Quick Reference Guide
to the 10 Most
Common Technical
Glitches You Must
Fix NOW!
Welcome to the Quick
Reference Guide to the 10
Most Common Technical
Glitches You Must Fix NOW!
In each of the following
modules, I walk you through
a brief refresh on how to
overcome very common
technical problems in game
immediately, in the club, so you
can take her home tonight!
The Girls Can’t Hear Me:
Voice is arguably the most important part of technical game. If
she can’t hear you, she can’t engage with you. You will simply
be ignored as she either can’t hear you at all, or assumes that
if you had something important to say, you’d raise your damn
voice. By contrast, the loudest guy in the room is usually
seen as the most dominant and often most attractive. Either
learn to project your voice with the volume and certainty of
a confident man, or expect shit results until you die (if you act
like a weak bitch, she will treat you like one).
Make sure your voice and energy levels are 10-15% above
the energy of the environment. This is true in the club, on
daygame, or in any other context.
Technical Voice aspects come down to three parts:
»» Projection
»» Downward tonality
»» Speaking in the lower part of your range
Projection:
Voices are produced by air flowing over a modulating
permeable outlet. You have your lungs, which control the
volume and rate of the air, and your larynx, tongue, and lips,
which act as the outlet. When attempting to increase volume,
we are therefore focused solely on the lungs. You can monitor
how much air is going into your lungs by seeing how much
your abdomen protrudes when you breath in. This is your
diaphragm moving posterior, simultaneously increasing your
lung volume and compressing the contents of your abdomen.
Once you have a deep breath, speak as you breathe out. By
aligning your speech with your breathing, you will now start
to speak with your chest instead of speaking with your mouth
and pharynx. Your ability to take in air controls volume, and
your ability to speak as you breathe out produces the volume.
Downward tonality:
There are three ways people speak to one another. When
asking a question or speaking to an authority we speak with
an upward inflection at the end of a sentence. When speaking
to someone we know we speak with a neutral inflection.
When speaking to someone we feel confident around we
speak with a downward inflection. The last way of speaking
is what is most attractive to women. How do you hack this?
By consciously dropping the pitch of the last word in each
sentence. “Da da da da Duh” as opposed to “Da da da da dey”.
After a few sentences of consciously dropping the pitch, you
will begin to do it naturally.
Speaking in the lower part of your range:
Put your hand on your chest. Start speaking, now drop the
pitch down until you can feel a slight vibration in your chest.
This is part of your range that you should be speaking in all
the time. Periodically monitor your chest as you talk to make
sure you feel the vibration until it becomes natural.
I Have Bad Body Language:
How much should you worry about body language? The
truth is, not all that much. Most guys who get bogged down
in analyzing body language are worse off for their effort.
However, there are a few body language tips that are easy to
implement, while instantly increasing your attractiveness.
You can instantly improve your body language by:
»» Not crossing your arms
»» Hands to your side, and not in your pockets
»» Not leaning into the girl
You can instantly improve your posture using the following
three steps:
1. Slouching and putting your chest and head down: Imagine
your chest is a cylinder running from one shoulder to the
opposite shoulder. Rotate that cylinder upwards so that
your chest is up and out. This is how you should stand.
2. Arms in and covering your body: Now imagine each of
your arms and shoulders as vertical cylinders. Externally
rotate those cylinders outward, opening up your
shoulders, arms, and hands till your hands are between
parallel and perpendicular to your body.
3. Head forward: Now imagine a string attached from
the very top of your head to the ceiling. Pull that string
taught. You head, neck, and thoracic spine should be
directly vertical to each other.
If you slouch around like a soft purposeless jellyfish, don’t be
surprised when you are treated like one.
If you are hyper, erratic, or jittery like an anxious child or a
stimulant addict, don’t be surprised when she wants nothing
to do with you. These are manifestations of internal disarray.
Everyone has enough problems of their own, they don’t want
to deal with anyone else’s disorders.
Good body language is just a matter of having good posture,
and being relaxed/confident about who you are. Be aware the
above-mentioned factors: its more about not doing anything
weird, than about proactively doing anything unique. When
your thoughts, words, and actions are in alignment, your body
will be naturally congruent.
I have bad eye contact:
Many guys hear that eye contact is essential to good game,
but they either make poor eye contact due to nervousness, or
make overly intense, wide eyed eye contact that freaks people
out. Hear, we are going to show you how to overcome both of
these problems.
