HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH TEXT BY JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL MUSIC & LYRICS BY STEPHEN TRASK SHOW PERUSAL 03/11/21 HEDWIG AND THE ANGY INCH Text Copyright © 2003, John Cameron Mitchell Music and Lyrics Copyright © 2003, Stephen Trask All Rights Reserved CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of HEDWIG AND THE ANGY INCH is subject to payment of a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention, the Berne Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. 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Follow the rules, and when in doubt, ask us. toll-free phone: 1-866-NEW-PLAY email: info@broadwaylicensing.com website: www.broadwaylicensing.com Hedwig and The Angry Inch Vocal Ranges nœ HEDWIG/TOMMY V nœ YITZHAK & bœ nœ HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Musical Numbers, Characters #1 Tear Me Down (Hedwig, Others)..........................1 #2 The Origin of Love (Hedwig, Yitzhak, Others)...........9 #3 Sugar Daddy (Hedwig, Others)..........................16 #4 The Angry Inch (Hedwig, Yitzhak, Others)..............20 #5 Wig In A Box (Hedwig, Yitzhak, Others)................23 #6 Wicked Little Town (Hedwig, Yitzhak)..................30 #7 The Long Grift (Hedwig, Yitzhak, Others)..............36 #8 Hedwig’s Lament (Hedwig)..............................38 #9 Exquisite Corpse (Hedwig, Yitzhak, SKSZP).............38 #10 Wicked Little Town - Reprise (Hedwig/Tommy, Yitzhak, Band, Others)..............................40 #11 Midnight Road (Hedwig/Tommy, Others).................41 AUTHORS’ NOTE This script is, at best, a record of a single evening of a single production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. We deliberately developed it over a number of years in non-theatre venues — rock clubs, drag bars, birthday parties — in order to keep it free-flowing, improvisational, alive. We encourage other productions to keep this sense of freedom by ad-libbing when appropriate within the confines of the world of the piece. (Some Hedwigs found it fun to go off on more extended improvs; we found the best times for this was directly after the songs “Sugar Daddy” and “Wig in a Box” when the plot machine is idling.) This script reflects that we were performing at the Hotel Riverview where survivors of the Titanic actually stayed. Tommy Gnosis was therefore “performing” nearby at Giants Stadium. We feel that every production should be site-specific so that the character of Hedwig is actually performing in and commenting on the space the production is occupying. If this is impossible, you might want to try something like what we did in our workshop production. We set it in the “historic” Penn Station TGI-Friday (“where the history is written on the walls!”) next door to Madison Square Garden. You could set a restaurant near a famous local music venue. In any case, feel free to change the text to accommodate the environment. Have fun! HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH was originally presented in New York City by David Binder in association with the Westbeth Theatre Center (Arnold Engleman, Producing Director) on February 27, 1997. It was presented Off-Broadway by Samjack, Ltd., Susann Brinkley and James B. Freydberg at the Jane Street Theatre on February 14, 1998. It was directed by Peter Askin; the set design was by James Youmans; the lighting design was by Kevin Adams; the sound design was by Werner Fritsching; the costume design was by Fabio Toblini; the wig and makeup designs were by Mike Potter; and the stage manager was Joe Pitt. The cast was as follows: HEDWIG/TOMMY GNOSIS …...............………………………………John Cameron Mitchell YITZHAK ……........................................................…………………………………..Miriam Shor THE ANGRY INCH ……..................................................Cheater comprised of Stephen Trask, Chris Weilding, Dave McKinley, Scott Bilbrey CHARACTERS HEDWIG/TOMMY GNOSIS YITZHAK THE ANGRY INCH HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Pe ru sa l (A Manhattan riverside fleabag hotel ballroom with a stage at one end. Upstage is an emergency exit door. Projected on the back wall of the stage is a rock-and-roll band logo: Hedwig and The Angry Inch. Already on stage is THE ANGRY INCH, a tacky rock band dressed flashily in ’80s high style — lots of shoulderpads and stone-washed denim. YITZHAK, a sullen male roadie, trudges to the center stage mike.) YITZHAK (In an Eastern European accent.) Ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not … Hedwig! O D U Li c #1 TEAR ME DOWN C TI en s in g N (“America the Beautiful” begins on majestic solo guitar and HEDWIG enters from the house. She is wrapped in a full length stone-washed denim cape, its design inspired by the American flag. Black light floods the stage as she takes it. She whips open the cape to reveal a lining painted to look like a wall. Clearly visible are the spray-painted words “YANKEE GO HOME WITH ME.”) O dw ay HEDWIG Don’t you know me? I’m the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down! PR (Illustrated by a projected montage of images of the Berlin Wall.) Br FO R oa I WAS BORN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A TOWN RIPPED IN TWO I MADE IT OVER THE GREAT DIVIDE NOW I’M COMING FOR YOU OTHERS ENEMIES AND T HEDWIG ENEMIES AND ADVERSARIES N O HEDWIG THEY TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN YOU WANT ME, BABY, I DARE YOU TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN OOH OOH OOH OOH I ROSE FROM OFF OF THE DOCTOR’S SLAB 1 l HEDWIG (CONT’D) LIKE LAZARUS FROM THE PIT NOW EVERYONE WANTS TO TAKE A STAB AND DECORATE ME WITH BLOOD GRAFFITI AND SPIT OTHERS ENEMIES AND Pe ru sa HEDWIG ENEMIES AND ADVERSARIES O in g OOH OOH OOH OOH N HEDWIG THEY TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN YOU WANT ME, BABY, I DARE YOU TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN N O C U D O PR T Br FO R oa dw ay Li c (Spoken.) On August 13, 1961, a wall was erected down the middle of the city of Berlin. The world was divided by a cold war and the Berlin wall was the most hated symbol of that divide Reviled. Graffitied. Spit upon. We thought the wall would stand forever, and now that it’s gone, we don’t know who we are anymore. Ladies and Gentleman, Hedwig is like that wall, standing before you in the divide between East and West, Slavery and Freedom, Man and Woman, Top and Bottom. And you can try and tear her down, but before you do, remember one thing. Listen! TI en s YITZHAK HEDWIG THERE AIN’T MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BRIDGE AND A WALL WITHOUT ME RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, BABE 2 HEDWIG (CONT’D) YOU WOULD BE NOTHING AT ALL OTHERS ENEMIES AND l HEDWIG ENEMIES AND ADVERSARIES Pe ru sa HEDWIG THEY TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN YOU WANT ME, BABY, I DARE YOU TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN HEDWIG ENEMIES AND ADVERSARIES OTHERS ENEMIES AND O C U Li c OOH OOH OOH OOH TI en s in g N HEDWIG THEY TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN YOU WANT ME, BABY, I DARE YOU TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN dw ay O D (YITZHAK upstages HEDWIG with vocal pyrotechnics. HEDWIG pulls the cable out of YITZHAK’s mic and finishes the song triumphantly.) PR … ME DOWN! R (Referring to the band.) FO oa Thank you! Thank you, you’re so sweet. I do love a warm hand on my entrance. My name is Hedwig. (Stepping on YITZHAK’s applause.) T Br Please welcome The Angry Inch! And my man Friday through Thursday, Yitzhak! N O There’s really no need. There’s none. I’m thrilled you could join me for this special opening night performance here at the beautiful Hotel Riverview. (An ad slogan:) “Hotel Riverview: you can really view the river!” This grand ballroom has a celebrated history as a place of sanctuary — of succor, if you will — having once sheltered the surviving crew of the Titanic. Perhaps they can hear me now. 3 Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) (Addressing the ghosts.) You brave unfortunate souls — blasted by man’s hubris and washed up on cruel shores — I, who am simply blasted and washed up, salute you! Welcome to the fabulous first night of my unlimited New York run. And when it comes to huge openings, a lot of people think of me. Many more of you, though, have only recently become aware of me. (She refers to a projection: a New York Post newspaper cover dominated by a police mugshot of a bandaged young man with a silver cross painted on his forehead. The man bears a remarkable likeness to Hedwig. The headline reads: “TOMMY TO TOTS: SORRY!”) O in g N It took a tragedy to make you finally pay attention. But now you’re interested. Intrigued even. C TI en s (Projection zooms to a tiny box at the bottom of the page featuring a smiling mugshot of a bandaged Hedwig with the caption, “Who is Mystery Woman?” In a broad American accent:) U Li c “Who is this Hedwig and why have we never heard about her before, Bob?” D (Back to her normal accent.) O PR (Projection: a closeup of Tommy’s mugshot.) R oa dw ay Well, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself for years. How did some slip of a girlyboy from communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you? That’s what I want to talk about tonight. I’m not here to talk about