25 WAYS TO LOVE THE
GIFTED
Copyright: S.E.N.G. Supporting Emotional Needs of
the Gifted
1

Show your love for the people in your
life who are gifted by speaking out and
educating others that giftedness is not
elitist and in fact can sometimes include
heavy burdens and difficulties.
2

When children come
home physically and
mentally exhausted,
cuddle up with them in
an easy chair and
share a book.
3

Appreciate the paradox of giftedness:
You are both different and the same.
Your gift makes you, in a very special
way, unique. Your humanness makes you,
in all other ways, quite similar to
everyone else.
4

Be aware that gifted children often
possess a heightened sensitivity and
awareness. They may notice social
interaction on many more levels than what
is typical, and this hyperawareness can
result in heightened self consciousness,
discomfort, or even anxiety.
5

Listen to children’s intense and sensitive
feelings without offering suggestions to
solve the problem. Use active listening
skills so they know that you really are
interested in their views. Model respect
and caring in how you listen.
6

Let the gifted people in
your life know that you
admire the intense
curiosity they exude on
such a wide array of
topics. Don’t insinuate
that they are merely
busybodies who need to
stop asking so many
questions. This may shut
them down with
embarrassment and
erode their self-esteem.
7

Help gifted people
discover and become who
they really are- not who
society says they should
be or the person you want
them to be, but who they
really are. You may need
to move past yourself and
your culture, but it will be
well worth it as your
children, friends, spouses,
or parents grow into the
truest version of
themselves.
8

Help the gifted make a difference.
Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish
to see in the world.” Help gifted
children decide what they can do, no
matter how small it may seem, so they
can come to understand that authentic
intentions and actions make a
difference. It will be good for themand for the world.
9

Gifted children need a
place where it is okay
and safe to be
“gifted” so that they
can say, “I love to
come here because it
is all right to be smart
here. I can’t always be
‘smart’ in my regular
class.”
10

Arrange times and events with students of
like abilities and interests so that they can
make connections. At a SENG conference,
a boy from Chicago and a boy from Texas
suddenly stopped and pointed fingers at
each other, saying simultaneously, “I didn’t
know anyone else thought like that! I
thought I was the only person who thinks
like I do!” Being gifted can be a very
lonely place unless you find at least one
friend.
11
Permit, encourage, and
arrange for gifted children
to spend time with other
kids who share their
interests and passions,
even if the other “kids” are
adults. Gifted children
don’t always need to
socialize with other gifted
kids to find true friends,
but it often helps!
12

Teach gifted children
to recognize and value
their abilities. This is
the most thoughtful
and enduring
expression of care an
adult can give.
13

Allow gifted children opportunities to
learn new things every day, no matter
how young or old they are. Letting
gifted children “just be children” likely
includes letting them learn faster,
deeper, and more than other kids their
age- and that’s okay!
14

Teachers, please
encourage gifted
children to explore, even
if their passions are
above-level or outside
of regular classroom
subjects. Share whatever
they find with them, but
don’t pressure them to
“present” it to the class
unless they want to.
15

Celebrate gifted children’s mistakes along
with their achievements. Openly embrace
your own mistakes to help your children
understand that finding the courage to try
is often more important than providing the
right answer. Tell children about mistakes
you’ve made and still make. It’s okay to
make mistakes; making mistakes and
practicing things repeatedly are how we
learn.
16

Give the gifted people in
your life time to pursue
their interests. The things
that we think they need to
be doing are often less
important to them than the
ideas they want to dream
about. Time to develop
and sometimes implement
these ideas is the most
sought-after commodity to
a gifted person- whether
a child or an adult.
17

Allow gifted individuals alone time.
Honor the need for solitude. “Alone”
does not always mean “lonely” for a
gifted person.
18

When you receive a barrage of “why”
and “how come” questions from your
curious gifted children, tell them,
“Together we’ll find out some answers.”
19

For families with ‘tweens: This is a challenging
age. It seems that gifted ‘tweens grow up
faster than their same-age peers, so be ready.
Continue to provide them boundaries, because
they will want to push them, Continue to be
their parent; they rely on you, even though
they might not admit it. Let them make
decisions and choices- as long as they’re not
physically harmful, illegal, or immoral. Ask
yourself, “ What’s the worst that could
happen?” If you and they can tolerate that
outcome, it will likely be okay. Continue to love
them unconditionally.
20

Teach children what
great philosophers
have said about
persons of genius and
society’s reactions to
them.
21

Give children choices,
promote their passions,
and allow them to
deviate from society’s
expectations.
22

When talking about your
gifted children to others,
especially if the children
are nearby and can hear
you, be encouraging and
affirming in what you say.
Children who overhear
positive statements about
them generally try to live
up to our expectations;
children who overhear
negative accounts usually
live down to our
expectations.
23

Spend special time with each gifted
child doing things that do not involve
competition. Competition is fine for
many situations, but too much
competition can lead gifted children to
believe that they are valued only for
what they can do, rather than just being
valued as a person.
24

Celebrate uniqueness.
Enjoy what makes your
gifted loved ones
special. Be quirky
yourself!
25

Why do uniquely gifted individuals so
often feel lonely and misunderstood? After
all, our society claims to treasure
individuality and freedom of spirit and
thought. Whether you are a parent or a
friend of a unique and gifted person or
you are that person, your connection to
SENG helps you realize that you are not
alone. Others do understand; they accept
that which makes us who we are, and that
makes all the difference in the world- our
world.