Nervousness:
Look at the bridge of the persons nose right between their
eyes. This is indistinguishable to your partner from real eye
contact, but takes the pressure off of you to look away too
soon.
Making relaxed eye contact:
Intense eye contact can be alarming, because it conveys
anxiety. To practice relaxed eye contact, first close your eyes.
Now slowly open them to the point where you can see your
full visual field, but no further. Note how this feel. This is
what relaxed eye contact feels and looks like. Your eyelids are
partially down, but without blocking any of your vision.
Don’t overcomplicate this! The whole goal here is simply to
feel calm and confident while looking a beautiful woman in
her eyes. Use the tips above in the short-term, and you will
become much more relaxed and “normal” in the long-term
after getting more experience and success.
I Keep Getting Approach Anxiety:
Approach anxiety is a holdover from our evolutionary past
where there were real consequences to approaching the
wrong girl if your social status wasn’t high enough. This was
true when our ancestors lived in tribes of 50-200 people. It
might still be true if you live in a tiny village (if you do MOVE!).
It is no longer true in real cities. I have approached women in
over 50 countries all around the world with fantastic results.
It’s ok to feel negative emotions, it’s not ok to be a little bitch
and let your short-term emotions obstruct your long-term
success. That is a recipe for mediocrity at best, and often
utter failure. It is not a recipe for being your best self and
living your best available life.
Pragmatically speaking, approach anxiety has two parts to it:
initial resistance, and the mental residue that’s left after an
approach doesn’t go your way (which causes more anxiety in
the next approach).
Overcoming initial resistance:
1. If you’re feeling resistance, do not worry about openers.
You will think of one when you walk up. Saying “Hi” is
perfectly fine as a start.
2. Realize the club for what it is. People are here to drink
and have fun. There is nothing that you are going to do
in this environment that will affect your life or their life
(baring illegal activities). In fact, there is nothing you
will do that they will likely even remember 10 minutes
after the conversation. This environment is as close to
a video game as one can get to in real life. Treat it with
irreverence as such.
3. Start approaching as soon as you get into the club. When
you get out of that set, approach the next one. Do this
for the first 20 minutes at least to allow your mind to
acclimate to what it’s doing.
4. If you were a fucktard, didn’t actually do step 2, and are
now finding it hard to approach, focus on the manual
steps that are involved in approaching:
a. Look around the room, where is the closest girl?
b. Turn your body so that your feet are pointed
towards them.
c. Take one step towards them.
d. Repeat step C until you are within speaking distance
to them.
e. Start speaking. Literally say anything to them that
is loud enough to get their attention. Your brain will
feed you things to say once this step is habituated.
Overcoming approach anxiety residue:
1. Your brain operates by going towards what it associates
with pleasure and away from what it associates with pain.
You therefore have to be very careful at what input your
brain associates with approaching. What does this mean?
Every approach needs to be encoded into your neurology
as a WIN. If you approached, you won. Since our brains
do not do this naturally, you need to manually tell yourself
that you did awesome after every set. EVERY SET. EVERY
TIME. This is not optional. You are retraining your brain
to do something most people will never do.
2. Save feedback and self-reflection for the end of the night.
The club is about building your emotional momentum or
“state”, as most pulls happen at the very end of your night
and require some kind of buildup. When your brain starts
giving you lists of things to improve, consciously put it off
till you are out of the environment. Think about what you
could have done better after sex happens, don’t let those
thoughts distract you from making the sex happen.
3. Mean words: Many guys get discouraged by snarky or
insulting comments from the people they approach.
Realize that during a short interaction, people are
expressing their own personality more than they are
reflecting what they view as your true character. In
other words, given the short time frame in which these
approaches happen, nasty words are a reflection of
them, much more than you. They do not have enough of
a sample size of your identity to make those judgement
calls. It’s your goal to convey more of your personality,
identity, and sense of humor, so she can make an informed
decision about how much she might like you as a sex or
life partner. It also your duty to learn the same about her.
Don’t take the process personally.
On a more practical level, when these thoughts pop up,
immediately cut them off and focus on what you did right,
and how you won. Remember, you are programing your
own brain, and programming is created through what
inputs you choose.
