PROFESSOR
LABANBA!
@LEARNWITHANGELDEE
He, probably, didn’t envisage it would end
this way. He was duly warned by
colleagues, friends, associates and
relatives who could see the dangers in his
ardent decision. They saw it coming but it
never came until now. Even if it had come,
does he really care? Prof. Labanba is not a
man who would compromise once he’s
taken a decision. He is a western man with
traditional orientations. Where he hails
from, men are kings who rule over all –
slaves and freeborn; children, men, and
Twenty-five years after his marriage to his wife, prof
labanba decided to celebrate 25 years of a peaceful
and successful married life. It was a marriage they all
kicked against many years back; a marriage they had
said would fail before it got started; a marriage
between the patriarch and his subject – between the
governor and the governed. His decision was
obviously to spite those who never gave his
marriage decision a chance and to show to the entire
world that the traditional way of life is not all barbaric
or primitive. This was the reason he had opted for a
lady from his place of origin – crude, natural and
obedient
to
the
dictates
of
her
man.
He was just beginning his career as a lecturer of
Literature in one of the Federal Institutions in the
country. “Go for a lady that would add value to your life
and career”, they had advised, “a woman that would be
able to stand where you stand and sit where you sit –
an enlightened graduate.”
Who were they to dictate to him? He had bagged his
Bachelor of Arts degree in Literature at the prestigious
Obafemi Awolowo University. He even got his master’s
degree in literature from Cambridge, London. He knew
it all – everything about the human nature. He had
tasted the western world and his – he had seen enough
Prof. Labanba had always argued with his
friends and colleagues on the need to
embrace the traditional way of life. His
father was a polygynist – a man with many
wives – yet none of them ever raised a
brow when he talked – they were always
submissive and respectful – except, of
course, those times they made him groan
submissively with the subtle but powerful
tool of a woman. Though he had resolved
not to marry more than one, yet she must
be from his hometown – a woman like his
He could justify his decision – women with
western mentality compete with their men: their
men prepare for work, they do the same; their
men return late, they work late too. With them,
marriage becomes competitive and not
complementary. Who would prepare his meal
before he leaves for work in the morning and
when he returns late at night; who would do his
laundry and take care of his children; who
would kneel to serve his food and call him
‘lord’ as the ‘Lord’ ordained? It was,
undoubtedly, not that woman with so many
Maybe it wouldn’t have ended this way if he
had brought up the woman he married many
years ago to meet his status as a Professor.
What would he need her for? He has never
subscribed to the idea of attending occasions
with his wife except for church services. Maybe
he was scared – scared that she would become
like the western women if she is taught to read
and write; if she’s taught to give speeches at
public functions; if she is taught to evolve and
become a complete or rounded woman she
could and would have become.
This time, necessity has come knocking. It is
their marriage celebration. His wife must speak
at the event, even if it were just a phrase. She
must be tutored on how to move, speak and
exchange pleasantries. She must become
western just for a day and get back to her old
ways immediately afterwards – she has
obviously been living inside her husband’s
doll’s house. The Prof. began to teach his wife
how to perform her role at the occasion. All she
needed to do is give a one sentence vote of
thanks. “I am grateful” was all she had been
The occasion begins with all the important
dignitaries on seat – foreign Professors, business
associates, colleagues and all other people from all
walks of life graced the occasion. It all started well
and was getting towards the climax. The Prof. has
obviously made his point; he’s been able to buy the
people’s minds with his mind-blowing and thoughtprovoking speech. The atmosphere was charged,
alive and waiting to be murdered. It was at this
point Mrs Labanba is called to give the vote of
thanks. She walks to the stage as rehearsed – her
posture, gesture and all are simply impressive. You
needed to have seen the gem of a woman he
married – even after 25 years of marriage she could
Mrs Labanba is handed the microphone to render
her gratitude to all those who had come from all
walks of life; from far and near. She moves from one
position to the other saying with smiles and utmost
curtsies, “I am great o, I am great o!” Her mind had
obviously been carried away by the ovation she
received upon her coming on stage that she had
forgotten the last syllable of the sentence she had
rehearsed before the Prof. for the better part of two
weeks. Shame-faced, Prof. Labanba comes on stage
to get the microphone. “I am grateful’ was all you
needed to say,” the Prof whispered into her ears.
Determined to make amends, Mrs Labanba gets back
the microphone and begins: “FULu re tokun re o,
FULu re tokun re o” meaning “here’s the remaining