ELEMENTS OF STYLE:
DICTION
FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE
DESCRIPTION & DETAIL
POINT OF VIEW
DIALOGUE
SYNTAX
TONE
Creative Writing
Bernstein & Schacht
Lesson #1: Diction (Word Choice)
“The difference between the right word and
almost the right word is like the difference
between lightning and the lightning bug.”
~ Mark Twain
 “Many students have the misconception that
writers write with words, language detached
from information. They think that words are
pretty balloons filled with air. But writing that is
read has words that are firmly anchored to
meaning.” ~ Donald Murray
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Diction: Word Choice
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A study of diction is the analysis of how a
writer uses language for a distinct
purpose and effect, including WORD
CHOICE and FIGURES OF SPEECH.
Ways to Characterize Diction
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Informal
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Formal
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(personal writing)
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(academic or literary writing)
Bug
Folks
Job
Kid
Boss
Get across
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Germ
Relatives
Position
Child
Superior
Communicate
Ex. He is two fries short of a Happy Meal. (slang=highly informal)
He’s crazy. (informal)
He’s schizophrenic or insane. (formal)
Examples:
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The respite from study was devoted to a sojourn at the
ancestral mansion. (formal and artificial)
I spent my vacation at the house of my grandparents.
(informal and natural)
I endeavored to peruse the volume. (formal and artificial)
I tried to read the book. (informal and natural)
Please avoid the “let me impress you” formal and
artificial language and rely mostly on informal and
natural language.
Take it another step…
•Colloquial—conversational language
•Dialect-is there dialect?
•Slang—highly informal and not appropriate for
most technical writing, but can be appropriate for
many purposes in our class. It all depends on the
situation.
•Jargon—the special language of a profession or
group (lawyer or teacher talk, medical terminology,
technical words) that is usually formal
Ways to Characterize Diction
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Ex.
General
Look
Walk
Sit
Cry
Throw
Dog
Boy
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Specific
Gaze, stare, peer, ogle
Stride, slink, trot, shuffle
Slump, squat. Lounge
Weep, sob, bawl
Hurl, pitch, toss, flip
Black Labrador retriever
Tall lanky boy
The dishes fell to the floor with a loud noise (crashed or clattered).
He walked along slowly (ambled, sauntered).
He looked at her in an angry way (glowered, glared).
Ways to Characterize Diction
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Monosyllabic (Anglo-Saxon-think of the Germans
who brought us the English language-kill and grunt
story-curse words)-one syllable
Polysyllabic (Latinate/Greek-think of Renaissance
and beautiful words and adjectives)-many syllables
The more polysyllabic words, the more difficult the
text.
Ways to Characterize Diction
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Denotative
(Referential-dictionary)
Public servant
Financier
Law Officer
Legislative consultant
Investigator
Soldier of fortune
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Connotative
(Emotive-emotional)
Bureaucrat
Speculator
Cop
Lobbyist
Spy
Hired kill
Ways to Characterize Diction
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Euphonious
(Pleasant Sounding)
…Through the drizzling
rain on the steamy street
breaks the morning sun
Liquid infection
Tinkle
Butterfly
Cacophonous
(Harsh Sounding)
 …their loud songs bang
and grate nerves of the
wretched listeners
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Pus
Pee
Maggot
Things to Avoid: Redundant Language
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Redundant language occurs when you use words
that say the same thing.
 I: He has reverted back to smoking.
 C: He has reverted to smoking.
 I: My two twins are celebrating their birthday.
 C: My twins are celebrating their birthday.
Things to Avoid: Clichés
Clichés are phrases used so often that people no
longer pay attention to them.
 Writing an “A” paper is easier said than done.
 I’ll turn it in late, but it’s better late than never.
 Avoid using clichés in creative writing.
 Avoid using clichés in creative writing.
 Avoid using clichés in creative writing.
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Avoid these to stay healthy:
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Airing the dirty laundry
All bent out of shape
Beggars can’t be choosers
Butterflies in my stomach
A chicken with it’s head cut off
Grinning from ear to ear
Waiting for the dust to settle
Work my fingers to the bone
Like a pain in the neck
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Push your buttons
Off the hook
Tale between his legs
That hits the spot
Threw a curveball
Love is blind
Like shit off a shovel
Like butter
You snooze, you loose
Things to Avoid: Profanity
Is it ever okay to swear in your writing?
“I Could Be a Poet”
Taylor Mali
Style Lesson #2: Figures of Speech
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Does the passage use unusual images or patterns of imagery?
Does the author create analogies, like similes or metaphors?
Does the author use personification?
Is there deliberate hyperbole or understatement in the
passage?