How Should the Approach Look?:
Straightest possible path from you to her:
Two of the easiest but most essential fixes in game. Almost
every guy gets these wrong:
When approaching, visualize a direct line from you to the
girl. Then walk that line. Do not circle the girl like some faulty
heat seeking missile. Do not take a zig zag path to the girl
like you’re crippled. Walk directly up. Bee line. The shortest
possible path from point A to Point B. Lingering around her
periphery waiting for an approach invitation is one of the
weakest most bitch-hearted behaviors a man could engage in.
It is also usually perceived as VERY CREEPY. It demonstrates
timidity, unassuredness, and bitch-assed cowardice. Don’t be
a shit-eating creep! Open directly and with confidence.
Squaring up:
Nothing is creepier than someone trying to talk to you from
behind your shoulder. And nothing is more unattractive
to a woman than a guy trying to talk to her while she’s not
facing him. Every approach should be started by squaring up.
This means your shoulders are facing and aligned with her
shoulders, your hips are facing and aligned with her hips. If
she’s at a bar, you can come next to her and talk to her this
way, but the conversation should very quickly lead to both of
you facing each other.
This is the easiest part of your game to correct. You can
double the number of women you sleep with just by following
these two steps. Do not overlook them!
I Don’t Know What to Say:
A very common question from clients is: “What do I say?”
Given the infinite amount of words you can say, and ways you
can say them, guys become overwhelmed with all the options.
Here we are going to break down what to say in four easy
steps.
1. Lower the bar for what you think is acceptable to say.
You’re there to clown around and have fun together, not
to deliver a formal doctoral thesis.
2. Honesty: The theme of this program is honesty. Why?
Primarily for pragmatic reasons. Guys are rarely truly
honest with women, and attractive women are lied to
more than anyone else on the planet. Being honest and
“saying what you think” can be confusing from a technical
standpoint, because at any given moment we may be
thinking and feeling many different things. Vocalizing
honest thoughts comes first from an awareness of what
you are thinking and feeling. Once you become aware
(by actually asking yourself what you are thinking at that
moment) you will find that a variety of thoughts come up.
However, there is usually one thought that is the most
prominent at any given time. When you discover what
that thought is, vocalize it. This will cause another panel
of thoughts to come up. Choose the most prominent
thought from that set and vocalize that. This is what
creates stream of consciousness speaking, and it is
exactly what we are looking for. If done consistently, this
way of speaking will become habit, and will require no
effort at all. There are small exceptions to this (It probably
doesn’t help to vocalize that you think your girl’s friend
is fat), but you will naturally learn those as time goes on.
Start doing this now. Note: this has nothing to do with
ethics or morality. It is simply THE most effective way to
get to the women who would be best for you.
3. Self-amusement: Honesty is the overriding principle
when it comes to what to say. However, if your
conversation is too logical or stiff, you will find that you
are bored and unexcited, and by osmosis she comes
bored and unexcited. Therefore: it helps to say things
during the conversation that amuse you to the point
where you are having fun, laughing, or excited. This comes
through asking yourself two questions:
a. What could I say that would make me laugh?
b. What would be the most amusing place to take this
conversation?
If you are consistently asking yourself these two
questions throughout the interaction, you will start to
have fun, and so will she. You should be able to maintain
your emotional state without input from her. When she
sees that you are waiting for her reaction, you’re done.
You have to practice this until its clear to you and her
that it wouldn’t affect your mood at all if she walked
away. Once that happens, she will want to stay much
more frequently.
Note: You can talk about traditionally boring topics, as
long as you are engaged. Engagement is a type of selfamusement, and involves you being so into what you are
saying that people become fascinated solely off your own
fascination.
4. Other tips:
»» During the beginning, you should be doing 90% of the
talking until she has enough of a sample size of your
personality that she actively wants to stay and talk
to you, or she simply goes away. Once that point is
reached, you should be doing 50% of the talking.
»» Always be gathering information about her logistics
and sharing logistical elements with her that would
help your cause. This will plant seeds in her head about
your availability for sex, as well as help you plan how to
move the interaction forward, or when to abort it and
move on to better options.
Guys Keep Coming into My Sets:
Most of the time when you approach mixed sets, the guys will
be friendly as long as you are friendly to them. This does not
mean to spend an inordinate amount of time talking to them.
It just means to introduce yourself in a charismatic manner
at some point in the interaction (This assumes they are a
legitimate part of her social circle. If it’s just some random guy,
ignore them entirely until he goes away.)
The order of operations for guys that are aggressive, trying to
steal your girl, or trying to tool you are as follows:
1. Ignore them: If her eyes are on you, see probably sees the
guy as irrelevant. Any overzealous attempts to deal with
the guy will just come off as insecure.
