Why attachment
matters
in play
Roberta Manners, Associate Theraplay® therapist
Sheila Lavery, Theraplay® trained facilitator
2014
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Objectives for the day
 Learn
the principles of Theraplay®
 Explore
the role of play in building trust
 Demonstrate
 Consider
and practise Theraplay® activities
how to employ Theraplay® in your
own practice.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
What is Theraplay®?
Theraplay® is adult-child play
therapy, based on the natural
patterns of healthy interaction
between parent and baby.
It is used to establish or
re-establish connection
between parents and children
following loss, trauma or separation.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Theraplay® and child development

Early interactions between parent and child,
create the foundation of the child’s being –
their sense of self and how they relate to others
and the world.

Fostered and adopted children have
experienced a range of negative
interpersonal interactions.

Foster and adoptive parents
generally have more positive
experiences of relationships.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
“…Because
it focuses on
attachment and relationship
development Theraplay®
has been used successfully
for many years with foster
and adoptive families”.
(Introductory Theraplay and MIM training)
2014
Why attachment matters in play
What difficulties respond to Theraplay®?
 Withdrawn,
 Acting
depressed, fearful, shy children
out, angry, non-compliant children
 Attachment/relationship
 Trauma
history
 Regulatory
 Autistic
problems
problems/ADHD
Spectrum Disorders
 Developmental
delays
2014
Why attachment matters in play
What makes it Theraplay®?

Responsive, attuned, interactive play

Modelled on “good enough” parenting

Focus on here and now

It is fun!

Adults direct the play

Focus is the relationship

Nurturing touch is integral

Geared to child’s emotional
(not chronological) age.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Benefits for the child
 Feels
safe and comforted
 Experiences
good touch
 Learns
to trust
 Learns
regulation
 Improves
self-image
 Experiences
fun with parents.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Putting back the missing pieces
Theraplay® provides an opportunity for foster
and adoptive parents to create positive intersubjective experiences
which their
children missed
or didn’t get
right brain to
right brain
enough of.
intensive
soothing
physical
contact
dyadic
preverbal
2014
Why attachment matters in play
These developmental building blocks
challenge the child’s negative internal
working model of themselves
and others, so they can
accept what foster and
adoptive parents have
to offer.
Why attachment matters in play
All children with an insecure attachment
history need heaps of nurture. Yet
parenting is often less intimate and playful
with older children.
Theraplay® enables
child and parent to
accept the need
for regression.
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Theraplay with traumatised children
 Relational
trauma with attachment figure is
more traumatic than external threats.
 Trauma is non verbal – adaptive responses
 Traumatised children may resist conventional
therapy
 They see the world as threatening and
overwhelming
 Problems with relationships
 Primed for stress – fight, flight or freeze
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Key concepts for trauma
 Work
at a slower pace
 Respect
and work with the child’s coping
mechanisms
 Combines
story work
 Avoid
with other trauma work such as life
working with dangerous, acting out or
actively psychotic children or recently
traumatised children
2014
Why attachment matters in play
Apply Theraplay® to the everyday
Scottish Attachment in
Action 2014
The 4 dimensions of Theraplay®
Engagement
Nurture
Structure
Challenge
Scottish Attachment in
Action 2014
The purpose of engagement
“To establish and maintain a
connection with the child, to focus
on the child in an intense way and to
surprise and entice the child
into enjoying new
experiences.”
Let’s try
Peekaboo
Scottish Attachment in
Action 2014
The purpose of nurture
“To re-enforce the message that the
child is worthy of care and that adults
will provide care without the child
having to ask.”
Let’s try caring
for hurts
Scottish Attachment in
Action 2014
The purpose of structure
“To relieve the child of the burden of
maintaining control of interactions. The
adult sets limits, defines body boundaries,
keeps the child safe and helps
complete the sequence
of activities”
Let’s try hand
stacking
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
The purpose of challenge
“To help the child feel more
competent and confident by
encouraging the child to take a slight
risk and accomplish an
activity with adult help”
Let’s try thumb
wrestling
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
The three rules of Theraplay
1.
No hurts
2.
The adult is in charge
3.
We have
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
The PLACE attitude
Playful
Liking
Acceptance
Curiosity
Empathy
Dan and Colwyn demonstrate shared meaning
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
Theraplay programme
 Full
history/presenting difficulties
 Marschak
 Parent
Interaction Model (MIM) assessment
preparation
 Sessions
are planned - possibly up to 20
weekly/fortnightly 45-minute sessions with
regular reviews
 Sessions
are usually filmed.
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
Final things to think about

Find a safe, comfortable space

Adult sets structure (e.g. ready, steady, go!)

Flow of activities

Stay calm and focused on the child

Don’t say “don’t” (except with hurts)

Attunement and empathy

“We’re going to...” not, “ Would you like to...”

Be aware of resistance and trauma triggers

Stay playful and engaged.
Scottish Attachment in Action
2014
Further reading
 Theraplay
– Helping parents and Children
Build Better Relationships Through
Attachment- Based Play by A Jernberg
and P Booth (Jossey-Bass)
I
Love You Rituals by Becky A Bailey
(HarperCollins)
 Fun
to Grow On by Virginia Morin
(Magnolia Street Pub.)