SKILL FOR BUSINESS
Negotiating and managing
conflict
The elements of communication - Theory
Analog and digital communication
Interpersonal communication is characterized by two levels: analog and digital1;
analog communication is the type that does not use words, whereas digital
communication requires the use of language, that is a set of signs (words)
organised according to rules (grammar, syntax) which have meanings that are
understood and shared by those who use that specific language.
Analogue communication
Non-verbal
Paraverbal
Posture
Tone
Gestures
Volume
Facial expressions
Rhythm
Look
Pauses
Digital communication
Verbal
Words
Proxemics
(setting the distance from
the interlocutor)
Vocalizations
Everyone has their own unmistakable style of communicating.
The combination and modulation of analog and digital elements determines the
way we relate to others and our communication/relational styles take on great
importance in every interaction, because they can help or hinder relationships,
mutual understanding, problem solving, the outcome of negotiations, the
management of conflicts.
Merhabian’s rule
The results of research conducted by a famous communication expert, Albert
Merhabian, are very well known. Merhabian assessed the impact that the two
1 Watzlawick P., Beavin J.H., Jackson D. (1967), Pragmatics of Human Communication: A study of
Interactional Patterns, Pathologies and Paradoxes, Norton, New York
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Negotiating and managing
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levels of communication have on the interlocutor and on the decoding of a
message. The author proved that the analog level has a greater impact, and plays
a preponderant role in helping to understand the meaning of a message,
especially in communication concerning the emotional sphere.
Mehrabian’s results are often misinterpreted or distorted to the point where there
is a widespread belief that he proved that in all types of communication the
contribution that words give to the definition of the meaning is minimal. In reality
Merhabian himself wished to dispel these incorrect interpretations of his studies,
and underlined the fact that the rule he detected applies to communication
regarding a person’s frame of mind, experiences and feelings:
“my findings on this topic have received considerable attention
in the literature and in the popular media. "Silent Messages"2
contains a detailed discussion of my findings on inconsistent
messages of feelings and attitudes (and the relative importance
of words vs. nonverbal cues)
Please note that this and other equations regarding relative
importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived
from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and
attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking
about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not
applicable.”3
2 Mehrabian, A. (1981), Silent messages: Implicit communication of emotions and attitudes. Belmont, CA:
Wadsworth (currently distributed by Albert Mehrabian, am@kaaj.com)
3 http://www.kaaj.com/psych/
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It is therefore important to underline that in the case of discrepancy between what
is said using words and what is expressed by the analog level of communication,
the recipient of the message will rely mainly on the non-verbal elements in order
to understand the real meaning of what is being communicated to them.
Let’s look at an example:
In this case, Paul will understand the real meaning of what Robert is
communicating to him about his frame of mind by observing the non-verbal
elements of the way he is communicating: indeed, although his words express
something different, it is clear that right now Robert is angry!
Digital communication is precise: if I say “sun” it is clear that I am referring to
the star in the sky that the earth and other planets revolve around. This precision
is valid if we are referring to objects, physical things, but when we start to talk
about concepts things get complicated. For instance, are we sure that we and our
interlocutor (a colleague, a person in charge...) interpret certain words or
expressions – such as “early”, “urgent”, “important”, “better”, “done well”/”done
badly”, “detailed”, “neat”, “accurate”, etc. in exactly the same way?
When we use words that refer to concepts or that describe the characteristics of
something, our personal paradigms come into play, we therefore give words a
meaning which does not always entirely correspond with the one that our
interlocutors intend. A useful suggestion for reducing the risk of taking it for
granted that others think the way we do is to pay attention to the type of words
used: the words that usually cause misunderstandings are adjectives or adverbs,
whereas those that help us to be clear are verbs.
NG02_Elements of communication_theory.doc
SKILL FOR BUSINESS
Negotiating and managing
conflict
On our assertiveness development path later on we will see how important it is to
be precise and specific in communication, to avoid making the mistake of taking it
for granted that others share our view.