2. Briefly acknowledge him: If he is a legitimate friend of
hers, or if he is trying to get both her and your attention
and it is actually working, turn to him, smile, introduce
yourself, vibe with him for about 10 seconds, then
immediately start dominating the conversation again and
turn back to her. The guy will feel recognized, and usually
take the social cue that you’re a normal guy having a
private conversation with the girl.
3. AMOGing: This is reserved for when the guy is actually
starting to touch you, or get in your face. The trick to
this is to simultaneously frame him as being insecure and
weird, but do it with a fun, funny, carefree attitude, as if
the whole thing is a joke. You are acknowledging what
he’s doing, but you’re making it clear to the girl that it isn’t
affecting your mood. This should be done while smiling.
Examples: “Hey man, it’s the 21st century, and I totally
support your lifestyle. No homophobia here. But I just
don’t have those sorts of feelings for you.” or “Buddy, its
ok that you’re feeling insecure. I’m sure you’re going to
get the help you need. Just use your words. Use your
words buddy, act like a big boy.”
4. Situations where a guy has dominated the attention of a
girl you were talking to: Game is largely about attention.
Therefore, these situations are usually accomplished
by getting the attention back from the girl. This can by
saying “Just a second” to the guy, turning to the girl, and
immediately launching into a story. It can also be done
by grabbing the attention of the guy, talking until you’re
the focal point of the conversation, then turning your
attention to the girl. The end point for both of these
techniques is to turn your own body and the girl’s body
so you are facing each other, with the guy now standing
awkwardly outside the conversation. If he tries to get
back in, ignore. Or very briefly acknowledge him then
turn back to the girl. Example: ‘For sure man, anyway
(while turning back to the girl and continuing the
conversation just between you and her)”
Girls Keep Shit Testing Me:
A shit test is when a girl will do something extreme or
antagonistic to you either right when you meet her or at some
point in the interaction. These often take the form of a girl
challenging you on something you said, even if she’s been nice
and receptive up until that point.
Why does this happen? Because she likes you and wants to
see if you maintain your frame and good mood in spite of any
obstacles. They want to see if you actually are the man whom
you present yourself to be, down to your core. Women value
emotionally stable confident men - they are more resourceful
and less prone to mental illness or fucked-up/bitch-ass
behavior). Many girls have told me they were attracted
enough to go home with me in part simply because I kept my
composure even when they (or others) tried to through me
off balance. Quick Disclaimer: A legitimate request for privacy
or for you to leave the interaction should be respected.
However, if the girl says something randomly antagonistic
or challenging in an otherwise friendly interaction, she’s
probably trying to test you. The order of operations for shit
tests are:
1. Ignore. Example: Girl: “Your arms are pretty dainty.
Maybe you should work out more.” You: just continue
your flow of conversation without acknowledging
2. If she says it again: Give her a stare like what she just said
was ridiculous, then immediately go back to what you
were saying, with no change in mood.
3. If the shit test is more extreme, misinterpreted it as her
complimenting you or being adorable. Example: Girl: “Are
you always this much of an asshole?” You: “Ahh, its ok. You
don’t need to feel insecure. I already like you...”
4. If she really persists in trying to call you out on something,
make an over exaggerated sarcastic apology: Example:
Girl: “I still can’t believe you aren’t drinking, why did you
even come to a bar then?” You: “Wow, you’re right. I see
the error of my ways now. People should only come to
social environments to get so drunk they pass out. Thank
you so much for you enlightening views on bar etiquette
and the human condition.”
Or: Her: “I’m having a serious conversation with my
friend.” You: Holy shit! DJ, stop the fucking music! These
girls came to the club to have a serious conversation!”
The key to all of these is that you should not break your
mood, get upset, or sincerely apologize. Secondly, you
should go immediately back to what you were talking
about after you handle the shit test, and talk about it with
the same enthusiasm you had previously, as if the shit test
never happened. This gives her a way to go back to a normal
conversation, with no harm done.
Remember: Beautiful women aren’t running around shit
testing lame dudes, the elderly, or the incapable. Those
dudes just get ignored. If these tests are coming up in your
interactions it’s because she has some level of interest in you
and wants to find out quickly if you’re pimp or a simp. If she
didn’t have interest, she would simply walk away.
Don’t be a fucking simp!! Stay in there and lead the girl!