calamity or scandal. I’m not here to talk about my relationship with a certain well-known rock icon, Tommy Gnosis … Br FO … even though, at this very moment, he’s probably talking about me. By some freak coincidence, he’s previewing his “Tour of Atonement” tonight at Giants Stadium, right across the river. O T (She pushes open the upstage emergency exit door. Blinding light pours in. We hear arena-sized cheers … ) N TOMMY (Off.) … Hello New York! Listen … listen … there’s someone I want to thank for the way they’ve handled this tragedy … with incredible loyalty in the face of a lot of lies. And that someone is … 4 (HEDWIG draws herself up.) TOMMY (CONT’D) … you! My fans! … and together, no one’s gonna tear us down! (Sings:) Pe ru sa l (Her face falls. The crowd cheers. A cheesy intro to “Tear Me Down” begins.) ENEMIES AND ADVERSARIES, THEY TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN — O in g N (HEDWIG slams the door shut.) TI C U D O dw ay Li c en s HEDWIG I wrote every song on that album! And by the way, the tabloids got it right. He was driving, he was on blow, he was getting blown by yours truly, and he did hit the schoolbus full of deaf children, one survived — now blind. I taught him everything he knows — and has apparently forgotten — about rock and roll and he barely mentions my name on that giant sucking sound Larry King calls a show, which I’m sure you all saw because if you hadn’t, I’d be singing to the desk clerk and, if I was lucky, my agent, Phyllis Stein — did you make it this time, Phyllis? I’m sorry. I’m wide open tonight. PR (Overcome, she pauses. She pulls herself together.) R oa (Projection: closeup of Hedwig’s mugshot.) FO (Projections: childlike drawings illuminate the following.) T Br You see, ladies and gentleman, the road is my home. My home, the road. And when I think of all the people I have come upon in my travels, I have to think about the people who have come upon me. N O The geography of human contact, the triangulation of a pair of eyes on my face, the latitude and longitude of a hand on my body. These are the only clues I have to my place in the world. To who I am. “Who is Mystery Woman!?” (Laughs.) I laugh, because I will cry if I don’t. I recently found my first diary, age two through six 5 (She refers to the projected drawings.) l HEDWIG (CONT’D) — fully illustrated — and I realized that so many people have touched me on my way to this stage tonight. How can I say who touched me the most? My father…? Pe ru sa (Projection: a crude drawing of a dad and little boy holding hands.) The American G.I.? … who left when I was barely old enough to speak my first words: “Daddy, when I grow up, I’ll kill you”? Could it have been my East German mother? (Projection: a mom and little boy not holding hands.) O in g N No, when she touched me it was usually by accident. Reaching for the beans at the table or something. One day, we were watching Jesus Christ Superstar on American Forces Television. C I turned to Mother: TI en s (Projection: a crude drawing of the face of Jesus on a TV screen.) PR (AS MOM:) oa FO Br “But He died for our sins.” R “Don’t you ever mention that name to me again!” (AS CHILD:) (AS MOM:) T “So did Hitler.” N O (AS CHILD:) “What?” U O dw ay “Jesus said the darndest things.” She slapped me. D Li c (HEDWIG AS CHILD:) (AS MOM:) “Absolute power corrupts.” 6 HEDWIG (CONT’D) (AS CHILD:) “Absolutely!” l (AS MOM:) Pe ru sa “Better to be powerless, my son.” She got her wish when the Wall went up. We happened to be living on the East side and mother was given a job teaching sculpture to limbless children. Socialism, God rest its soul! (She repairs to a prop table that is on the side of the stage.) TI O in g en s (Rests her head on the table.) N Most of my time was spent listening to American Forces Radio. Our apartment was so small that mother made me play it in the oven. Late at night, I would rest my head on the top rack … C U D O dw ay Li c … and listen to the American masters … Toni Tenille … Debby Boone … Anne Murray — who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the cryptohomo rockers: Lou Reed … Iggy Pop … David Bowie — who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada. These artists left as deep an impression on me as that oven rack did on my face. To be a young American in muskrat love, soft as an easy chair, not even the chair — I am, I said! Have I never been mellow? PR (Singing.) R (YITZHAK sings backup vocals from Lou Reed’s “Walk On the Wild Side.”*) FO oa HAVE I NEVER TRIED? AND THE COLORED GIRLS SING … O I sang along … HEDWIG T Br DOO DOO DOO … YITZHAK N … DOO DOO DOO … YITZHAK AND HEDWIG HEDWIG … but never with the melody. How could I do it better than Toni or Lou? 7 YITZHAK … DOO DOO DOO … Once I couldn’t resist: Pe ru sa (Singing from Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life.”*) l HEDWIG *See Special Note on Songs and Recordings on copyright page. “IT CAN’T BE WRONG, IF IT FEELS SO RIGH — !” Mother threw a tomato at my head. … DOO DOO DOO … O in g N YITZHAK C TI en s HEDWIG But I was really quite content to sing gentle backup harmonies in my oven … O dw ay D Li c HEDWIG … while mother sculpted in the shower. U YITZHAK … DOO DOO DOO … PR YITZHAK … DOO DOO DOO R oa (YITZHAK stops singing.) T Br FO HEDWIG When the hour grew late and it was time for bed, she would shout from the bathroom, “Well, that’s me!” And I would reply from the kitchen, “Well, I guess that’s me too.” We would wash our feet and brush our teeth and lay down on the narrow pallet that we had shared since Daddy left … O (Projection: a drawing of two figures lying back to back.) N … like two pieces of a puzzle that don’t quite fit but are jammed together and left on a table by … (Railing at the heavens.) 8 HEDWIG (CONT’D) …some dangerous shut-in with too much time on his hands! (The gentle guitar intro of The Origin of Love begins.) Pe ru sa l I’m sorry, I’m completely dilated right now. I’d like to share with you a bedtime story that mother once whispered to me in the dark, and later retracted. Whatever allowed her to reveal such a story to such a little boy, I’ll never know. But I remember it like it happened yesterday. #2 THE ORIGIN OF LOVE R HEDWIG/OTHERS Br FO THE ORIGIN OF LOVE T THE ORIGIN OF LOVE HEDWIG HEDWIG/OTHERS N O THE ORIGIN OF LOVE O TI C D O PR dw ay oa U Li c en s in g WHEN THE EARTH WAS STILL FLAT AND CLOUDS MADE OF FIRE AND MOUNTAINS STRETCHED UP TO THE SKY SOMETIMES HIGHER FOLKS ROAMED THE EARTH LIKE BIG ROLLING KEGS THEY HAD TWO SETS OF ARMS THEY HAD TWO SETS OF LEGS THEY HAD TWO FACES PEERING OUT OF ONE GIANT HEAD SO THEY COULD WATCH ALL AROUND THEM AS THEY TALKED; WHILE THEY READ AND THEY NEVER KNEW NOTHING OF LOVE IT WAS BEFORE MM-HMM THE ORIGIN OF LOVE N (Projections: drawings illustrate the story.) HEDWIG AND THERE WERE THREE SEXES THEN ONE THAT LOOKED LIKE TWO MEN GLUED UP BACK TO BACK CALLED THE CHILDREN OF THE SUN AND SIMILAR IN SHAPE AND GIRTH 9 HEDWIG (CONT’D) WERE THE CHILDREN OF THE EARTH THEY LOOKED LIKE HEDWIG/OTHERS Pe ru sa l TWO GIRLS ROLLED UP IN ONE TI C U D O PR dw ay Li c en s NOW THE GODS GREW QUITE SCARED OF OUR STRENGTH AND DEFIANCE AND THOR SAID “I’M GONNA KILL THEM ALL WITH MY HAMMER LIKE I KILLED THE GIANTS” AND ZEUS SAID, “NO YOU BETTER LET ME USE MY LIGHTNING, LIKE SCISSORS LIKE I O in g THE ORIGIN OF LOVE N HEDWIG AND THE CHILDREN OF THE MOON LOOKED LIKE A FORK SHOVED ON A SPOON THEY WERE PART SUN, PART EARTH PART DAUGHTER, PART SON HEDWIG R oa HEDWIG/OTHERS CUT THE LEGS OFF THE WHALES Br FO DINOSAURS INTO LIZARDS.” AND THEN HE GRABBED UP SOME BOLTS AND HE LET OUT A LAUGH N O T HEDWIG/OTHERS SAID, “I’LL SPLIT THEM RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE GONNA CUT THEM RIGHT UP IN HALF” AND THEN STORM CLOUDS GATHERED ABOVE INTO GREAT BALLS OF FIRE HEDWIG HEDWIG/OTHERS AND THEN FIRE SHOT DOWN 10 l D O PR dw ay HEDWIG AND WE’LL BE HOPPING AROUND ON ONE FOOT AND LOOKING THROUGH ONE EYE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WE HAD JUST SPLIT IN TWO YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME I WAS LOOKING AT YOU YOU HAD A WAY SO FAMILIAR BUT I COULD NOT RECOGNIZE FO R oa O U Li c AND IF WE DON’T BEHAVE THEY’LL CUT US DOWN AGAIN Br TI C en s in g N Pe ru sa HEDWIG/OTHERS (CONT’D) FROM THE SKY IN BOLTS LIKE SHINING BLADES OF A KNIFE AND IT RIPPED RIGHT THROUGH THE FLESH OF THE CHILDREN OF THE SUN AND THE MOON AND THE EARTH AND SOME INDIAN GOD SEWED THE WOUND UP INTO A HOLE PULLED IT ROUND TO OUR BELLY TO REMIND US OF THE PRICE WE PAY AND OSIRIS AND THE GODS OF THE NILE GATHERED UP A BIG STORM TO BLOW A HURRICANE TO SCATTER US AWAY IN A FLOOD OF WIND AND RAIN AND A SEA OF TIDAL WAVES TO WASH US ALL AWAY N O T ’CAUSE YOU HAD BLOOD ON YOUR FACE; I HAD BLOOD IN MY EYES BUT I COULD SWEAR BY YOUR EXPRESSION THAT THE PAIN DOWN IN YOUR SOUL WAS THE SAME AS THE ONE DOWN IN MINE OH THAT’S THE PAIN CUTS A STRAIGHT LINE DOWN THROUGH THE HEART; WE CALLED IT LOVE WE WRAPPED OUR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER TRYING TO SHOVE OURSELVES BACK TOGETHER 11 HEDWIG (CONT’D) WE WERE MAKING LOVE l MAKING LOVE HEDWIG/MALE HARMONY O in g N Pe ru sa HEDWIG IT WAS A COLD DARK EVENING SUCH A LONG TIME AGO WHEN BY THE MIGHTY HAND OF JOVE IT WAS A SAD STORY HOW WE BECAME LONELY TWO-LEGGED CREATURES THE STORY OF THE ORIGIN OF LOVE O D HEDWIG/YITZHAK PR dw ay THE ORIGIN OF LOVE THE ORIGIN OF LOVE AHH THE