SEXUALITY AND PARENTHOOD sexuality & parenthood In this presentation we set out the Catholic vision of sexuality and parenthood, together with some of the values, attitudes and morality that flow from this. sexuality & parenthood Some in the media say that the Church is obsessed with sex sexuality & parenthood sexuality & parenthood Not so! It’s society that is obsessed with sex sexuality & parenthood Sex used to be spoken about only behind closed doors or as the topic of suggestive remarks. Now it’s something everyone must know everything about, including every form of sexual depravity. But sex offences, especially those involving children, need to be dealt with by the police, whoever the perpetrator. It’s no excuse that sex is used as a marketing tool for selling just about anything. sexuality & parenthood The Church HAS to say something because of distorted views and practices conveyed through the media by individuals and groups with financial interest in things sexual… sexuality & parenthood *If there were no pleasure attached to sex, who would do it? Pleasure there for a purpose – two purposes: To strengthen the couple’s relationship AND to give them the ability to share with God in the creation of another human being – That’s STUPENDOUS! sexuality & parenthood sexuality & parenthood *SEX and SEXUALITY are GOD’S IDEA not ours. One of God’s greatest gifts. Because God seldom gets mentioned it’s not surprising that ideas and attitudes concerning sex & sexual behaviour have become distorted. sexuality & parenthood The gift has become separated from the giver. There is even confusion about the words used! sexuality & parenthood SEX = MALE… sexuality & parenthood …& FEMALE and the two go together sexuality & parenthood SEXUALITY is all those things that go with being male or female – including physical and emotional differences. They are all part of being human. sexuality & parenthood SEXUAL INTERCOURSE involves genital and erotic activity. We are all sexual beings, but it isn’t necessary to become involved in genital sex to be fully human. sexuality & parenthood Priests and Religious Brothers and Sisters freely choose to remain celibate to be free to serve wherever they are needed. Giving up marriage voluntarily isn’t easy. All of us have difficulty at times managing our sexuality. sexuality & parenthood Not everyone gets married, but everyone is a sexual human being to be loved and accepted for who they are – and able themselves to give and receive love The Book of Genesis says that God made them male and female and intended them to be ‘two becoming one flesh’. He also said to them ‘increase and multiply and make it (creation) yours’ sexuality & parenthood ‘Two becoming one flesh’ – that’s the UNITIVE purpose of our sexuality ‘Increase and multiply’ – that’s the PRO-CREATIVE purpose ‘Two becoming one flesh’ is part of the life-long commitment that is marriage. sexuality & parenthood This is not the Church’s idea: it’s God’s! All the Church does is to tell us what Jesus said and what follows from what he said. sexuality & parenthood This is what is behind the Catholic Church’s teaching about abortion, contraception and divorce sexuality & parenthood SEXUAL INTERCOURSE is about giving and receiving love, in such a way that both partners grow in their love and respect for each other and for themselves It’s the most intimate form of communication – a bringing together and celebrating of all that is going on in your relationship sexuality & parenthood *It’s a 24 hour relationship in which you show your love in countless ways, through words and actions, culminating in sexual intercourse, which leaves you with a feeling of being loved and cherished and special to each other. sexuality & parenthood The media stress technique and performance, but every couple is different, every day is different - with its own pressures and conflicts and each person is continually changing. Fulfilling love-making grows, develops and changes as the years go by. It is putting the focus on self-GIVING love NOT SELF-centred behaviour. sexuality & parenthood It’s about forgiving, healing and beginning again… sexuality & parenthood …because there are times when you will feel misunderstood! sexuality & parenthood It’s about a union of spirits as well as a union of bodies so that ‘two may become one’. sexuality & parenthood sexuality & parenthood sexuality & parenthood Three things have to be noted: *At your wedding you will be asked this question: That children are a gift from God That you have to be willing to accept children That they need to be brought up as Christians “Are you willing to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” sexuality & parenthood *Parents are the first religious educators of their children. The church community and Catholic schools are there to support parents in this task. Parents have the first responsibility to teach their children about God, about Jesus, and about how to pray sexuality & parenthood Children are a gift from God. They are not our possession. We cooperated with God in their coming to life, but they are unique individuals. Just as your parents nurtured you until you began to make your own decisions regarding the future direction of your life, you will do the same. sexuality & parenthood In these cases your ‘Yes’ to accepting children may be really tested, but often the maternal instinct takes over and the child is loved. *That you be willing to accept children may be easy with regard to the first child. But sometimes the arrival of a child is unexpected and parents have to make massive adjustments to their lives. sexuality & parenthood Sadly, in one in four cases nowadays people are not willing to accept the child and it is removed by surgical abortion. sexuality & parenthood If a couple decided before they marry NEVER to have any children, and intend to take every means to prevent conception this invalidates their marriage in the eyes of the Catholic Church. That’s because being willing to accept children is part of God’s purpose for our sexuality sexuality & parenthood Serious difficulties can arise in this area so it is important to talk about it, and pray about it. You promise when you marry to bring up your children as Christians This can present difficulties if both are Christians but belong to different denominations, or if one is not a Christian, or has no religion. sexuality & parenthood *Research in many countries shows that the well-being of a child is best served by parents who are committed to each other in the stable, secure, loving relationship which is marriage. planning your family planning your family *It is reasonable to plan the arrival of children. The only question is the method used, and its morality, which must take into account God’s arrangement of things. planning your family God has already inserted a method of conception control into His planning for marriage and family life. It is used by 83 million people worldwide. Conception is only possible for 3-5 days of the fertility cycle. planning your family With knowledge of His arrangement of things couples can plan the arrival or delay the arrival of another child. planning your family More and more couples are concerned about the effect of various forms of contraceptive methods and are turning to NATURAL family planning… …which requires a measure of self-control… …but has no side-effects! planning your family *It requires a commitment to the method by both husband and wife, so both need to be involved in the tuition but is easy to learn. NFP is now so accurate that official statistics of the World Health Organisation state that when properly taught and properly used it is as reliable as most forms of contraceptive birth control. planning your family An increasing number of couples have difficulty conceiving a child. NFP can be a help in determining the onset of ovulation. How would you feel if you were unable to conceive a child? planning your family PLEASE DON’T DISMISS NFP without first looking at the research which proves its reliability and lack of side effects. You will find information about NFP on the CD we will give you before you leave. sexuality & parenthood sexuality & parenthood bye bye!