Let’s examine these two different phrases:
“John, your work is inaccurate and superficial, there are things missing, you
should redo it much better, concentrating more, doing it less hastily, it’s important
to do it well”
“John, in the report you’ve given me there are some inaccuracies: for example the
data from project X have not been set out in chronological order, which doesn’t
allow us a thorough view of the project in its entirety, I would like you to check the
accuracy of the data, change the way it is set out and check that the Z and K
analysis results are not missing, this will enable us to have a clear overall view
which will be useful for planning the next steps, thanks.”
In the first case John gets very general information that doesn’t help him to
improve his work, moreover John might not give the adjectives “inaccurate” and
“superficial” and the adverbs “better” and “well” the same meaning that his
interlocutor does.
Communication of this type also creates a further risk: phrases like “concentrating
more” and “less hastily” introduce an element of judgment on John’s performance
that risks causing difficulty in the relationship with his interlocutor, it is as if the
person communicating take it for granted that John did what he did without much
diligence or paying very little attention and not dedicating enough time to it, but
this is an opinion, it is not necessarily true
John could therefore feel judged on a personal level, and in this case not only is
the communication not very useful as regards the changes that the interlocutor
desires in John’s output, it also risks producing negative effects on both his
motivation and the relationship between the two of them.
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SKILL FOR BUSINESS
Negotiating and managing
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In the second case, instead, John gets clear information (referring to specific
situations) and the requests are not at all ambiguous (use of verbs, description of
specific behaviour and its consequences), there are absolutely no judgments on
him as a person and therefore, although John may dislike having to redo the work,
he has clear instructions for doing it and he won’t feel judged on a personal level.
This style of communication is therefore not only useful for getting the different
output that the interlocutor wants, but it also will not damage the relationship
between the two people and will not demotivate John.
Analog communication is by its very nature not specific. As we have seen, if
there is discrepancy with the words used, analog communication helps us to
understand the interlocutor’s emotional state, but it is important to underline the
fact that gestures, facial expressions and posture do not have precise and
premeditated meanings, there is no “dictionary” of non-verbal communication that
allows us to give meanings to any given non-verbal o paraverbal element with any
certainty (despite the fact that unfortunately there is a widespread presence of
manuals with little or no scientific importance which promise to reveal all the
mysteries of body language to enable us to understand others perfectly).
Body Language is greatly influenced by cultural and personal elements which
intervene and change both the expression and the understanding. It is therefore
necessary to be careful to verify our impressions and perceptions of another
person’s frame of mind, by interacting with our interlocutors, otherwise we risk
making enormous mistakes in interpretation which then turn into difficulties in the
relationship with others.
Non-verbal and paraverbal communication, according to Mehrabian’s findings, are
very important elements whose impact is often underestimated. It is, however,
easy to understand how critical the role of non-verbal and paraverbal elements is
for the purpose of understanding a message if we think of all those situations
where we are not face to face with our interlocutor: it is certainly harder to make
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Negotiating and managing
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ourselves understood.
We can identify a sort of “hierarchy” of ease of understanding:
Written communication (e.g. an e-mail)
Oral communication (e.g. a phone call)
Face to face communication (e.g. a meeting)
Verbal
Paraverbal
Mail
X
Phone call
X
X
Meeting
X
X
Non-verbal
X
Considering the fact that misunderstanding is always possible, the more personal,
clear interaction there is, the lower the risk. This is because when we meet a
person face to face we have at our disposal not just words but also non-verbal
and paraverbal elements of communication, which greatly help us to determine
the meaning of our message.
Bibliography/Internet resources:
•
Watzlawick P., Beavin J.H., Jackson D. (1967), Pragmatics of
Human Communication: A study of Interactional Patterns,
Pathologies and Paradoxes, Norton, New York
•
Mehrabian, A. (1981), Silent messages: Implicit communication of
emotions and attitudes. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth (currently
distributed by Albert Mehrabian, am@kaaj.com)
NG02_Elements of communication_theory.doc
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Negotiating and managing
conflict
•
A. Mehrabian official site: http://www.kaaj.com/psych/
•
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian
NG02_Elements of communication_theory.doc