ORIGIN OF LOVE U Li c OH YEA C HEDWIG TI en s HEDWIG/YITZHAK THAT’S THE ORIGIN OF LOVE R oa HEDWIG After mother finished, she began to snore. But I had to go somewhere I could think. I crept into the kitchen and put my head in the oven. N O T Br FO It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? Is it Daddy? He went away. Or Mother? I was suddenly afraid to go back to bed. What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don’t? Did he get the looks, the luck, the love? Were we really separated forcibly or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? And what about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Is that what Daddy was trying to…? Or can two people actually become one again? And if we’re driving on the Autobahn when it happens, can we still use the diamond lane? Practical questions of wholeness. Completion. Think of it. I thought of it. I thought of the power. (YITZHAK holds up a hand mirror for her.) 12 HEDWIG (CONT’D) The gods were terrified! (HEDWIG looks in the mirror and recoils.) (Points into the house.) Look, Yitzhak … (YITZHAK looks.) en s If you behave, I might let you shave my back. That will be all. TI (YITZHAK is deflated.) O in g … Immigration! N Pe ru sa l Magnifying side. Very funny, Yitzhak. Very passive-aggressive. C U Li c (YITZHAK slopes off to the side. Hedwig admires herself in the mirror.) O dw ay (Refers to large curls.) D How’s my hair? Is there trouble in the west wing? PR R (Unseen by Hedwig, YITZHAK has removed a flowing wig extension from a shelf and is lovingly combing it. HEDWIG smooths her denim dress.) FO oa These are actually my lungs. My Aquanet lungs. They kick in on the high notes. Let’s be serious. Just the other day I was telling Yitzhak how nervous I was about tonight … Br Would I still be able to fit into that old Sergio Valente? There was no time to diet, so I had my heart removed. Suddenly, I was a perfect size six! O T (She suddenly hears YITZHAK singing softly to himself. She turns and catches him wearing the extension.) N WAS MACHST DU DA VERDAMMT NOCH MAL? (A red-faced YITZHAK quickly returns the wig to its shelf.) 13 HEDWIG (CONT’D) I’m sorry you had to see that, ladies and gentlemen. When I met him he said he wanted to be a model. A foot model, maybe. Enough about him, let’s get back to the sho — l (Surreptitiously into a mic.) YITZHAK Pe ru sa Bitch. HEDWIG Yes? Did someone call my name? I thought I heard my — Bitch. O TI en s in g (HEDWIG looks back at Yitzhak. YITZHAK, as if searching for the source of the voice, opens the emergency door. The Tommy Gnosis concert pours in again.) N YITZHAK C U Li c TOMMY (Off.) … I realized there was only one person who had ever really been there for me in my life. And that person was me. The accident was a cry for help. I was yelling “Help!” to me … dw ay O D (HEDWIG slams the door.) PR R FO Br oa HEDWIG WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? Without me he never would’ve swerved into that oncoming short bus and got all that attention! Let me just take a second here, against the advice of my lawyers. I had just wrapped up a late-night engagement in the Meat-Packing District. We’re talking about the newly renovated, tony Meat-Packing District. You’ve heard of SoHo? NoHo? This is MePa. I was standing there on Fourteenth Street, the very boulevard of MePa, when a limo pulled up. I stepped into it, naturally mistaking it for my own. (YITZHAK snorts, she glares at him.) T I can smell your thoughts from here. Take a thought shower. N O (Returning to audience.) 14 Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) In the limo sat Tommy Gnosis. We were both astonished. It had been years. So we dropped the driver off and drove up and down the island, doing drugs and catching up. We talked about the disappointing sales of his second album — the one he wrote without me. He spoke of his loneliness. I reminded him of happier days. I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut and, well, you know the rest. So you can imagine, when the story broke, Tommy’s people offered me a small fortune to keep all this to myself. As if I’d accept their filthy lucre. As if selling the story of someone else’s pain was my only means of support. As if I hadn’t already launched my new fragrance: “Atrocity.” By Hedwig. (Projection of Atrocity logo.) O TI en s in g N It’s a fragrance for a man or a woman. Or a freak. I digress. One day in the late mideighties … I was in my early late twenties. I had just been dismissed from university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled: “You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.” At twenty-six, my academic career was over, I had never kissed a boy and I was still sleeping with Mom. The search for my other half on this side of the Wall had proved futile. Might he be found on the other? C (Projection: figures separated by wall.) (AS LUTHER:) U D O PR dw ay Li c But how to get over? People died trying. Such were the thoughts flooding my tiny head on the day that I was sunning myself in an old bomb crater I had discovered near the Wall. I am naked, face down, on a piece of broken church, inhaling a fragrant westerly breeze. The new McDonald’s has just opened on the other side. My God, I deserve a break today! All I ever get is the unhappy meal. The sun is hot, but I feel a sudden chill. I look over my shoulder. A head-shaped shadow is resting on the pillow of my ass. R FO Br oa “Girl, I sure don’t mean to annoy you. My name is Sargeant Luther Robinson.” I turn my body to face him. (AS HANSEL:) O T “My name is Hansel.” Luther is silent for a moment as he stares at my little bishop in a turtleneck. N (AS LUTHER:) “Hansel. Well. You must like candy.” (AS HANSEL:) 15 HEDWIG (CONT’D) “I like Gummi Baerchen.” (Pronounced GOOmie BAIR-shen.) Pe ru sa l Out of his pocket comes a strange, American-looking plastic packet that says “Gummy Bears” on it. Gummy Bears? (Projection of bear.) TI O in g en s (AS LUTHER:) N I select a single clear bear. It is the biggest one I’ve ever seen. The taste is completely different from a Gummi (GOOmie.) Bear, yet it is somehow familiar. It is much sweeter than a Gummi Bear and softer, too. Its little gummy body stretches on the rack of my molars. Wow, I feel so optimistic. He pours me a handful, his eyes heavy with an unfamiliar desire. Could it be a desire to please? Me? I suddenly recognize the flavor in my mouth. It’s the taste of power. Not bad. C U D O PR dw ay Li c “Damn, Hansel, I can’t believe you’re not a girl, you’re so fine. Why don’t you take the whole bag?” He searches my face for news of his fate. His expression is echoed in scores of tiny faces pressing against clear plastic. Panting faces of every imaginable color, creed and non-Aryan origin, fogging up the bag like the windows of a Polish bathhouse. It’s only a shower. Absolute power! I push Luther away and stumble naked through the ruins, back towards blander, less complicated confections, leaving in my wake a trail of rainbow carnage. #3 SUGAR DADDY R FO (HEDWIG strikes a triumphant pose to a few bars of “Deutschland Ueber Alles” which segue into:) O T Br oa HEDWIG (CONT’D) Next day, Hansel follows the trail back … and lying on my slab are three Milky Ways, a roll of Necco Wafers, some Pop Rocks, and a Giant-Size Sugar Daddy named Luther. N I’VE GOT A SWEET TOOTH FOR LICORICE AND JELLY ROLL HEY SUGAR DADDY HANSEL NEEDS SOME SUGAR IN HIS BOWL I’LL LAY OUT FINE CHINA ON THE LINEN AND POLISH UP THE CHROME 16 HEDWIG/OTHERS IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR FOR ME SUGAR DADDY, BRING IT HOME HEDWIG Pe ru sa l BLACKSTRAP MOLASSES YOU’RE MY ORANGE BLOSSOM HONEY BEAR BRING ME VERSACE BLUE JEANS AND BLACK DESIGNER UNDERWEAR LET’S DRESS UP LIKE THE DISCO-DANCING JET SET IN MILAN AND ROME TI C U O D Li c HEDWIG OF CONTROL LIKE THE RUSH OF ROCK AND ROLL IS THE SWEETEST TASTE I’VE KNOWN OH YEA IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR, BRING IT HOME O in g en s OH THE THRILL dw ay N HEDWIG/OTHERS IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR FOR ME SUGAR DADDY, BRING IT HOME PR HEDWIG/MEN WHEN HONEY BEES GO SHOPPING IT’S SOMETHING TO BE SEEN THEY SWARM TO WILD FLOWERS FO R oa HEDWIG/MEN/HARMONY AND GET NECTAR FOR THE QUEEN T Br HEDWIG/MEN AND EVERY GIFT YOU BRING ME GETS ME DRIPPING LIKE A HONEYCOMB N O HEDWIG/MEN/HARMONY IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR FOR ME SUGAR DADDY, BRING IT HOME OH THE THRILL HEDWIG OF CONTROL LIKE A BLITZKRIEG ON THE ROLL 17 l HEDWIG (CONT’D) IS THE SWEETEST TASTE I’VE KNOWN IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR BRING IT HOME! OH YEAH COME ON, SUGAR DADDY BRING IT HOME! Pe ru sa HEDWIG/OTHERS WHISKEY AND FRENCH CIGARETTES A MOTORBIKE WITH HIGH-SPEED JETS A WATERPIK, A CUISINART AND A TI en s HEDWIG/OTHERS OH I WANT ALL THE LUXURIES OF THE MODERN AGE EVERY ITEM ON EVERY PAGE C U D PR dw ay Oh, Luther darling, heaven knows I’ve never put on women’s clothes Except for once My mother’s camisole HEDWIG Br FO R oa YITZHAK O Li c HEDWIG IN THE LILLIAN VERNON CATALOGUE (AS LUTHER:) Oh baby, something’s crossed my mind And I was thinking you’d look so fine In a velvet dress With heels and an ermine stole N O T HEDWIG SO YOU THINK ONLY A WOMAN CAN TRULY LOVE A MAN THEN YOU BUY ME THE DRESS I’LL BE MORE WOMAN THAN A MAN LIKE YOU CAN STAND I’LL BE YOUR VENUS ON A CHOCOLATE CLAM