The Dating Book for MEN (v4)
David Dawn
Contents
Who is this book for ....................................................................... 1
Who should delete this book at once .............................................. 2
Why Reddit dating advice sucks ...................................................... 3
Incompetence ................................................................................ 3
Generic non-helpful advice ............................................................ 4
Why this book is better than generic Reddit advice? .................... 7
What am I going to learn in this book?............................................ 8
Do looks/height matter? ................................................................ 9
Where to meet girls in real life ..................................................... 10
How to approach girls you find attractive ..................................... 11
How to flirt/what to talk about .................................................... 13
Putting it all together ................................................................... 15
How to get her number/contact ................................................... 16
How to get her on a date .............................................................. 18
Becoming more attractive ............................................................ 19
How to get dates from dating apps ............................................... 21
How to create a successful profile ............................................... 21
What should I write in my bio? .................................................... 22
What should I text her? ............................................................... 23
How should my messages look like? ............................................ 24
How to turn your match into an actual date................................ 25
Conclusion ................................................................................... 27
Who is this book for
This book is for men who want to improve their dating lives - this
means men who want to get more dates, get that one special girl
they like or just learn how to talk to girls.
It’s written for men who WANT (not wish) to make their dating lives
better.
It’s for guys who are ready to say “fuck it, I will do whatever it takes
to improve this area of my life”
And most of all.. this book is for men who are OPEN MINDED about
trying out new ideas!
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Who should delete this book at once
If you are stuck in victim mentality and don’t want to take
responsibility for your own personal happiness and blame your
shortcomings on external factors such as your height, looks, age,
race, society, women, wealth etc...
If you want to rant how dating apps are all about looks and don’t
work for regular guys...
If your GO-TO answer to all dating advice/questions is...
 “A lot of this is horrible advice for many people. Might work for
some, but totally inappropriate for others. Be yourself, for
goodness sake!” – there are such things as patterns in human
behaviour u know..
 “DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS GUY. He is a pickup artist that preys on
insecure incels and spreads lies.” – learning how to flirt and
meet women doesn’t make you into a pickup artist.
 “men and women are both human beings - just treat girls like
guys and then everything will work out” – Because you TOTALLY
flirt with your male friends all the time, right..
 “if she doesn’t just drop on her knees and suck your cock on the
first date then move on” – well.. a bit exaggerated example but
something in that vein...
...then DELETE THIS BOOK! – I CAN help people who WANT to help
themselves.. I CAN’T help whiners and virtue signallers.
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Why Reddit dating advice sucks
So, I have been on Reddit for a long long time and every time I read
something from the mainstream dating advice subs I just want to
laugh and cry at the same time...
I want you to really understand WHY Reddit dating advice sucks and
why, by following it, you will never get better or improve your
outlook in getting a girlfriend.
Incompetence
You see, as I assume you have already figured out, most of the advice
given on these subs is like a blind man leading a blind man.
People who have girlfriends or are dating a lot don’t hang out at
dating subs asking run of the mill generic questions every day
thinking somehow that their situation is super special and somehow
different from all the other millions of posts with similar problems.
I am not saying it’s wrong to ask questions – it’s absolutely great to
ask them but the problem arises when the same people asking these
questions are the ones who are giving out advice on other people’s
posts.
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Generic non-helpful advice
The other big reason why Reddit advice sucks is well.. because it
doesn’t actually help you.
Most of the advice given or replies to specific, actionable advice,
sounds something like this:
1.”If she doesn’t like xyz about you then let her go – she must like
you for who you are”
Great advice actually – but it isn’t that simple. If you actually ARE a
toxic cave troll and all the girls flee from you then maybe.. just
MAYBE.. it is YOU who should either do a bit of soul searching or just
learn how to communicate yourself better – which this book is all
about.
2.”Tell her how you feel – talk about your hobbies and see if there is
chemistry or not, be a gentelman, don’t rush.”
Well.. let’s be honest here – beautiful girls get guys running after
them/messaging them 24/7. Do you REALLY think that she gives a fck
about what every guys hobbies are? Better question – do you think
she has TIME to actually learn to know every guy? Attraction and
having some random common hobbie are completely different
things.
Also.. how the fck do you know if there is chemistry if you don’t know
how to read the signs? Cause let me tell you.. a lot of guys interpret
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“being a friend” signs as “she gives me attention, maybe she likes
me” signs.
