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Shatter the silence of sexual violence!
Sexual Assault
Awareness Month
2012
Bystander Intervention & Supporting A
Survivor
Welcome to SAAM 2012!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Overview
• Brief review of important definitions
and stats
• Rape Trauma: In a Survivor’s shoes
• Male Survivors
• How to Support a Survivor
• Bystander Intervention
• Roles, Examples and How Tos
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Sexual Violence - Any act sexual in nature, whether
verbal or physical, that breaks a person’s trust,
violates their safety, or impedes upon their sexual
autonomy. Sexual violence includes and is not limited
to sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape. It
also does not specify a gender or age and can be
understood to encompass domestic violence or any
violence based on one’s sexual identity.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Consent: Sexual activity requires consent, which is
defined as clear, unambiguous, and voluntary agreement
between the participants to engage in specific sexual
activity. Consent cannot be inferred from the absence of a
"no"; a clear "yes," verbal or otherwise, is necessary.
• Although consent does not need to be verbal, verbal
communication is the most reliable form of asking for and gauging
consent, and individuals are thus urged to seek consent in verbal
form. Talking with sexual partners about desires and limits may
seem awkward, but serves as the basis for positive sexual
experiences shaped by mutual willingness and respect.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Consent Definition Continued:
• Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is asleep or
otherwise mentally or physically incapacitated, whether due
to alcohol, drugs, or some other condition. Consent cannot
be obtained by threat, coercion, or force. Agreement given
under such conditions does not constitute consent.
• Consent must be clear and unambiguous for each participant
throughout any sexual encounter. Consent to some sexual acts
does not imply consent to others, nor does past consent to a given
act imply ongoing or future consent. Consent can be revoked at
any time. For all of these reasons, sexual partners must evaluate
consent in an ongoing fashion and should communicate clearly
with each other throughout any sexual encounter.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• 1 in 4 women will be
and 1 in 6 men will be
sexually assaulted
before the age of 18.
(USDOJ)
• Girls 16-19 are 4x
more likely to
experience a rape
• 12% of girls and 5%
of boys in high school
have been sexually
assaulted
• 93% knew the
perpetrator
(www.rainn.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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RAPE TRAUMA
In a Survivor’s Shoes
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Emotions Following a Sexual Assault
Humiliation
Guilt
Shame
Anger
Anxiety
Denial
Self-Blame
Confusion
Disgust
Loss of Control &
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
Safety
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Rape Trauma Syndrome
1) The Acute Phase
• Feelings of shock, disbelief and helplessness
• Concern about pregnancy, sexually transmitted
infections, or injury
• Inability to concentrate
• Some victims may seem completely in control,
like nothing happened
(www.SafeFromAbuse.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Rape Trauma Syndrome
2. The Repression Phase
• Avoids thinking and talking about the assault
• Experiences Anger
• Tells others he/she is “over it”
• Minimizes the assault, “It wasn’t so bad”
(www.SafeFromAbuse.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Rape Trauma Syndrome
3. The Reorganization Phase
• Hypervigilance
• Depression
• Flashbacks & nightmares
• Lack of trust
• Fear & avoidance of people & places that remind
him/ her or the assault
(www.SafeFromAbuse.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Rape Trauma Syndrome
4. The Integration Phase
• Regains feelings of control and safety
• Shifts blame from self to perpetrator
• Regains Trust in Others
(www.SafeFromAbuse.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
• A male survivor of sexual assault, like any
survivor, experiences an array of negative
emotions
• However, males may be less likely to seek social
support
• Stereotypes suggest that men cannot be victims
of sexual assault; these societal reactions can
have a profound impact on survivors’ coping
processes (www.rainn.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
OUTCOMES
• Depression
• Alienation
• Sexual Confusion
• Feelings of being less
• Self-blame
than a man
• Negative impact on
personal relationships
• Anger
• Fear
• Paranoia
• Hostility
• Emotional Withdrawal
www.rainn.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
HOW TO SUPPORT A
SEXUAL ASSAULT
SURVIVOR
Supporting A Survivor PSA:
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Help a Survivor!
Studies show that the first person a survivor tells…
If that person reacts well, it can greatly help the
healing process!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Supporting A Survivor
• Every survivor reacts differently
following a sexual assault
• Some might express intense emotions and
behaviors, including: crying, shaking, etc.