SHELL RISING ON A SEA OF MARSHMALLOW FOAM 18 O in g HYPO-ALLERGENIC DOG N HEDWIG HEDWIG/OTHERS IF YOU GOT SOME SUGAR FOR ME SUGAR DADDY, BRING IT HOME Pe ru sa l HEDWIG IT’S OUR TRADITION TO CONTROL LIKE ERICH HONECKER AND HELMUT KOHL FROM THE UKRAINE TO THE RHONE SWEET HOME UBER ALLES LORD, I’M COMING HEDWIG/OTHERS HOME Yea O in g N HEDWIG TI C en s HEDWIG/OTHERS COME ON, SUGAR DADDY, BRING ME HOME U Li c (She whips out an American flag for the big finish.) I invited him home for dinner … D PR (She fans herself in the heat.) O dw ay It wasn’t a traditional wedding. For example, when Luther popped the question, I was on my knees. R oa (She opens the emergency door for air. The concert barges in again.) FO (She closes the door quickly.) T Br TOMMY (Off.) … ME, THE REAL ME, THE ME I USED TO BE … N O HEDWIG After dessert, Luther produces a ring, an application for American citizenship, and a wig. (AS HANSEL:) 19 l HEDWIG (CONT’D) “He loves me, mother. He wants to marry me and get me the hell out of here.” I put the wig on my head. It’s a hideous beige shag. “Mother, is this so crazy, it just might work?” Mother’s face might have been a photograph it was so still. After what seemed like a lifetime … probably hers … she reaches out her hand to straighten the wig. Pe ru sa (AS MOM:) “Get me my passport and my camera, Hansel. I know a certain party.” Yes, the party she’d be having after I left. It’s a simple cut and paste job. We change the photo and you can use my name, Hedwig Schmidt.” (AS LUTHER:) TI U Li c C “Why, they’ll see right away that (AS LUTHER:) O in g en s (AS HANSEL:) N “Not so simple, ladies. Baby, you know I love you. I’m always thinking of you. But I got to marry you here. In East Berlin. And that means a full physical examination.” D O dw ay “Baby. To walk away, you gotta leave something behind. Am I right, Mrs. Schmidt?” PR (AS MOM:) (Points a “camera” at Hansel.) R oa “I’ve always thought so, Luther. Hansel, to be free, one must give up a little part of oneself. And I know just the doctor to take it. FO (A camera flash.) #4 THE ANGRY INCH O T Br Don’t move!” N HEDWIG MY SEX-CHANGE OPERATION GOT BOTCHED MY GUARDIAN ANGEL FELL ASLEEP ON THE WATCH NOW ALL I GOT IS A BARBIE DOLL CROTCH I GOT AN ANGRY INCH 20 Pe ru sa YITZHAK D U C TI O I GOT AN ANGRY INCH PR YITZHAK OOH FO R oa HEDWIG THE TRAIN IS COMING AND I’M TIED TO THE TRACK I TRY TO GET UP BUT I CAN’T GET NO SLACK I GOT A O dw ay Li c en s HEDWIG/OTHERS SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK N OOH OOH in g HEDWIG I’M FROM THE LAND WHERE YOU STILL HEAR THE CRIES I HAD TO GET OUT HAD TO SEVER ALL TIES I CHANGED MY NAME AND ASSUMED A DISGUISE I GOT AN ANGRY INCH l HEDWIG/OTHERS SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH Br HEDWIG/OTHERS ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH YITZHAK O T HEDWIG MY MOTHER MADE MY TITS OUT OF CLAY MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME THAT HE’D TAKE ME AWAY N TITS OF CLAY TITS OF CLAY HEDWIG THEY DRAGGED ME TO THE DOCTOR ONE DAY I’VE GOT AN ANGRY INCH 21 (YITZHAK screams.) Pe ru sa l HEDWIG/OTHERS SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH HEDWIG I GOT A in g N HEDWIG/OTHERS SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK I GOT A I GOT AN ANGRY INCH O TI C U Li c en s HEDWIG Long story short, when I woke up from the operation, I was bleeding down there. I was bleeding from the gash between my legs. My first day as a woman, and already it’s that time of the month. But two days later, the hole closed up, the wound healed, and I was left with a one-inch mound of flesh where my penis used to be. Where my vagina never was. A one inch mound of flesh with a scar running down it like a sideways grimace on an eyeless face. Just a little bulge. It was an angry inch. D PR YITZHAK OOH R oa HEDWIG/OTHERS THE TRAIN IS COMING AND I’M TIED TO THE TRACK I TRY TO GET UP BUT I CAN’T GET NO SLACK O dw ay HEDWIG SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK FO HEDWIG/OTHERS Br I GOT A ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH O T SIX INCHES FORWARD AND FIVE INCHES BACK N HEDWIG/OTHERS STAY UNDER COVER TILL THE NIGHT TURNS TO BLACK I GOT AN INCH AND I’M SET TO ATTACK HEDWIG/OTHERS I GOT A ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH 22 YITZHAK OOH YITZHAK November 9th, 1988. A tiny registrar’s office with a breathtaking view over the Wall. Herr Hansel Schmidt becomes Mrs. Hedwig Robinson. l (AS HANSEL:) Pe ru sa Tomorrow I am leaving on a jet plane and by the time I get to Phoenix, love will keep us together. (Singing from Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman”:*) *See Special Note on Songs and Recordings on copyright page. O in g N ’Cause I’m just an embryo, with a long, long way to go, but I know too much to go back and pretend! TI en s November 9th, 1989. Junction City, Kansas. C U D O PR dw ay Li c HEDWIG I sit in my mobile home … and on bootleg cable, watch the Wall come down … divorced, penniless, a woman. I cry, because I will laugh if I don’t. Suddenly, I miss Mother. I consider calling Berlin, but then remember with envy her recent escape to sunny Yugoslavia. Perhaps Luther would be home. No, he was never the one. Never the missing half. I catch myself in a mirror and for the first time see clearly the horror hunkering on my head. The same carpet remnant that Luther presented to me a year ago to disguise my receding … receding … I’m receding! I tear the wig from my scalp and hurl it across the room at a pile of unopened anniversary presents. #5 WIG IN A BOX FO R oa (Lights soften, “Wig in a Box” piano intro begins.) Br There it lies, feigning shock. My personal hair system. My personal hell. My Hedwig. N O T ON NIGHTS LIKE THIS WHEN THE WORLD’S A BIT AMISS AND THE LIGHTS GO DOWN ACROSS THE TRAILER PARK I GET DOWN I FEEL HAD FEEL ON THE VERGE OF GOING MAD THEN IT’S TIME TO PUNCH THE CLOCK I PUT ON SOME MAKE-UP AND TURN UP THE TAPE DECK 23 O TI OTHERS OOH OOH LA LA LA OOH OOH D O dw ay SOME GIRLS THEY HAVE NATURAL EASE THEY WEAR IT ANY WAY THEY PLEASE C Li c HEDWIG U en s in g A GIFT-WRAPPED WIG STILL IN THE BOX OF TOWERING VELVETEEN I PUT ON SOME MAKE-UP AND SOME LAVERN BAKER AND PULL THE WIG DOWN FROM THE SHELF SUDDENLY I’M MISS BEEHIVE 1963 UNTIL I WAKE UP AND TURN BACK TO MYSELF N Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) AND PUT THE WIG DOWN ON MY HEAD SUDDENLY I’M MISS MIDWEST MIDNIGHT CHECKOUT QUEEN UNTIL I HEAD HOME AND I PUT MYSELF TO BED I LOOK BACK ON WHERE I’M FROM LOOK AT THE WOMAN I’VE BECOME AND THE STRANGEST THINGS SEEM SUDDENLY ROUTINE I LOOK UP FROM MY VERMOUTH ON THE ROCKS PR HEDWIG WITH THEIR FRENCH FLIP CURLS AND PERFUMED MAGAZINES R oa HEDWIG/YITZHAK OOH LA LA LA OOH OOH LA LA LA T Br FO WEAR IT UP LET IT DOWN THIS IS THE BEST WIG THAT I’VE FOUND TO BE THE BEST YOU’VE EVER SEEN OTHERS OOH N O HEDWIG/YITZHAK I PUT ON SOME MAKE-UP (OOH) AND TURN UP THE EIGHT-TRACK (OOH) I’M PULLING THE WIG DOWN FROM THE SHELF HEDWIG SUDDENLY I’M MISS FARRAH FAWCETT FROM TV 24 OTHERS OO OO AH AH HEDWIG (CONT’D) UNTIL I WAKE UP OTHERS (CONT’D) AH Pe ru sa l HEDWIG AND I TURN BACK TO MYSELF SHAG, BI-LEVEL, BOB DOROTHY HAMILL DO, SAUSAGE CURLS, CHICKEN WINGS IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU O TI en s in g N WITH YOUR BLOW DRIED, FEATHER BACK, TONI HOME WAVE, TOO FLIP, FRO, FRIZZ, FLOP IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU OOO C U Li c (The lyrics of the chorus are projected for all to sing. YITZHAK adds the wig extension to Hedwig’s wig. Then he rips Hedwig’s dress off to reveal a fabulous new outfit underneath.) HEDWIG D O PR dw ay I PUT ON SOME MAKE-UP AND TURN UP THE EIGHT TRACK I’M PULLING THE WIG DOWN FROM THE SHELF OTHERS OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO R oa HEDWIG SUDDENLY I’M THIS PUNK ROCK STAR OF STAGE AND SCREEN Br FO AND I AIN’T NEVER I’M NEVER TURNING BACK VOCAL O T OOO OOO HEDWIG YITZHAK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO N VOCAL OOO OOO (YITZHAK helps HEDWIG on with a fur coat.) 25 Thank you! I think we have our single! HEDWIG (Spits beer into audience.) Pe ru sa l That was a rock and roll gesture. Actually that was a heavy metal gesture. Want to see a punk rock gesture? (Fills mouth with beer; a threatening pause; then she spits it all over herself.) O in g (Pronounced “SKSHP.”) N It’s the direction of the aggression that defines it. How ’bout this band? On bass, Jacek; on drums, Schlatko; on guitar, Krzyzhtof; and my trusted musical director, Skszp! TI U D O dw ay HEDWIG Very good, boys. Let’s watch the tempo next time. C BAND Li c (Together:) Yes, Miss Hedwig. en s So very talented. And so very lucky to be here. Right, boys? PR (Re: fur coat.) R (She turns to check her makeup in a mirror. A large splotch of red paint is revealed on the back of the coat. A phone starts to ring.) FO oa You like the pelt? Some bitch stopped me on the way in: “What poor, unfortunate creature had to die for you to wear that?” “My Aunt Trudi,” I replied. (YITZHAK carries a huge ringing payphone to her. She explains to audience:) O T Br I told him to turn that off before the show. I’m sorry, I should take this. N Serbian cell phone. (Into phone.) Hello? (To audience.) 26 HEDWIG (CONT’D) It’s my agent, Phyllis Stein. l (An ad-libbed conversation about exciting unspecified news. She hangs up.) Pe ru sa Guess who’s the new spokeswoman for the Tourist Board of Greater Serbia? (Singing to the tune of John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas.”