Does the author employ paradox or oxymoron to add
complexity?
What part do rhythm and sound devices, such as alliteration or
onomatopoeia, play in the passage?
What purpose do the figures of speech serve, and what effect
do they have on the passage?
Imagery
• Visual – Sight
• Aural – Hearing
• Tactile – Touch
• Gustatory – Taste
• Olfactory – Smell
Comparative Language
• Simile : A figure of speech likening one thing to another by
the use of “like” or “as”.
• Metaphor: A figure of speech in which one thing is spoken of
as if it were another.
• Extended Metaphor: A metaphor in which the initial
comparison between two unlike things is made, and then
additional comparisons are made based on that initial
comparison.
• Hyperbole: An extreme exaggeration.
Other Comparative Techniques
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Personification: Giving living characteristics to things that aren’t alive.
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Agnomination: Assigning to a proper name its literal or homophonic
meaning.
• “Mr. Oak” could be a strong character or “Mr. Trout” may be a
fisherman.
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Antiprosopopoeia: Representing persons as inanimate objects.
• “He’s a doorknob” or “She’s a tool.”
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Metonymy: Reference to something or someone by naming one of
its/his/her attributes.
• Like the use of “Washington” to refer to the United States
government. Or the use of “The Crown” to refer to royalty.
Fog
The fog comes
On little cat feet.
It sits looking
Over harbor and city
On silent haunches
And then moves on.
~Carl Sandburg
Oxymoron and Paradox
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The oxymoron is a combination of unlike terms usually in the adjectivenoun form.
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friendly fire, quiet riot, living dead, adult male, athletic scholarship,
anxious patient, martial law, marijuana initiative, motorcycle safety
The paradox is a juxtaposition of incongruous ideas for the sake of creating
insight or controversy. It immediately creates a question in the reader’s mind
about reconciling the two contradictory sides to form a truth or conclusion.
 “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of
incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was
the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before
us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were
all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the
present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being
received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison
only.” ~ A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Rhyme
Perfect: Words that have the same end sound.
Smart/Heart
Slant: Words that are have the same first and last sounds
but different vowels in the middle.
Ball/Bell
Sound Devices
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Alliteration: the repetition of the same beginning
consonants
 My dinner was decidedly delicious.
Assonance: the repetition of the same vowel sounds in the
middle of words
 She is tall, gaunt and always around.
Consonance: the repetition of the same ending consonants
 I think we should crank up the funk.
Onomatopoeia: words that are spelled much like how they
sound
 I heard the crunch of bones.
Lesson #3: Description & Detail
Syntax: Sentence Structure
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Examine sentence patterns and variety for an
effect.
Function: What is the function of the sentence?
Declarative (statement)
Interrogative (question)
Imperative (command)
Exclamatory (exclamation)
Simple Compound Complex CompoundComplex
Grammatical: Which type is the sentence?
Simple Sentence (one subject, one verb)
The singer bowed her head to her adoring audience.
Compound Sentence (two independent clauses
joined by a conjunction or a semicolon)
The singer bowed to the audience, but she sang no encores.
Go and speak.
Simple Compound Complex CompoundComplex
Complex Sentence (one independent, one or more
subordinate clauses)
When I heard the concert, I enjoyed it because she sang beautifully.
When I really understand grammar and when I actually put it to use, my
grades in English will improve. (two dependent clauses, one independent
clause)
Compound-Complex (two or more independent and
one or more subordinate clauses)
The singer bowed while the audience applauded, but she sang no encores.
Where you go I will go, and where you dwell I will dwell.
Loose
Periodic
Balanced
Loose-main idea stated at the beginning of the sentence followed by additional
information. The sentence makes complete sense if brought to a close before the
actual ending,
We reached Columbia/ that morning/ after a turbulent flight.
He resigned after denouncing his accusers and asserting his own innocence time and time
again.
Periodic-main idea withheld until the end of the sentence. It makes sense only when
the end of the sentence is reached,
That morning after a turbulent flight, we reached Columbia.
After denouncing his accusers and asserting his own innocence time and time again, the
State Department official resigned.
Balanced/Parallel-the phrases or clauses balance each other in likeness or structure,
meaning, and/or length,
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.
To err is human, to forgive is divine.
Together we planned the house, together we built it, and together we watched it go up
in smoke.
He was walking, running, and jumping
Sentence Patterns:
Natural, Inverted, Split Order
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Natural Order-the subject comes first followed by the
predicate.
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Inverted Order (Sentence Inversions)-the predicate
comes before the subject.
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Oranges grow in California.
In California grow oranges.
Split Order- the predicate is divided into two parts
with the subject coming in the middle.
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In California oranges grow.
