Listening and dialogue
Rebecka Arman
Four fields of conversation (Isaacs)
• Flow
dialogue
• Politeness
• Inquiry
4
3
1
2
• Break
through
Modes of communication
• Serial monologue (phase 1)
– Solo advocacy
– Making speeches
– Maintain a smooth surface (politeness)
• Verbal brawling/unproductive discussion (1-2)
– Win/lose
– No Inquiry
– Control Outcome
– Soft data, implicit reasoning
Modes of communication ctd
• Facilitated conversation (phase 2-3)
– Guided conversation
– Structured Inquiry (AI?)
• Skillful conversation (phase 3)
– Hard (observable) data
– Explicit reasoning
– Productive Inquiry
Modes of conversation ctd
• Reflective dialogue (phase 3)
– Restructuring underlying thinking
– Clarifies choices
– Surfaces deep questions/puzzles
• Generative dialogue (phase 4)
– Recreates underlying thinking
– Transforms tacit thought
– Enables wisdom to emerge
– Produces insight and compulsion to act
Four fields of conversation
• Flow
dialogue
• Politeness
• Inquiry
4
3
1
2
• Break
through
The four player model
Move
Function: direction
Bystand
Follow
Function: perspective
Function: completion
Oppose
Function: correction
Action positions and fears
Action intends:
But sometimes comes
across as:
Mover
Discipline
Commitment
Perfection
Clarity
Impatient
Indecisive
Scattered
Dictatorial
Follower
Loyalty
Service
Continuity
Compassion
Placating
Indecisive
Wishy-Washy
Over accommodating
Opposer
Courage
Protection
Integrity
Survival
Critical
Competitive
Blaming
Contrary
Bystander
Patience
Preservation
Moderation
Self-Reflection
Disengaged
Judgmental
Deserting
Withdrawn
Silent
When one or more dynamic is missing
Intent
What can I do?
How can I help provide
what is missing?
Move
Jointly design
action
“I think we should XX,
Sarah would you…?”
“Sarah, what do you
think we should do?”
Follow
Commit to trying
another’s direction
“That’s a great idea!
How can I help?”
“How can we support
Peter’s suggestion?”
Oppose
Raise differences
to purposes of
testing
“An alternative
approach might be
to…”
“Does anyone see
anything in this that
might not work?”
Bystand
Test your view of
what’s happening
“I’ve noticed that
we’ve been circling the
same topic for some
time. Perhaps we want
to…”
“What are we
overlooking?”
Four fields of conversation
• Flow
dialogue
• Politeness
• Inquiry
4
3
1
2
• Break
through
Practices for Dialogue (Isaacs)
Voice
Speaking from
one’s deepest self
Suspend
Listen
Stepping back to
perceive what is taken
for granted
To partake of and take
part in
Respect
Honoring and witnessing
the legitimacy of
another’s stance and
point of view
Assumption Identification
The ladder of inference (Argyris/Senge):
Actions (based on beliefs)
Adoption of beliefs (about the world)
Drawing conclusions
Making assumptions (based on meanings)
Adding meaning to observation (personal/cultural)
Observation/data (experiences)
Exercise with Four practices
• Think of a recent conversation that you had that was
difficult, in some way
• Five minutes to write it down:
– What you said and what the other(s) said, as you recall it
• Work three persons together:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
3 minutes tell each other briefly about the conversations
Choose one to work with
Decide who is coach and one is observer
Tell about the conversation in a little more detail
One minute silence
7 minutes questions and answers, INQUIRY
7 minutes feed-back from all: what did you learn? When
did the conversation open up?