolescents become best friends with younger or older individuals. • Do older friends encourage adolescents to engage in delinquent behavior or early sexual behavior? – Adolescents who interact with older youths do engage in these behaviors more frequently. – It is not known whether the older youth guide younger adolescents toward deviant behavior or whether the younger adolescents were already prone to deviant behavior. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 38 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Loneliness • For some individuals loneliness is a chronic condition. • Chronic loneliness is linked with impaired physical and mental health (Karnick, 2008). • It is important to distinguish loneliness from the desire for solitude. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 39 Exploring Peer Relations and Friendship • Loneliness (Continued) • Loneliness is often interwoven with the passage through life transitions: • A move to a different part of the country. • A divorce. • The death of a close friend or family member. • The first year of college may create loneliness especially if students leave the familiar world of their hometown and family to enter college. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 40 Adolescent Groups • Groups in Childhood and Adolescence – Childhood groups differ from adolescent groups. • Childhood groups often are friends or neighborhood acquaintances. • The groups usually are not as formalized as many adolescent groups. – Adolescent groups. • Tend to include a broader array of members; in other words, adolescents, other than friends or neighborhood acquaintances, often are members of adolescent groups. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 41 Adolescent Groups Dunphy’s Progression of Peer Group Relations in Adolescence Fig. 9.4 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 42 Adolescent Groups • Cliques and Crowds – Cliques are small groups that range from 2 to about 12 individuals and average about 5 to 6 individuals. • Members are usually of the same sex and are similar in age. • Adolescents engage in similar activities. – Being in a club together or on a sports team. – Crowds are larger than cliques. • Crowds are less personal than cliques. • Defined by the activities adolescents engage in (Brown & others, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 43 Adolescent Groups • Youth Organizations – Can have an important influence on the adolescent’s development (Mahoney & others, 2009; Pearce & Larson, 2006). – More than 400 national youth organizations currently operate in the United States (Erickson, 1996). – The organizations include: • Career groups (Junior Achievement). • Building character groups (Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts). • Political groups (Young Republicans and Young Democrats). • Ethnic groups (Indian Youth of America). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 44 Adolescent Groups • Youth Organizations (Continued) – Serve approximately 30 million young people each year. – The largest youth organization is 4-H, with nearly 5 million participants. – The smallest organizations are ASPIRA, a Latino youth organization that provides intensive educational enrichment programs for about 13,000 adolescents each year. – WAVE, a dropout-prevention program that serves about 8,000 adolescents each year. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 45 Adolescent Groups • Youth Organizations – Adolescents who join such groups are more likely to participate in community activities in adulthood. – Have higher self-esteem. – Are better educated. – Come from families with higher incomes than their counterparts who do not participate in youth groups (Erickson, 1982). – Participation in youth groups can help adolescents practice the interpersonal and organizational skills that are important for success in adult roles. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 46 Adolescent Groups • Youth Organizations – Some of the reasons given by middle school adolescents for not participating in youth programs: • Lack of interest in available activities. • Lack of transportation. • Lack of awareness about what is available. – Parents see similar barriers, especially transportation and costs. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 47 Gender and Culture • Gender – Gender plays an important role in the peer group and friendships (Blakemore, Berenbaum, & Linden, 2009). – Group size • Boys are more likely than girls to associate in larger clusters. • Boys are more likely to participate in organized games and sports than girls are. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 48 Gender and Culture • Gender – Interaction in same-sex groups • Boys are more often likely than girls to engage in competition, conflict, ego displays, and risk taking and to seek dominance • Girls are more likely to engage in “collaborative discourse,” in which they talk and act in a more reciprocal manner. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 49 Gender and Culture • Socioeconomic Status and Ethnicity – Peer groups are strongly segregated according to socioeconomic status and ethnicity. – Middle-SES students often assume the leadership roles in formal organizations. – Athletic teams are one type of adolescent group in which African American adolescents and adolescents from low-income families have been able to gain parity or even surpass adolescents from middle- and upper-SES families in achieving status. – Peer groups may form to oppose those of the majority group. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 50 Gender and Culture • Culture – In some countries, adults restrict adolescents’ access to peers. • Interaction with the other sex or opportunities for romantic relationships are restricted (Booth, 2002). – Japanese adolescents seek autonomy from their parents later and have less conflict with them. – The peer group was more important to U.S. adolescents than to Japanese adolescents (Rothbaum & others, 2000). