ToD Marriage Series PowerPoint

Ryan White
 Discuss the difference between Covenant and Contract.
 Discuss why YHWH created the institution of marriage.
 Discuss Genesis 1-3 from the aspect of a marriage covenant.
 Discuss principles in Genesis 1-3 that can make your
marriage blissful regardless of how bad it has become.
 Define the roles of a man and woman within a relationship.
 Discuss marriage, divorce, and women’s rights in the
ancient Near East.
 Compare and contrast marriage, divorce, and women’s
rights in the ancient Near East with the Torah.
 Discuss marriage, divorce, and women’s rights in the
First Century
 Compare and contrast views and rulings on marriage
and divorce in First Century Judaism with the words
of Yeshua and Paul.
Marriage as a Covenant by Gordon Hugenberger
Garden of Peace by Rabbi Shalom Arush
Flame of Yahweh by Richard Davidson
Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible by David InstoneBrewer
The Marriage Covenant by Derek Prince
Marriage as Covenant by John Tartwater
Madam I’m Adam (audio) by Rabbi Daniel Lapin
What God has Joined Together (audio) by Tim Hegg
 Genesis Sermon Series (audio) by Dr. Gordon Hugenberger
 ‘Adultery’ entry in the Encyclopedia of the Bible and Its
The Family in the Old Testament by J. Andrew Dearman
Women in Mesopotamia by M. Stol
A New Understanding of the Divorce and Remarriage
Legislation in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 by Anthony Garrett
A Typology of Israelite Marriage: Kinship, Socio-Economic,
and Religious Factors by Allen Guenther
 “No Fault” divorce introduced in 1970’s
 Skyrocketing divorce rates
 Over 50% of marriages today end in
 No difference between Christian and
 Marriage rates down 33%
 ~70% of married people unhappy
 Individual choice over moral responsibility
 Individuality over community
 Independence over interdependence
“An elected, as opposed to natural,
relationship of obligation established under
divine sanction.”
“A private legal or commercial agreement of
which the principle guarantors are the courts
and community rather than God or the gods.”
1. Personal Relationship
2. Election
3. Obligation
4. Oath
“Again I passed by you and looked upon you
and saw that your time was the time of love.
And I spread My skirt over you and covered
your nakedness. And I swore an oath to you
and entered into a covenant with you, and you
became Mine,” declares the Master ‫יהוה‬.
 Death rates for divorced men are 70% higher than
their married counterparts
 Death rates for divorced women are 37% higher than
their married counterparts
 Unemployment rate amongst divorced men is 3 times
higher than that of their married counterparts
Have we not all one Father? Did not one create
us? Why do we act treacherously against one
another, to profane the covenant of the fathers?
Yehudah has acted treacherously, and an
abomination has been done in Yisra’el and in
Yerushalayim, for Yehudah has profaned what is
set-apart to ‫ – יהוה‬which He had loved – and has
married the daughter of a foreign mighty one.
Let ‫ יהוה‬cut off from the tents of Ya’akov the
man who does this – stirring up or answering,
and bringing an offering to ‫ יהוה‬of hosts!
And this you have done a second time: you
cover the altar of ‫ יהוה‬with tears, with
weeping and crying, because He no longer
regards the offering, nor receives it with
pleasure from your hands.
And you said, “Why?” Because ‫ יהוה‬has
been witness between you and the wife of
your youth, against whom you have acted
treacherously, though she is your
companion and your wife by covenant.
In the same way, husbands, live
understandingly together, giving respect to
the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the favor of life, so
that your prayers are not hindered.
And if anyone does not provide for his own,
and especially for those of his household, he
has denied the belief and is worse than an
And did He not make one? And He had
the remnant of the Spirit? And what is
the one alone? He seeks a seed of Elohim.
So you shall guard your spirit, and let
none act treacherously against the wife of
his youth.
“For I hate divorce,” said ‫ יהוה‬Elohim of
Yisra’ĕl, “and the one who covers his
garment with cruelty,” said ‫ יהוה‬of hosts.
“So you shall guard your spirit, and do
not act treacherously.”
