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Art of Being Assertive
Cathy Curtis
IET Professional Skills Trainer
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Art of Being Assertive
Cathy Curtis
IET Professional Skills Trainer
2
Objectives
Describe and demonstrate the
techniques used to effectively handle
aggressive and submissive behaviours
Identify the key points of the
assertiveness definition, using the
slides
Correctly explain the 3 steps to
assertive behaviour
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Agenda
What is assertiveness?
Aggressive/submissive behaviour
Body language and personal space
Voice elements
3 Steps to assertive behaviour
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What is assertiveness?
“Standing up for your rights
in a way that doesn’t violate
others”
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Aggressive / Submissive behaviour
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Aggressive behaviour
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Shouting
Angry expression
Pointing
Patronising
Standing up
Over powering
Waving hands around
Intimidating
Submissive behaviour
Timid
Find it hard to say no
Quiet
Rarely speak up
Closed body language
Avoid confrontation
Accommodating others
before themselves
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Assertive
Submissive
Posture
Upright & straight
Leaning forward
Shrinking back
Head
Firm not rigid
Chin jutting out
Head down
Eyes
Direct not staring
Strongly focused or
staring, often
piercing or glaring
eye contact
Glancing away
Good & regular
eye contact
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Aggressive
Little eye contact
Face
Expression fits with Set firm
words
Smiling, even when
upset
Voice
Well modulated to
fit content
Loud, strong
Hesitant, soft,
trailing off at the
ends of words
Arms/Hands
Relaxed, moving
easily
Extreme, sharp
gestures, finger
pointing, jabbing
Aimless, still
Movement/Walking Measured pace
Slow & heavy or
fast & deliberate
Slow & hesitant or
fast & jerky
Personal space
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Voice elements
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Pitch
Pace
Volume
Tone
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See Saw Analogy
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Step 1 - Listen
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Actively listening phrases
• I hear what you are saying…
• I understand…
• Let me re-cap…
• So what you’re saying is…
• I sympathise/empathise…
• I can see where you are coming from…
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Step 2 – State how you feel/think
•
•
•
•
•
•
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I think…
I feel…
I’m upset that…
I’m very happy that…
I think this is very important…
This is an issue we should carefully
consider…
Image courtesy of Master isolated images/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Step 3 – State what you want to
happen
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•
•
•
•
•
•
•
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I want…
I need…
I suggest…
I would like to….
I think we should…
As a compromise…
As a solution we can…
What I propose is…
Image courtesy of Master isolated images/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Stand your ground
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Image courtesy of Renjith Krishnan/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Scenario 1
You have boarded a busy train; there is
only one seat available. It’s beside
someone who has placed their luggage
on it. What response would be classed
as assertive?
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Scenario 2
Your next door neighbour is
renovating their house and still
doing loud building work at
12.30 at night…..
What response would be
classed as assertive?
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Win / Win
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Objectives
Describe and demonstrate the
techniques used to effectively handle
aggressive and submissive behaviours
Identify the key points of the
assertiveness definition, using the
slides
Correctly explain the 3 steps to
assertive behaviour
25
Questions
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V1
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Please click link to provide feedback
Please click link to provide feedback
Scan the QR code to record
your CPD in Career Manager
Thank you &
good luck
Cathy Curtis
IET Professional Skills Trainer
pdcourses@theiet.org
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Copyright Notice
Material published by The Institution of Engineering and
Technology in these lectures is the copyright of The Institution of
Engineering and Technology and may not be reproduced without
permission. Copyright exists in all other original material published
by The Institution of Engineering and Technology and may belong
to the author or to The Institution of Engineering and
Technology depending on the circumstances of publication.
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