FLATLAND AND THE
UNIVERSAL COLOR BILL
By Colleen
HISTORY OF COLOR IN A
NUTSHELL
Color was discovered by a pentagon,
referred to as Chromastistes, who
discovered how the basic elements to
make paint. He used the paint to tell one
end from another, but eventually color
threw Flatland into chaos, so color was
eradicated from the land.
THE BEGINNING OF COLOR
Chromastistes colored everything in his
house, including his father, sons, and
grandsons, and finally himself. No one
mistook one end of him for the other end.
The fashion spread like wildfire, so
eventually every triangle and square
around had become colored.
THE FASHION OF COLOR
Each shape has distinct colors. Here are a
few shapes that have succumbed to color:
Isosceles: black, orange, and purple
Equilateral: red, white, and blue
Women: red and green
Priests: red and green
A NOTE TO THE READER
The women and priests were the last to
accept colored sides. They are colored
the same, but this causes chaos in itself.
Since the practice of feeling and sight has
gone out of use, since everyone is colorful,
no one can distinguish between them.
Priests are being mistaken for women and
vice versa.
THE START OF THE DOWNFALL
OF COLOR
The Color Bill lasted for 3 years after the
circles and women were forced to be as
the other shapes until a civil war was
waged. An army of polygons was
defeated by the isosceles triangles and to
the record 23 circles had perished.
THE DABBLING OF AN
ISOSCELES TRIANGLE
It just so happens that a isosceles triangle with
a vertex degree of 4 had plundered a
tradesman’s shop and had accidentally
dabbled in the colors of a dodecagon. Under
the false pretenses of a dodecagon, he had
married a woman who he had admired, and
when she realized whom she had married,
she committed suicide.
AND SO THE COLOR BILL IS
FALLING
When the citizens of Flatland heard of this,
chaos ensued. Chromastistes predicted
after this incident what would happen if the
color bill continued to stay in effect. A
fierce battle, with the circles guiding the
women against the criminal class
(isosceles), perused victory after slaying
many and the rest losing heart to battle.
COLOR EXISTS NO MORE
After color was abolished, if anyone, besides
circles and qualified teachers, uttered anything
about color they would be punished severely.
The only place that color still existed was in
higher math classes for the purpose of
illustrating problems. Only one person, the
chief circle, knows the secret of color and only
passes it down to his successor when on his
death bed. Only one factory makes color
anymore and the workers are annually
consumed and new ones introduced for the
sake of keeping it a secret.
FIN.