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 51 Gender and Culture • Culture – In Southeast Asia and some Arab regions, adolescents are starting to rely more on peers for advice and share interests with them (Booth, 2002; Santa Maria, 2002). – In many countries and regions, peers play more prominent roles in adolescents’ lives (Brown & Larson, 2002). – Similar results have been observed throughout Europe and North America (Arnett, 2002). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 52 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Functions of Dating – Dating is a relatively recent phenomenon. • In the 1920s, it became a reality. • Its primary role was to select and win a mate. • Dating has evolved into something more than just courtship for marriage. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 53 Dating and Romantic Relationships – Dating today can serve at least eight functions (Paul & White, 1990): • • • • • Recreation. Source of status and achievement. Part of the socialization process. Involves learning about intimacy. Context for sexual experimentation and exploration. • Provide companionship. • Identity formation and development. • A means of mate sorting and selection. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 54 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Types of Dating and Developmental Changes – Heterosexual Romantic Relationships • Early romantic relationships serve as a context for adolescents to explore how attractive they are, how to interact romantically, and how all of these aspects look to the peer group. • Only after adolescents acquire some basic competencies in interacting with romantic partners does the fulfillment of attachment and sexual needs become a central function of these relationships (Furman & Wehner, 1998). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 55 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Types of Dating and Developmental Changes – Heterosexual Romantic Relationships (Continued) • Adolescents often find comfort in numbers in their early exploration of romantic relationships (Connolly & McIsaac, 2009). • During early adolescence, individuals spent more time thinking about the opposite sex than they actually spent with them. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 56 Adolescent Groups Age of Onset of Romantic Activity Fig. 9.5 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 57 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Romantic Relationships in Sexual Minority Youth – Most research has focused on heterosexual relationships. – Recently, researchers have begun to study romantic relationships in gay male, lesbian, and bisexual youth (Diamond & Savin-Williams, 2009). – The average age of the initial same-sex activity for females ranges from 14 to 18 years of age and for males from 13 to 15 (Diamond & Savin-Williams, 2009). – The most common initial same-sex partner is a close friend. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 58 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Romantic Relationships in Sexual Minority Youth (Continued) – More lesbian adolescent girls have sexual encounters with boys before same-sex activity, whereas gay adolescent boys are more likely to show the opposite sequence (Savin-Williams, 2006). – Most sexual minority youth have same-sex sexual experience, but relatively few have same-sex romantic relationships because of limited opportunities and the social disapproval such relationships may generate from families & peers (Diamond & Savin-Williams, 2009). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 59 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Emotion, Adjustment, and Romantic Relationships – Romantic emotions can envelop adolescents’ and emerging adults’ lives (Connolly & McIssac, 2009). – Emotions are positive, in others negative. – A concern is that in some cases the negative emotions are too intense and prolonged, and can lead to adjustment problems. • Dating and Adjustment – Linked with various measures of how well adjusted adolescents are (Barber, 2006; Connolly & McIssac, 2009). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 60 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship – Being in love when love is not returned can lead to: • Depression. • Obsessive thoughts. • Sexual dysfunction. • Inability to work effectively. • Difficulty in making new friends. • Self-condemnation. • Thinking clearly in such relationships is often difficult, because the person is so colored by arousing emotions. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 61 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship – Studies of romantic breakups have mainly focused on their negative aspects (Kato, 2005). – Few studies have examined the possibility that a romantic breakup might lead to positive changes (Sbarra & Ferrer, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 62 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Romantic Love and Its Construction • – Romantic love is also called passionate love or eros. – Has strong sexual and infatuation components. – Often predominates in the early part of a love relationship. – Extremely important among college students. Affectionate love – Also called companionate love. – More characteristic of adult love than adolescent love (Weis & Sternberg, 2008). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 63 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Affectionate love (Continued) – Adolescents’ observations of their parents’ martial relationship also contribute to their own construction of dating relationships. – Parents are likely to be more involved or interested in their daughters’ dating patterns and relationships than their sons’. – Peer relations and friendships also provide the opportunity to learn modes of relating that are carried over into romantic relationships (Collins, Welsh, & Furman, 2009). