Third Culture Kids
There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
I can’t…
But I did anyway,
And nobody knew I couldn’t.
I don’t want to…
But nobody else said they didn’t.
So I put down my panic
and picked up my luggage
and got on the plane.
There was no funeral.
--”Mock Funeral” by Alex Graham James
Definition of ‘Third Culture Kid’
• “A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has
spent a significant part of his or her
developmental years outside the parents’
culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of
the cultures, while not having full ownership
in any. Although elements from each culture
are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience,
the sense of belonging is in relationship to
others of similar background.” (Pollock and
Van Reken, 1999)
Examples of TCK’s
• Traditional TCK’s—Children who move into another
culture with parents due to a parent’s career choice
• Bi/multi-cultural/and/or bi/multi-racial children—
Children born to parents from at least two cultures or
races
• Children of immigrants—Children whose parents have
made a permanent move to a new country where they
were not originally citizens
• Children of refugees—Children whose parents are
living outside their original country or place due to
unchosen circumstances such as war, violence, famine,
or other natural disasters
Examples of TCK’s
• Children of minorities—Children whose parents are
from a racial or ethnic group which is not part of the
majority or ethnicity of the country in which they live
• International adoptees—Children adopted by parents
from another country other than the one of that child’s
birth
• “Domestic” TCK’s—Children whose parents have
moved in or among various subcultures within that
child’s home country
Children are often in more than one of
these categories at the same time.
IDENTITY
HOW MANY IDENTITIES DO
YOU HAVE?
HOW MANY IDENTITIES DOES
YOUR CHILD HAVE?
WHAT IS IDENTITY?
Identity “represents the process by
which the person seeks to integrate
his/her various statuses and roles, as
well as his diverse experiences, into a
coherent image of self”. (Epstein,
1978)
Answering the question ‘Who am
I?’ is one of the biggest tasks of
the adolescent (adult?) years.
However, some adolescents may
become overwhelmed by the task
of identity development and
neither explore nor make
commitments.
CULTURE
“Culture consists of the values, traditions, social
and political relationships, and worldview created,
shared, and transformed by a group of people
bound together by a common history, geographic
location, language, social class, and/or religion.”
Nieto (1999)
SIGNIFICANCE OF CULTURE
• When we have stayed in a particular culture long enough to
internalize its behaviors and the assumptions behind them,
we have an almost intuitive sense of what is right,
humorous, appropriate, or offensive in any particular
situation. Being “in the know” gives us a sense of stability,
deep security, and belonging.
• When we are having to learn and relearn the basic rules by
which the world around us is operating, our energies are
spent on surviving rather than thriving; struggling to
understand what is happening rather than fully
participating in the event.
SIGNIFICANCE OF CULTURE
When people first go to another country as
adults, they experience culture shock and need a
period of adjustment, but their value system,
sense of identity, and the establishment of core
relationships with family and friends have already
developed in the home culture. Their basic sense
of who they are and where they belong are
intact. Children and adolescents who move
among different cultures are doing so before they
have formed their own personal and cultural
identity.
The “Generic” Stages of Cultural
Identity Development Models
• First Stage: Lack of awareness of the
importance of culture
• Intermediate Stages: Psychological discomfort,
self-examination, association with dominant
culture, rejection of dominant culture, overidentification with own culture
• Final Stage: Self-acceptance and appreciation
of own culture (which may now be an
integration of several other cultures)
Pro’s of Being a TCK
• Greater understanding of other
cultures builds sensitivity and awareness
(flexibility, tolerance, respect)
• Reflective thinkers—knowing that there are
many ways to approach a given situation and
that their way may not be the best way
• Stronger practical skills—observational skills,
listening skills, cross-cultural skills, social skills,
linguistic skills
Pro’s of Being a TCK
• Quick, adaptable thinkers who are used to
thinking outside of the box
• Globally minded and have a keen understanding
for what is happening in the world around them
• Develop sensitivity and empathy at an earlier age
and at a deeper level
• Mature (in some areas) more quickly—early
autonomy, relationship to adults, broad base of
knowledge
Pro’s of Being a TCK
• International schools offer enhanced and
enriched academic programs and have good
links with many universities around the world
• Increased opportunities to travel and
experience new cultures first hand—authentic
learning experiences
• Drawn to careers associated with service to
the community or the world
Con’s of Being a TCK
• Lack of a ‘home base’ means it’s hard
for TCK’s to have an identity of where they are from or
what nationality they truly are, which can create a
feeling of emptiness
• The emotional upset of having to say goodbye to
people and places on a regular basis
• Educational gaps due to different curriculums being
followed at different schools
• Confused loyalties—sense of confusion about
complex things such as politics, patriotism, and
values
Con’s of Being a TCK
• The anger felt toward parents for ‘plucking’ them
away from their ‘home’
• The guilt felt that is associated with being angry
at parents
• Culture shock
• Finding it difficult to make new connections and
friends—”what’s the point if we’re going to move
on again soon anyway”—separation anxiety,
loneliness and isolation
• Unidentified learning disabilities
Con’s of Being a TCK
• Family disharmony
• Unresolved grief/anger—saying goodbye hurts
• May not deal well with conflicts. It has always
been easier to ‘outwait’ them, knowing
another move is coming soon
• Seen as unpatriotic if a TCK tries to present
another culture’s potential viewpoint
• The rootless and restless syndrome. “I don’t
belong anywhere.”
