st
Family life in 21 century:
Challenges and prospects
LIFE AND LIVING
Topic #6
Ethical Foundations of Family Life
LIFE AND LIVING
To know about the selection criteria for the Husband
Objectives
of the
lecture
To know the selection criteria for the wife.
To learn the advantages of Islamic
Selection Methodology .
LIFE AND LIVING
Kafa’ah in the Qur’an and Hadees
Prophet Muhammad ‫ ﷺ‬said : Whoever is able to marry, should marry...“
َ َ ‫ب َم ِن ا ْست‬
َّ ‫ي صلى هللا عليه وسلم " يَا َم ْعش ََر ال‬
‫ َو َم ْن لَ ْم يَ ْست َ ِط ْع فَعَلَ ْي ِه‬،‫ع ِم ْن ُك ُم ْالبَا َءة َ فَ ْليَتَزَ َّو ْج‬
َ ‫طا‬
ِ ‫شبَا‬
ُّ ‫قَا َل النَّ ِب‬
." ‫ص ْو ِم فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ ِو َجا ٌء‬
َّ ‫ِبال‬
‘’the Prophet ( )‫ﷺ‬once said to us, 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry,
should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes
his sexual power’’
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5065In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith (English) reference : Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 3 )
LIFE AND LIVING
Kafa’ah in the Qur’an and Hadees
A hadis of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reads:
‫الناس سواسية بكل سنان الشط ال فضل لعربى على عجمى امنا الفضل بالتقوى‬
All mankind essentially is the same/equal like the spokes of a comb; the Arabs are
not superior to the ‘Ajam (non-Arab people). Any superiority among them is only
due to their piety.”
‫ فزوجوه إال تفعلوا تكن‬،‫" إذا اتاكم من ترضون خلقه ودينه‬:‫قال رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم‬
."‫فتنة في االرض وفساد عريض‬
LIFE AND LIVING
Allah says in the Holy Qur’an;
َ ‫س ًۭبا َو ِص ْه ًۭرا ۗ َو َك‬
)54:‫ان َربُّ َك قَ ِد ًۭيرا ۔(الفرقان‬
َ َ‫َو ُه َو ٱلَّ ِذى َخل‬
َ َ‫ق ِم َن ٱ ْل َما ِٓء بَش ًَۭرا فَ َجعَلَهُۥ ن‬
‘’And He it is who out of this [very] water has created man, and has
endowed him with [the consciousness of] descent and marriage-tie: for thy
Sustainer is ever infinite in His power’‫۔‬
LIFE AND LIVING
Continued…..
Allah also says:
۟ ُ‫ِين فُ ِضل‬
ٍۢ ‫علَ ٰى بَ ْع‬
َ ََُ ْْ َ‫ٱَّلل ي‬
َ ‫ق ۚ فَ َما ٱلهذ‬
َ ‫ض َل بَ ْع‬
‫ٱَّللُ فَ ه‬
َ‫ُو‬
َ ‫وا ِب َرا ِدِّ ِِ ْزِِ ِِ ْم‬
َ ‫ض ُك ْم‬
ِ ‫س َوادٌ ۚ أَفَ ِِنِ ْع َم ِِ ه‬
َ ‫علَ ٰى ََا ََلَكَْْ أ َ ْي َمنُ ُِ ْم فَ ُِ ْم فِي ِه‬
‫َو ه‬
ِ ‫ض فِى‬
ِ ‫ٱلر ْز‬
)71:‫۔(النَل‬
‘’And on some of you God has bestowed more abundant means of sustenance than on others: and yet,
they who are more abundantly favored are [often] unwilling to share their sustenance with those whom
their right hands possess, so that they [all] might be equal in this respect. Will they, then, God's
blessings [thus] deny’’
LIFE AND LIVING
Among them, there are those who have advantages over the others in terms of
knowledge (intellectual ability), as Allah says:
۟ ‫ش ُز‬
۟ ‫ش ُز‬
۟ ‫س ُح‬
۟ ‫س ُح‬
۟ ‫يََٓأَيُّ َها ٱلَّذِينَ َءا َمنُ َٓو‬
ْ
ْ
ْ
َ
ُ
َ
َ
ُ ‫وا فَٱن‬
ُ ‫ٱَّللُ لَ ُك ْم ۖ َو ِإذَا قِي َل ٱن‬
َ
َّ ‫وا يَ ْرفَ ِع‬
َّ ‫ح‬
َ
‫س‬
‫ف‬
‫ي‬
‫وا‬
‫ف‬
‫ٱ‬
‫ف‬
‫س‬
‫ل‬
‫ج‬
‫م‬
‫ٱل‬
‫ى‬
‫ف‬
‫وا‬
‫ف‬
‫ت‬
‫م‬
‫ك‬
‫ل‬
‫ل‬
‫ي‬
‫ق‬
‫ا‬
‫ذ‬
‫إ‬
‫ا‬
َ
َّ
ِ
ِ
ِ
ُ‫ٱَّلل‬
َ
ِ
َ
َ
َ
ْ
َ
ِ
ِ
۟ ُ ‫وا ِمن ُك ْم َوٱلَّذِينَ أُوت‬
۟ ُ‫ٱلَّذِينَ َءا َمن‬
َّ ‫وا ْٱل ِع ْل َم دَ َر َج ٍۢت ۚ َو‬
‫ير‬
ٌ ‫ٱَّللُ ِب َما تَ ْع َملُونَ َخ ِب‬
‘’O ye who believe! When ye are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out
and) make room: (ample) room will Allah provide for you. And when ye are told
to rise up, rise up Allah will rise up, to (suitable) ranks (and degrees), those of you
who believe and who have been granted (mystic) Knowledge. And Allah is wellacquainted with all ye do’’ (Quran58:11,Ali , 1985)
(Nur, 2014,KAFA’AH IN ISLAM Towards a Progressive Interpretation)
LIFE AND LIVING
Selection criteria for the Husband
It is stated that the doctrine of kafa'ah (equality) in the Muslim law of marriage. This is done in the
belief that, no criterion is more indicative of social stratification among a group than that of whom they
consider equal to, and therefore, marrying their daughters.