*) * See Special Note on Songs and Recordings on copyright page. in g N “Come back to Greater Serbia. Come Christian, come Jew. We hope you can join us. We’ve cleansed it for you!” O TI C U D O dw ay Li c en s Have I introduced my husband, Yitzhak? We met during my Great Croatian Tour of the early mid-nineties. He was the most famous drag queen in Zagreb. Phyllis thought he would make a great opening act. Billed as “The Last Jewess in the Balkans,” he lipsynched something from Yentl under the name Krystal Nacht. He was good. He was too good. His applause drowned out my introduction and I refused to go on. But on my way out, he begged me to take him with me. My face might have been my mother’s, it was so still. I said to him, “Krystal, to walk away, you gotta leave something behind. I’ll marry you on the condition that a wig never touch your head again.” He agreed and we’ve been inseparable ever since. And we’ll continue to be. Right, Yitzhak? PR (Pointing into the house.) Look, Yitzhak, Immigration! R oa (YITZHAK doesn’t look.) FO Br Barbra Streisand! (Nothing.) T You’re no fun, go back to your hole. O (YITZHAK goes.) N Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re becoming fans of Hedwig. Because I am certainly becoming a fa — Cunt. (Into mic.) YITZHAK 27 HEDWIG (She whirls towards the emergency exit door as if the sound came from there.) Finally! Finally, Tommy’s getting around to — Pe ru sa l (She opens the door.) TOMMY (Off.) … ME, ME, ME, ME … (HEDWIG closes the door. Then she hears TOMMY saying something and she opens it again.) TI en s (She slams the door.) O in g N … one day, this little trailer trash kid put on some of his mom’s eyeliner, grabbed his beatup J.C. Penney guitar and called himself Tommy Gnosis! O D (To audience.) dw ay C U Li c HEDWIG TOMMY! CAN YOU HEAR ME? FROM THIS MILKLESS TIT, YOU SUCKED THE VERY BUSINESS WE CALL SHOW! PR Okay. Okay. You want to know about Tommy Gnosis? I’ll tell you about Tommy Gnosis. Get this dead thing off me. R oa (YITZHAK removes her fur coat and wig extension. HEDWIG turns to the band.) T Br FO LEUTE, WIR IMPROVISIEREN JETZT! BLEIBT DRAN! After my divorce, I scraped by with babysitting gigs and odd jobs. Mostly the jobs we call blow. I had lost my job at the base PX and I had lost my gag reflex. You do the math. I sat for the baby of General Speck, commander of the nearby army fort. His other son was The Artist Formerly Known As My Buttboy. N O (Projection: a drawing of Tommy.) 28 (Piano phrase from some cheesy hit.) Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) Yes, Tommy Speck. Tommy was a seventeen-year-old, four-eyed, pock-marked, Dungeons and Dragons-obsessed Jesus freak with a fish on his truck and I found him incredibly … hot. Perhaps it was his disdain for authority, his struggle with organized religion. One day, I walked in on him punishing the bishop. He was in the bath with the door wide open, clearly waiting for me. I reached down, finished His Grace off, and dropped a flyer on the bathmat. “By the way, Tommy, I am performing a short set tonight at Dr. Espresso’s Seattle-Style Coffee Enema Bar. Maybe I’ll see you there.” I had recently returned to my first love, music. I had tried singing once back in Berlin. They threw tomatoes. After the show I had a nice salad. But newly motivated, I bought a cheap electric piano. TI en s (Bad drums.) O in g N And I found a couple of Korean sargeants’ wives who churned out a mean rhythm section. C Somehow we became quite a draw singing the hits of the day under the name The Angry Inch. U O dw ay That night the audience was small but hostile. D Li c (Projection of Dr. Espresso’s logo.) PR (Lounge version of a punk rock song winds down. She speaks to Dr. Espresso’s audience:) R * See Special Note on Songs and Recordings on copyright page. FO Br oa Thank you. Both of you. That song was by Kurt Cobain.* That kid’s got a future, huh? And how ’bout Kwang-Yi on guitar? Give it up! Kwang-Yi! (Bad guitar solo.) T Give it up, Kwang. O (She sees someone in the audience.) N Looks like we have a celebrity here tonight over by the Sweet & Low. Ladies and gentlemen, little Tommy Speck, the General’s son! (Band claps half-heartedly. She speaks to Tommy re: the applause.) That’s more than I got, honey. He’s embarrassed. 29 #6 WICKED LITTLE TOWN (Piano intro starts.) O TI C U O dw ay OH LADY, LUCK HAS LED YOU HERE AND THEY’RE SO TWISTED UP THEY’LL TWIST YOU UP. I FEAR D Li c en s in g YOU’RE RUNNING UP AND DOWN THAT HILL YOU TURN IT ON AND OFF AT WILL THERE’S NOTHING HERE TO THRILL OR BRING YOU DOWN AND IF YOU’VE GOT NO OTHER CHOICE YOU KNOW YOU CAN FOLLOW MY VOICE THROUGH THE DARK TURNS AND NOISE OF THIS WICKED LITTLE TOWN N YOU KNOW, THE SUN IS IN YOUR EYES AND HURRICANES AND RAINS AND BLACK AND CLOUDY SKIES Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) Well, I’m a little nervous myself. This is the first song I’ve ever written. And it’s written for a guy to sing. We’re talking to Phil Collins’ people. But then again, aren’t we all? PR YITZHAK N O AH HA AH HA OOH HA T Br FO R oa THE PIOUS, HATEFUL AND DEVOUT YOU’RE TURNING TRICKS TIL YOU’RE TURNED OUT THE WIND SO COLD IT BURNS YOU’RE BURNING OUT AND BLOWING ROUND AND IF YOU’VE GOT NO OTHER CHOICE YOU KNOW YOU CAN FOLLOW MY VOICE THROUGH THE DARK TURNS AND NOISE OF THIS WICKED LITTLE TOWN HEDWIG THE FATES ARE VICIOUS AND THEY’RE CRUEL YOU LEARN TOO LATE YOU’VE USED TWO WISHES LIKE A FOOL 30 YITZHAK/HEDWIG AND THEN YOU’RE SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT l HEDWIG AND JUNCTION CITY AIN’T THE SPOT REMEMBER MRS. LOT AND WHEN SHE TURNED AROUND Pe ru sa YITZHAK/HEDWIG O in g N HEDWIG AND IF YOU GOT NO OTHER CHOICE YOU KNOW YOU CAN FOLLOW MY VOICE THROUGH THE DARK TURNS AND NOISE OF THIS WICKED LITTLE TOWN. C TI en s (On the final chord, she blows a kiss to TOMMY. She dabs her face with a towel and looks down at it. She holds it up for the audience to see.) U Li c Ladies and gentlemen, the Shroud of Hedwig. The next day, I was putting the little Speck baby to bed when Tommy appeared with a very expensive-looking electric guitar. D O dw ay (AS TOMMY:) (AS HEDWIG:) PR FO Br “Travel exhausts me.” R oa “Your show … that song … my dad … gave me this guitar to apologize for being a pathetic little dictator … You want to come up to my room?” We went up to the attic and he sang me songs. “Classics,” I was informed. The bands were new to me: Boston, Kansas, America, Europe, Asia. I put my hand on his strings. (AS TOMMY:) O T “Where are you from, Hedwig?” I told him my story. His face might have been a Yes album cover it was so still. N (AS TOMMY:) “Have you accepted Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as your personal savior?” I told him I was aware of Our Lord. Loved His work. (AS TOMMY:) 31 Pe ru sa l HEDWIG (CONT’D) “You know, what He saved us from was His fucking father. I mean what kind of God creates Adam in His image, pulls Eve out of him to keep him company, and then tells them not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge? That was so micromanaging. So was Adam. But Eve. Eve just wanted to know shit. She took a bite of the apple and found out what was good and what was evil. And she gave it to Adam so he would know. Because they were in love. And that was good, they now knew. Hedwig, will you give me the apple?” The words spilling from those lips. And his eyes. His irises were clear cylinders of surprising depth. And emptiness. Only a few puddles of bluish pain sloshed around inside. Same blue as my eyes. (Incidental acoustic guitar and projections accompany the following.) O in g N At the time, Tommy’s performance options were limited to the occasional guitar mass. I initiated a six-month curriculum of rock history, lyrics, grooming and vocal training — my patented oven technique. For his graduation, I gave him his name, Tommy Gnosis TI en s (The word “Gnosis” is projected.) (AS TOMMY:) C U D O FO oa “Honey, what is it?” PR (AS HEDWIG:) R dw ay Li c — the Greek word for knowledge. We collaborated. Songs exploded out of us. He started singing backup for me at Dr. Espresso’s. Teenage girls started showing up. I added a few duets. Standing-room only. Then, the Sizzler called. In three months, we were outgrossing monster trucks in Wichita. With that kind of money coming in, I was able to give up all my jobs and devote myself entirely to our career. We were very happy. One day, I am curled up in the trailer with my usual late-afternoon constitutional of grain alcohol and Brita. I like to be good to myself. Suddenly, Tommy is at the door in tears. O T Br “My dad … and my mom … and my parents.” I hold him as I never had been held. But, as usual, he squirms, slides behind me and clutches my spine to his chest. I am suddenly very much aware that we haven’t kissed in all the months we’ve been together. In fact, he has maintained a near-perfect ignorance of the front of me. N (AS HEDWIG:) “Honey, why don’t you work on that new song while I finish shaving your eyebrows?” (Tommy strums a guitar chord.) (AS TOMMY:) 32 (Singing.) “Look what you done … HEDWIG (CONT’D) l (The chord change is wrong.) Pe ru sa Shit.” Another song blows in from the trailer next door. YITZHAK (Sings “I Will Always Love You” à la Whitney Houston.