I Don’t Know How to Get Physical:
Physical escalation is a crucial part of any interaction because
it differentiates between a friendly conversation and a
situation with romantic undertones. This is also one of the
hardest parts of game for men to learn due to do the risk
to their egos. However, when ego is put aside escalation
is actually quite easy. There are three parts to escalation:
structure, calibration, and fluidity.
Structure: Most escalation ladders are somewhat arbitrary,
but they give you a framework to standardize physical
escalation so that it becomes habit easily. An escalation ladder
goes from light touch to intimate touch without skipping
steps. This means that unless the girl is really down, go
through all the steps so that its comfortable for her and not
jarring. A standard ladder looks like this:
»» Handshake/ or hive five
»» Touching arm or shoulder
»» Hand across shoulder (if next to her) or hands on waist
(if in front of her)
»» Arms around her hips/ or lifting her up
»» Kissing neck
»» Making out
»» Escalation should be started early, at least within the first
5 minutes. How much time it takes to get through this
ladder depends completely on her comfort level. This
leads us to…
Calibration: Most guys suck at physical escalation
because they are not listening to their partner’s verbal and
nonverbal cues. This makes escalation come off as clunky or
uncomfortable. Calibration is the act of basing your escalation
on the feedback you are getting in real time, while still leading
and taking initiative. Also remember that if a girl tells you not
to touch her, you must respect that. Keys to calibration are:
Two steps forward, one step backwards: When you initially
escalate, go fully through the step, then back off 50%. This
shows her that you touch from you is not going to just become
more and more intense. An example would be hugging her
and then backing off till only your arm is around her.
Being the first to extinguish: Escalation can be made all
the more powerful if you are the one to stop the escalation
rather than waiting for her to do it. If she was enjoying the
escalation, this will make her chase you and wonder why
you stopped. An example would be making out with her for
a few seconds then actively stopping and continuing the
conversation.
Building sexual tension: The point of escalation is not to be
making out in the club, the point is to build sexual tension
between you and your girl that culminates later. Think of
sexual tension like a balloon. The more flirtatious and touchy
you both are with each other while still making her wonder
if she could have you, the more tension is built. However, if
she knows completely that she could have you, then sexual
tension is released. Too much making out or feeling each
other up also releases the tension because it takes all the
mystery away. Ideally you are going two steps forward, one
step backwards throughout the night while building tension
more than you are releasing it. Tension should be at its
maximum when you are both alone together at the end of the
night.
Fluidity: The biggest problem men have with physical
escalation is the robotic and clumsy way they implement it.
Physical escalation should come off a natural extension of the
interaction, not a move. Keep these concepts in mind as you
practice...
Context: When and how you touch her should make sense
with the conversation and other social dynamics at play. It’s
a great idea to lift her up when you’re on the dance floor,
put your arm around her shoulders when you are showing
her photos, or have your arms around her hips when you
are having an intimate conversation. Each physical move
should be paired up with the most appropriate part of the
conversation, and should accent and highlight those parts as if
they were an extension of the words themselves.
Movement: Nothing is worse than a guy that puts his hand
on a women’s lower back and leaves it there all night. Each
move should be part of an overall dance. This means that
any escalation move is done only for a period of time, is
mixed in with de-escalation, and is also blended in with other
escalation moves. Simply put, you are
moving a lot while escalating, making
giving the escalation a shifting sands
quality rather than a static quality.
High notes: Ideally times when
you are escalating more intensely
should sync up with high notes in
the interaction. This means kiss her
when you guys are having a fun or
romantically charged moment, not
when you’re both bored and can’t
think of anything to say. This not
only makes the escalation more
comfortable for her, but also makes
her associate your touch with positive
emotions.
I’m Going Through a State Crash:
State crashes happen to everyone who is starting out in
the game. Although they all but disappear with training and
experience, as a beginner they can eat up a lot of time and
slow your progress tremendously.
State crashes usually happen from a disconnect between
how you want people around you to respond and how they
actually respond, combined with a low tolerance for people
viewing you negatively. Beginners tend to over invest in a
girls’ reaction, since they have not approached enough sets
to realize how meaningless one data point is. They have an
image of how the approach would ideally work. They then tie
this to their self-image. When reality does not align with their
ideal fantasy, their self-image falls as well. As the beginner
gets more and more experience, he realizes two things. First,
that the game has an inherent element of randomness in it
and some amount of negative reactions are a built-in feature
that can never be avoided. Second, that basing yourself
image on outside influences of any kind is a sure-fire way
to psychologically torture yourself. This is also the hallmark
behavior of a SIMP/Bitch/Loser who is very weak in his
identity.