• However, others appear to have little to no
emotion
• Some people may even be smiling or
laughing…everyone reacts differently to trauma.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Supporting A Survivor
• Remember: Everyone has different
ways to cope with traumatic events
• Just because he/she is not visibly upset, it
does not mean they are not hurting
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
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Supporting A Survivor
DO:
DO NOT:
• Listen & be supportive
• Question their story
• Alleviate guilt
• Be judgmental
• Be available for support
• Ask “Why?”
• Assist them in getting the
• Ask for specific details
mental & medical help they
need
• Respect that it’s ultimately their
decision to receive help
• Provide empathy!
• THANK THEM FOR
SHARING!
• Ask them if they lead the
perpetrator on
• Tell them what they should
have done differently
• NEVER NEVER NEVER
blame the victim
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Supporting A Survivor What to Say
“Thank you for sharing that with me”
“I believe you.”
• Many victims do not confide in others because of fear that others
will not believe them
• Be supportive and do not question their story
“It’s not your fault.”
• Most victims blame themselves
• They need to be reassured that is was not their fault
“How can I be there for you now?”
“ You are not alone!”
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Supporting A Survivor How to Listen
Be an Empathetic Listener
• Listen, don’t lecture
• Be non-judgmental
• Be friendly, concerned, and supportive
Avoid Saying…
• “I understand.”
• “I know how you feel.”
Instead, reflect back their emotions…
• “It sounds like…”
• “What I’m hearing you say…”
• “It seems as if you feel…”
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Resources to Help Support a Survivor
• Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
www.rainn.org
• The National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
BYSTANDER
INTERVENTION
If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!
Everyone has a role in preventing sexual
violence.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Bystander Intervention:
The willingness to take action and help someone in time of need.
Two recent media examples of people
failing to intervene include:
① The alleged sexual abuse by Sandusky
at Penn State
②Bernie Fine at Syracuse University Tapes 'reveal his wife watched husband
molest boy in their home’
Bernie Fine has lost his job
as head basketball coach at
Syracuse University amid
child abuse allegation
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Bystander Definitions
• Bystander- A person who witnesses an act of violence
• Bystander Effect- The more bystanders that witness the
incident, the less likely they all are to call for help
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Bystander Intentions
• Aiming to reduce sexual assault victimization and
perpetration, while holding perpetrators more
accountable for their actions
• YOU can make a difference!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How do I know When to Intervene?
Ask yourself:
• Is there a potential problem?
• Does someone need help?
• (If YOU were in the same situation, would you want help?)
• Are you able to help?
• Will anyone else help or stand up for this person if you
don’t?
• REMEMBER the bystander effect!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How do I know When to Intervene?
Examples of situations to intervene:
• You’re at a party and you overhear someone’s plan to
sexually take advantage of another person
• You hear someone joke about getting someone drunk in
order to have sex with them
• You think you see someone slip something into a drink
• You see someone who is clearly impaired being taken
away from the party and are unsure of their safety
• You see someone being sexually or physically abused or
taken advantage of
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How do I know When to Intervene?
Look out for sexually or physically
aggressive behaviors:
• Inappropriate touching
• Pushing boundaries
• Overly sexual remarks
• Targeting an intoxicated person
• Encouraging or pressuring heavy drinking
• Isolation (i.e., taking someone upstairs, etc.)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How do I know When to Intervene?
When in doubt, trust your gut
instincts!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Everyday Interventions
• Discourage victim-blaming, while shifting
responsibility from victims to perpetrators
• Do not engage in sexually inappropriate
conversations
• Speak out against negative social norms
• For instance, the social legitimacy of obtaining sex from
an intoxicated person
• “She was asking for it” myth
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Step In & Step Up!
“In the end we will not remember the words of our
enemies, but the silence of our friends” –Dr. Martin
Luther King Jr.
• Will you pledge to step up and engage in bystander
intervention?
• Will you teach others about bystander intervention?
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
That’s it for Today folks!
• Questions or comments?
Upcoming Free SAAM Webinars:
• Wednesday April 18th 12pm – 1pm CST
• Sexual Violence in the Media and Gender Identity
• Wednesday April 25th 12pm – 1pm CST
• Healthy Relationships, Reporting and Shattering The
Silence 101
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org/
SAAM
Want these slides?
Email
Amanda@ShatteringTheSilence.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
