A Separate Peace Essay
by Enerel Gankhuyag
Submission date: 07-Nov-2023 10:13PM (UTC-0700)
Submission ID: 2221415079
File name: Enerel_Gankhuyag_-_ASP_ESSAY_-_COMPOSE_HERE.pdf (72.05K)
Word count: 779
Character count: 3453
MLA-title
indent the first word of a new paragraph
contraction
who
tells the story of two young men going to a boarding school
during a World War.
Gene and
Finny hold
similar views
who
of ____________,
yet differ in
their response
who
to ____________;
2
ultimately,
both find
peace.
while Finny does not.
Find and show
evidence of how
Analysis
Analysis
Gene
Analysis
4
Analysis
Gene is jealous while Finny is not.
Context?!
Analysis
Finny's warmth and kindness . . .
Finny's flexiblity here shows
Verb Tense
use the same sized font as the rest.
A Separate Peace Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE
58
GENERAL COMMENTS
/80
PAGE 1
QM
MLA-title
Your work should be titled. It should be centered and properly spaced; Captial Letters. DO
NOT underline, bold, etc. DO NOT name YOUR paper with the same name as the work!
Text Comment. tells the story of two young men going to a boarding school during a
World War.
Text Comment. indent the first word of a new paragraph
Text Comment. Gene and Finny hold similar views of ____________, yet differ in their
response to ____________; ultimately, both find peace.
Strikethrough.
Text Comment. who
QM
contraction
Do not use contractions in a formal paper.
Text Comment. who
Text Comment. who
Comment 2
You could use the Comparison/Contrast thesis statement that I offered.
Text Comment. while Finny does not.
Strikethrough.
Text Comment. Find and show evidence of how Gene
QM
Analysis
Tie this analysis back to a FEATURE of the quotation you offer! (This startling image; Here,
the author's animalistic diction; the sarcastic tone, etc) Be sure this sentence or section does
not simply restate or paraphrase the quotation. Use a capture phrase or fetch word. Be sure you
are not simply summarizing, paraphrasing, or restating the quotation you offered.
QM
Analysis
Tie this analysis back to a FEATURE of the quotation you offer! (This startling image; Here,
the author's animalistic diction; the sarcastic tone, etc) Be sure this sentence or section does
not simply restate or paraphrase the quotation. Use a capture phrase or fetch word. Be sure you
are not simply summarizing, paraphrasing, or restating the quotation you offered.
PAGE 2
QM
Analysis
Tie this analysis back to a FEATURE of the quotation you offer! (This startling image; Here,
the author's animalistic diction; the sarcastic tone, etc) Be sure this sentence or section does
not simply restate or paraphrase the quotation. Use a capture phrase or fetch word. Be sure you
are not simply summarizing, paraphrasing, or restating the quotation you offered.
QM
Analysis
Tie this analysis back to a FEATURE of the quotation you offer! (This startling image; Here,
the author's animalistic diction; the sarcastic tone, etc) Be sure this sentence or section does
not simply restate or paraphrase the quotation. Use a capture phrase or fetch word. Be sure you
are not simply summarizing, paraphrasing, or restating the quotation you offered.
Comment 4
Instead, Create a "mini - thesis" a statement of your argument. Gene is a very jealous person
while Finny does not appear to be.
Text Comment. Gene is jealous while Finny is not.
QM
Context?!
Always provide enough context for the reader BEFORE the quotation. When does the quote
occur? What is happening in the text? Who is speaking? To whom? etc. Use context to prepare the
reader for the evidence you will present so they can anticipate HOW it ties into your thesis.
QM
Analysis
Tie this analysis back to a FEATURE of the quotation you offer! (This startling image; Here,
the author's animalistic diction; the sarcastic tone, etc) Be sure this sentence or section does
not simply restate or paraphrase the quotation. Use a capture phrase or fetch word. Be sure you
are not simply summarizing, paraphrasing, or restating the quotation you offered.
Text Comment. Finny's warmth and kindness . . .
Text Comment. Finny's flexiblity here shows
PAGE 3
QM
Verb Tense
Verb Tense must be consistent. Literature is discussed in the PRESENT TENSE.
PAGE 4
Text Comment. use the same sized font as the rest.
