Editing and Revising Sample Text 1
Edits (Smaller Corrections)
1. Fix Subject-Verb Agreement
● Change:
"Buster Bronco’s make an amazing fish taco." → "Buster Bronco’s makes an
amazing fish taco."
● Why:
"Buster Bronco’s" is singular, so it requires "makes" instead of "make."
2. Correct a Run-on Sentence
● Change:
"Last week my wife wanted me to take her out to a nice seafood restaurant to
celebrate our anniversary." → "Last week, my wife asked me to take her to a seafood
restaurant for our anniversary."
● Why:
Added a comma for clarity and improved sentence flow.
3. Fix Informal Language
● Change:
"Our server seemed to be more interested in getting us outta there then helping us."
→ "Our server seemed more interested in getting us out of there than helping us."
● Why:
"Outta" is too informal, and "then" should be "than."
4. Correct Typo
● Change:
"Onto to the topic of taste." → "Now, onto the topic of taste."
● Why:
"Onto to" is incorrect grammar.
5. Fix Awkward Sentence Structure
● Change:
"The fish tacos complete with seasoned warm fries on the side." → "The fish tacos
come with seasoned warm fries on the side."
● Why:
The original sentence is incomplete and unclear.
Revisions (Larger Changes)
1. Improve Thesis Statement
● Change:
"We went to Buster Bronco’s SurfnTurf and the following is my review. Which
explains why I gave it 3 out of 5 stars." → "We went to Buster Bronco’s Surf ‘n’ Turf to
celebrate our anniversary, and I am giving it 3 out of 5 stars based on atmosphere,
food, service, and price."
● Why:
The original was unclear and grammatically incorrect. This revision provides a clear
introduction to the review.
2. Reorganize 'Taste' Paragraph
● Change:
Restructure the paragraph so that it begins with an overall statement about the food
before listing specific dishes.
● Why:
Improves logical flow, making it easier to follow.
3. Expand Service Critique
● Change:
"The service was meh, which is why I deleted a star." → "The service was
disappointing. Our server seemed rushed and inattentive, though she did provide
extra water and napkins without being asked."
● Why:
"Meh" is informal and vague. The revision adds details and a more professional
tone.
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