Dear Ruffa,
We learned a lot from our recent discussions. Before this meeting, our professor asked
us to watch the documentary The Boy Who Was Turned into a Girl. As we watched, we were
curious about how Bruce would grow up. However, as he was raised as Brenda, it became
evident that he did not develop in the way he was expected to. We felt sorry for him because his
right to decide for himself was taken away. At the same time, we also understood his parents'
perspective because they truly believed they were making the best decision for their child.
We also discussed gender identity as a becoming. Gender identity isn’t always fixed
from birth—it can be a process of self-discovery. We know some people who grew up identifying
as straight but later discovered they had romantic feelings for the same gender. We always find
it amusing and can’t help but ask, ‘How did that happen?’ Their response is always the same: ‘It
just happened.’ And we came to a conclusion that if you fell in love, you just fell in love.
Towards the end of our discussion, the topic of sexual and gender-based violence
(SGBV) came up. While it is widely acknowledged that women are victims of SGBV, men and
LGBTQ individuals can also experience such violence. However, unlike women, SGBV against
men and LGBTQ individuals is severely underreported and lacks specific data. Why? Because
society often invalidates their experiences. Men are told, “Ang laki laki mong tao hinayaan mong
ganyanin ka” while LGBTQ individuals hear, “Gusto mo rin naman yan.” These harmful beliefs
silence victims, making it even harder for them to seek help. How can they report when the
world refuses to listen?
If we truly want a world that is just and accepting, we must challenge the biases that
keep people from being heard. Change begins when we choose to listen, to understand, and to
stand for those whose voices have long been ignored.
From,
Ruffa