Be a gentelman and don’t rush? Most guys searching dating advice
on Reddit aren’t some ultra confident chads who just go in there and
take the girl – mostly dudes on Reddit are the shy type who don’t
want to get rejected/embarrassed and are afraid to make the first
move. If you advise shy guys to don’t rush and be a “gentelman” then
these shy guys become the most asexual creatures in the garden of
Eden. You HAVE to make a move and be sexual at one point and no..
it’s not after knowing her for weeks/months/years.
3.”Just treat women like normal human beings and perhaps then
you will find someone”
What is a “normal human being”? If by under it you mean treat girls
you are attracted to the same way you would treat your grandpa or
brother then good luck – unless you like flirting with your family
members you can’t treat girls you want to get with the same way you
treat everybody else.
You get these replies when you try to give specific advice on how to
behave in a social situation to communicate your desires and
intentions more clearly or when trying to move the social interaction
with girls further/to sexual levels etc.. which leads us to the next
point..
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4.”OMG, this is some PUA/ MWGTOW/ INCEL/ RED-BLUE-BLACKPINK-ORANGE PILL women hating, manipulative scam artist advice.
Eww.. growss.. plz kill yourself.”
I’m not even joking with the “plz kill yourself” part – I have gotten
these types of replies more times than you can imagine for trying to
help people.
This, like the last point, is the type of reply you get when someone
tries to give some real, ACTUAL advice that could be applied in a
specific social situation.
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Why this book is better than generic Reddit advice?
 The advice is better because it has been field tested for
thousands of times (by me and countless other men) and the
underlying core social dynamics principles remain the same
(even if your “style” might differ from person to person).
 As you have experienced, the generic Reddit dating sub’s - “just
be yourself” and “work on yourself and women will come”
advice isn’t exactly the most groundbreaking and helpful.
 It gives you specific step by step social “tools” for interacting
with desirable women.
 It gives you a better understanding about how all interactions
between people work.
 You will have way more and faster success with women than
following generic Reddit advice (most of it isn’t even advice
there but some rant from bitter people)
 Trying to learn new skills can be fun as FUCK!
The advice I’ll be sharing with you is the result of going out for 14+
years.. practicing core principles and learning how social dynamics
ACTUALLY works.. not how we WISH it would work.
I am certain that by the time you have finished reading this book it
will blow away any advice you have gotten from mainstream dating
subs by a LONG SHOT!
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What am I going to learn in this book?
Instead of “just be confident, bro” I am going to teach you:
1. Do looks/height matter?
2. Where to meet girls in real life
3. How to approach girls you find attractive
4. How to flirt/what to talk about (no memorized lines needed)
5. How to get her number/contact
6. How to get her on a date
7. How to become more attractive to women in general
8. How to get dates from dating apps
Sounds cool? Ok, let’s get started.. shall we..
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Do looks/height matter?
Ok, let’s get this badboy out of the way – the number one question
and point of argument everybody is always yelling about on Reddit –
do looks matter, do height matter?
OF COURSE THEY MATTER! However...not as much as you think!
Women aren’t blind (well.. some of them are.. as in.. legally blind..) –
they like the tall, fit guy with King Arthur’s jawline as much as you like
a fit girl with big boobs and nice ass.
However, women are MORE attracted to personality rather than
looks (this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make yourself as
presentable as possible).
Women care more about how the guy makes them feel. What type of
emotions he can make her experience. Is he more of a leader or a
follower, does he have life goals, personal boundaries etc.
So let’s say you aren’t 6 feet tall, you aren’t the most pleasent to look
at.. my next question to you is – OK, WHAT NOW? Will you cry about
it or will you say “fck it, it is what it is.. I can still get more girls by
learning how to approach and flirt compared to doing Jack and Shit”.
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Where to meet girls in real life
Well.. this is simple – EVERYWHERE YOU GO!
Contrary to popular belief in Reddit dating subs – approaching
women you don’t know ISN’T creepy. What IS creepy is approaching
them while being socially uncalibrated.
You can approach women on the streets, in shops, at events, in clubs,
bars, pubs – basically everywhere.
I would only suggest against trying to pick up girls at your work place
– it’s easy to get a bad reputation there especially when you are a
beginner and fck up a lot.
Later, when you are more seasoned.. well.. then you already know
how to go about these kind of environments and if you want or not
to approach there.
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How to approach girls you find
attractive
So, you see a girl you like? Good..
