I only received feedback from Abby, and her comments were very helpful. She pointed out
several grammar mistakes in the draft that were too small for me to notice, so I do not think I
would be able to find them without her input, so her feedback was useful in making my writing
clearer. Additionally, she suggested a few ways to improve the flow and style of my sentences
such as rewriting in a way more literary and engaging. These suggestions helped me to see my
writing from a different perspective. Therefore, I will definitely incorporate all the feedback she
gave me into my revision process. When revising my paper, my plan is to address the grammar
issues by carefully re-reading my draft at least twice to correct the mistakes. Abby also
suggested changing some of my sentence structures to make them more sophisticated, and I
will follow that advice as well. I will also try to rewrite the thesis statement to make it sound more
attractive and make my topic clearer. I believe these changes will improve the overall quality of
my work. In terms of the overall revision, I think my paper needs only minor adjustments. I want
to focus on tightening up each paragraph to make sure the paper stays on track and doesn’t go
off on tangents. There are a few places where I feel the narrative could be more concise, and
they should be fixed by eliminating unnecessary details. I will make sure the focus remains on
the central ideas. I also plan to add one or two sentences to the conclusion to provide a stronger
ending that wraps up my thoughts effectively. In sum, the feedback I received was very detailed
with emotion feedback and error checking, and I think applying these changes will enhance my
paper.