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 64 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Gender and Culture – Dating and romantic relationships may vary. • Gender – Do male and female adolescents bring different motivations to the dating experience? • Candice Feiring (1996) found that they did. – Girls were more likely to describe romance in terms of interpersonal qualities. – Boys in terms of physical attraction. • Dating scripts – Are the cognitive models that adolescents and adults use to guide and evaluate dating interactions. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 65 Dating and Romantic Relationships • Ethnicity and Culture – The sociocultural context exerts a powerful influence on adolescent dating patterns and on mate selection (Booth, 2002; Stevenson & Zusho, 2002). – Values and religious beliefs of people in various cultures often dictate: • The age at which dating begins. • How much freedom in dating is allowed. • The extent to which dates are chaperoned by parents or other adults. • The respective roles of males and females in dating. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 66 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Single Adults – There has been a dramatic rise in the percentage of single adults. – From 2000 to 2006, there was a significant increase in single adults in the United States from 20 to 29 years of age (U.S. Census Bureau, 2006). – In 2000, 64 percent of men from 20 to 29 years of age said they were single but by 2006 the percentage had increased to 73 percent, while the comparable percentages for women were 53 percent in 2000 and 62 percent in 2006. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 67 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Single Adults – Often are stereotyped (Schwartz & Scott, 2007): • “swinging single” • “desperately lonely” • “suicidal” – Most single adults are somewhere between these extremes. – Common problems of single adults may include forming intimate relationships with other adults, confronting loneliness, and finding a niche in a society that is marriage oriented. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 68 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Single Adults – Advantages of being single include: • Having time to make decisions about one’s life course. • Time to develop personal resources to meet goals. • Freedom to make autonomous decisions. • Pursue one’s own schedule and interests. • Opportunities to explore new places. • Try out new things. • Privacy. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 69 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Cohabiting Adults • Cohabitation refers to living together in a sexual relationship without being married. • Has undergone considerable changes in recent years (U.S. Census Bureau, 2008). • Many couples view their cohabitation not as a precursor to marriage but as an ongoing lifestyle. • In the United States cohabiting arrangements tend to be short-lived, with one-third lasting less than a year. • Researchers have found a higher rate of domestic violence among cohabiting couples than in married couples (Kenney & McLanahan, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 70 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Cohabiting Adults (Continued) • Fewer than one out of ten lasts five years. • Relationships between cohabiting men and women tend to be more equal than those between husbands and wives (Wineberg, 1994). • Disapproval by parents and other family members can place emotional strain on the cohabiting couple. • Some cohabiting couples have difficulty owning property jointly. • Legal rights on the dissolution of the relationship are less certain than in a divorce. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 71 Emerging Adult Lifestyles The Increase in Cohabitation in the United States Fig. 9.6 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 72 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Married Adults • Until about 1930, stable marriage was widely accepted as the endpoint of adult development. • In the last 60 years, personal fulfillment both inside and outside marriage has emerged as a goal that competes with marital stability. • Marital Trends • Marriage rates in the United States have declined. • More adults are remaining single longer today. • The average duration of a marriage in the United States is currently just over nine years. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 73 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Marital Trends (Continued) • In 2005, the U.S. average age for a first marriage climbed to just over 27 years for men and 26 years for women, higher than at any point in history (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2005). • Despite the decline in marriage rates, the United States is still a marrying society. • More than 90 percent of U.S. women still marry at some point in their lives. • Marriages in adolescence are more likely to end in divorce than marriages in adulthood (Furstenberg, 2007). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 74 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Marital Trends (Continued) • International comparisons of marriage also reveal that individuals in Scandinavian countries marry later than Americans, whereas their counterparts in Eastern Europe marry earlier (Bianchi & Spain, 1986). • In Hungary, early marriage and childbearing is encouraged to offset declines in the population. • Japan has a high proportion of unmarried young people. • Unmarried Japanese young adults live at home longer with their parents before marrying. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 75 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Premarital Education – Occurs in a group and focuses on relationship advice (Busby & others, 2007; Duncan, Holman, & Yang, 2007). – Researchers have found that premarital education can improve the quality of a marriage and possibly reduce the chances that the marriage will end in divorce (Carroll & Doherty, 2003). – It is recommended that premarital education begin approximately six months to a year before the wedding. – To improve their relationships, some couples seek counseling. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 76 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Divorced Adults – Divorce has become epidemic in the United States (Coontz, 2007). – The divorce rate was increasing annually by 10 percent but has been declining since the 1980s (Hernandez, 2007). – Those in disadvantaged groups have a higher incidence of divorce. – Youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having a religious affiliation, having parents who are divorced, and having a baby before marriage are associated with increases in divorce (Poponoe & Whitehead, 2007; Rodriques, Hall, & Fincham, 2006). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 77 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Divorced Adults (Continued) – If a divorce is going to occur, it usually takes place early in a marriage; most occur in the fifth to tenth year of marriage (National Center for Health Statistics, 2000). – Those adults who initiated their divorce experience challenges after a marriage dissolves (Amato & Irving, 2006; Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). – Both divorced women and divorced men complain of loneliness, diminished self-esteem, anxiety about the unknowns in their lives, and difficulty in forming satisfactory new intimate relationships. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 78 Emerging Adult Lifestyles The Divorce Rate in Relation to Number of Years Married Fig. 9.7 McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 79 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Divorced Adults (Continued) – Separated and divorced women and men have higher rates of psychiatric disorders, depression, alcoholism, and psychosomatic problems than do married adults (Eng & others, 2005). – Psychologically, one of the most common characteristics of divorced adults is difficulty in trusting someone else in a romantic relationship. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 80 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Gay Male and Lesbian Adults – The legal and social context of marriage creates barriers to breaking up that do not usually exist for same-sex partners. – But in other ways researchers have found that gay male and lesbian relationships are similar—in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflicts—to heterosexual relationships (Hyde & DeLamater, 2008; Kurdek, 2006; Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 81 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Gay Male and Lesbian Adults (Continued) – Like heterosexual couples, gay male and lesbian couples need to find the balance of romantic love, affection, autonomy, and equality that is acceptable to both partners (Kurdek, 2004). – Lesbian couples especially place a high priority on equality in their relationships (Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 82 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Gay Male and Lesbian Adults (Continued) – Gay male and lesbian couples are more flexible in their gender roles than heterosexual individuals are (Marecek, Finn, & Cardell, 1988). – A recent study of couples revealed that over the course of ten years of cohabitation, partners in gay male and lesbian relationships showed a higher average level of relationship quality than heterosexual couples (Kurdek, 2007). McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 83 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Gay Male and Lesbian Adults (Continued) – There are a number of misconceptions about gay male and lesbian couples (Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007). • Contrary to stereotypes, one partner is masculine and the other feminine in only a small percentage of gay male and lesbian couples. • Only a small segment of the gay male population have a large number of sexual partners and this is uncommon among lesbians. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 84 Emerging Adult Lifestyles • Gay Male and Lesbian Adults (Continued) – Researchers have found that gay males and lesbians prefer long-term relationships (Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007). – About half of committed gay male couples do have an open relationship that allows the possibility of sex (but not affectionate love) outside the relationship. – Lesbian couples usually do not have this open relationship. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 85 RESOURCES FOR IMPROVING THE LIVES OF ADOLESCENTS Understanding Peer Influence in Children and Adolescents edited by Mitchell Prinstein & Kenneth Dodge. (2008). New York: Guilford. Leading experts describe many facets of peer relations in adolescence, including current issues, peer influence processes, positive and negative aspects of peer relations, and bullying. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 86 RESOURCES FOR IMPROVING THE LIVES OF ADOLESCENTS “Adolescent Romantic Relationships” by W. Andrew Collins, Deborah Welsh, and Wyndol Furman (2009). In Annual Review of Psychology, Vol. 60. Palo Alto, CA: Annual Reviews. Experts provide an up-to-date overview of theory and research on the much-neglected topic of romantic relationships in adolescence. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 87 RESOURCES FOR IMPROVING THE LIVES OF ADOLESCENTS Just Friends by Lillian Rubin. (1985). New York: HarperCollins. Just Friends explores the nature of friendship and intimacy. McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 88 E-LEARNING TOOLS To help you master the material in this chapter, visit the Online Learning Center for Adolescence, 13th edition at: http://www.mhhe.com/santrocka13e McGraw-Hill Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.