*) … and IIIIIIII… * See Special Note on Songs and Recordings on copyright page. O in g N HEDWIG This song has been playing on a loop for three days. TI en s YITZHAK C (Singing.) … will always love you. I will always love you … dw ay (AS TOMMY:) PR “What do you think? Does love last forever?” FO Br oa (AS TOMMY:) R (AS HEDWIG:) “No, but this song does.” O D U Li c HEDWIG Tommy looks up at me through new lenses, one blue and one pink. “Do not knock a multiplatinum single. I wish I could hit those notes.” O T (AS HEDWIG:) N “Just move your lips and I’ll sing them for you, honey. From a shadowy corner of the stage. Like Mick Jagger’s backup singer.” We laugh at the professional reference. I return to his brows. (Singing.) … But most of all I wish you love … YITZHAK 33 HEDWIG (AS HEDWIG:) “Seriously, Tom, yes. I believe love is immortal.” l (TOMMY strums the same guitar chord again.) (Singing:) “Look what you done … (Another bad chord change.) TI en s (AS HEDWIG:) O in g Goddammit! How is it immortal?” N Pe ru sa (AS TOMMY:) U Li c (AS TOMMY:) C “Well, perhaps because love creates something that was not there before.” (AS TOMMY:) O “Yes, but not only.” PR dw ay (AS HEDWIG:) D “What, like procreation?” R FO (AS HEDWIG:) Br oa “What, like recreation?” He grabs my ass and he laughs. I don’t. “Sometimes just creation. Don’t move.” I paint a bold silver cross on his forehead. O T (TOMMY strums the chord.) N (AS HEDWIG:) “Honey, have you thought of a B flat after that B?” (AS TOMMY:) 34 (Singing.) “Look what you done — ” HEDWIG (CONT’D) YITZHAK (Modulating to a higher key.) Pe ru sa And IIIIIII … l (The B flat works gloriously. TOMMY looks up at her in awe.) (YITZHAK continues to sing through the following.) O TI U Li c (Singing.) C (AS TOMMY:) en s in g N HEDWIG Tommy slowly rises and draws the curtains that are attached at the top and the bottom. He reachs out his hand. I take it. I notice how well his “Harlem Spice” nail color complements my own “Dusty Menses”. He spins me into his arms and rubs his pelvis … into the small of my back. PR (AS HEDWIG:) (Singing.) D O dw ay “Look what you done. You made me whole. Before I met you, I was the song. But now I’m the video.” R FO Br oa “Look what I’ve done, I made you whole. You know that you were just a ham. Then came me, the Dole pineapple rings … ” He laughs and I am filled with an ancient clarity. He’s the one. (The “Origin of Love” chords drift in. Projection: two complementary faces looking at each other.) N O T No blood in my eyes, no blood on his face. He’s the one. The one who was taken. The one who left. The twin born by fission. He’ll die in fusion. Our fusion, cold fusion, unlimited power, unlimited knowledge. The secrets he must hold. The memories that we shared. The words to complete the sentence that I began: “I am … !” My eyes fill with muddy Maybelline tears. (AS TOMMY:) 35 HERE! SELECTED VERSES FROM THE GOSPEL OF THOMAS* Pe ru sa l Jesus said to them, “When you make the two one, and the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and the male and the female into one and the same, so that the male be not male nor the female female; and when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, and an image in place of an image; then will you enter the kingdom.” His disciples said to him, “Is circumcision beneficial or not?” Jesus said to them, “If it were beneficial, their father would beget them from their mother already circumcised. However, the true circumcision of the spirit has proved entirely profitable.” in g N Jesus said, “Be not be anxious from morning until evening and from evening until morning about what you will wear.” O TI en s Jesus said, “If you bring forth that which is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” C U D O PR N O T Br FO R oa dw ay Li c *One of Gnostic Gospels from the First Century A.D. that were deemed unsuitable for inclusion in the New Testament by the early Christian Church. 44 O TI C U D O PR N O T Br FO R oa dw ay Li c en s in g N Pe ru sa l ARISTOPHANES’ SPEECH FROM PLATO’S SYMPOSIUM In the first place, let me treat of the nature of man and what has happened to it; for the original human nature was not like the present, but different. The sexes were not two as they are now, but originally three in number; there was man, woman and the union of the two, having a name corresponding to this double nature, which had once a real existence, but is now lost, and the word “Androgynous” is only preserved as a term of reproach. In the second place, the primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two privy members, and the remainder to correspond. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast. Now the sexes were three; and such as I have described them; because the sun, moon and earth are three and the man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round like their parents. Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods; of them is told the tale of Otys and Ephialtes who, as Homer says, dared to scale heaven, and would have laid hands upon the gods. Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: “Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again, and they shall hop about on a single leg.” He spoke and cut men in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling, or as you might divide an egg with a hair; and as he cut them one after another, he bade Apollo give the face and the half of the neck a turn in order that the man might contemplate the section of himself: he would thus learn a lesson of humility. Apollo was also bidden to heal their wounds and compose their forms. So he gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, like the purses which draw in, and he made one mouth at the center, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel); he also molded the breast and took out most of the wrinkles, much as a shoemaker might smooth leather upon a last; he left a few, however, in the region of the belly and navel, as a memorial of the primeval state. After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one, they were on the point of dying from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart; and when one of the halves died and the other survived, the survivor sought another mate, man or woman as we call them — being the sections of entire men or women — and clung to that. They were being destroyed, when Zeus in pity of them invented a new plan: he turned the parts of generation round to the front, for this had not been always their position, and they 45 O TI C U D O PR N O T Br FO R oa dw ay Li c en s in g N Pe ru sa l sowed the seed no longer as hitherto like grasshoppers in the ground, but in one another; and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that by the mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue; or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways to the business of life: so ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of man. Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half. Men who are a section of that double nature which was once called Androgynous are lovers of women; adulterers are generally of this breed, and also adulterous women who lust after men: the women who are a section of the woman do not care for men, but have female attachments; the female companions are of this sort. But they who are a section of the male follow the male, and while they are young, being slices of the original man, they hang about men and embrace them, and they are themselves the best of boys and youths, because they have the most manly nature. Some indeed assert that they are shameless, but this is not true: for they do not act thus from any want of shame, but because they are valiant and manly, and have a manly countenance, and they embrace that which is like them. And these when they grow up become our statesmen, and these only, which is a great proof of the truth of what I am saying. When they reach manhood they are lovers of youth, and are not naturally inclined to marry or beget children — if at all, they do so only in obedience to the law; but they are satisfied if they may be allowed to live with one another unwedded; and such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him. And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover’s intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment. Suppose Hephaestus, with his instruments, to come to the pair who are lying side by side and to say to them, “What do you people want of one another?” they would be unable to explain. And suppose further, that when he saw their perplexity he said: “Do you desire to be wholly one; always day and night to be in one another’s company? For if this is what you desire, I am ready to melt you into one and let you grow together, so that being two you shall become one, and while you live a common life as if you were a single man, and after your death in the world below still be one departed soul instead of two — I ask whether this is what you lovingly desire — and whether you are satisfied to attain this?” — there is not a man of them who when he heard the proposal would deny or would not acknowledge that this meeting and melting into one another, this becoming one instead of two, was the very expression of his ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love. There was a time, I say, when we were one, but now because