What can schools do to help?
• Ensure you have counselors 
• Ensure you have enough counselors for the
number of students in your school (1:250)
• Transition programs
• Orientation programs
• Advisory programs
What can parents do to help?
• Involve your children in decision-making during the move (to the
extent possible)
• Allow your children choices to establish a sense of control in their
lives (where to have dinner , what movie to see, etc.)
• Provide time for children to grieve and be supportive of their needs—
each move is a TRUE loss for them
• Have a ‘home base’ in what you consider to be your home, that you
visit at least once a year where your child has their own room.
What can parents do to help?
• Talk about your home culture and keep connected with family
still living in your ‘home base’
• Validate and acknowledge (and at times this may include
educating and labeling) the emotions and feelings your child is
experiencing; for many people simply discovering that there
are legitimate reasons for their feelings not only helps them
understand themselves better, it also normalizes their
experience.
• Build strong ties in each community in which you live
• Set aside special “family time” and establish family traditions
What can parents do to help?
• Seek help from your school counselor
• Seek help from an outside counselor
• Provide opportunities for your children to express
their grief/anger (journaling, scrapbooking, etc.)
• Allow opportunities for children to connect with
family and friends back home to help ease the
transition into their new culture/home
What can children do to help
themselves?
• Research where you are going before you get
there
• Be involved in family conversations and
decisions about where you are moving to
• Learn about the new country you will be living
in prior to moving there
• Connect with your new school via the
counselor or a student
What can children do to help
themselves?
• Have someone you can talk to about your
feelings
• Know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and
unsure
• Become involved in after school activities,
clubs and community events
Interesting Info…
• TCK’s tend to have more in common with one
another, regardless of nationality, than they
do with non-TCKs from their own country
• TCK’s link, bond and look to their peers for
norms and acceptance much more readily
than they will do with adults ???
• TCK’s generally are much more successful in
higher education and in attaining high level
jobs
TCK’s becoming TCA’s
What happens when your TCK grows up and
goes “home”?
Where to go?
Feeling different from
others may cause
difficulty in forming peer
relationships even more
often at the university
level or when returning
to a "passport" country,
where students feel
misunderstood by their
fellow countrymen.
“My lack of understanding of common topics of
conversation such as TV shows and politics was
embarrassing. My gap of knowledge in the
modern culture with regard commercials,
programs/activities growing up, and that my
peers did not understand my experiences, was
a constant reminder of my time away from ‘the
norm.’ Reverse Culture Shock does exist.”
Warren Heaps, TCK
So what are the options?
ACO’s (American Colleges Overseas)
Pros
Cons
• Student bodies are approximately
50-85% internationals, many of
whom are TCK’s
• Diversity and tolerance are the
norm
• Peer-to peer support / mentoring
• International Networking –
benefits as an Alumni when they
become expats themselves
• “Closer to home” – sometimes
locations are near family/parents,
easing the transition
• Lose the opportunity to
reconnect with home in a
concentrated and
controlled environment
• Harder to gauge the
relative value of some ACO
diplomas/schools
• Prolongs the TCK culture
so that the transition into
a non-TCK culture is
significantly delayed
Go someplace new!
Pros
Cons
• Feed the inner
nomad
• Experience new
cultures
• Grow a
language
• Embrace the
international
identity
• Often a new
system of
education
• Potential loss of
personal
identity
• Feelings of
helplessness can
make this move
difficult
Return “home” and reacclimatize
Pros
• Chance to reconnect with
home culture and learn
what it means to be from a
certain country
• Reconnect with family
• Far more schooling options
• Challenge of new school
environment
• Community opportunities
Cons
• Sense of not belonging
• Ill-equipped to deal with
transitions on own
• Superiority/inferiority
complex
• Can be far from parents
• Often not recognized as
international by university
Questions??