IMMEDIATELY start walking towards her before you can even think
about anything. If you have nothing to say then just say "hi". Great,
you have already won - you approached and gave yourself a chance!
If you start thinking what to say and who is she here with you will
mindfck yourself into anxiety and will pussy out.
Even if you DO get the courage to walk up, after thinking for couple
of minutes what to say, you will perform way worse due to the
fear/anxiety that has accumulated in you, because you have put so
much importance on getting it „right“ that no matter what you say, it
will still not be good enough for you and you start chasing her
approval to see if the stuff you said to her was great or not.
Woah.. now THAT was a long sentence :D
No girl has ever said – „I really liked the guy but his opener was so
bad.. I just can’t see myself with him.“ Neither has any girl ever said –
„you know.. he was boring as fck and really unattractive.. but that
opener.. fck it was good.. I think I shall fuck him just because of his
opener.“
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THE OPENER DOESN’T MATTER!
What matters is how you calibrate AFTER you have started talking to
her.
After you say „hi“ or whatever to her take something out of the
environment to make a comment about - it can be her clothes, shoes,
music that is playing in the background, random funny comment
about something that comes up in your head etc.
The idea is to just have "something" to say - it doesn't have to be
clever or awesome or anything. It's not important WHAT you say but
HOW you say it. The idea is to convey your personality through
intonation, body language, humor.
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How to flirt/what to talk about
There are TWO social concepts that are the CORNER STONES of
flirting and having the ability to always have something to talk about:
FLIRTING
Flirting is nothing more than playfully teasing the girl and trying to
figure out what type of humor and little quirks she has and then
teasing her about those quirks (lightheartedly, never be mean).
It’s busting her "balls" as you would with your best buddies but a bit
softer and having a “double meaning” behind the words that could
be interpreted as being a sexual comment. Flirting is all about
creating sexual tension, holding it and knowing when to release it to
not scare her away – like holding eye contact for a few seconds
longer than is comfortable.
There is no one better in teaching how to build sexual tension than
Kate Spring in her “Obsession Method“ program. I know her sales
video looks cheesy and promises the world but the actual content of
her program is literally WORLD CLASS and helped me kill that "friends
only" vibe with women.
Out of all the courses I have read, hers is my favorite because it
helped me a lot with my inability of getting physical with girls and I
also learned a ton about flirting in general (my verbals used to suck,
lol).
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IMPROVISATION
Improvisation is when someone says a word and (without filtering)
couple of memories/thoughts regarding this word pop up in your
head - these are all topics you can talk about next.
She says something new and again - couple of different things pop up
in your head regarding that word. The idea is to not filter these
thoughts, not judge them if they are cool enough to say or not remember - it's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it.
For example, you ask her where she is coming from and she answers
that she just came from school.
Now, with the word „school“ my mind pops up with memories of
„being bullied at school, the one time I colored my hair black
randomly when coming home from school, how I hated the long
days, when I was playing snow war after the classes ended when I
was a kid“ etc.
You see.. there are already 4 things/topics I could continue the
conversation with. I will pick the on that creates the most enthusiasm
in me/makes me laugh.
I would continue with „oh school, damn.. I remember one time I
came back from school and decided to dye my hair black.. cause why
not.. I looked like a little emo kid even though I listened to DnB my
whole high school time. I bet there is a little emo girl in you though..“
(all this delivered with enthusiasm, opened body language, smiles
and ending with a little tease).
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Putting it all together
So - You basically open with "hi" or whatever pops up in your head,
then follow with observational comment about the environment, use
the improvisation concept and flirt.
In-between all of this you talk like a "normal" person.. ask her name,
what she does, is she studying, what why blablabla..etc.
Basically the boring stuff that she has heard million times before BUT
the difference being that you sprinkle that conversation with flirting
and improvisation.
The glue that makes it all work is your humor/ essence/ intonation/
looks etc. This will make the interaction "your own" and unique
through which she can experience what kind of person you are.
You are sharing stuff about your life, your sense of humor, you are
showing through flirting that you like her and you are leading the
interaction.
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How to get her number/contact
If the interaction is going well and she is laughing etc then say
something like "you are pretty interesting/cool/fun, I have this
awesome youtube video/song/meme that I think you'd really like.
What's your social media handle?".
Doing it this way gives her a „reason“ to share her contact with you.
