head andscrewsupherface in disgust, mother, Isay,why
Yvan,
are yousoselfish, I'm notselfish,I'm notselfish,
to be
going
you'renotgoingtostart aswell,you'renot
aheart
have
I
me
like MmeRomérothis morningandtell
of
heart
a
has
family
ofstone,thateverybody in our
stone,that's whatMmeRomérosaid this morningwhenI
refused to raise herwages she's gonecompletely mad,
bytheway to sixtyfrancs anhourtax-free, shehadthe
gallto sayeveryone inthefamilyhadaheartofstone,
when sheknowsverywell aboutpoor André's pacemaker,
that's
youhaven't even bothered to drop himaline,yes,
me
not
it's
right, veryfunny,everything's ajoketo you,
learn
to
lot
a
got
still
who'stheselfish one, Yvan,you've
about life, offyougo, myboy,go on, goon, goand see
-
-
yourprecious friends.
Serge Hehasn'tread it.
Yvan Oh.
Marc No,but Sergejust told meitwasamasterpiece.
Serge I said itwas amasterpiece because it isamasterpiece.
Marc Quite.
Serge Itis amasterpiece.
Marc Whyare yougetting annoyed?
Serge Youseemto beinsinuating Iusethewordmasterpiece attheslightest excuse.
Marc Notatall ...
Serge You said theword in akindofsarcastic way...
Silence.
Marc Notatall!
Serge Thenwhat?
Yvan Thennothing. Nothing's beenresolved.Ihungup.
Mini-drama withCatherine.Cutshort, becauseIwaslate.
Marc Whydoyoulet yourselfbebuggered aroundbyall
these women?
Yvan WhydoIletmyselfbebuggeredaround, Idon't
know!They're allinsane.
Serge You'velostweight.
Yvan Ofcourse Ihave.Halfastone.Purely through stress.
Marc Read Seneca
Yvan DeVita Beata,justwhatIneed!
What'shesuggest?
Serge Yes,yes, the wordmasterpiece inakind of...
Marc Is hecrazy? Notatall! ...However,whenyouused
theword,youqualified it bysaying'incredibly modern'.
Serge Yes. So?
Marc Yousaid 'incredibly modern', asif modernwasthe
highest complimentyoucouldgive. Asif, whendescribing
something,youcouldn'tthink ofanythingmore
admirable,moreprofoundly admirable, thanmodern.
Serge So?
Marc Sonothing.
Andplease noteImadenomention ofthe wordincredibly... Incrediblymodern!
Marc It's amasterpiece.
Serge You'rereally needling metoday.
Yvan Oh?
Marc No,I'mnot...
30
31
Yvan You're notgoingtoquarrel all evening,thatwould
justabout finish me!
Serge He's right, you mightonce inawhile haveanopin-
Serge Youdon'tthinkit's extraordinary that amanwho
wrotenearly twothousandyears agoshould still be
Yvan Listen, if you thinkyou're goingto use me asa
coconutshy, I'moutofhere! I've putupwithenough
up to date?
today.
Marc No. Ofcourse not. That'sthe definition ofaclassic.
Marc Where'syoursense ofhumour, Yvan?
Serge You're justplaying with words.
Yvan What?
Yvan So, what arewegoingto do? Isupposethe cinema's upthespout, sorry. Shallweeat?
Marc Where'syour sense ofhumour, oldchap?
Marc Serge tells meyou'reverytakenwithhis painting.
tolaughat. Where's mysense of
bang
Yvan Yes...Iamquite...takenwithit, yes...
You're not, Igather.
Marc No.
Let's goand eat. Serge knowsatasty spot. Lyonnaise.
Serge Youthinkthe food'stoo fatty.
Marc I thinkthefood's abit onthefatty side, butIdon't
mindgivingit awhirl.
Serge No,ifyou thinkthefood'stoo fatty, we'llfind
ion ofyourown.
Yvan Where's mysense ofhumour?Idon't see anything
tobe funny?
humour, areyoutrying
Marc I think recently you'vesomewhatlost yoursense of
humour. Youwanttowatch out, believe me!
Yvan What'sthe matter withyou?
Marc Don'tyouthink recently I've also somewhatlost
mysense ofhumour?
Yvan Oh,Isee!
Serge Allright, that's enough,let's make adecision. Tell
somewhereelse.
youthe truth, I'mnotevenhungry.
Marc No,I don'tmindgivingitawhirl.
Yvan You're both really sinister this evening.
Serge We'llgotothe restaurant if youthinkyou'll like it.
If not,wewon't.
(to Yvan)Youlike Lyonnaise food?
Serge Youwantmyopinionaboutyourwomenproblems?
Yvan I'll dowhateveryoulike.
Marc He'lldowhatever youlike. Whateveryoulike, he'll
always do.
Yvan What'sthematter with you? You're bothbehaving
verystrangely.
32
Yvan Goon.
Serge Inmyview,themosthysterical ofthemall is
Catherine. Byfar.
Marc Noquestion.
