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Mothers in the Workforce
Throughout Western history, women have been discouraged and criticized for joining the
workforce. There are a few common reasons why people may express disapproval or skepticism
toward working mothers. These reasons typically stem from traditional gender roles and
expectations, and often personal beliefs and experiences. This issue has become increasingly
prominent in the 21st century as mothers today make up a growing percentage of the workforce.
Historically, western societies have used traditional gender roles to dictate what women
could or could not do. According to gender theorists of the 19th century, men were independent
and belonged in the public sphere, while women were dependent on men and belonged in the
private sphere. This ideology reduces women to wives, mothers, and caregivers destined to spend
their lives childrearing and doing domestic tasks. Society expects women to prioritize their
families above all else, especially their careers. In fact, women are often prevented from having
careers since it means stepping into the public sphere and spending less time caring for their
children. When women choose to join the workforce and enter the public sphere, they challenge
traditional gender norms. This leads to disapproval and criticism from the many individuals who
support and adhere to these roles. Working mothers also regularly face workplace discrimination,
unequal pay, and inadequate maternity leave, and are generally viewed as less competent and bad
mothers.
A widely recognized motive to discourage women from joining the workforce is job
competition. Many people believe that when mothers enter the workforce, they take away job
openings from more “deserving” individuals such as men and unmarried women. Though this
perspective is often entangled with concerns regarding unemployment rates, job availability, and
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economic stability, it boils down to people not wanting married women to have agency or
independence from their husbands.
Another common but persuasive argument against working mothers is how their careers
would impact their children. It is often argued that a mother's absence from the home due to her
work may have negative repercussions on the well-being of her children. Many people have
raised concerns that working mothers may not be able to dedicate an adequate amount of time
and attention to their children, potentially damaging their emotional development and
diminishing the mother-child connection. While a valid argument, the same concerns and
criticisms are not considered when discussing working fathers. A working father would miss an
equally large amount of quality time with his children while at work, however, he is praised for
being a hard worker and providing for his family, while mothers are criticized.
As a child of a working mother, I have conflicting feelings on this topic. On one hand, I
genuinely understand and have experienced some of the drawbacks of having two full-time
working parents. Through almost the entirety of my childhood, I spent 5 days a week between
both of my retired grandparents' houses. I love my grandparents deeply, however, I completely
despised living at their houses because I wanted to spend more time with my parents. As a result,
the very little time I was home was spent throwing tantrums and pleading to stay home. I was
always homesick and I missed my parents. More than anything though, I craved the attention of
my mother. For the 1-2 days a week I saw her, she was completely loving and everything I
needed. However, she took her love with her when she inevitably left for work. The dopamine
rush of my mother’s presence and the repeated withdrawal of her affection was terribly upsetting,
though at the time I didn’t understand why.
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Eventually, I grew extremely resentful of her for “abandoning” me. Interestingly though,
I didn’t bear the same negative feelings toward my father. In fact, I seemed to like him more.
Maybe it’s because I viewed him as a “successful” parent as the breadwinner of the family. In
contrast, my mother didn’t need to work (my father made enough money to live comfortably
without her extra income) and was pursuing a career for personal fulfillment. Perhaps I perceived
her career aspirations as purely selfish, especially since I persistently begged her to let me stay
home with her. This is my hypothesis so far, though I’m sure other aspects of our family dynamic
would require examination to fully understand this specific situation.
However, in hindsight, I understand the benefits of having a working mother. It must
have taken an incredible amount of strength to put herself back out into the workforce after
having children. She insisted on setting a positive example, showing me that motherhood doesn't
have to consume my identity and that I can have a life outside of the private sphere. I’m glad that
she chose to have a career and I hope I can also achieve a positive balance between private and
public life. In recent years, I have been pleased to see that societal attitudes and norms are more
inclusive and supportive of working mothers, especially since the pandemic pushed many
mothers to pursue a career for the additional income.
While many people may still disapprove of working mothers, it is crucial to recognize
that this perspective is not universally shared. The degree of approval or disapproval varies
between cultures and individuals, and many groups genuinely support and encourage mothers'
participation in the workforce. Ultimately, it is crucial to respect individuals' choices and
understand that a mother’s decision to work should be based on her personal circumstances,
needs, and aspirations.