Building Rapport
Ron Finklestein
Business Growth Experience
Sales Rainmaker Program
330-990-788
ron@businessgrowthexperience.com
Copyright © 2012 RPF GROUP INC and The Business Growth Experience
Building Rapport
Language
Pacing
Matching
Mirroring
Indications of Rapport
Favored Representational Systems
Using What You Learned
Language
• Verbal 7%
• Tonality (how you sound) 38%
• Physiology (How you look) 55%
Verbal (7%)
• Predicates
– to proclaim; declare; affirm; assert.
– to affirm or assert (something)
– to connote; imply
• Key Words
– a word that serves as a key, as to the meaning of
another word, a sentence, passage, or the like
• Common Experiences (stories)
• Content Chunks (communication style)
Tonality (38%)
• Tone (pitch)
– a particular quality, way of sounding, modulation, or
intonation of the voice as expressive of some meaning,
feeling, spirit, etc.
• Tempo (Speed)
• Timbre (quality)
– the characteristic quality of a sound,
independent of pitch and loudness, from which its
source or manner of production can be inferred.
• Volume (loudness)
Physiology
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Posture
Gestures
Facial Expressions
Blinking
Breathing
Pacing
• How fast the move
• How fast they talk
Matching
• Their Actions (sit, hold pencil, hold cup, etc)
• The way they dress (tie, causal, business
casual)
Mirroring
• Same a matching – Except …
Indications of Rapport
• Kinesthetic - Internal Feeling (feeling of warmth,
usually along the midline of the torso (aka
butterflies)
• Visual - Color Shift (Might be a change in color in
both people usually from the neck up.)
• Auditory – Word they use: “Do I know you?”,
“Have we met before?”, “I feel like we have know
each other for years!”
• Leading – Rapport is state of responsiveness
(both people responding to each other)
Exercise
Favored Representational Systems
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Visual (see images)
Auditory (hear discussions)
Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body)
Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)
Favored Representational Systems
• Visual (see images)
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Sit & Stand with Head & Body Erect
Breath from top of the lungs
Move their eye up
Well organized
Well groomed
Memorize by seeing picture
Noise does not both them
Have trouble remembering verbal instruction
Interested in how your product or service look to them
Appearance is very important to them
Favored Representational Systems
• Auditory (hear discussions)
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Move eye side to side
Breath from the middle of the chest
Talk to themselves (some will even move their lips)
Easily distracted by noise
Learn by listening
Like music and talking on the phone
Repeat conversation back to you easily
Memorize by steps
Like to be told how they are doing
Respond to tone of voice or set of words
Interested in what you “have to say.”
Favored Representational Systems
• Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body)
– Breath from bottom of their lungs
– Move & talk very slow
– Like physical rewards and touching
– Stand closer to people than visual people
– Memorize by doing (walking though)
– It needs to feel right
Favored Representational Systems
• Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)
– Spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves
– Does product or service make sense
Predicate Word – Visual
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See
Look
View
Appear
Show
Dawn
Envision
Clear
Foggy
Focused
Predicate Word – Auditory
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Hear
Listen
Sounds
Make music
I am all ears
Be heard
Deaf
Predicate Word – Kinesthetic
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Feel
Touch
Grasp
Get hold of
Sit through
Catch on
Tap into
Hard
Concrete
Get a handle
Predicate Word – Auditory Digital
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Sense
Experience
Understand
Think
Learn
Motivate
Consider
Change
Perceive
Know
Insensitive
How Do You Build Rapport
• Use the words they use
• Match and mirror (Tonality, Speed, Pitch)
• Test for rapport (Leading)