Serge Andifyou're already letting yourself bebuggered
aroundbyher,you'reinfor ahideousfuture.
33
Yvan WhatcanIdo?
Yvan Oh,yes.
Yvan Cancelthe wedding?
Ithought ofyoutoday attheshop,weranofffive hundred posters bythis blokewhopaintswhite flowers,
totally white, onawhite background.
Serge He'sright.
Serge TheAntrios isnotwhite.
Yvan But Ican't, are youcrazy?
Yvan No, ofcoursenot. Iwasjust saying.
Marc Whynot?
Marc Youthinkthis painting is notwhite, Yvan?
Yvan Well, becauseIcan't,that's all! It's all arranged.
I've only been workingatthe stationery business for a
month
Yvan Notentirely,no.
Marc Cancelit.
Marc What'sthatgotto dowithit?
Yvan It's heruncle'sstationery business, hehad
absolutely noneedtotake onanyone, least ofall someone
who's only everworkedintextiles.
Serge Youmustdowhatyoulike.I've told youwhatI
Marc Ah.Thenwhatcolouris it?
Yvan Variouscolours...There'syellow, there's grey,
some slightly ochrish lines.
Marc Andyou're movedbythese colours?
Yvan Yes...I'mmovedbythese colours.
Marc Youhavenosubstance, Yvan. You'reflabby,you're
think.
anamoeba.
Yvan I'msorry, Serge, Idon'tmeanto berude, butyou're
Serge Whyare you attackingYvanlike this?
advice. Youcan't claim to have been agreat success in
that field...
Marc Because he's alittle arse-licker, he's obsequious, dazzled bymoney, dazzled bywhathebelieves to beculture,
andasyouknowculture is somethingI absolutelypiss on.
notnecessarily the personI'd cometo for matrimonial
Serge Precisely.
Briefsilence.
Yvan Ican't backoutofthe wedding.IknowCatherine
is hystericalbutshe hashergood points. There are certain
crucial qualitiesyouneedwhenyou're marryingsomeone
like me...(Heindicates theAntrios.) Whereareyou
going toputit?
Serge Idon't knowyet.
Yvan Whydon'tyouputit there?
Serge Becausethere, it'd bewiped outbythesunlight.
34
Serge...What'sgotinto you?
Marc (to Yvan) Howcould you, Yvan?...And infront
ofme.Infront ofme,Yvan.
Yvan Whatd'you mean,infront ofyou?... Whatd'you
mean, in front ofyou?
Ifind these colours touching. Yes.Ifit's all thesameto
you.
Stop wantingto control everything.
35
Marc Howcouldyousay, infrontofme,thatyoufind
these colourstouching?
Yvan Because it's the truth.
Marc Thetruth? You find these colourstouching?
Yvan Yes.Ifind these colours touching.
Marc You find these colours touching, Yvan?!
Serge Hefinds these colours touching! He'sperfectly enti-
tled to!
Marc No,he'snotentitled to.
Serge Whatdoyou mean,he's notentitled to?
Marc He's notentitled to.
Yvan I'mnot entitled to?...
Marc No.
Serge Whyis henotentitled to? Idon'tthink you're very
well, perhapsyououghttogo andseesomeone.
Marc He's notentitled to say hefinds these colours
touching,becausehe doesn't.
Yvan Idon't findthese colours touching?
Marc There are nocolours. Youcan't see them.Andyou
don'tfindthem touching.
Yvan Right. I'moff.
Serge Whereare yougoing?
Yvan I'm off. Idon't see whyIhave to putup withyour
tantrums.
Serge Don'tgo! You're not going to start taking offence,
areyou?...If yougo,you're giving in tohim.
Yvanstands there, hesitating, caughtbetweentwopos-
sibilities.
A
manofhistimeis amanwholives in his owntime.
Marc Balls. Howcan amanlive inanyother timebuthis
own?Answer methat.
Serge Amanofhis time is someone ofwhomit canbe
said intwenty years' orinahundredyears'time, hewas
representative ofhis era.
Marc Hm.
Towhatend?
Serge Whatdoyoumean, to whatend?
Marc Whatuseis it to meif one day somebodysays, I
was representative ofmyera?
Serge Listen, oldfruit, we'renottalkingaboutyou, if you
imagine suchathing! Wedon'tgiveafuckaboutyou!
can
A
manofhis time, I'mtrying to explain to you, like most
peopleyouadmire,is someone whomakessomecontri-
Yvan Speakfor yourself!
Marc This is really demeaning, Yvan!...
Serge Whodoyouthinkyouare, Marc?
Whoare youtolegislate? Youdon'tlike anything,you
despise everyone. Youtake pride in notbeing amanof
yourtime...
Marc What's that supposed to mean, amanofmytime?
36
bution to thehumanrace...A
man of his time doesn't
assumethe history ofArthas cometoanend with a
pseudo-Flemishview of Cavaillon..
Marc Carcassonne.
Serge Samething. Aman ofhis time plays his part inthe
fundamentaldynamic ofevolution
37