RUBRIC: CC-2 BPS, CONC+ WC V2_COPY
55.50 / 80
INTRODUCTION
3.75 / 5
A+
(5)
-Interesting opening -Provides title and author -Provides background information
that is not only relevant, but prepares reader for thesis. -Organization-broad to
narrow (thesis)
A
(4.75)
-Interesting opening -Provides title and author -Provides background information
that is not only relevant, but prepares reader for thesis. -Organization-broad to
narrow (thesis)
A(4.50)
-Interesting opening -Provides title and author -Provides background information
that is not only relevant, but prepares reader for thesis. -Organization-broad to
narrow (thesis)
B
(4.25)
-Provides title and author -Provides background information about the work that is
relevant to essay -Organized as per instructions
B(4)
C
(3.75)
-Provides title and author -Provides background information about the work
C(3.50)
D
(3.25)
-Provides title and author -Irrelevant background information -Thesis may be in
the wrong place
D(3)
F (50%)
(2.50)
-Missing title and /or author -Little or no background information
F (25%)
(1.25)
F (0%)
(0)
THESIS
3.25 / 5
A+
(5)
-Superior compare/contrast thesis -Directly addresses assigned prompt/subject or
topic -Clear outline to essay and its arguments -Uses carefully-chosen diction Active verb
A
(4.75)
-Superior compare/contrast thesis -Directly addresses assigned prompt/subject or
topic -Clear outline to essay and its arguments -Uses carefully-chosen diction Active verb
A(4.50)
-Superior compare/contrast thesis -Directly addresses assigned prompt/subject or
topic -Clear outline to essay and its arguments -Uses carefully-chosen diction Active verb
B
(4.25)
-Interesting and clearly-stated compare/contrast thesis -Addresses prompt/topic outlines essay and its arguments
B(4)
C
(3.75)
-Vague compare/contrast thesis -could use revision for clarity or force -may not
give a clear idea of essay’s organization or arguments
C(3.50)
D
(3.25)
-Thesis does not indicate either C/C relationship or theme -Does not directly
address prompt or is slightly tangential (off assigned topic)
D(3)
F (50%)
(2.50)
-Lacks a clear thesis -Does not address assigned topic or prompt
F (25%)
(1.25)
F (0%)
(0)
BODY P 1
13 / 20
A+
(20)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
A
(19)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
A(18)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
B
(17)
-Topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis -Organization
of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Relevant context for chosen evidence,
but may be slightly insufficient -Paragraphs include at least 4 highly-relevant
pieces of evidence -Analysis relates back to a feature of the quotation/evidence Reasonable analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Progresses through ideas with minimal disruptions -Concluding sentence sums
up the main argument and relates to thesis.
B(16)
C
(15)
-Includes a compare/contrast topic sentence -Organization of paragraph reflects
the assigned model -Context is present, but irrelevant -Paragraphs include at
least 4 pieces of evidence -Includes some analysis of evidence and/or -Evidence is
related back to topic sentence and thesis -Analysis may be superficial or
somewhat obvious -Includes some choppy or awkward transitions -Includes a
concluding sentence that reiterates main ideas of the paragraph
C(14)
D
(13)
-Topic sentence may be unclear or need revision -Subject of paragraph may not
address prompt or reflect assignment requirements. -Organization of paragraph
resembles model, but may need revision or reorganization -insufficient and
irrelevant context for chosen quotes -Paragraph includes all 4 required
quotations, but quotations are poorly-chosen, or may rely on some summary or
paraphrase -Analysis is thin, missing in some areas, or is not related back to topic
sentence and or thesis -Missing transitions
D(12)
F (50%)
(10)
F (25%)
(5)
F (0%)
(0)
-Topic sentence /subject of the paragraph is unrelated to thesis or does not meet
assignment specifications or requirements -Missing context -Does not meet
minimum requirements for quotations (4 per paragraph) -irrelevant or
unacceptable evidence -Relies on plot summary or mere observation -Concluding
sentence is missing or does not relate to topic sentence or thesis
BODY P 2
13 / 20
A+
(20)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
A
(19)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
A(18)
-Strong topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis using
strong verbs -Organization of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Sufficient
and relevant context for chosen evidence -Paragraphs include at least 4 wellchosen pieces of evidence -Uses “Fetch Words” and “Capture Phrases” to refer
back to a feature of the evidence/quotation -Sees complexity and irony -Sufficient,
persuasive analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Smooth internal and external transitions -Concluding sentence sums up the main
argument of the paragraph in an interesting and compelling way and relates to
thesis.
B
(17)
-Topic sentence identifies compare or contrast and relates to thesis -Organization
of paragraph reflects the assigned model -Relevant context for chosen evidence,
but may be slightly insufficient -Paragraphs include at least 4 highly-relevant
pieces of evidence -Analysis relates back to a feature of the quotation/evidence Reasonable analysis -Clearly and consistently connects evidence to the point. Progresses through ideas with minimal disruptions -Concluding sentence sums
up the main argument and relates to thesis.
