The College Application Essay
Charting the Course the College
Allegheny College
July 15, 2011
The Purpose of the Essay
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To reveal something about yourself
that's not in the rest of the application –
what's important to you and why?
To demonstrate your skill as a writer –
are you capable of college-level
writing?
The importance of the essay
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In the "funnel"
You are in control
Before
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Read some Newsweek "My Turn" essays.
 http://feeds.newsweek.com/Newsweek/MyTurn
Read some NPR "This I Believe" essays.
 http://www.npr.org/thisibelieve/about.html
Read some Teen Ink College Essays
 http://www.teenink.com/College/Essays1.html
Make a list of several possible topics and anecdotes
Remember: this is a reflective piece. You did X; so
what? How did it affect you?
Who is your audience?
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An admissions committee consists of
several real people.
They are different from each other and may
disagree – there's no simple answer to the
question, "Will they like this essay?"
Clear thinking, good writing, originality,
and personal reflection appeal to all.
Topics to avoid
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What you think they want to hear
 Flattery
 Informing the college about itself
The I, me, my essay
Sports as a metaphor for life
"My great coach"
Death, Divorce, Disaster
"How my school failed me"
The "gee whiz" essay (how working with those less
fortunate made me realize how fortunate I am)
Topics to avoid, cont.
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My Trip to My Ancestral Homeland (how I felt 'at
home' for the first time in . . .)
My Favorite Things (a list of stuff that tells you
I'm nice)
Miss America (how I will work for world peace)
Tales of My Success (how I overcame adversity to
win the day)
Selling and Telling – The Autobiography (I was
born at a young age . . .)
During
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Follow the college's instructions to the
letter
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Length
Format
Count on doing at least three drafts
Three strong statements (beginning
middle and end)
Show, don't tell
More Basic "Do's"
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Tell a story only you can tell.
Slice of life, moment in time
Plenty of detail
Metaphors welcome!
Spare the adjective
Opening Gambits
Anecdote (in medias res)
 “Every Sunday I wake up to a
1940’s Prell Shampoo jingle
sung in falsetto by a short, wiry,
balding intellectual. My dad is
a nut.”
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Why? (raises question in reader's
mind)
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“I try to live reasonably in the modern
world, but it gets harder and harder.”
“In Moulmein, in Lower Burma, I was
hated by large numbers of people – the only
time in my life that I have been important
enough for this to happen to me.”
Shocker (takes the reader aback)
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“I do some of my best thinking in the
bathroom.”
But be careful with this one! It’s a loaded
weapon, and should be handled accordingly.
Curmudgeon (refutes
conventional wisdom)
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“Moby Dick may be a great book, but it is
not a good book.”
“I have no sympathy with international
aggression when it is taken seriously, but I
have a certain dark and wild sympathy with
it when it is quite absurd.”
“No man ever quite believes in any other
man.”
The Split
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“There are those who have faith in man-made
things and those who do not.”
“There are two kinds of people in the world –
those who have a horror of a vacuum and those
with a horror of the things that fill it.”
“The human species, according to the best theory
I can form of it, is composed of two distinct races,
the men who borrow, and the men who lend.”
Confession (the reader as your
confidant)
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“In my mind I am seventeen, although in
actual fact – in man-made years – I am
older.”
State the Obvious (that was
hidden until…)
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“San Francisco is a long way from New
York.”
OPENING STATMENTS
"I was ten years old when I met Batman. I never knew his real name. I
always thought he looked like Busta Rhymes."
"It was December. I could not decide. 'Should I go home? Or am I
already home?'"
MID-ESSAY TRANSITIONAL 'GRABBERS'
"With this newfound love of tea came a sobering realization – I had
become the tea snob I had despised in the first place."
"When my mother finally caught on that I was bringing home too
many beauty products, she called my teachers."
CLOSING STATEMENTS
"I may never get there, I might not even want to, but I will enjoy myself
along the way, and without Batman I never would have started."
"When I find myself feeling glum in the colder months, I drown my
troubles in one warm cup of water at a time, steeping a bag of
Oriental Mandarin Orchard for five minutes, or more for flavor."
TELLING
A book or film that has had great influence on me
was Grosse Point Blank.
SHOWING
To my disappointment, Liar Liar was sold out, but
I had come to see a movie and was going to see
one. Then there it was, in the right corner of the
marquee, a film I had never heard of, Grosse
Point Blank. I wish that I could look back at this
moment and see destiny pulling at my seven
dollars and fifty cents.
After
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Questions to ask yourself and another
reader after each draft:
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What is the essay about?
What does it add to the application? (i.e.,
how is it an argument for admitting me?)
What is the strongest section?
What is the weakest section?
What was left out – what questions will a
reader have?
Trim the fat
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proceeded to, began to, decided to
every adjective you wouldn't fight for
unnecessary restatement
SAT words (plethora and myriad)
When you think you're
finished…
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Put the piece away for three days.
When you read it again, ask, is this your
voice? (vocabulary!)
Proofread!
Make sure a counselor/English
teacher/trusted adult reads the essay
before you send it.
I have lived the past eight years in this area and
I've been lucky to live near such an exciting and
beautiful campus. The Y program at College X
is on the rise and has an excellent reputation
with some of the best teachers in the world as
members of the teaching board. I've attended
several excellent plays and athletic events and I
even did a pre-college program at College X last
summer. Although I took two history courses, I
was still able to get a good grasp of the teaching
styles and freedom that the social sciences
college would provide me. I hope to use…I look
forward to majoring in Y at College X and I hope
to be…