(Syntax)
Syntax Continued
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Juxtaposition-a poetic and rhetorical device in which normally
unassociated ideas, words, or phrases are placed next to one
another, creating an effect of surprise
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Repetition- a device in which words sounds, and ideas are used
more than once for the purpose of enhancing the rhythm and
creating emphasis.
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The apparition of those faces in the crowd; Petals on a wet, black bough…
…government of the people, by the people, for the people…
Rhetorical Question-a question which expects no answer used
to draw attention to a point and is usually stronger than a
direct statement.
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If Chase is always right, as you have said, why did he fail the writing
exam?
Syntax Review
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Are the sentences simple and direct or complex and
convoluted?
Are the sentences Loose/Cumulative (main idea at the
beginning) or Periodic (main idea withheld until end of
sentence)?
Are there rhetorical questions in the passage?
Is there variety in the sentence patterns?
Does the author use repetition (words, sounds, ideas more
than once for effect)?
Does the author use parallel structure (similarity in words or
phrases)?
Does the author use antithesis (contrasting images presented
with a balanced word or phrase)?
Does the author use juxtaposition (unrelated ideas, words,
phrases placed together for emphasis or surprise)?
Tone
The manner of expression showing the
author’s attitude toward characters,
events,or situations.
 Tone is reflected in the author’s
“voice.”
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Words to Describe Tone
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Pedantic
Euphemistic
Pretentious
Sensuous
Exact
Cultured
Plain
Literal
Colloquial
Artificial
Detached
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Poetic
Moralistic
Slang
Idiomatic
Esoteric
Symbolic
Simple
Complex
Figurative
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Vulgar
Scholarly
Insipid
Precise
Learned
Picturesque
Trite
Obscure
Bombastic
Grotesque
Tone passage from Ruth McKenny’s
“A Loud Sneer for Our Feathered Friends”
We refused to get out of the bed when the bugle blew in
the morning, we fought against scrubbing our teeth in
public to music, we sneered when the flag was
ceremoniously lowered at sunset, we avoided doing a
good deed a day, we complained loudly about the
food…and we bought some chalk and wrote all over
the Recreation Cabin, “We hate Camp Hiwah.”
How does the author establish the negative attitude the
campers have toward Camp Hiwah?
Does sentence structure also contribute to tone?
Tone Passage from James Ramsey Ullman’s “Kilimanjaro”
It has been called the House of God. It has been
called the High One. The Cold One. The White
One. On close acquaintance by climbers, it has
been called a variety of names rather less printable.
But to the world at large it is Kilimanjaro, the apex
of Africa and one of the great mountains on the
earth.
What is the author’s attitude toward Kilimanjaro?
How does the sentence structure help establish this
tone?
Tone Review
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What seems to be the speaker’s attitude in
the passage?
Is more than one attitude or point of view
expressed?
Does the passage have a noticeable
emotional mood or atmosphere?
What effect does tone have on the reader?
Point of View
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First Person
Narrator uses first person pronouns (I, my, mine, we, our, us,
etc.
 Access to the narrator’s consciousness
 Story is told through the eyes of main character
(protagonist), minor character, or outside observer
 Narrator is reliable when observer is used, but may not be
reliable when told by a character. The narrator may be
naïve or biased
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Point of View
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Third Person Omniscient (all knowing)
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Third person pronouns (he, she) mostly
Access to consciousness of more than one character, perhaps all
Story seen through eyes of an outside observer
Reliable as implied author’s voice
• Third Person Limited Omniscient
– Third person pronouns (he, she) mostly
– Access to consciousness of one character
– Story seen through eyes of an outside observer, protagonist, or
minor character whose presence dominates
– Reliable when observer is used, less reliable when character used
or when narrator intrudes or comments
Point of View
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Stream of Consciousness
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First or third person
Unbroken flow of perceptions, thoughts, and feelings
Narrator records in detail what passes through a character’s mind
List of Rhetorical Terms
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Alliteration
Assonance
Consonance
Simile/ Metaphor
Conceit
Imagery
Personification
Onomatopoeia
Hyperbole
Understatement
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Paradox
Oxymoron
Pun
Irony
Antithesis
Apostrophe
Allusion
Symbolism
Synecdoche
Metonymy
Zeugma
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Anaphora
Asyndeton
Cacophony
Chiasmus
Epistrophe
Euphemism
Juxtaposition
Parallelism
Polysyndeton
Repetition
Rhetorical
Question
ACTIVITY: READ “THE RATTLER.”
(P. 103 NOTEBOOK)
ANALYZE ELEMENTS SUCH AS
DICTION, SYNTAX, POINT OF VIEW,
AND TONE.