(The Scriptures 1998+)
"If one hates and divorces," says Yahweh,
God of Israel, "he covers his garments
with violence," says Yahweh of Host,
"Therefore take heed to yourself and do
not be faithless [against your wife]“
(Hugenberger’s Rendition)
 ‫ ׁשלח‬shalach H7971 – “to send out”
 Idiom for “to divorce”
 Deut 24:3, Isaiah 50:1
 ‫ ּגרׁש‬garash H1644 – “drive out/driven out”
 Idiom for “to divorce” or a divorced woman
 Gen 21:10, Lev 21:7, 22:13, Num 30:10-12
 ‫ ספר כריתת‬sefer keritut H3748 – “bill of divorce”
 Began with commitment and then searched
for romance
 Age: Girls 14-20, boys 26-32
 Arranged, but still given a choice
 Roles in the marriage
 Husband:
 Civic and military affairs
 Provides income, protects household, represents
family in court
 Wife:
 Administers the household and the family
 Bride-price
 Given by the groom to the bride’s father
 Usually ~1 years wages
 Dowry
 Given by the bride’s father to the bride
 In the husband’s control and/or sewn into the
bride’s gown
 Usually 5-25% of the estate
 While it is never prohibited, the Scriptures
teach monogamy as ideal
 Most commonly practiced by commoners for
the reason of progeny.
 Surrogate motherhood
 Cost prohibitive
 Deut 17:17 & the Essenes
 Witnessed adultery = death
 Court proven adultery = divorce
 Adulterous wife publically stripped
 Suspected adultery – Numbers 5:11-31
 ANE divine river ordeal
 Lying about adultery
 Deut 22:13-21
 Attempt to steal dowry
Just Cause divorce
 Children stay with father
 Wife loses dowry
 Childlessness was in contract as just ground
Unjust Cause divorce
 Generally accepted in the ANE
 Dowry returned to wife
 Deut 22 & Mal 2:16 imply this was unacceptable
 Legal reasons for divorce
 For man:
 The woman is not a virgin
 She refuses cohabitation
 She commits adultery
 She contracts a disease
 She has bad behavior
 Legal reasons for divorce
 For woman (only in some cultures):
 Bad behavior of the husband
 He refuses cohabitation
 He is abroad for a long time (i.e. POW)
 If woman couldn’t prove neglect, she would be
put to death
 Some reasons included in marriage contracts
such as in cases of polygamy
(Speaking of an amah or maidservant marriage):
Exodus 21:10-11
“If he takes another wife, her food, her covering,
and her marriage rights are not to be diminished.
And if he does not do these three for her, then she
shall go out for naught, without silver. “
Understood by most ANE cultures as well as all
3 major sects of Judaism in the 1st Century.
Valid grounds for divorce were:
 Lack of food
 Lack of clothing
 Lack of marital rights
 Mainly sexual, but included was prohibition
against physical abuse
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
“When a man takes a wife and shall marry her,
then it shall be, if she finds no favor in his eyes
because he has found a matter of uncoveredness in
her, and he shall write her a certificate of divorce,
and put it in her hand, and send her out of his
house, and if she left his house and went and
became another man’s wife, and the latter
husband shall hate her and write her a certificate
of divorce, and put it in her hand,
and send her out of his house, or when the latter
husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her
former husband who sent her away is not allowed
to take her back to be his wife after she has been
defiled, for that would be an abomination before
‫ יהוה‬.And do not bring sin on the land which ‫יהוה‬
your Elohim is giving you as an inheritance.
 Due to poorer population, the bride-price was
no longer paid; it was promised to the father
of the bride and then paid if the man divorced
the woman.
 Fathers would give large dowries to ensure
that the daughters would be self sufficient if
death or divorce occurred.
Mishnah Ketubot 7.6
These are to be divorced without receiving their
Kethubah [Dowry]: a wife who transgresses the
Law of Moses or [one who transgresses] Jewish
practice. And what is [regarded as a wife`s
transgression against] the Law of Moses? Feeding
her husband with untithed food, having
intercourse with him during the period of her
menstruation, not setting apart her dough
offering, or making vows and not fulfilling them.
And what [is deemed to be a wife`s
transgression against] Jewish practice? Going
out with uncovered head, spinning in the street
or conversing with every man. Abba Saul said:
[such transgressions include] also that of a wife
who curses her husband`s parents in his
presence. R. Tarfon said: also one who screams.
And who is regarded a screamer? A woman
whose voice can be heard by her neighbours
when she speaks inside her house.
Tosephta Ketubot 7.6 adds:
" and she who goes out with bother her sides
[shoulders] uncovered…and bathes in a public
bath with any man."
Mishnah Sotah 6.1
Requires trial by bitter waters even if she is
found alone in a room with a man
Exodus 21:10-11
“If he takes another wife, her food, her covering, and
her marriage rights are not to be diminished. And if
he does not do these three for her, then she shall go out
for naught, without silver. “
 qol vahomer (argument from major to minor)
 If this case is true…then surely this must be
Lack of food, Lack of clothing, Lack of marital
 Mishna Ketubah 5.6 - "...those without work,
every day; workers, twice a week; donkey
drivers, once a week, camel drivers, once in
thirty days; sailors, once in six months - the
words of R. Eliezer“
 Rabbis allowed themselves 30 days of abstinence
for Torah study...