of the wickedness of mankind God has dispersed us, as the Arcadians were dispersed into villages by the Lacedaemonians. And if we are not obedient to the gods, there is a danger that we shall be split up again and go about in bas relief, like the profile 46 Pe ru sa l figures having only half a nose which are sculptured on monuments, and that we shall be like tallies. Wherefore let us exhort all men to piety, that we may avoid evil, and obtain the good, of which love is to us the lord and minister; and let no one oppose him — he is the enemy of the gods who opposes him. For if we are friends of the God and at peace with him we shall find our own true loves. I believe that if our loves were perfectly accomplished, and each one returning to his primeval nature had his original true love, then our race would be happy. O TI C U D O PR N O T Br FO R oa dw ay Li c en s in g N —Translated by Benjamin Jowett 47 PROPERTY LIST Pe ru sa FO R PR O D U C TI O in g Li c dw ay oa N O T Br N SOUND EFFECTS en s Various crowd cheers Door slams Pay phone rings l Hand mirror (YITZHAK) Flowing wig extension and comb (YITZHAK) American flag (HEDWIG) Camera (MOTHER) Fabulous new dress (HEDWIG) Fur coat (YITZHAK) Beer (HEDWIG) Pay phone (YITZHAK) Towel (HEDWIG) Two tomatoes (HEDWIG) 48 TI en s TEXT BY O in g N Pe ru sa l HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH O MUSIC & LYRICS BY dw ay C D U Li c JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL PR FO R oa STEPHEN TRASK N O T Br SCORE SAMPLE 03/11/21 T O N R FO N O TI C U in g en s Li c D O PR dw ay oa Br Pe ru sa l Piano-Conductor HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH 01 TEAR ME DOWN œ & ’ œ œ œ ’ ’ Û Û Br oa Gtr. œ J ?œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ C F œ Œ F Û Û FILL ’ ’ ’ ’ C ’ ’ ’ ’ C TI O ’ Û Û ’ Û Û U Œ bœ œ œ 3 œ œ œ ˙ 4 Ó Of a town ripped in two ‘ ’ ’ ’ ÛÛ ’ ’ sim. ’ ’ Bb ’ ’ ÛÛ ’ ’ ‘ ‘ Û Û Û ’’’ÛÛ F C ’’’ÛÛ Û N O T Bs. Sim. Ó D N in g œ œ œ Ó 2 I was born on the oth - er side dw ay Band In Bb ’ ’ ’ ’ Li c HEDWIG: ’ ’ PR V Œ ã C bœ œ œ œ œ œ A ’ ’ ’ ’ F œ œ ’ ’ Û Û ? 44 œ bb œœ œ Pno. (solo) Pe ru sa ’ ’ ’ ’ ∑ C D Œ ∑ B en s & 44 ∑ O Œ R ã 44 HEDWIG: "Don't you know me? I'm the new Berlin wall. Try and tear me down!" FO D.S. INTRO A l CUE: YITZHAK: "Ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not ... Hedwig!" ("America the Beautiful" begins on majestic solo guitar and Hedwig enters from the house.) © 1999 Atlantic Recording Group - W.E.A. International Û Û I made it o - ver the great di - vide C ’’’ Û Û Ó & ’ ’ ’ Û Û ? ’ ’ ’ F oa ’ ’ ’ Û Û ’ Bb & ’ N ? ’ C ’ I dare T œ N O down Û Û ’ ’ ’ ÛÛ F C ’ ’ ’ ÛÛ ’ Û Û Û 16 Œ bœ œ œ œ bœ œ œ Œ Ó 14 you Try and tear me ‘ down ‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ÛÛ ’ Û Û ’ Û Û F F C Û Û ∑ 15 Û Û ’ ∑ Û ’ œ œ J ∑ 12 œ O œ ∑ ’ ’ ’ Û Û ’ FO Br You want me, ba - by, ’ They try and tear me ∑ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ V ‰ J 13 ã ‰ Jœ œ œ œ œ œ œ 11 PR Û Û Û Û C œ ad - ver - sar - ies Û Û ’ U and and C ’ ’’ÛÛ ’ F Bb R V œ ’’’ Û Û 10 ‰ œj œ b œ œ Œ Ó œ En - e - mies Û Û en s V œ Û Û ’ Ó Û Û ’ dw ay 9 F œ œ œ ‰J HARMONY: ’ ’’ÛÛ ’ O ? ’ ’ C Û Û ∑ En - e - mies Pe ru sa ’ And now I'm com - ing for you ∑ œ Œ ‰ œj œ œ 8 D & ’ ’ 7 in g V ∑ ‰ b œJ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ Ó 6 HEDWIG TI œ œœ œ œ œ œ ‰ V J HEDWIG: Li c 5 01. TEAR ME DOWN l Piano-Conductor Bb ’ ’ ’ ÛÛ ’ Û Û ’ œ Û Û œ œ ‰ Û J > ’’’‰Û J Tutti F5 ’’’‰Û J Piano-Conductor œ œ ‰ J Ó Ooh ‰ Û J Sn./Toms ‘ > " Û Û Û œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ bœ J > > > > F " > >. >œ œ >œ œ b œ œ b œ œ œ Û Û bœ. J Ó 22 Ooh Û Û œœ œ œ œœ œ œ œœ œ > > > &‰ Û ‰ Û Û ‰ Û ‰ Û ‰ Û Û J J J J J > > > > > Eb Bb C F Eb Bb C > > ? ‰ b œ ‰ b œj œ (œ ) ‰ œ ‰ b œ ‰ b œj œ J J J > Û Û ’ ’ PR >. œ >œ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ FILL œ >œ œ b œ œ œ b œ R ’ FO ’ T ’ > Û Û bœ. 27 œœ œ œ œœ œ œ Û Û > > ’ ’ ’ ’ ‰ ‰ bœ 28 O ã 26 &’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ?’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ C N Piano Solo Band -- Groove ∑ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ > > > > O Li c dw ay oa Br INTERLUDE 25 U ‰ Û J Sn./Toms C ‰ Û ‰ Û Û J J ã ‰ Û ‰ Û Û J J 24 D Ooh ∑ 23 en s V Ó œ œ J ‰ in g œ œ J ‰ Pe ru sa &‰ Û ‰ Û Û ‰ Û ‰ Û ‰ Û Û J J J J J > > > > > Eb Bb C F Eb Bb C ? ‰ b œ ‰ b œj œ (œ ) ‰ œ ‰ b œ ‰ b œj œ J J J 21 œœ œ œ œœ œ œ >œœ " Û J J > > œœ œ œ œœ œ œ œœ œ > > > l ‰ Û ‰ Û Û J J ∑ 20 N Ooh ∑ 19 O V Ó œ œ ‰ J 18 HEDWIG TI B1 ã 01. TEAR ME DOWN Û J FILL Û œ œ ‰ bœ œ œ Piano-Conductor HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH 02 THE ORIGIN OF LOVE Pe ru sa CUE: HEDWIG: "Whatever allowed her to reveal such a story to such a little boy, I'll never know. But I remember it like it was yesterday." l WARN: HEDWIG: "When the hour grew late and it was time for bed..." B C D ## 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ V ## œ. ∑ ’ A sus4 N TI C œ œ œ œ œ œ œ When the earth was still flat, D ∑ ‰ œj œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ’ ’ ∑ some - times hi ’ ’ And ∑ 4 3 ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ O R O N ? ## sim. ‰ and moun - tains stretched up to the sky, ’ ’ ∑ A1 HEDWIG: U Li c œ œ œ œ ‰ ‰ œj œ . œ œ . clouds made of fi - re, D /B ∑ Œ G sus4 G G 6 3 # & # ’ ’ ∑ œ œ œœ œ œœœ œ œ J FO Br 2 ∑ Ó G œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œJ oa ? ## ∑ dw ay & F G D ∑ ∑ PR # V # A sus4 in g ∑ E ## D /B en s ? # # 44 D O INTRO Gtr. (solo) T A - gher, 5 Ó ˙ ’’ ’ ’’’’ ∑ ∑ G © 1999 Atlantic Recording Group - W.E.A. International Piano-Conductor 7 j œ œ # & # ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ Br ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ D ’ ’ two fa - ces peer - ing ’ ’ D /F # ’ ’ œ œ œ T ’ ? ## ’ Em ’ O ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ 11 ‰ œj œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ’ ’ ’ out of one gi - ant ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ G ’ ’ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj œ œ ’ ’ 13 14 œ watch all a - round them as they talked; While they read. And they ne - ver N & ’ They had head So they could R ’ # j V # ‰ œ œ œ œ 12 ## ’ 10 dw ay ’ oa ? ## sim. œ legs. They had ’ ’ ’ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ two sets of ’ ’ Li c V ## ’ œ FO 9 LITE TOM FILLS (3+4) in g Bs. sets of arms. en s œ. two ’ Build -----------------------------------------G ? ## They had N # # Gtr. (Fuller - Light Strum) & ’ ’ ’ D.S. kegs. l œ roll - ings O œ big TI œ like C D.S. (Kick) the earth œ œ œ œ œ œ œ U Folks roamed 8 Pe ru sa œ œ œ D ã HEDWIG ‰ j œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ O V ## PR 6 02. THE ORIGIN OF LOVE ’ ’ ’ A ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ knew no - thing of love. ’ ’ G ’ ’ ‰ Û ‰ Û J J A D ‰ Û ‰ Û J J ‰ œ # & # | j œ œ it œ œ was be - fore œ œ ˙ ’ ’ ’ D /B ? ## | ’ ’ G ’ ’ ’ ‰. Œ 16 17 œ œ mm - hmm ’ CHORUS the or - i - gin Û Û ’ | A sus4 A Û Û ∑ dw ay en s three sex-es then, One that looked ‰ œ ‰ Û ‰ Û J J N # & # Û Û ? ## Û Û Bm ‰ Û ‰ Û J J ‰Û J | Ó | Ó D U ’ ’ ’ D G ‰Û J ’ ’ ’ sim. ‘ Œ 24 like two men Glued up back to back, Û Û Û Û And there were The or - i - gin of love œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œœ œ œ T œ O ã j œ TOM œ 23 FO oa Br ’’ ’ ’ ‰ j œ œ Œ ‰ Jœ œ œ œ œ œ O ‰ Û J ’ love. The or - i - gin of love. PR G # # HEDWIG: V œ œ œ œ œ œ œ A2 ’’ ’ ’ Li c ? ## ’ ’ D ‰ Û J ’ R # & # ’’ The or - i - gin of love. ˙ 21 TI ## Œ ‰ . œ œ œ œ œ œ V R The or - i - gin of C The or - i - gin of love. HARMONY: love. O in g HEDWIG: of | 19 20 ## Œ ‰ . r œ œ jœœ Œ ‰ j ‰ œ œ œ œ œœ V œ œ œ œœ œ œ œœ 18 r œ œ œ œ œ œ N V ## HEDWIG Pe ru sa 15 02. THE ORIGIN OF LOVE l Piano-Conductor ‰ Û ‰ Û J J ‰ Û ‰ Û J J Ó ≈ r œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ They called the child-ren of the sun ‘ Û Û D Û Û ‰Û ‰ J ‰Û ‰ J Û J Û J Piano-Conductor HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH 05 WIG IN A BOX Pno. (solo) C # m/ G # A ? ### 4 | 4 Rubato (q ~ 40) C F # m7 G6 in g | D Ó | en s VERSE | œD œ œ . œ E U J | œ œ œ œ B ∑ F U ˙ U ˙ N œœœ œ œ œ Freely - Ad lib INTRO O ### 4 œ œ œ & 4 œ A HEDWIG (CONT'D): "...There it lies, feigning shock. My personal hair system. My personal hell. My Hedwig." U ˙ TI q = 98 Pe ru sa CUE: HEDWIG: "I tear my wig from my scalp and hurl it across the room at a pile of unopened anniversary presents." [MUSIC GO] l WARN: YITZHAK: "'Cause I'm just an embryo, with a long, long way to go..." j "œ œJ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ # # # ‰ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ ŒH œ œ œ œ œ œ . œ I œ œ œ œ. œ œ .R V | () T | O ### ? ### | A I feel had ˙˙˙ ˙ C # m7/G # | C U ‰ œ œ œœ œ . E E ˙ n ˙˙˙ | D | A PR F # m7 ### ‰ œ œ œ œ . ‰ œ œ œ I get down D | N & () | | | R G6 FO | Br V ˙˙˙ ˙ | C # m7/G # A oa ? ### L () When the world's a bit a - miss And the lights go down A - cross the trail - er park O | like this dw ay & ### On nights Freely Li c HEDWIG: G | | | ‰. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ R œ. | | | D E M () Feel on the verge of go - ing mad F # m7 | ˙ n ˙˙˙ G6 | N | ©1999 Atlantic Recording Group - W.E.A. International œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ Then it's time | to punch the More Pno. 05. WIG IN A BOX (q = 60 Swing) # # # j " r œ œ œ œ œ Œ ‰P j œ .