Women often times have „alarm bells“ going off in their heads when
giving out contact info to strangers. Girls might feel that they are
„too easy“ and even if they do end up giving you the info.. there isn’t
any real „reason“ for her to answer your friend request/messages.
After all.. you were just another random guy who she talked to –
even if she felt great to meet you at that point her mood might
change during the time she gets home and she just doesn’t want to
interact with you any more.
So.. by giving her a „reason“ to share her contact info with you, you
will make the probability of her accepting your request/messages
that much higher.
Also, asking social media is better than asking phone numbers imo –
this way she can see your profile and learn even more about you to
get a stronger understanding of who you are.
If you happen to have a mutual friend on facebook then it’s even
better as it gives her more comfort knowing that you ain’t some axe
murderer.
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After asking for number/social contact just carry on talking for a few
minutes before leaving. This way it doesn’t look like the
number/contact info was all you were after and it doesn’t put such a
big „weight“ on her sharing it with you.
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How to get her on a date
If you want to set up a date via texting then read the chapter (later
on in the book) where I talk about how to turn your match into an
actual date.
Sometimes the girl is doing nothing or has free time when you
approach her – in that case you can „take her on a date“ right then
and there.
Ask her what she is up to and if she tells you she is just hanging out or
doing something that implies that she is not in a hurry you could ask
her to go to the coffee place close by to sit down for a bit.
Other options would be to go get an ice cream, sit down in the park
and get couple of drinks etc.
This advice mostly applies when meeting girls during day time. If you
approach her in the club/bar then you can say something like „let’s
grab a drink and sit on that couch“.
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Becoming more attractive
The problem with most men is that when they are around attractive
women they feel the NEED to gain their approval by being overly
nice, courteous, asking tons of questions, agreeing with everything
she says etc... This puts her on a pedestal. She KNOWS that her
opinions and well-being is more important to you than your own and
thus.. you value yourself LESS than her.
No girl wants to “date down” aka.. date a guy who values himself less
than her. So.. by trying to please her you are actually KILLING her
interest towards you.
The best way to spark that fire of attraction is to make her work for
YOUR attention rather than the other way around. This will
unbalance her cool and aloof approach to you simply because you
are doing something so unexpected and out of the ordinary she will
be hard pressed not to at least be curious about you.
If you want to learn how to make her work for your attention then I
would suggest Friends with Benefits program by Mike Haines - it
teaches men how to get girls chasing you (flip the “power dynamics”)
and get the girls you like that never pay any attention to you
(warning – FwB program is more geared towards casual
relationships).
This system is also great for guys who always land in the “friend
zone”, are afraid of looking “creepy” or suffer the “nice guy”
syndrome. The sales page, as always with dating products, looks
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spammy and over promises but the advice in his manual really works
and the social dynamics principles behind it are rock solid so I highly
recommend it!
Anyways.. The more you appear like you don’t need the girl’s
approval, the more confident you will appear and confidence is very
attractive to both women and men.
However, remember that there is a fine line between confidence and
arrogance. Never be arrogant with anybody as nobody likes assholes!
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How to get dates from dating apps
How to create a successful profile
Get couple of good pics (3-4) of yourself, don't look depressed on the
pic, make sure the quality is good (not too dark, hazy, brigth, mirror
shots, selfies). Chose your angles - let your friend/mom/dog take
multiple pics of you and pick the ones that make you look the best.
Also, don't put up 4 photos of you in the same environment wearing
the same clothes.
Put up one picture with your friends (helps if there are some girls in
your friends group) but I would advice against putting up a pic where
it is just you and one girl as that creates confusion as in.. is that his ex
gf/ active gf.. is he cheating etc..
Then one picture would be good where you are dealing with some
hobby but where your face is still seen (not some far away dark pic
where you see a guy but no way knowing if it is you).
One picture where your whole body is seen – not some against the
wall serious type of picture, rather something taken when you
weren’t even aware you were photographed.
And also one picture where your face is the main focus but not
passport picture – again, some picture where you were „doing your
own thing“ and not even looking at the camera is the best (think of
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fashion models who look a bit to the side – women love to watch
guys from afar IRL and get a dynamic sense of your face).
Variety is important!
If you are not sure how good your pictures are then I recommend
making an account on photofeeler. You can create a free acc and
then earn karma by voting on other people pics so they would vote
on yours. It’s the most accurate service I know if you want to see how
well your photo would do on a dating app/site.
What should I write in my bio?
I would suggest writing something rather short an funny. No more
than couple of sentences.