Mishnah Gittin 9.10
Beth Shammai say: a man should not divorce his
wife unless he has found her guilty of some unseemly
conduct, as it says, because he hath found some
unseemly thing in her. Beth Hillel, however, say [that
he may divorce her] even if she has merely spoilt his
food, since it says, because he hath found some
unseemly thing in her. R. Akiba says, [He may
divorce her] even if he finds another woman more
beautiful than she is, as it says, it cometh to pass, if
she find no favor in his eyes.
Matthew 19:3-6
And the Pharisees came to Him, trying Him, and
saying to Him, “Is it right for a man to put away
his wife for every reason?” And He answering,
said to them, “Did you not read that He who made
them at the beginning made them male and
female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave
his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh’? “So that they are
no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what
Elohim has joined together, let man not separate.”
Matthew 19:7-9
They said to Him, “Why then did Mosheh
command to give a certificate of divorce, and to
put her away?” He said to them, “Because of the
hardness of your hearts, Mosheh allowed you to
put away your wives, but from the beginning it
was not so. “And I say to you, whoever puts away
his wife, except on the ground of whoring, and
marries another, commits adultery. And whoever
marries her who has been put away commits
Matthew 19:10-12
His taught ones said to Him, “If such is the case of
the man with his wife, it is good not to marry.”
And He said to them, “Not all receive this word,
but only those to whom it has been given, for there
are eunuchs who were so born from their mother’s
womb, and there are eunuchs who were made
eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have
made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the reign
of the heavens. He who is able to receive it, let him
receive it.”
1. Monogamy
a. Gen 1:27 was standard proof text, see Damascus
document CD 4:20-5:6
2. Marriage should be lifelong
a. Divorce is not God’s will
3. Divorce is not compulsory, even with
a. Hardness of hearts – Unwilling to repent
4. Marriage is not compulsory
Thus infertility is not valid grounds for
5. Divorce for “any matter” is invalid
Ruling against Hillel
6. Remarriage is invalid after an “any matter”
Ruling against Shammai
1 Corinthians 7:1-4
And concerning the matters you wrote to me: It is
good for a man not to touch a woman. But because
of whoring, let each one have his own wife, and let
each woman have her own husband. Let the
husband render to his wife what is her due, and
likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife
does not have authority over her own body, but the
husband does. And likewise the husband does not
have authority over his own body, but the wife
1 Corinthians 7:5-8
Do not deprive one another except with agreement
for a time, to give yourselves to fasting and prayer.
And come together again so that Satan does not
try you because of your lack of self-control. And I
say this as a concession, not as a command. For I
wish that all men were even as I myself. But each
one has his own gift from Elohim, one in this way
and another in that. And I say to the unmarried
and to the widows: It is good for them if they
remain even as I am
1 Corinthians 7:9-13
but if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for
it is better to marry than to burn. And to the married I
command, not I, but the Master: A wife should not
separate from a husband. But if she is indeed separated,
let her remain unmarried or be restored to favour with
her husband, and let a husband not send away a wife.
And to the rest I say, not the Master: If any brother has
an unbelieving wife, and she thinks well to live with him,
let him not send her away. And a woman who has an
unbelieving husband, and he thinks well to live with her,
let her not send him away.
1 Corinthians 14-16
For the unbelieving husband has been set-apart in
the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been setapart in the husband. Otherwise your children
would be unclean, but now they are set-apart.
And, if the unbelieving one separates, let him
separate himself. A brother or a sister has not been
enslaved in such matters. But Elohim has called us
to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether
you shall save your husband? Or how do you
know, O husband, whether you shall save your
Standard Jewish Divorce Certificate:
You are free to marry any Jewish man you wish
1 Corinthians 7:39
A wife is bound by Torah as long as her
husband lives, and if her husband dies, she is
free to be married to whom she desires, only in
the Master.
 qol vahomer – We know remarriage after a
valid divorce is possible…
“Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the
“An eye is unable to say to the hand, “I have no need
of you”
“Those members of the body which are thought to
be weaker are necessary”
“To those of the body which we think to be less
respected, these we present greater respect”
“The husband is head of the wife, as also the
Messiah is head of the assembly”
“Husbands, love your wives, as Messiah also did love
the assembly and gave Himself for it”
“Husbands ought to love their own wives as their
own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”
Ryan White
 Genesis 2:24
 Malachi 2:15
 Matthew 19:5-6 (Mark 10:8)
 1 Corinthians 6:16
 Ephesians 5:31
Proverbs 5:19
A loving deer and a pleasant doe! Let her
breasts satisfy you at all times. And be
captivated by her love always.