œ V œ œ œ œ œ œ œ .Œ & ### ? ### clock.I put on somemake-up ’ ’ ’ ’ A Œ œ œ œœœ œ œ œœ And turn up the tape deck ’’ ’ ’ C #m ’’ ’ ’ R And put the wig down on my head ’ ’ ’’ F #m E œ Œ Ó Q ’ ’ ’ ’ ’’’’ Pe ru sa O HEDWIG l Piano-Conductor D A ’ ’ ’’ F #7 E ’’’’ œ ### ‰ œJ Œ nœ œ ˙ BB ‰ Jœ œ œ n˙ N O Pno./Gtr. ? # # # Pno. ˙ Ó œ œ ’ ’ ’ CC nœ œ ˙ œ œ ‰ Jœ nœ œ O TI G6 A7 ∑ home And I put my - self to bed | | D E C U ’ œœœ ’ œ O ’ Faster (q = 120) E /G # A FO Br & ’ PR ### ’ R ’ oa V ’ D E INTERLUDE AA in g Bm en s ’ Li c ’’ ’’ () Miss Mid - west Mid - night Check - out Queen Un - til I head dw ay ? ### Sud - den - ly I'm T & ### N U # # # Œ œ . œ œ . œ œ œ œ œ . œT œ . œ œ . œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ V S w | ∑ nœ œ ˙ | DD w w ∑ ã & o + x x ### x œ x. Ó x œ ’ ’ Ó ? ### I R look x œ up ’ ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó A ’ ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó œ 10 N ’ ’ Ó Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ rou - tine ‘ ’ ’ Ó ’’Ó ’ ’ Ó ‘ A œ Ó Œ 11 the rocks E ’’Ó ‰ œJ Jœ A ‘ ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó F # m7 œ gift - wrapped ‘ ’ C # m/ G # œ Œ Ó 8 O sud - den - ly œ œ o + x x be - come G6 7 Ó from my ver - mouth on x. Ó Ó F #m T x œ ### ’ ’ ‰ œJ œ œ ‰ Jœ œ œ O ### E I've ’ ’ ‘ Ó man ‘ est things Seem ’ ’ ’ ’ Ó N & - œ œ œ ‘ œ œ œ œ œ œ 6 D oa ã œ - TI œ Œ ‰ œJ œ Br V Ó And the strang ? ### 9 œ Li c V ### œ dw ay 5 Ó C # m7/G # Ó Bs. ’ œ œ C œ ’ the wo U ? ### œ A ‘ Ó ’ ’ Look at 4 Pe ru sa x œ from D ### x œ on where I'm 3 O D..S. o+ x. x x Ó I look back Œ ‰ œJ œ œ œ œ œ Œ J œ HEDWIG in g & 2 œ ‰ J œ J PR ã ‰ œJ œ œ œ en s V ### FO A1 05. WIG IN A BOX l Piano-Conductor œ J wig HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Piano-Conductor 09 EXQUISITE CORPSE Oh God I'm all sewn up ’ Sim. Br oa C5 D.S. sim. - dy A coll - age & ’ ’ ’ ’ ? ’ ’ ’ ’ A5 ’ ˙ B1 T œ œ ‰ Jœ N & ’ O œœ œ A5 C5 œ œ C5 A5 ’ ’ ’ Ó 10 A5 ’ ’ ’ œ œ œ œœ O ’ Ó C5 through mi - ser - y's ’ ’ FO ? ’ ’’ ’ 8 6 And you can trace the lines & Û Û ÛÛÛ Û Û Û ’ A5 œ œ ‘ O in g en s ‰ Jœ œ œ œ PR dy œ œœœ ’ ’ bo - Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û Û A5 Sim. R - 5 dw ay & C5 Li c œ #œ œ Ó 4 œœ œ œ A5 Scar map a - cross my ‘ ÛÛ Û Û Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛ Û E 5 F 5 F #5 G 5 ? 44 œ œ >œ # œ >œ œ œ cut N Gtr. 4 &4 ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ > > > > A hard - ened ra - zor j j œœ œ œ œ œœ œ J J œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 3‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ J TI ∑ HEDWIG: ’ ’ de - sign 7 ’ ’ œœ œ œ œ œ œ That map a- cross my bo - ’ ’ ’ C5 A5 ’ ’ œ œ All sewn ÛÛ‰ÛÛÛ‰Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > # > > A5 B b5 E5 F5 F 5 G5 ÛÛ‰ÛÛÛ‰Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > #˙ 11 up © 1999 Atlantic Recording Group - W.E.A. International C5 ’ C ã 44 2 ‰ Jœ œ œ œ œ ‰ Jœ ‰ œJ œ A1 U ∑ Pe ru sa & 44 A D q = 152 l SEGUE FROM #8 ’ Ó ’ ’ Ó 12 2 « 2 « ’ ’ C5 ’ ’ ‰ œJ œ œ A mon-tage œ B b5 up F #5 ?ÛÛ‰ ÛÛÛ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > E5 F5 A5 19 4 # œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ nœ ‰ &4 J ˙ 20 need - le and thread œ œ œ & 44 # œ # œ #œ œ en s ? 44 #œ #œ #œ ‘ #œ #œ #œ 23 œ #œ œ œ œ ‰ & J J #œ œ œ œ œ FO 22 Br ˙ œ O T #œ N ? #w ‘ Nœ œ Nœ œ #œ #œ Nœ œ œ bœ œ U #˙ œ ŸI 3 25Ÿ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ œ œ œ 24œ œ œ œ # œ œ n œ # œ w a tor - na - do bo - dy With a hand gre - nade head And the & #œ #œ nœ œ D O œ- 44 G5 R oa N œ^ PR #˙ Bs. #œ #œ œ Nœ F #5 The o- ver -lap - ping way dis - eas-es are spread Through ‘ dw ay Gtr. F5 21 ‰# œJ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ # œ Li c A ran - dom pat- tern with a œ E5 in g YITZHAK: ã 44 B b5 44 Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û 45 Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Œ J J > > > > G5 Light Feel / Clean 18 44 ∑ Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û 45 Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Œ J J > > > > sewn &ÛÛ‰ ÛÛÛ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > A5 5416 Ó N I'm all #˙ 15 l ‰ Jœ œ Œ 14 O Ó TI & ˙ HEDWIG C 13 09. EXQUISITE CORPSE Pe ru sa Piano-Conductor œ w #œ #œ œ legs are two lo - vers | G #5 #˙ en - twined | ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ #˙ C5 C #5 nœ Piano-Conductor 09. EXQUISITE CORPSE A tempo œ œ œ œ œ œœ &‰J A2 œœ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 29œ # œ œ Ó 28 27 In - side I'm hol - lowed out Out - side a pap - er HEDWIG shroud And all the rest's il - lu - sion &ÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û Û ÛÛÛ Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ?ÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ A5 A5 Û Û Û Û ÛÛ Œ Ó C5 Ó 35 œ œ All sewn Ó 39 T O Ó #˙ 36 sion A col - lage N C5 A5 Ó C5 ‰ Jœ Ó 37 up œ œ A mon - tage Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > # > > A5 B b5 E5 F5 F5 G5 Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > œ œ All sewn &Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > # > > A5 B b5 E5 F5 F5 G5 ?Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > N A5 PR FO R oa Br & ˙ - Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ Û Û &Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > # > > A5 B b5 E5 F5 F 5 G5 ?Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > 38 and con - fu in g en s A5 Li c & œ From cha - os Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ Û Û dw ay B2 l ? ÛÛ C5 A5 That we can wrest con - trol œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 33œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ J 32 O Û Û Û Û ÛÛ That there's a will and soul C5 ÛÛ Û Û ÛÛÛ Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ TI & ÛÛ œœ œ œ œ œ œ 31 A5 C œ œ œ œ œœ ÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ C5 U œ & ‰J 30 C5 D C5 O A5 Pe ru sa Full Band! œ #œ 40 up Ó 41 ∑ Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > # > > A5 B b5 E5 F5 F 5 G5 Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J J > > > > Piano-Conductor HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH 11 MIDNIGHT RADIO In tempo Rain falls ∑ Am & œœœœ .... C Gtr. 2 Burns ∑ C sus4 C O œ 5 ≈ œr œ . ‰ Œ Û Û Û Û Û Û. J Û ∑ Am ∑ œ ‰ Œ. G Û Û Û Û N C dry œ œ That hits you so hard Û J Û. T Û Û. J O Û N & Û. Gtr. 1 ∑ C ≈ œr œ Œ 8 song ‰ Œ. Û Û Û ‰ œ œ 6 Û J A dream Or a Û Û Û Û Û Û ∑ F R ˙. Br V ∑ F œ 4 Û J O Û Û Û Û Û |. J oa B1 hard dw ay & |. ? œ . œ ‰ Œ 3 PR œ ‰ Œ. 2 ∑ Li c V ‰ Œ. HEDWIG: ∑ C sus4 FO A1 Û TI C Û. D C ∑ C sus4 Û Û Û en s ? 68 Û Û Û C U Ad. lib. Û J B D Gtr. 1 (solo) 6 Û & 8 Û. in g e = 157 (xx = Shuffle) Pe ru sa l SEGUE FROM #10 "WICKED LITTLE TOWN (REP.)" œ œ œ œœœ .. . F Û Û Û J 9 œœ .. œœ .. C Û Œ. 10 Û J œ œ œ © 1999 Atlantic Recording Group - W.E.A. International œ œ. & , œ J Fill - ing you Û. Û œœœ .. . Û J œ F j œ 12 up And sud-den - ly œ feel œx x x œ J Groove Û Û Û Ûœ Û Û œ œ & œ œ œ Am ˙. oa Bs. Û Û Û Ûœ Û Û œ œ œ œ œ Br V œ œ. ‰ Œ. ‘ O ã in your ‘ N Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û & Û ÛJ Û Û Û Û J ? ˙. Am ˙. F œ B2 œ œ œ. Know T free Give ‘ Û Û Û Ûœ Û Û œ œ œ œ œ ‰ Œ. ˙. G 7/ F œ œ œ Œ 22 soul Bs. / D.S. (sim.) & Û C œ. œ Like your blood knows ‘ Û Gtr. 1 Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Gtr. 2 ‘ Û Ûœ Û Û Û Û œ œ œ œ œ ˙. ˙. 20 œ C /E FO 19 F /C ‰ Œ. 18 PR Gtr. 2 love ‘ dw ay Gtr. 1 œ ? ˙˙˙ ... C x 17 Li c x x œ. ã ‰ Œ. Û ‰ Œ. 16 Breathe gg ˙˙˙ ... |. O œ Û J C Û U ‰ Œ. g|. œœœ .. . Œ. l œ œ F Û Û > > > œ œ œ gone O Û. R V Û ∑ 14 Pe ru sa œ A2 Œ. 13 ∑ en s & œœœœ .... C œ. ∑ Û Û Û. J &Û œ in g ∑ ã ? ≈ œr œ œ œ Œ D V ‰ Œ. HEDWIG TI œ 11 11. MIDNIGHT RADIO N Piano-Conductor Û Û Û Û Û J F the ‘ Û Û Û Û Û Û J Û Û Û From your heart Û Û &Û Û Û Û Û Û J Û J Û V œ. œ. C F 27 Œ. 28 Û Û Û ‰ œ œ. C1 And you're ∑ Know that you're Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û J C œ shin - x x œ. F œ30 œ œ ‰ ing bright - est Like the œx x x œ J &Û F mis - sion ‘ D O œ œ ˙. On the mid - ra - di - o night œ œ star A F /E Û Û Û Û Û Û œ. 33 ‘ Û Û Û Û Û Û 34 Œ œ œ And you're ‘ ‘ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ?Û Û Û Û Û Û G Û Û Û Û Û Û C sus4 O &Û Û Û Û Û Dm trans - ‘ N T ã r œ 32 œ œ ‰ Œ œ œ FO oa Br ‰. R dw ay œ œ VJ 31 Û Û Û Û? Û Û Û Û Û Û J Bs. PR Û Û Û Û Û J U Û Û Û Û Û Û Li c &Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û C Û Û Û Û J œ J ‰ œ œ x en s ∑ œ œ œ. J Œ. 26 brain Û whole ã to your in g &Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Œ. N way œ œ œ œ œœœ l ‰. 25 O ‰ Œ. œ >œ œ œ 24 TI V œ HEDWIG C 23 11. MIDNIGHT RADIO Pe ru sa Piano-Conductor Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û C T O N R FO N O TI C U in g en s Li c D O PR dw ay oa Br Pe ru sa l T O N R FO N O TI C U in g en s Li c D O PR dw ay oa Br Pe ru sa l Dedicated to the publication, licensing, and promotion of compelling contemporary musicals. Delivering superior services to playwrights and composers through traditional publishing, unique online features, and intellectual property protection. Connecting theaters and audiences with diverse new dramatic works. www.BroadwayLicensing.com Broadway Licensing 7 Penn Plaza, Suite 904 toll-free phone: 1-866-NEW-PLAY email: info@broadwaylicensing.com website: www.broadwaylicensing.com 70269
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