I’m consistently surprised by how many very high quality men
have this issue. It’s one of the main things I help clients with
on Bootcamp – crafting a stronger identity, and learning how
to best communicate your legitimate value to the women will
make you naturally attractive to the women you want.
Knowing how these mindsets progress will help decrease
state crashes in the long-term.
In the short-term (if you are having a state crash RIGHT
NOW), there is still hope. The symptoms of a state crash
include being stuck in your head, predicting negative
outcomes from future sets, and having a hard time translating
thought into action. The antidotes are as follows:
1. Drop all expectations of yourself. Your immediate goal is
not to get laid, or even to have a good set. Your immediate
goal is just to get back into a calm and relaxed state. Drop
all thoughts about reactions you have to get or what the
set has to look like. Any reaction is fine for now.
2. Positive spiral: A feature of state crashes is giving yourself
negative feedback, leading to worse sets, leading to more
negative feedback, ad infinitum. For the rest of the night
you are only allowed to give yourself positive feedback,
no matter what happens. This will put you into a positive
spiral and get you back in a very positive mood.
3. Taking action: instead of expecting to go from a state
crash directly back into long sets, take pressure off
yourself and consciously make the sets short and
therefore easier to execute. First set you only need to go
up and say hello, then leave. Second set you only need to
go up, say hello, and ask one question. Third set you add
a few sentences after the question, and so on. This is a
manageable task that your brain can handle in any state.
4. If you are having trouble starting the first set after your
state crash, break the action down even further. Focus
on first physically turning towards your next set, then
moving your dominant foot up and forward, therefore
taking the first step towards her. Focus solely on taking
each subsequent step. By the time you get there, your
brain will think of something to say.
Don’t worry about the outcome, but:
TAKE ACTION NOW!!
Girl’s friends keep coming into my sets:
Beautiful women almost never come to nightlife venues
alone. Expect that any attractive women you meet in a bar or
a nightclub is either going to be with friends when you meet
them, or have friends somewhere in the vicinity. At some
point she’s going to either need to check in on her friends, or
her friends are going to come find her. How do you manage
this without the friends pulling her away?
1. Be proactive about finding or introducing yourself to the
friends. If they are there when you approach, introduce
yourself to them within the first few minutes. Talk to them
enough to establish that you are a normal, cool person.
This means flirting and self amusing with them, but dialing
back the polarization and sexuality. The content is still
emotionally relevant and fun, but not as sharp as your
content with your chosen girl. If you approach a girl alone
and the friend then comes up, introduce yourself as soon
as possible. If you approach a girl alone and some time has
passed, ask if she has friends in the environment. If she
does, at some point you will need to proactively lead her
to them and introduce yourself.
2. Establish that you are a good option for her: Many sets
end at the end of the night when a girls friends pull her
away. If she is there with a group, then it will likely be
somewhat of a group decision whether she can come
home with you. In addition to the above introduction
method, you will need to both tell the group or leader
of the group that you are interested in her, and convey
that you are a good option for her. This is done best by
playfully vocalizing that you are interested in each other,
not just that you are interested in her. “Sarah and I are
getting married, we hope you approve.” “I think your
friend is in love with me. I kind of like her too.” In between
these statements, you talk to the group for long enough
for them to feel that you would fit in with the group well if
you were to date their friend. Being friendly and positive
is usually enough to convey this.
3. Seeding and incentivizing the pull: To the friends, you
should be seeding the pull in parallel with seeding it to
your girl. Telling the friends you want to get food with
their friend, show her something outside the bar, or get
a drink with her at another bar is good. The knowledge
that you are conveying is that the activity their friend is
going to is safe, not far away, and will be something the
friend enjoys. Friends are also afraid to let guys leave with
their friend because it will result in them being at the bar
alone. Some girls may also be jealous that their friend
found a guy and they didn’t. You need to frame the pull in
such a way that the friends feel it is a winning situation
for them as well. This can be done by incentivizing them
in the present or the future. In the present, it includes
buying the friend drinks while telling them that you
want to spend a small amount of alone time with your girl. In the
future it means telling the friend that you are all going to go out
to brunch the next morning, grab pizza latter, go to an after party
later or a fun party or club tomorrow, or something else that the
friend would enjoy. As long as the friend feels she is also winning by
letting you both spend time alone, she will not try to block the two
of you from spending time together.