 Written by Mosheh
 Focus on marital relationship
 Multiple viewpoints
 Ancient Near Eastern treaty language
 Male-oriented
 Preamble
 Vs.4 ‫ יהוה‬Elohim
 Historical Prologue
 Vs.5-14 Adam created and given the Garden
 Stipulations
 Vs.15 Work and Guard (a job)
 Vs.17a Do not eat…
 Sanctions
 Blessings:
 Vs.18-22 Woman made for Adam
 Curses:
 Vs.17b You will surely die
 Dynastic Disposition
 Vs.24 Leave his mother and father
Genesis 1:26-28
 Departure from ANE norm
 Created as king and queen
 Image-bearers of Elohim
 Romans 9:20
 Differentiation of sexes
 Principle of the Seed
Genesis 2:7-18
 What’s wrong with being single?
 Why was Adam created first?
 What was the cure for man’s ineptitude?
 What’s about the study of Torah?
 Defining ‫‘( עזר‬ezer)
 Hosea 13:9, Isaiah 41:10;13, Psalm 33:20,
Exodus 18:4
 Subordinate or other half?
 Defining ‫(כנגדו‬kenegdo/neged)
 Why is it important to be “opposite”?
 “Standing in front of while facing”
 Much like a mirror
 Wife as our mirror
 Reflection of male leadership
 1 Corinthians 11:1
 Amplification of the leader
 How to correct your spouse
 How to become the king
 Veiling/lethargy
 Similarity to Genesis 15
 Meaning of the word ‘love’
 Why use the rib?
 Comparison to ANE literature
 Covenantal Oath
 1 Chronicles 11:1
 Why compliment Ishah if there were no other women
around to compete with?
 Ish and Ishah
(Insert fire graphic)
Two are better than one, because they have a good
reward for their labor. For if they fall, one lifts his
companion up. But woe to him who is alone when he
falls, for he has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie
down together, they keep warm; but how does one keep
warm by himself? Although one might be overpowered,
two withstand him. And a threefold cord is not readily
 Ba’al = husband, pagan deity, animal, or inanimate
 Proverbs 1:17, Isaiah 41:15
 Ba’al role is:
 Owner or master, to have domination over
something or someone, or decision-making
member of the community
 Ish refers to man as counterpart or companion
 Why does the man have to leave his
 ‘Leave’ (azab)
 Deuteronomy 28:20
 Comparison to ANE literature
 Dynastic disposition
 Why leave the mother?
 You MUST put your wife first
 Cleave
 Deut 11:22, 30:20; Ruth 1:14
 Two become Echad Basar
 Ephesians 5:28-29
 More than physical nakedness
 Arom (H6174)
 Not fully clothed or not clothed in normal
 Erom (H5903)
 Full and shameful nudity
 Why was the serpent in Gan Eden?
 Why does the serpent speak to Ishah?
 Serpent = nachash (H5175/5172)
 Brass, enchantment, shining
 Males attracted through eyes, Females through
 Crafty = Arum (H6175)
‫ערּום ערום‬
 How was the serpent ‘cunning’?
 Who received the divine mandate?
 Covenant lawsuit against the Creator
 Ishah’s response
 Serpent’s rebuttal
 Usurping authority
 Reversing the hierarchy
 Erom vs. Arom – shame
 Why is this written?
 Hosea 2:3 – Stripped naked
 What is the significance of fig leaves?
 What would have been the proper course of
 Historical Prologue
 Calling of Witnesses
 Interrogation
 Indictment of the accused
 Verdict rendered
 Who’s fault was it?
 Transference of authority
 The woman vs. my wife
 Taking responsibility
 Does arguing, criticizing, or blaming ever work?
 “The serpent deceived me…”
 Pattern: Punishment -> blessing
 “Her desire shall be for her husband and he
shall rule over her”
 Overcomes natural instinct
 Difficulty in raising children
 Mashal (H4910)
 2 Samuel 23:3, Proverbs 17:2, Zechariah 6:13
 Matthew 20:25-26
 Genesis 1 – ‘subdue’ (kabash H3533) and ‘rule’
(radah H7287)
 Desire and rule
 Genesis 4:7
 Her desire, NOT his desire
 Only Adam gets any explanation
 Punishment and Blessing
 Productivity and purpose
 Free vs. earned
 Change the name, change the role/function
 Restoration of marriage/Covenant renewal
 Covenant ratification ceremony
 Name given
 Animal Sacrificed
 Same terminology used in Leviticus 8:7 for
the kohenim
 According to Leviticus 7:8, the skins of
sacrificed animals belong exclusively to the
 (Re)adoption and reconfirmation of
continuity of inheritance
 Sent out = Shalach
 Deuteronomy 22:19, 24:3
 Isaiah 50:1
 Drove out = Garash
 Genesis 21:10, Leviticus 21:7, 14
 Why only Adam?
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