Revising and
Proofreading
Business Messages
By: Andrew Herman
Techniques
of writing
Techniques of reading
Knowing where mistakes are
Understanding punctuation marks
FLABBY
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At a later date
At this point in time
Afford an opportunity
Are of the opinion
The present time
Due to the fact that
During the time
Feel free to
For the period of
CONCISE
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Later
Now
Allow
Believe, think that
Now, presently
Because
While
Please
for
 Long
lead-ins have to much information
that is useless
• Ex..
 Wordy- this email message is being sent to all of you
to let you know that new parking permits will be
issued January 1.
 Concise- new parking permits will be
issued January 1.
OUTDATED EXPRESSION
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ARE IN RECEIPT OF
AS PER YOUR REQUEST
ATTACH HERETO
ENCLOSED PLEASE FIND
PURSUANT TO YOUR
REQUEST
THANK YOU IN ADVANCED
I TRUST THAT
UNDER SEPARATE COVER
MODERN PHRASES
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HAVE RECEIVED
AT YOUR REQUEST
ATTACHED
ENCLOSED IS/ARE
AT YOUR REQUEST
THANK YOU
I THINK, I BELIEVE
SEPARATELY
 If
these adverbs are taken away you
sound more business like and more
credible.
• Wordy- we actually didn’t give his proposal a
very fair trial.
• Concise- we did not give his proposal a fair trial.
 Fatten
sentence
 Begin an Idea with there is
 Take up space
 Fillers are some what unnecessary in
certain places
 Words
to avoid
 Shortens a message
 Improves readability
 Substituting pronouns
 Replace words used to much
 More
than is needed, desired, or
required
 Can
be seen as professional
 Traced to be 14th century old French
 Meaning twittering
 An outlandish, technical language of a
particular profession, group, or trade
 Slang
is compsed of language that go out
of style right away
 No longer appealing
 Out of fashion
 Clichés
are the old coins of language:
phrases that once made a striking
impression but have since been rubbed
smooth by repeated handling.
 Gives
a precise definition
 In stead of saying “contact you” you say I
will telephone, fax, e-mail, visit
 Needlessly
 Converted
to wordy nouns
 Check page 86
 Highly
descriptive
 Dynamic
 Don’t over use these
 More concrete
 Don’t use to many
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what to what for proof reading
• Spelling
• Grammar
• Punctuation
• Names and numbers
• Format
 Read
carefully
 Double words
 Spell checker
 Find errors and the tones
 Read every line twice
 standard proofreading marks
 Print
a copy double spaced
 Time to proofread adequately
 Be prepared to find more than usual
errors
 Read document at least 2 times
 Reduce your reading speed
 Have someone to read the document
outloud
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writingforward.com
english.udel.edu
stf.lea.org
iowapages.org……. Includes vivid verbs
www.grammarly.com
scottbush.net
thesebastards.blogspot.com