Conversation doesn’t go anywhere or is too stale: Statements of Intent/
Sexual escalation
It’s easy to get frustrated at having conversation after conversation go
nowhere and end with “Nice to meet you”. This comes from interactions
that have no romantic or sexual undertone, and instead plot along
as either a mutual interview, small talk, or a conversation between
platonic friends. In order to lead your interactions towards a romantic
outcome, you’re going to have to be upfront about your intentions,
create a flirtatious vibe, and build sexual tension. These goals are
accomplished through two things: statements of intent, and injecting
sexuality into the conversation.
Statements of intent: These are small statements that explicitly show
your interest. Like physical escalation, these work as a ladder starting
with small innocuous statements and building towards more overt
statements. The goal is to frame the interaction as romantic or sexual
in nature, so that she can opt in or opt out depending on what she is
looking for. Guys are scared to add this dynamic to their interactions
because it will naturally end a subset of interactions in which
the girl is not interested. It is important to understand though
that those girls weren’t going home with you anyways.
Statements of intent also move the interaction forward and
add sexual tension.
Ideally you want to make your own statements of intent
ranging from small to large, but here is a sample ladder for
you to experiment with:
1. I like the dress you have a good sartorial sense
2. You’re pretty cute for a girl from (Blank)
3. Were you always attractive or were you like a nerd that
became attractive
4. If you were my girlfriend we’d never leave the bedroom
5. What are you doing to me? Stop trying to seduce me and
turn me on.
6. Damn I want to take you home right now.
Obviously you want to sprinkle these statements in, not say
them all in a row. The ladder should last from the opener to
when you go back to your place. Also realize that there is
no magic in these exact sentences or this exact number of
sentences. Experiment with statements of intent that work
for you, and build your own ladder.
Injecting sexuality: This is a very similar concept from
statements of intent with a few key distinctions. Injecting
sexuality simply means talking about sex within the
conversation, but without making the sexuality about
her or expecting anything from her. This gives makes
the conversation sexually charged, shows that you are
comfortable with sex, and shows that you are non-judgmental
about sex. These are statements or topics that you sprinkle
into the conversation, without asking her about sex or
expecting her to respond. This last part is important, because
if you introduce sexuality and then try to gauge her response,
it will come off as weird and try hard. Instead it should just be
a natural part of the things you talk about. These statements
can be both joking or serious.
Joking examples: “I like it when girls say harder not deeper.”
“My therapist told me to think of my dick as being nearly 3
inches even though its only 2 and a half.”
Non-joking examples: “Sometimes the most attractive girls
aren’t that great in bed because they don’t feel they have to
try as hard.”
The point is just to introduce sexuality into the conversation
and establish that it’s not a big deal.
30 More Common Bitch-Ass Excuses
Impeding Men’s Success with Women:
»» My dick fell off and crawled inside my asshole
»» I’ve turned gay and love cock now
»» I’m only going to make love to fresh fruit and
watermelons for the foreseeable future
»» I’m a nice-guy simp. I shouldn’t have to actually hustle
for anything in life.
»» My neighbor’s dog gives the best blowjobs
»» I just want my old girlfriend back
»» I’ll just stand on the dance floor and wait for a girl to
make eye contact before I approach
»» I have a hemorrhoid
»» I need Derek to tell me who I should be attracted to
»» My tummy hurts
»» None of the girls are hot enough
»» The 10 Commandments weren’t a magic pill
»» I’ll just do it next weekend
»» I’m working only on my social-circle game/online
dating/day-game, because I’m a cunt and not
compelling enough to meet strangers in a nightclub
»» I need a drink first
»» Maybe I’ll rent a prostitute
»» I’m too broke/fat/ugly
»» I had explosive diarrhea
»» I’ll just date and old/fat woman
»» I already talked to that one
»» Masturbating to family photos is cool too
»» She might say mean words to me Derek
»» I don’t get rejected by my sex doll/internet porn
»» My dick is too small. I’ll just rub it like a little clit
»» I was too tired
»» I don’t think she’d be into me
»» My friends will judge me
»» I need a wingman, because I’m too weak to succeed
alone
»» I’ll just stay in and cry myself to sleep
»» I cut my dick while shaving