Word Choice in Terms
of Style, Tone, and
Clarity
Tutorial #1: Delete Redundant
Material
 Redundant material includes words or phrases that
repeat ideas in the sentence.
 The Rule: Delete redundant Words and Phrases. Avoid
wordiness.
Explanation of Skill
 Redundant Phrase: Mary was alarmingly startled by the
lightening strike.
 Concise Sentence: Mary was startled by the lightening
strike.
Redundant Pairs
 Terrible tragedy
 Past history
 Each individual
 Final outcome
 Past memories
 True facts
Redundant Categories
 (large) in size
 (heavy) in weight
 (period) in time
 (tall) in height
Abbreviation Categories
 AIDS syndrome
 PIN number
 ATM machine
 CD disk
 AM morning
 PM afternoon
Incorrect:
 The football player suffered a harmful injury during the
game.
 Tom stood in his backyard behind his house.
Correct:
 The football player suffered and injury during the game.
 Tom stood in his backyard.
ACT Examples
It wasn’t long before the mob had
William completely surrounded. It
hadn’t gone unnoticed that William
had been spending his afternoons
outside of the community center.
A.
B.
C.
D.
NO CHANGE
entirely surrounded
surrounded completely
surrounded
ACT Examples
It wasn’t long before the mob had
William completely surrounded. It
hadn’t gone unnoticed that William
had been spending his afternoons
outside of the community center.
A.
B.
C.
D.
NO CHANGE
entirely surrounded
surrounded completely
surrounded
ACT Examples
In An Ordinary Man, Paul
Rusesabagina’s autobiography of
his life, Rusesabagina examined the
complexities of the Rwandan
Genocide and offers commentary
on how to prevent future atrocities
from happening.
A.
B.
C.
D.
NO CHANGE
autobiography
own autobiography
autobiography of his own
ACT Examples
In An Ordinary Man, Paul
Rusesabagina’s autobiography of
his life, Rusesabagina examined the
complexities of the Rwandan
Genocide and offers commentary
on how to prevent future atrocities
from happening.
A.
B.
C.
D.
NO CHANGE
autobiography
own autobiography
autobiography of his own
Obvious Redundancy
 Sally went to the store. At the store, she bought candy,
and then she left the store.
 Can be changed to:
 Sally went to the store, bought candy,
and left.
Subtle Redundancy
 Suzanne wrote a very unique story.
 Can be changed to:
 Suzanne wrote a unique story.
Rewrite this paragraph