Revisiting the “Most
Dangerous Game” Essay
Your assignment:
• Print out these slides at home, and
put them in your notebook under
Notes. I’d suggest you highlight the
underlined parts. It will be part of
your notebook grade.
Common Errors
Most of you have the basic 2 chunk format down,
but I’m still seeing problems with
- formatting: stop putting extra spaces btwn
paragraphs
- Not enough lead-in that sets up the situation of
the quote
- Fragments/run-ons in CD sentences
- Misplaced parenthetical citations (put before the
period)
- Missing sentences (2nd CMs and CS)
- Too MANY no-no words!! (this shows that…)
When these sorts of mistakes become
too numerous and noticeable, it
affects the overall grade. It can
turn an A- into a B+ even if content is
good because too many errors show a
lack of proofreading and maturity in
writing.
Content Errors
• Overall order of CD’s. If you have
the quote about Rainsford jumping
off the cliff in the first chunk, why
do you have the one about him falling
off the yacht in your second chunk?
There’s a lack of continuity here.
More Content Errors
• Redundancy:
- CS that repeats the TS
- CMs that translate or paraphrase the
CD/quote rather than analyze the effect
of it (mistake #10)
EX:
In addition, Rainsford rushed away from the dogs and
Zaroff preaching to himself, “I will not lose my nerve. I
will not” (48). He is very cautious and constantly reminds
himself that he needed to endure.
More Redundancies and Circular
Arguments
• …”he can use his confident attitude and selfcontrol to stay confident.”
• Sample TS: Rainsford also has very strong
outdoor skills…(1st CM) Rainsford is very skilled
outdoors…(same paragraph, 2nd chunk) Rainsford
is using his outdoor skills to help him trap Zaroff
in the ditch…(CS) His traits of being skilled
outdoors are one of the strongest character traits.
Content Errors: Undeveloped,
Limited, and Generic CMs
This means things like
• both of your analysis sentences (the CMs) are
shorter than your 1 CD sentence
• Your CM isn’t directly related to the CD you just
typed OR it’s so broad/vague/generic that it
could apply to any trait/idea about Rainsford
EX: ...Zaroff said, “I congratulate you. Not many men
know how to build a Malay Man trap” (48) Rainsford is
able to think up a technique that would help him the best.
He can assess difficult situations and decide how to get
out of them.
Weak Premise
I graded dozens of essays that were variations on
this weak (lame) theme:
“If Rainsford hadn’t had___trait, he would have
died.”
Here are some real examples:
- Without these skills he would never have been able to
evade Zaroff or maintain his sanity.
- Had he not experienced these things he would have died.
- If Rainsford hadn’t used the resources he used the way he
used them, he could not have beat Zaroff, and lost the
game.
Showing vs. Telling
• The rule here is: show me how…don’t
tell me what.
People tell me stuff that are a given,
like plot facts. Their CMs,
therefore, don’t prove anything; they
just repeat. This is not analysis.
Sample “CMs” that TELL WHAT instead
of SHOW HOW
• (after quote about complicated trail) His skills
definitely help him win the most dangerous game.
• (after quote about him leaping into the sea) The
amount of bravery Rainsford had in order to jump
off a cliff was shown.
• (after quote about grapevine/knife/sapling trick)
Rainsford creates this trap while being hunted by
Zaroff and his dogs. His ability to recreate this
trap greatly helps and aids Rainsford again Zaroff
and Ivan.
Elevating Your Topic Sentences
Okay, but average and limited:
Rainsford’s resourcefulness helped him survive.
Determination was the fuel to Rainsford’s mental
stability.
Better:
Being levelheaded helps Rainsford in difficult
situations by allowing him to think rationally and
not be sidetracked by panic.
• Best:
Rainsford shows an extraordinary level of
determination and an astounding amount of
sheer tenacity that allows him to not only
persevere while avoiding the nefarious
general, but also to hold onto his beliefs.
What makes this an “A” level TS?