Nobody gives a fck about your long ass essays on what you search in
a woman, what your principles are, how life has treated you etc..
Your profile should give a fast and easy to understand overview of
what you, as a guy, are all about. Your pictures should do the heavy
lifting in that and the bio is just for that final touch of your
humor/vibe.
Your goal is not to get as many matches as you can – the goal is to get
QUALITY matches – people who like your stuff. So, don’t be afraid of
being a bit cocky or derpy in your bios.
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For example, I used “I am pregnant” for a long time in Tinder and
lot’s of girls actually opened me first by asking how long and how has
the expericence been, lol.
The bio should establish your humor and be something the girl can
take and comment on.
What should I text her?
When you match with a girl or want to send a message to a new girl
start with something observational from the picture/bio but make it
fun - don't write "hey", "what's up", "how are you". These will kill
you.
Girls get shit tons of these messages every day and there is no way
you stand out from all of these unless you look like an absolute chad.
I have had a lot of success with random shit like "awesome
eyebrows", "Do you know how to speak English?" (when all of her
profile is in English and she is from English speaking country) or
whatever. Shit that doesn't even make sense but is fun and gets her
attention. The idea is to stand out between all the "heys" and "what's
ups".
Random is underestimated!
After you sent her a message and she has responded your ONLY and I
repeat.. ONLY goal is to move the intereaction in the direction of
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meeting up. If your message does not help you with that then delete
it.
You are NOT on these apps to get a pen pal. Every passing second
she is getting more and more messages from other guys. Even if you
were fun and witty at the start you can’t sustain being the ultimate
badass of texting for weeks or months. Someone else will come along
who is that 1% better than you, more goodlooking than you and who
asks her out first.. and then you are left with „read“ or with platonic
delayed responses.
How should my messages look like?
Your messages should be flirty, fun, lighthearted. No long, drawn out
conversations or paragraphs on who you are, what your goals are,
what your last relationship looked like.
Absolutely NO sending morning messages like „good morning, how is
your day?“. It gets tedious to answer to and gives nothing energy
wise.
K.I.S.S – KEEP IT SIMPLE SILLY!
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I know how frustrating it is to lose girls (especially the cute ones) over
text. When you can't think of something funny, flirty, or interesting to
say without sounding weird. And worst of all.. when she gets bored
and doesn't respond for hours. It's annoying when this happens.
In my book I showed you my structure on how I text girls but I didn’t
delve too deep into the topic. If you want to get some texting
examples and a "cheat sheet" on texting girls, then I'd recommend
you read the "Done for You Texting" bonus eBook that comes with
Mike Haine's Friends with Benefits program.
It makes texting A LOT easier. By analyzing couple of his text
conversations, you'll get a feel for how texting should go. (How to
open, keeping it flirty, and getting her excited to see you)
Even though I've learned from countless online dating coaches, I still
sometimes catch myself referring back to his examples. It's worth
studying for sure.
How to turn your match into an actual date
You banter back and forth a bit and then you suggest doing some
activity together. Only suggest meeting up when you can see from
the texts that her mood is good (usually the smileys and quality of
banter reveals that).
You can suggest getting a coffee, drinks, walking (if it's nice climate
there). For me the easiest has been grabbing drinks in some pub
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where you can play billiards, darts, table football, ping pong etc. and
is not overly crowded.
You can say something like this: “haha, yeah.. (after her last message
where she seemed to be in a good mood). You know.. I decided to go
to xyz this xyz day but I just keep wondering if you could beat me at
xyz.“ (when proposing some activity together like playing billiards,
darts, table football etc). “Do you have what it takes?“ and then if she
responds positively you set up the details.
If she can’t/doesn’t want to go to that thing then just keep bantering
more and ask some other day.
I ain’t saying that this will work all the time as it can be difficult to get
girls on dates from apps (depending on where you live – the more
people using the app the more options) but it will give you a cool and
socially calibrated way to ask her out without seeming needy or
pushy.
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Conclusion
That's it - digest this information for a bit and then TAKE ACTION!
Now, obviously there is a lot of other stuff to talk about which has
not been covered in this book. If you feel that you need more
guidance then check out the products I suggested – I am 100%
confident that every single recommended product in this book is
worth your money.. because they were for me and without
programs like these.. I would probably still be a virgin to this day.
Thank you for reading and make sure to keep an eye on your inbox
for more epic content!
Until next time,
Coach David
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