The first constituent of kafa'ah is lineage
The second constituent, i.e. "Islam," or rather how long a person's family has been Muslim.
The third constituent of kafa'ah is freedom.
The fourth constituent is din or piety which includes moral conduct and hasab.
The fifth constituent is mall’
The sixth and final constituent is trade or calling (hirfah).
(J. Ziadeh, 1957, Equality (Kafā'ah) in the Muslim Law of Marriage, Vol. 6, No. 4.pp 510-513)
LIFE AND LIVING
Selection criteria for the Husband
Islam directs the family of a woman to find a religious man having good character:
ْ ‫ببو َن ِدينَبببهُ َو ُخلُ َبببهُ فَ َ ِو ُجبببوهُ ِإالَّ َ َ ْفعَلُبببوا َ َ ُكب‬
ْ ‫ببإ ِإلَببب ْي ُك ْْ َمب‬
َ ‫ببن َ َ ْر‬
‫سبببا رد‬
َ َ‫ببن ِفَْنَبببَر ِفببب ا َ ْر ِ َوف‬
ْ ‫يب‬
َ ‫" ِإ َذا َخ َطب‬
)1084:‫"(سنن َرمذی‬. ‫ع َِري ر‬
“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes, then marry him.
If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) on earth and corruption (Fasād).”
ُ ‫ي ا ْ َ ِم‬
.]26 :‫ين" [القصص‬
ْ ‫" ِإ َّن َخ ْي َر َم ِن ا‬
ُّ ‫سََأ ْ َج ْرتَ ا ْل َ ِو‬
“Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy.
LIFE AND LIVING
Selection criteria for the wife
The Prophet (peace be upon him) recommends a man marrying a religious woman and prefers her
religion over wealth, family status, and beauty for healthy marriage relationships;
َّ ‫عبَ ْي ِد‬
‫ع ْن أَ ِبي ُه َري َْرةَ رضی هللا‬
ُ ‫ع ْن‬
َ ،‫ع ْن أَ ِبي ِه‬
َ ،‫س ِعيد‬
َ ،‫ َحدَّثَنَا يَ ْحيَى‬،ٌ‫سدَّد‬
َ ‫س ِعيدُ ب ُْن أَ ِبي‬
َ ‫ قَا َل َحدَّثَ ِني‬،ِ‫َّللا‬
َ ‫َحدَّثَنَا ُم‬
ْ َ‫ ف‬،‫س ِب َها َو َج َما ِل َها َو ِلدِينِ َها‬
‫اظفَ ْر‬
َ ‫عنه ـ‬
َ ‫ ِل َما ِل َها َو ِل َح‬: ‫ع ِن النَّ ِبي ِ صلى هللا عليه وسلم قَا َل " ت ُ ْن َك ُح ْال َم ْرأَة ُ أل َ ْربَع‬
ْ َ‫ِين تَ ِرب‬
." ‫اك‬
ِ ‫ِبذَا‬
َ َ‫ت يَد‬
ِ ‫ت الد‬
‘’The Prophet ‫ﷺ‬said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her
family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious
woman (otherwise) you will be a losers’’(Bukhari, 5090)
LIFE AND LIVING
Advantages of Islamic Selection Methodology
The earlier criteria as mentions in previous slides ,is this the law of shariah.
It is the most appropriate and reasonable way, in respecting the persons integrity
and honors of both partners .
This criteria is the best way to develop happy and peaceful relationships in a
family.
Correct information about both the parties can also be obtained from a trustworthy
persons.
Moreover , marriage is a serious matter and a life long partnership . It should not
be settled in the dark.
(kitabun nikah,ibrahim palanpuri,2008,p26)
LIFE AND LIVING
Summary
Islam pays close attention to assigning important roles in life to each family while
building strong families, protecting them from potential injuries, and maintaining
family ties. Islam respects women as mothers, daughters, or sisters. It also
encourages marriage and prohibits the free mixing of men and women in order to
protect honor, chastity, purity and family roots. It gives each family an important
role. So fathers and mothers take care of their children and give them Islamic
education. Children must listen to, follow and respect the rights of fathers and
mothers at the heart of love and respect.
LIFE AND LIVING
References
Sahih al-Bukhari 5065In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith (English) reference : Vol. 7,
Book 62, Hadith 3
Nur, 2014,KAFA’AH IN ISLAM Towards a Progressive Interpretation
J. Ziadeh, 1957, Equality (Kafā'ah) in the Muslim Law of Marriage, Vol. 6, No. 4.pp
510-513 (kitabun nikah,ibrahim palanpuri,2008,p26
LIFE AND LIVING