B(16)
C
(15)
C(14)
-Includes a compare/contrast topic sentence -Organization of paragraph reflects
the assigned model -Context is present, but irrelevant -Paragraphs include at
least 4 pieces of evidence -Includes some analysis of evidence and/or -Evidence is
related back to topic sentence and thesis -Analysis may be superficial or
somewhat obvious -Includes some choppy or awkward transitions -Includes a
concluding sentence that reiterates main ideas of the paragraph
D
(13)
-Topic sentence may be unclear or need revision -Subject of paragraph may not
address prompt or reflect assignment requirements. -Organization of paragraph
resembles model, but may need revision or reorganization -insufficient and
irrelevant context for chosen quotes -Paragraph includes all 4 required
quotations, but quotations are poorly-chosen, or may rely on some summary or
paraphrase -Analysis is thin, missing in some areas, or is not related back to topic
sentence and or thesis -Missing transitions
D(12)
F (50%)
(10)
-Topic sentence /subject of the paragraph is unrelated to thesis or does not meet
assignment specifications or requirements -Missing context -Does not meet
minimum requirements for quotations (4 per paragraph) -irrelevant or
unacceptable evidence -Relies on plot summary or mere observation -Concluding
sentence is missing or does not relate to topic sentence or thesis
F (25%)
(5)
F (0%)
(0)
WORKS CITED
A+
(5)
4/5
-Perfect: includes first publication and re-publication dates
A
(4.75)
A(4.50)
B
(4.25)
-Includes 1 minor error
B(4)
C
(3.75)
-Includes 2 minor errors
C(3.50)
D
(3.25)
-Indicates failure to verify MLA format, necessary citation information, etc.
D(3)
F (50%)
(2.50)
-Extensive information, formatting and research flaws.
F (25%)
(1.25)
F (0%)
(0)
MLA/MECHANICS
A+
(20)
14 / 20
-sophisticated, collegiate diction -appropriate literary terminology -verb power simple, compound, and complex sentences -linguistic nuance and variety -clear,
active, engaging voice uses present tense-virtually no mechanical/grammatical
errors -high degree of craftsmanship -evidence of writing process -evidence of
editing/conference/revision -proofreading -clarity -Few or no mechanical errors
are present. -Quotations are attached to your sentences without creating any
grammatical problems. -Transitions guide the reader through your essay Maintains 1st person POV. -MLA is applied correctly throughout. *Avoids all 3
strikes errors
A
(19)
A(18)
B
(17)
-sophisticated diction -correct literary terminology -attention to verb choice -varied
sentences -linguistic variety -consistent present tense -only 1 or 2 mechanical or
grammatical errors -evidence of editing and revision -proofreading -Mechanical
errors are minimal at most. -Quotations are attached to your sentences without
creating any grammatical problems. -Transitions are used. -Correct point of view
is used throughout. -MLA is applied with no errors. *Avoids all 3 strikes errors
B(16)
C
(15)
-generally appropriate diction -correct but limited literary terminology -over
reliance on linking verbs -varied, but some repetitiveness in sentence structure uses present tense -generally free of mechanical and grammatical errors evidence of writing process -evidence of editing and revision -proofreading Mechanical errors are present, but do not impede understanding of the essay Quotes included within your sentences create awkward or grammatically incorrect
constructions -Transitions are awkward or missing. - 1st or 2nd person point of
view is used. - MLA is applied with a few minor errors *Avoids 3 strikes errors
C(14)
D
(13)
-limited word choice -limited or no literary terminology -imprecise words -little
sentence variation -inconsistent Verb Tense or consistent use of past tense -Many
distracting mechanical and grammatical errors -severe flaws -revision does not
respond to feedback -multiple formatting flaws -Mechanical errors impede
understanding of the paragraph. -1st or 2nd person point of view is used
repeatedly. -Multiple MLA mistakes are present.
D(12)
F (50%)
(10)
3 or more 3 Strikes Errors including: -Incorrect or missing parenthetical citations Missing Works Cited sheet -Incorrect or missing punctuation of titles -Misspelled
names (authors or characters) and titles -Quotes left to stand alone without being
included in your own sentences (also known as hanging quotes or un-embedded
quotes) -Typing errors that could be caught and corrected by running spell check
or proofreading -Use of any and all symbols, abbreviations, and texting shorthand
F (25%)
(5)
F (0%)
(0)
CONCLUSION
A+
(5)
A
(4.75)
A(4.50)
B
(4.25)
B(4)
C
(3.75)
C(3.50)
D
(3.25)
D(3)
F (50%)
(2.50)
F (25%)
(1.25)
F (0%)
(0)
4.50 / 5
The Conclusion extends the reader's thinking about the essay. Concludes with a
general statement that connects the to the world and all human beings.