The act of watching African Apocalypse created a powerful emotional response in me. Before
viewing the film, I expected it would create both emotional responses, and advance my
understanding of colonial effects on past and modern times. My observation revealed an
ongoing suffering of people, alongside their persistent fear, related to inadequate healing of
wounds inflicted through colonialism. The trauma continues to exist in the villages featured in
the film, because there was no justice for the victims. The purpose of this production becomes
apparent , since it strives to show events that have disappeared into amnesia or willful historical
revision.
Through the eye-witness accounts and direct scenes in the film, I finally understood the cruel
history of exploitation, which had taken place in Niger and other parts of Africa. This important
moment of history represented genuine anguish and genuine devastation. My experience of
watching the documentary, created within me an unpredictable sequence of emotions. The
wounds that I experienced from these past events, should I bear them regardless of my
personal absence during these times? Should I experience these emotions since I did not live
through those situations? The privilege of being born in another era and different condition of life
mixed with distress from knowing how my people suffered during that time. I revealed ignorance
about the depth of these atrocities, because I failed to grasp their full extent until that moment.
The emotions I felt, became difficult to understand, because this type of hurt exceeded my
ability to express it fully. The African individuals who were my fellow brothers and sisters did not
deserve this terrible treatment.
My role throughout the film involved both observing and listening to its contents. Absorbing
this painful truth was my role during the movie, because I aimed to listen rather than engage.
This was not an easy process. My understanding of colonialism existed within textbook
education, because I had never heard from the actual individuals who experienced its
outcomes. Through African Apocalypse history became personal while also creating distress,
yet requiring full attention.
My role throughout the film, involved both observing and listening to its contents. Absorbing
this painful truth was my role during the movie, because I aimed to listen rather than engage.
This was not an easy process. My understanding of colonialism existed within textbook
education, because I had never heard from the actual individuals who experienced its
outcomes. Through African Apocalypse history became personal, while also creating distress
yet requiring full attention.
Through watching this film I began to analyze my effectiveness in learning and dealing with
historical content. I struggled to understand what I should do with the obtained information. I felt
helpless. At first, I had no clue what I could do to help or whether my help would be useful. My
understanding of history, became insufficient following this film presentation, while a strong
sense of responsibility emerged for the first time. Before this experience, I was not fully
involved, yet I recognize now that I must eliminate my diversions while understanding
challenging truths.
During the experience I discovered a surprising truth about myself, because expressing
emotions brings me difficulty. The discovery proved essential, though it brought discomfort to
me. The feelings I should have experienced during African Apocalypse stayed suppressed. A
strong feeling wanted to surface from within me, yet something stopped me from experiencing it
genuinely. Throughout my life, I believed Africans displayed great strength, yet I understand
today that emotional suppression does not characterize this strength. Using pain to create
change, becomes a type of strength which involves recognizing distress and confronting it
directly.
I need to approach studying history through different methods as I move ahead. Taking a
proactive approach, I will find a way to learn about both my country's historical background and
my continental hardship. History demands an active role from me, so I must leave behind
passive observation. I should become an active learner who questions these difficult subjects,
while seeking additional information through conversations.
This valuable encounter caused me to review the principles I hold dear. I understand the
necessity of historical education together with analytical assessment, which creates
contemporary consequences from past events. The act of avoiding past knowledge amounts to
silencing the voices of people who have experienced mistreatment. Ignorance is something I
cannot allow myself to have in this situation. The motion picture shows Western colonialism,
beyond its historical boundaries making me view colonialism, as an active force which continues
to create enduring physical impacts.
Participating in this class again would mean active involvement to me. I decided to query my
learning material, while sharing my intuitions and worked on emotional processing instead of
emotional blocking. Experiencing uncomfortable feelings would be essential for me to learn
authentic knowledge that transformation brings. History exists beyond the past, because
present circumstances developed from those times, which requires individual acknowledgment
as a duty.
African Apocalypse taught me learning consists of more than memorizing information,
because it requires students to evolve and change as individuals. The experience revealed my
educational weaknesses, thus motivating me to face those areas for evaluation and
improvement. The start of this more comprehensive exploration into my heritage has opened a
pathway for continuous growth, through learning and the continuous exploration of both my
identity and my duty to continued development.