The Conscious Road to Compassion
A Social Psychological Perspective on the Quiet Ego
Heidi A. Wayment, Ph.D.
Department of Psychology
Northern Arizona University
May 16, 2013
Outline
What is compassion?
What are the barriers to compassion?
What is a “quiet ego?”
What good is a “quiet ego?”
Can a “quiet ego” be cultivated?
What is Compassion?
At the core of every spiritual and religious tradition
“... the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering and
that motivates a subsequent desire to help.”
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Does target’s
suffering satisfy self
goal?
No
Is target deserving
of help?
No
Anger
Yes
Do I have resources
to help?
No
Distress
Anxiety
Fear
Yes
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Emotion
Behavior
Cognition
Psychological Distance
Compassion ...
the recognition that any perceived distinction
between others and ourselves is only a
"fleeting, deceptive phenomenon"
Schopenhauer (1969, p. 372)
Social Psychological Mechanisms
Self-focus
Self-Esteem
Protection
Witness
suffering
Fear
Self-Enhancement
Is target deserving
of help?
Do I have resources
to help?
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Belief in a Just
World
Perceived
Similarity
Is target deserving
of help?
Fundamental
Attribution Error
Self-Construal
Social Identity
Theory
Social Comparison
Do I have resources
to help?
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
Witness
suffering
Is target deserving
of help?
Do I have resources
to help?
Social Loafing
Diffusion of
Responsibility
Compassion
Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010
Psychological Bulletin
What is a “Quiet Ego?”
Less defended stance toward self and others
Balanced recognition of one’s strengths and weaknesses that
paves the way for personal growth and compassion for the self
and others
Mindfulness
Interdependent
Identity
Quiet
Ego
Perspective
Taking
Growth
Quiet Ego Scale
Sample Items
I find myself doing things without paying much attention.I feel a
connection to all living things.Before criticizing somebody, I try
to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place.For me, life
has been a continuous process of learning, changing, and
growth.
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
Study One (n = 300, n = 330)
Can a higher-order “quiet ego” construct be identified?
Mindfulness
.40
.44
e
Interdependent
Identity
e
Quiet
Ego
.55
Perspective
Taking
e
.70
χ2 with 73 df = 126.19, p
< .001, χ2:df = 1.73, CFI =
.94, NNFI = .92, RMSEA =
.05 N = 319
χ2 with 73 df = 90.44, p =
.08, χ2:df = 1.24, CFI =
.98, NNFI = .98, RMSEA =
.03 N = 337
Growth
e
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
Study Two (n = 581)
Coefficient alpha = .78
Psychological correlates of QE
Can QES predict lower levels of negative and hostile behavior?
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
++ Big 5, Self-Determination, Honesty-Humility, cognitive
reappraisal, holistic thinking
--Expressive suppression,physical aggression, verbal aggression,
anger, hostility, negative thinking, and psychological
entitlement
QES very modestly related to less negative thoughts/behaviors,
controlling for Big 5 personality traits and self-determination.
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
Study Three (n = 207)
Coefficient alpha = .78
QES and several prosocial attitudes and behaviors, self-esteem.
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
++ self-esteem, youth assets and sustainable attitudes.
-- psychological risk taking, energy wasting behavior. t(208) =
Controlling for self-esteem, QE associated with value assets,
and sustainable attitudes. Modestly associated with
psychological risk taking.
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
Study Four (n = 164, first-generation college Ss)
Coefficient alpha = .78
++ self-compassion, five-facet mindfulness, authenticity
++ resiliency, life satisfaction, coping efficacy QE associated
with psychological strengths, controlling for mindfulness,
authenticity, self-compassion
Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013)
Study Five (n = 391)
Coefficient alpha = .786
++ flourishing, self-transcendence, pro-environmental attitudes,
life satisfaction, and self-compassion. Controlling for Big 5, selfcompassion, self-transcendence, QE associated with lower
levels of depression/anxiety.
Wayment et al., (2011)
Unemployment Study (n = 262)
What Good is a Quiet Ego?
Increase our AWARENESS of our psychological defensesLearn
and remind ourselves of our abilities to be mindful, have an
interdependent identity, feel empathy, and value human
growth.
Collier et al., (2013)
Mood Repair Study
Using a 15-minute Quiet Ego Contemplation
Can QEC improve coping with stress? Can it alter our tendency
to act in a self-defensive way?
Cultivating a Quiet Ego
...when we are motivated to grow as individuals,
remind ourselves that we are connected to each other
and all living things, behave mindfully and with
awareness and sensitivity to others, and feel the
emotions of an open heart, both toward ourselves
and others.